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Polishing the Turd.


daklander

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Polishing turds is a dirty business. First off, you need to honestly determine if the turd is worthy of further attention. If it is, after carefull inspection, here's the way I do it...

 

Do yourself a favor and get a can of Johnson's Turd Compound. This is going to take the majority of the rough edges away, getting you closer, but not ALL the way to a polished turd.

 

Next, splurge and buy my Lee's High Gloss Turd Sheen. You'll have to Google it. Warning... I don't give this stuff away, and it's not cheap, but if you really want a polished turd, and not some shiny wannna be, this is the way. Please follow the directions closely.

 

I've got turds around my place that could blind you!

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Originally posted by Counterpoint

Don't waste time polishing turds. You can't make filet mignon out of meatloaf.


In other words, no matter how many effects you put on Britney's voice, she isn't going to sound like Whitney Houston.

 

That's just not true any more. With products like "Lee's High Gloss Turd Sheen", and to a lesser degree, some of the competitor's products, today more then ever, turds can be polished. You doo, however, have to pick and choose your turds.

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Turd polishing can be a tourist industry, as in Alaska...

 

moosenuggetearrings.jpg

171024.jpg

 

Moose turds are small, a little bigger than a black olive. They crap huge piles of them. A long time ago, some enterprising chap thought it would be cool to shellac them (turd polishing) and sell them as novelty gifts.

 

The town of Talkeetna has an annual Moose Dropping Festival.

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