Ebay seller phrases/words that make you want to smash something...

[Chad]

I posted these on another forum, but thought I'd post them here too. Anyway, these phrases are so worthless and annoying. Sellers, please just type a good description (not a novel), provide good pics, and maintain good feedback. On with the list...

 

Note: I will try to add more phrases/words to this first post as forum members contribute and time permits.

 

 

"Bid with confidence"

 

Ya know, reading that in a listing has never caused me to bid with confidence. I build confidence in a listing by looking at a seller's pics, reading the description/terms, checking out their feedback, observing if the price/shipping fees seem fair, etc.

 

 

 

"My loss, your gain"

 

Okay, after reading that I don't even care what you're selling I HAVE To have it.

 

 

 

"Perfect" or "Mint"

 

Sorry, I've owned and seen a lot of guitars and have never seen one that is 100% perfect. I guarantee your guitar isn't perfect either. Not only is that an unrealistic word to use in a description, but it is just BEGGING for a buyer dispute claim.

 

 

 

"Upgraded"

 

Nope. MODIFIED is the correct word 99% of the time.

 

 

 

"Unplayed"

 

If it's sealed in the original box MAYBE, but I would like to think the manufacturer strummed at least a few of the strings during QC. That would qualify as "played" in my book. Aside from that, seriously, you never strummed one chord on the guitar EVER? You never bumped one of the strings while putting it away? Yeah, right.

 

 

 

"Serious bidders only"

 

How do you determine if a bidder is serious? I've placed some bids when I wasn't in a totally serious mood. Bidding can be fun. That phrase just makes a seller sound negative and condescending.

 

 

 

"Her" or "She"

 

If B.B. wants to name his guitar Lucille, whatever. He's B.B. King. But beyond that, I find attaching a gender to a guitar....bizarre. But even if you WANT to do that, then do it on your own, but NOT in your Ebay listings. If you call it "her", I dread to think what you've done to the guitar.

 

 

 

"Lawsuit guitar"

 

There have indeed been some lawsuits over the years in the guitar industry, but it seems sellers get carried away with the term. Have they really studied the legal proceedings to see if a lawsuit was actually filed before making that statement?

 

 

 

"Great for slide"

 

You know the guitar is a wreck with sky high action when they say that.

 

 

 

"WOW" or "L@@K" in the title.

 

Is that really gonna increase sales and views of a listing?

 

 

 

"Priced to sell."

 

Who prices something NOT to sell? I guess maybe someone might post a listing with a super high reserve to get an idea of the item's value, but I don't think that is effective.

 

 

 

"Pics don't do the guitar justice."

 

That sometimes may be true (especially with red colors as they can be hard to photograph well), but a lot of times I see it with some very average guitars that are easy to represent with photos. And sure enough the pics indeed make the guitar look EXACTLY like they look in real life.

 

 

 

"Don't let it get away" or "Won't Last"

 

Meaningless rhetoric.

 

 

 

"Bonecrushing Tone", "Tone Monster", & "Mojo"

 

Don't come across the first one too often, but there is one specific seller who uses that phrase. I'm sorry, but what exactly does that even mean? Exaggerate a bit, do ya? I don't have any desire to buy/play an instrument that would render me crippled for life. As far as the other two, those phrases aren't concrete and definable. They are meaningless rhetoric.

 

 

 

"Plays like butter", "Plays like a dream", "Plays like a monster", etc.

 

Instead of that meaningless babble, how about something like, "I've owned a lot of guitars and have this guitar setup with 2/64" action measured open at the 12 fret and about .005" relief...and this guitar plays as clean and buzz free as some of the better guitars I've ever played...and I play with a medium attack." THAT actually offers some useful info.

 

 

 

"Natural Relic"

 

In other words, used with player wear.

 

 

 

"Now is your chance. You may never have the opportunity to buy one of these again."

 

Oooohhhhhhh, SOOOOOOOOOOOO dramatic!

 

 

 

"Be the envy of all your friends."

 

If a guitar makes me the envy of my friends, I have pathetic friends. If I buy a guitar because I WANT to be the envy of my friends, then I am even more pathetic.

 

 

 

"Vintage"

 

Occasionally accurate, but often overused and abused.

 

 

 

"Holy Grail"

 

Ya think that might be exaggerating a smidge?"

 

 

 

"Rare"

 

That's the number one, most abused word. It's literally the holy gra......wait, I can't say that. lol. Let's face it, the interwebz have proven that very few things are actually, truly rare. I just typed keyword "rare" into the Musical Instruments category. How many results? 6,757. lol.

 

 

 

General phrase/word annoyance:

 

When a seller uses the "product details" feature of Ebay and ends up with a 5,000 word litany of stock specs. Then they have a 5 word description of the actual item being sold. This needlessly clutters the listing and wastes potential buyer's time trying to find actual useful info. Another pet peeve: when a seller solely uses stock pics.

 

 

 

Brand specific annoyances:

 

"Pre-Fender" in the context of Jackson guitars.

 

Calling a "Squier" a "Fender"

 

Calling an "Epiphone" a "Gibson"

 

Calling an "LTD" an "ESP"

 

 

 

 

 

Got anymore to add? I'm sure I've left some out.

[honeyiscool]

"Great for slide"

[Cobalt Blue]

"Upgrades"

Almost always, upgrades means GFS pickups and strap locks, and I don't consider either of those two things to be upgrades

 

WOW

Is "wow" in the listing title really going to affect sales?

[Chad]

 

"Great for slide"

 

 

Yeah! You know the guitar is a wreck with sky high action when they say that.

[Chad]

 

"Upgrades" Almost always, upgrades means GFS pickups and strap locks, and I don't consider either of those two things to be upgrades

 

 

Yeah, I mentioned that one. "Modified" is the phrase they should be using. Whether or not the modification is an upgrade to a buyer is subjective.

[Crisco]

And the crusty ol' pawnshop owner sez:

"She sure is a looker! Plays purdy too. Try 'er out, she's a rare one. She's also

priced to sell"

[honeyiscool]

I think I did list my Jaguar as having upgraded pickups but Seymour Duncans SJAG-2 pickups are not even on the same planet as CIJ Jaguar pickups, so that had to be considered a straight upgrade.

 

Meanwhile, the Mustang bridge, I didn't consider an upgrade and said it was modified with it, and that it's one of the most common Jaguar modifications. It's an upgrade to me and most other people but purists might not agree.

[Chad]

 

priced to sell "

 

 

That's a GREAT one that I've seen tons of times. Who prices something NOT to sell? I guess maybe someone might post a listing with a super high reserve to get an idea of the item's value, but I don't think that is effective. I seldom ever bid or buy from reserve listings.

[larry50]

"Vintage", which means the guitar is at least three years old.

[Chad]

"Pics don't do it justice"

 

That sometimes may be true (especially with red colors), but a lot of times I see it with some very average guitars that are easy to represent with photos. And sure enough the pics indeed make the guitar look EXACTLY like they look in real life.

[Chad]

"Don't let it get away"

[Crisco]

"Won't Last!"

Sure hope it does. That's not very encouraging...hope it doesn't pop apart like a golf ball

[billybilly]

Rather than phrases, I hate when people are selling used, non-vintage gear for more than a brand new one is worth. This happens a lot in Australia. Admittedly, I have sent them emails which read... "Is your guitar like this one?" And then send a link for a retail ad in which the same guitar brand new is 20 to 30 percent less.

[Chad]

"Mint"

 

With the advent of the internet and ease of showing pics, it's not necessary to assign a grade or condition level to a guitar. That's just so 80s/90s. Let the pics and description do the talking.

[flummox]

Mojo

Tone Monster

Natural Relic

Patina

GIBSON (Epiphone)

FENDER (Squier)

[billybilly]

Also, people who relic their guitars themselves and expect no devaluation. Give me a break.

[Chad]

ESP (LTD)

[Chad]

 

I disagree. Pictures can show the good sides of a guitar and even severe buckle rash can be hidden in a picture. A grade or condition gives you recourse for Paypal disputes if the guitar isn't as described.

 

 

Fair enough. But if I can't clearly see the overall condition of a guitar from the listed pics, then I either ask for more pics or I move on. I mentioned in the OP that "Perfect" is not an accurate word to describe any guitar IMO and it is a dangerous word in that it is BEGGING for a buyer dispute. I put "MINT" in the same category as I see it synonymous with perfect. For guitars in lesser condition, I dunno. So many condition terms are arbitrary. I think back to baseball card condition terms of the 80s. You'd think a card in "very good" condition would mean it's in nice shape. But in reality a card in very good condition isn't......well, in very good shape. If a buyer disputes the word "very good" there could be arguments over whether that was a general description or a term from some price guide from who knows when and who knows where.

[BryanMichael]

I still "grade" my guitars when I sell them online because despite the fact that it is truly a subjective rating, it's something people are familiar with and it allows me to fine tune the claim when "the pictures don't do it justice" More often than not I find that FLAWS are harder to illustrate in pics than not, especially when they are very minor and you are just trying to let someone get an honest picture of the instrument. I also always say "Check my feedback and bid with confidence" - it's marketing language for sure, it's a "call to action" that closes the ad - but it is AN AD for crying out loud and I have more than 633 transactions and a 100% positive feedback record. I want people paying attention to that, It's often a deciding factor between someone with the same item (even priced cheaper) and buying from me. People will pay an extra few bucks for the "guarantee" of someone with stellar feedback.

 

That said, I think "vintage" is thrown around a lot in general, not just on ebay. WTF is "vintage tone"?

[knotty]

Except for

 

Which means - ignore what I have already said about mint and like new

[soundcreation]

Nothing makes me want to smash things....

 

but in the spirit....

 

People who sell MIJ guitars and call them "Lawsuit" guitars. Unless it's a 70's Ibanez that was imported to the US....NO japanese guitars are "Lawsuit" guitars.

[Chad]

 

I also always say "Check my feedback and bid with confidence" - it's marketing language for sure, it's a "call to action" that closes the ad - but it is AN AD for crying out loud and I have more than 633 transactions and a 100% positive feedback record. I want people paying attention to that, It's often a deciding factor between someone with the same item (even priced cheaper) and buying from me. People will pay an extra few bucks for the "guarantee" of someone with stellar feedback.

 

 

I reckon it's perhaps a YMMV kind of thing and some of these phrases might "wow" the weaker minded folks, but for me personally they are just a waste of time. Something that is irritating is when a seller says something like what you just posted, then I look at their return policy and it states "No Returns Accepted". If a seller stands by the guitar and wants to wow the buying public, then they should not just talk the talk, but also walk the walk and allow a return if the item is not as described. With the Ebay/Paypal dispute process, a buyer pretty much has a return policy anyway regardless of what the listing says. So why not build goodwill and actually offer the confidence and "guarantee" of allowing a return if not as described? BTW, I don't know if you offer returns or not....I was just making a general statement. As a buyer, I've only had 2 or 3 problem transactions on Ebay in the last 14 years and interestingly the sellers all had 100% positive feedback.

[photon9]

Plays like butter.

 

I sure hope not!

[Minnie The Moocher]

 

"Great for slide"

 

 

That's right - quite frightening most of the time. But ... I recently bought a '75 Musicmaster, and here's what the seller said "I bought it to set it up for slide". The price was more than fair, so I still took it ... and I was right, this is a lovely guitar with low action and no buzz.

[Chad]

 

Plays like butter. I sure hope not!

 

 

Or similar...

 

"Plays like a dream"

 

"Plays like a monster"

 

Instead of that meaningless babble, how about something like, "I've owned a lot of guitars and have this guitar setup with 2/64" action measured open at the 12 fret and about .005" relief...and this guitar plays as clean and buzz free as some of the better guitars I've ever played...and I play with a medium attack." THAT actually offers some useful info.