Who was your first

[James Hart]

My first ass was a True fox. She had a curvy & petit shaped body, but she was either mad crazy,or was just hollow headed.Tobacco stained 4 different colored teeth (typical street walker).I bought her for 25 dollars.I had a job as a fry cook at a local drive-in restraunt for a dollar an hour,so money was no object for me as a 13 year old!Lol.BTW,I think the crabs were worth it.

[NeonVomit]

My ex. Tall, athletic toned figure, endless legs... a wonderful first time. She was into oriental dancing. In my room, with Shadow Gallery playing.

 

Since then, I've only slept with dancer types, I have a serious weakness for that. My current girl is a Russian ballet dancer, who's just completed her Advanced 2 diploma with distinction. Flexibility for days

[DevilRaysFan]

My hand

[NeonVomit]

My hand

 

Well if we're taking that as an answer this would be a mighty boring thread

[AntiStuff]

Your mom.

[Thunderbroom]

She looked very similar to a dancer on a current TV show:

 

[Captain Fathead]

Smelling like a brewery, looking like a tramp,

I aint got a quarter, got a postage stamp

Been five oclock shadow boxing all around the town,

Talking with the old man, sleeping on the ground

Bazanti bootin al zootin al hoot and al cohn

Sharing this apartment with a telephone pole

And a fish-net stocking, spike-heel shoes,

Strip tease, prick tease, car keys blues

And the porno floor show, live nude girls,

Dreamy and creamy and brunette curls

Chesty morgan and watermelon rose

Raise my rent and take off all your clothes

With trench coats, magazines, a bottle full of rum,

Shes so good, make a dead man come

Pasties and a g-string, beer and a shot

Portland through a shot glass and a buffalo squeeze

Wrinkles and cherry and twinkie and pinkie and fifi live from gay paree

Fanfares, rim shots, back stage, who cares, all this hot burlesque for me

 

Cleavage, cleavage, thighs and hips

]from the nape of her neck to the lipstick lips

Chopped and channeled and lowered and lewd

And the cheater slicks and baby moons

Shes a-hot and ready, creamy and sugared

And the band is awful and so are the tunes

 

Crawling on her belly, and shaking like jelly,

And Im getting harder than chinese algebrassieres

And cheers from the (hmm) compendium here

hey sweetheart theyre yelling for more

Youre squashing out your cigarette butts on the floor

And I like shelly, and you like jane

And what was the girl with the snakeskins name?

And its an early-bird matinee, come back any day,

Get you a little something that you cant get at home

Get you a little something that you cant get at home

Its pasties and a g-string, beer and a shot

Portland through a shot glass and a buffalo squeeze

Popcorn, front row, higher than a kite, and Ill be back tomorrow night,

And Ill be back tomorrow night

[Super Bass]

She looked very similar to a dancer on a current TV show:

 

 

What the hell is wrong with her neck?

[misterhinkydink]

DRF's hand.

[DevilRaysFan]

 

DRF's hand.

 

 

sloppy second's

[t3ch]

Well if we're taking that as an answer this would be a mighty boring thread

 

Actually I had sex before ever whackin it

[ThudMaker]

This thread is an excellent parody, but . . . . . . . . . . . . . .TMI

[I_PvP_in_RL]

Oh I didn't read the title. My first was in 9th grade to a girl named Leslie. She sure had a purty mouth.

[James Hart]

This thread is an excellent parody, but . . . . . . . . . . . . . .TMI

 

 

thanks but . . . . . . . . . what?

[J.]

A fat chick.

 

I started dating her mostly because I was still devastated and heartbroken after being dumped by my first love, and wanted something -anything- to help me get my mind off things.

 

Well, we were in my parents' hot tub together and one thing led to another. I went along with it because I didn't care anymore (up until the split with my ex I'd been a no-sex-'til-marriage type). I couldn't even get it up all the way, I was so depressed. She was totally horned up, so I sat there with this big cow on top of me, trying desperately to guide my wet noodle into her cavernous cooze. I finally knew when my virginity was lost when I asked "is it in?" and she affirmed that it was. It was a terrible experience for me and probably a terrible one for her too.

 

I don't like to think about it. At the very least, my first time should've been with someone who was at least somewhat attractive, and it should've been something I really wanted. Instead, the experience was altogether a negative one. Just imagine a manatee trying to stab itself with a hot dog. That's pretty much it.

 

Cripes.

[NITROHOLIC]

she was totally headless. could tune her by twisting her pegs at the bottem of her body bought her for 15 bucks. . . wait? are we talkin bout womens or basses????

[Crescent Seven]

 

A fat chick. I started dating her mostly because I was still devastated and heartbroken after being dumped by my first love, and wanted something -anything- to help me get my mind off things. Well, we were in my parents' hot tub together and one thing led to another. I went along with it because I didn't care anymore (up until the split with my ex I'd been a no-sex-'til-marriage type). I couldn't even get it up all the way, I was so depressed. She was totally horned up, so I sat there with this big cow on top of me, trying desperately to guide my wet noodle into her cavernous cooze. I finally knew when my virginity was lost when I asked "is it in?" and she affirmed that it was. It was a terrible experience for me and probably a terrible one for her too. I don't like to think about it. At the very least, my first time should've been with someone who was at least somewhat attractive, and it should've been something I really wanted. Instead, the experience was altogether a negative one. Just imagine a manatee trying to stab itself with a hot dog. That's pretty much it. Cripes.

 

 

Don't feel bad. The girl I lost mine to went butch. I saw her at the bar a few weeks ago, with a zero-fade crew cut, rolled up t-shirt sleeves, Levi 517's and steel toed boots. Jesus.

C7

[Robin]

Remember it like it was yesterday!

 

Co-ed boarding school, she was 18, me 14. A gorgeous brunette "woman." I kinda thought she was my g/f but, quickly overcame that idea after that night. On to the rest of the world.

 

I remember saying ...'is this all there is to it?'

Her: 'pretty much'

Me: *I got 'dis!*

 

[DevilRaysFan]

Remember it like it was yesterday! Co-ed boarding school, she was 18, me 14. A gorgeous brunette "woman." I kinda thought she was my g/f but, quickly overcame that idea after that night. On to the rest of the world. I remember saying ...'is this all there is to it?' Her: 'pretty much' Me: *I got 'dis!*

 

 

 

You guys are so cool

 

Mine was a girl named Amy and it was pretty much two grunts and 5 seconds of the best fun she had ever had at the time......

[t3ch]

Mine was with my first real gf, who was really hot, on valentines day cause I'd saved myself until I thought I was in love with her (which was only about a month)....

 

I was a cheesy, naive mother {censored}er.

 

edit -- Actually, I wasn't officially a "mother {censored}er" until my next GF

[jonjohn]

she was totally headless. could tune her by twisting her pegs at the bottem of her body bought her for 15 bucks. . . wait? are we talkin bout womens or basses????

 

:lol: great post

[Gruntollio Bass]

Mine was about 3 weeks before my 18th birthday. I snuck into one of our local pubs and got chatting to a group of friends of friends and ended up chatting for most of the night to this shortish punk chick. I'm about 6'3" and she was at best maybe a foot shorter than me, but very sweet and pretty all the same.

I invited her back to mine to listen to some music (as this was mostly all we were yakking about all night). We got home and I threw on some music, get her and me a drink and sat there chatting on before she took the lead and basically said, "hey I'm getting a bit tired, lets go to bed!"

Before I knew it we were stripped naked and doing the hibberty jibberty!!!!

We ended up being good f**k buddies for about 5 or 6 months before I met one of a number of ex-disasters that I would leave in my wake over the years.

[gruvjack]

 

A fat chick. I started dating her mostly because I was still devastated and heartbroken after being dumped by my first love, and wanted something -anything- to help me get my mind off things. Well, we were in my parents' hot tub together and one thing led to another. I went along with it because I didn't care anymore (up until the split with my ex I'd been a no-sex-'til-marriage type). I couldn't even get it up all the way, I was so depressed. She was totally horned up, so I sat there with this big cow on top of me, trying desperately to guide my wet noodle into her cavernous cooze. I finally knew when my virginity was lost when I asked "is it in?" and she affirmed that it was. It was a terrible experience for me and probably a terrible one for her too. I don't like to think about it. At the very least, my first time should've been with someone who was at least somewhat attractive, and it should've been something I really wanted. Instead, the experience was altogether a negative one. Just imagine a manatee trying to stab itself with a hot dog. That's pretty much it. Cripes.

 

 

 

You're not alone. My first was robust to say the least. Charlene was a 16 year old that hung out with my neighbors. I was really stressed out with school and just wanted to shake off the curse of being a late bloomer. She came over to cheer me up and things just sorta happened.

 

Right after it happened, I was happy for about a minute. Then I thought, "What the {censored}? I just lost my virginity to her?" Her schoolmate Connie heard about it and scolded me "Of all the people in the world, why her?!!" Connie was to be my first girlfriend. We never had sex. Life is weird.

 

V.