Members Mr. Donovan Posted November 13, 2005 Members Share Posted November 13, 2005 And my prospects for getting laid are quite low, so the monastery option is looking more and more viable. I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Anderton Posted November 13, 2005 Members Share Posted November 13, 2005 Do you drink coffee, or significant amounts of alcohol? OR have late dinners? Any of those could interfere with sleep patterns. Try protein-based breakfast/lunch and high carbohydrate-based dinners (e.g., pasta). I use that to combat jet lag, where the "wake up after a few hours sleep thing" is common. Your body gets a quick shot of energy with carbs, but then falls off rapidly and stays down. With protein, you get sleepy at first, but as the body assimilates the protein, it will tend to get more wakeful after 5-6 hours. And while THE FOLLOWING DOES NOT SUBSTITUTE FOR MEDICAL ADVICE, I find Melotonin an excellent way to reset the body clock. Take a Melotonin capsule about an hour before going to bed for a week, and see if your body clock resets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Paolo Di Nicolantonio Posted November 13, 2005 Members Share Posted November 13, 2005 I am almost certain that getting laid is preferable to becoming a monk. You don't look too ugly (is that you sleeping on the oscilloscope?), so maybe you're not trying hard enough? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members d. gauss Posted November 13, 2005 Members Share Posted November 13, 2005 > why not become a catholic priest? then you can do both... 'cept it'll be with altar boys -d. gauss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mike51 Posted November 13, 2005 Members Share Posted November 13, 2005 Originally posted by Mr. Donovan And my prospects for getting laid are quite low, so the monastery option is looking more and more viable. I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rudolf von Hagenwil Posted November 13, 2005 Members Share Posted November 13, 2005 solution is def. getting laid in a monastery, i know one in France witharound 40 nuns, all under forty... . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members The Pro Posted November 13, 2005 Members Share Posted November 13, 2005 Work on your tan. Ride a bike. Craig's suggestion about Melotonin is valid, and I've read about people who don't sleep well also don't seem to get enough daytime sunshine. Don't they have call girls in Iowa? If not, you definitely need a vacation from the Midwest... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bbach Posted November 13, 2005 Members Share Posted November 13, 2005 Originally posted by Angelo Clematide solution is def. getting laid in a monastery, i know one in France with around 40 nuns, all under forty... . :D Listen up Donovan. You don't need a monestary. You are simply lonely and horny. That affects people. There isn't anyone in this forum that can suddenly make you bold enough to pick up women. You are going to have to make that move yourself. Getting laid is like a sales job. It's all about numbers. If you are clumbsy with women, you might have to ask a hundred women out to get one date, but you will get one. So, ask five hundred out and get five dates. Don't worry about the other 495. They have no meaning in your quest. Keep your focus. Its all about the numbers. If you are seeking love, well, that's a whole nother story man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tedster Posted November 13, 2005 Members Share Posted November 13, 2005 Hey, you can get laid all you want. Just start with women that no other guy would ask out...you know...in their 60s...80 lbs overweight. The same goes for you lonely women out there. Give some homely guy a sympathy {censored}. It'll do wonders for you. You don't have to be with them forever, and to hell with what your friends will say. They're not getting laid either, 'cuz they're too damn proud. And, y'know, really, there are some damn fine looking older women out there. I'm not talking about with walkers and stuff, I'm talking about in their 50s or a little older. Some have been divorced for years, and the thought of being able to show a younger guy the ropes is what they live for. Go get 'em, tiger... ROWRRRRRRR.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members spokenward Posted November 13, 2005 Members Share Posted November 13, 2005 hey, even Iowa has Trappists . (outside of Dubuque - I grew up in NE Iowa) The no-sleeping thing is just a bonus there. The wakeup call is at 3:15AM.Before enlightenment - chop wood, carry water.After enlightenment - chop wood, carry water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members deanmass Posted November 13, 2005 Members Share Posted November 13, 2005 Ted, you are a messed up puppy. I luv ya! My thoughts on this are; I hear monks actually COULD get laid quite a bit. Consider first impersonating a monk for a while in an attempt to get laid. You just need an orange sheet and a razor. The sheet can serve as bedding in a pinch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted November 13, 2005 Moderators Share Posted November 13, 2005 Originally posted by BLAblablah I have much the same problem, but I think I've found a solution...divorce My lord, BLAblabla, that hits home like sledgehammer. Hey Donovan, if you're interested in meditation, check out Paramhansa Yoganada's writings. He created a disipline that combines eastern and western thinking. It's not quackery by any strech of the imagination. They offer lessons on a very disiplined form of yoga meditation that is available through the mail. I live 1/2 a mile down from one off thier temples in Encinitas, CA. Paramhansa was stronly associated with Ghandi. Ravi Shankar and George Harrison (even Madonna?!?!) have used his teachings to thier benifit. Ravi still lives in my area arriving first to meet up with Paramhansa here at the Encinitas temple back in the 60's. http://www.yogananda-srf.org/index.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members UstadKhanAli Posted November 13, 2005 Members Share Posted November 13, 2005 Inspired by Tedster's fine suggestion, here's a link you may like! Paramahansa Yogananda and Thich Naht Hanh are excellent reads for Western-oriented people. Practical down to earth advice, easy to read, and doesn't delve into esoteric religious talk. And if it's women that is really that's the impetus for this thread, just basically lighten up and talk, have FUN, don't think about getting laid but basically just keep the conversation FUN and entertaining and try not to come across as a needy guy who's seeking approval, and the rest should follow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mr. Botch Posted November 13, 2005 Members Share Posted November 13, 2005 Just cuz you're not getting laid doesn't mean you have to join a monestary, I've proven that most of my life. You don't get laid IN on monestary either, plus you can't have a cold beer and the food sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Brittanylips Posted November 13, 2005 Members Share Posted November 13, 2005 Dear Mr. Donovon, I am deeply moved by your post above and have spent a great deal of time mulling it over in my head. In fact, I have so many thoughts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Hanshananigan Posted November 13, 2005 Members Share Posted November 13, 2005 Well, you have the center of Transcendental Meditation up there in Fairfield, but it's not the course I'd take... In a Zen monastery, you'll end up sleeping 4-5hrs per night. You get a glazed look in your eye after a couple weeks. In general, everything is so regimented in a monk's life, it does alter your pattern of thinking- think about how life would be if you rarely needed to make any decisions about what to wear, what to eat, how to walk, what to do on Fri night; you have so much less stimulation (boobs you see as you drive around trying to decide on what area of the mall you should park at), things to think about....it's somethin', I reckon. I say just go to sleep before midnight, dude. There's lots of good info on the web about "sleep hygiene" as well. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Super 8 Posted November 14, 2005 Members Share Posted November 14, 2005 You don't need a monastery, and you sure don't need to get laid. What you need son, is to join the French Foreign Legion! That'll fix you up real good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rudolf von Hagenwil Posted November 14, 2005 Members Share Posted November 14, 2005 Originally posted by Super 8 What you need son, is to join the French Foreign Legion!That'll fix you up real good. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAA urghhh PENG Laurel & Hardy:http://www.danburymint.co.uk/products/M_FLEGP.JPG . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bbach Posted November 14, 2005 Members Share Posted November 14, 2005 Originally posted by BLAblablah I have much the same problem, but I think I've found a solution...divorce bwaa haaa haaa. I love it. My advice to my sons: if you like sex, stay single. If you don't, get married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mr. Donovan Posted November 14, 2005 Author Members Share Posted November 14, 2005 I would like to thank everyone who has posted in this thread. Every single post has been valuable. I wish I could reply to each post right now, but this issue opens up so many cans of worms that I really can Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rudolf von Hagenwil Posted November 15, 2005 Members Share Posted November 15, 2005 How about some Sport !?!?!?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rudolf von Hagenwil Posted November 15, 2005 Members Share Posted November 15, 2005 for example this national championship held every weekend: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tedster Posted November 15, 2005 Members Share Posted November 15, 2005 "Sex Monastery" WBAGNFARB. Did we say that already? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rudolf von Hagenwil Posted November 15, 2005 Members Share Posted November 15, 2005 No "Sex monastery" wasn't mention yet, we talked about "Monastery sex". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeff da Weasel Posted November 15, 2005 Members Share Posted November 15, 2005 What's going to happen after you get laid and are still suffering from the same aimlessness and malaise? What then, I ask you? The solution to your problems, friend, will not come from tawdry sex or a prescription bottle. Instead, they will come from within. You seem to enjoy writing. Why not do some of that, with purpose? You know, a little longer format, with a plot of some kind. Some conflict, some tension, some resolution. You could become a stereotypical reclusive novelist! And you could start today. No training required. Really. But you should probably get laid first, so you can stop thinking about that and focus on your work. You're welcome. - Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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