Members TheLuxLife Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 i don't understand how a band could get *anything* done practicing 2 days a week. maybe you guys are all talking about cover band situations where you just learn the parts and go - yes, in that case you could not even have practice and still gig. our band practices at least 5 days a week if not every day, but we're an all-original band and we write all our songs and arrangements largely as a group. it simply isn't a situation where you can go learn your part by yourself because your part is dependent on everybody else's part and the more interaction between the parts during the writing the better, at least for what we're doing. if songs get stale, then you work on new ones. you should really always be writing - the more you write, the better you get at it. I check out your Myspace. Pretty nice stuff, but your drummer sounds a bit sloppy, no? Keep it up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators BATCAT Posted March 8, 2007 Moderators Share Posted March 8, 2007 i don't understand how a band could get *anything* done practicing 2 days a week. maybe you guys are all talking about cover band situations where you just learn the parts and go - yes, in that case you could not even have practice and still gig. our band practices at least 5 days a week if not every day, but we're an all-original band and we write all our songs and arrangements largely as a group. it simply isn't a situation where you can go learn your part by yourself because your part is dependent on everybody else's part and the more interaction between the parts during the writing the better, at least for what we're doing. I think if there's anything to be learned from this thread, it's that bands, and their optimal practice patterns, are unique. I've spent pretty much all of my time in all-original (or nearly so) bands, and I understand that that when you're writing and arranging parts in a collaborative situation (especially on your first couple albums), it can (and perhaps should) be fairly time-consuming. I've gone so far as sustaining a 3-4 day a week practice schedule for a few months. However, contrast that with this: when you've been together for years, and you're playing out regularly, and you're not in "we're about to write another album" mode, there isn't much point in rehearsing the hell out of songs you already know. In fact, it can take some of the edge off of them when you do them live. I'll even go so far to say it's fun to take a song you haven't played in years, play it once ortwice at practice before a show, then do it it live and go for broke. It's a rush! Really, it just depends. That said, most of the time I'd much rather gig twice a week and rehearse once, than rehearse three times. Also, as for as writing and recording, it's often amazing what can be accomplished by recording demo ideas and passing them around. Sometimes it comes together the first time you play the song as band... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members brassic Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 My boyfriend would rather watch paint dry or read the phone book than attend our rehearsals. He's been in bands so knows what they're like. Instead of having the "no significant others at rehearsal" rule, bands should have a "Significant others are REQUIRED to attend one rehearsal". Make sure it's a session where no other SOs are present. Three hours of sitting in a windowless room being ignored at a proper working rehearsal will be enough to kill the mystery. Either that or she'll be inspired to take up an instrument and join her own band. And make sure you're spending some good quality time with her outside of rehearsal (including a weekend night). Before I started playing, I dated a guy who was in a band. I once casually mentioned that maybe I could come along to a rehearsal. He looked horrified so I dropped the subject, but I seriously spent years thinking I was missing out on this big old jam session, with everyone hanging out, knocking back beers and passing round a few joints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Prog Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 One of the better local bands around here do not even rehearse AT ALL. They show up at gigs ready to go - the sign of true professionals. The Stones rehearsed for 3 solid weeks before their tour. The Boston Philharmonic rehearses year-round. Vladimir Horowitz played every day of his life. I guess they should learn from your local band what it is to be a true professional, huh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tweeter225 Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 Well, you should rephrase the question. It should read Girlfriend causing problems with the band. Get your priorities straight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members newmaxnew Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 My original band practices two times a week for three hours each session. (even with working on new tunes this means two solid hour of actually playing our songs). We don't have any problem writing songs with that much time (we are three piece band). I have been in situations with other musicians that have no long term memory and if they don't practice for a week they forget how to play the songs. I feel there is no excuse for this other than being lazy or a crapy musician. Max The cover band I play in practices once a week for four hours. We rehearse the band only. Everyone is responsible for learning the song outside of band practice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wades_keys Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 The Stones rehearsed for 3 solid weeks before their tour. The Boston Philharmonic rehearses year-round. Vladimir Horowitz played every day of his life.I guess they should learn from your local band what it is to be a true professional, huh? Nope. That's a totally different context - that is their career, and they are big time. The O.P. ain't the Rolling Stones - not even close - hell that's border-line delusional to even make that comparison, dont ya think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wades_keys Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 The Stones rehearsed for 3 solid weeks before their tour. The Boston Philharmonic rehearses year-round. Vladimir Horowitz played every day of his life.I guess they should learn from your local band what it is to be a true professional, huh? Look, I understand ambition and all that stuff. But there are limits, man. People burn out - drummers' arms build up lactic acid - you wonder why the drums on these tracks are sloppy, well that's your reason right there... In fact my drummer would refuse to do that much practice on those grounds - and he's right - he knows when not to push it because ultimately the music suffers. Plus the "ambitious" "I wanna make it" types I've met have all been intolerable pricks. Good luck keeping a band together when that happens - it's called Lead Singers Disease among other things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members One_Dude Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 I didn't read all the replies because there are so many, but my advice is to either dump her or make it clear to her that this is who you are. This complaint of her's that you are spending too much time away and not with her is just the tip of the iceberg. Many women are attracted to a guy for who he is and then immediately begin their efforts to change him. I heard a true saying many years ago; "A man marries a woman for who she is; A woman marries a man for who she thinks she can change him in to". Many women must be the "center of attention" and cannot stand being "along for the ride". Don't ask me how I know this. JR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members The Real MC Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 Na thats the true sign of a band thats been playing the same sets for along time. If you add new material ,, you have to have band practice. I have friends that dont practice.. but then their sets havent changed much in the 5 years that i have known them. Playing gigs is their band practice. Its a duo ... if they work up a new song they get together and work on it ,, or just do it on a slow night. You never get so good, that great arrangments and songs ,,just happen without any effort on your part. rat Sorry, but you don't know the definition of professional. I was in a band for five years - different set every night - and we were seasoned enough that we could wing through a song right on the gig. No rehearsal. Can you play Skynyrd I Know A Little right on the spot, no rehearsal - and get a great crowd response? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhat Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 Sorry, but you don't know the definition of professional. I was in a band for five years - different set every night - and we were seasoned enough that we could wing through a song right on the gig. No rehearsal. Can you play Skynyrd I Know A Little right on the spot, no rehearsal - and get a great crowd response? Nope never played any skynyard in my life. I quit playing years ago ,LS is pretty easy music after you got the guitar riffs down...., but I assure you ,, no way could you have jumped on the stuff we did without a workin in up in practice... We did stuff that took alot more arrangment and rehersal ,, yea some of the old easy stuff you could wing..we did stuff like wing a polka just for yuks,,,we had the horns and they were good ,, so if some old guy wanted to hear some tuijuana brass ,,we would wing that... but i doubt that many bands could do cryin shames or more and more or spinning wheel anything by the association ,, on the fly. We were a 7 piece with big time harmony and horns .... you dont wing it, with a band like that on anything of any challenge. I could see how you could do skynyard like that. As for the definintion of professional. Hmm i dont know ,, out of my old high school band ,, there are three band directors, one national sales mgr. We also had three chamber choir quality singers.. So we had talent and the ablity to sell the product. I do know what you are talking about. I know guys who can wing it pretty well.... but on the stuff we did ,, it took time to arrange it. Workin with a 7 piece doing the stuff we did ... took a little time to work stuff up. I played in a time when the vocals would have been behond the majority of the groups i hear today. the late 60s were pretty vocal intensive. bands were judged pretty well on their ability to sing harmony. Most of the challenging stuff all had 3 part vocals. I am sure you have a good band.... but maybe our definintion of professional might be a little different. I am sure the material is differnt. We held ourselves to pretty high standards and took on material that was a little past the winging it stage,, you can wing guitar parts.. its pretty hard to wing 3 part harmony or on a song that required more than just honk honk horn parts. We made 400 bucks a night in 1970. Thats 3700 dollars in todays money. But to be honest ,, it would have been a 1000 dollar to 1500 dollar a night band now.. and on the corp and wedding band trail. Most decent bands can wing stuff ,, but alot depends on what you are trying to wing. As for not knowing what professional is ... hmm not sure if i buy that.I played with some pretty good musicians. Our rock band was also the main boiler room for the school jazz band,, we took the state the year they recruited us. If you would have used some example beside LS. We always got a good crowd reponse..on every gig we did. I am sure you guys were very good ,,, but its kinda hard to compare the type of music that we were into. You can wing a guitar part... its pretty hard to wing some of the stuff we did ,, we could work it up pretty fast though. most stuff we could have arranged and ready to play out in a couple hours. The horn guys always had to transpose stuff ,, so they were on their own planet... and had to woodshed up their parts at home. Just a differnt kind of band. is that fair? rat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members newmaxnew Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 So I guess the Rolling Stones only practice three weeks in a year, how does that support your argument again? Since both of my bands rehearse nearly every week of the year we must be way more professional than the rolling stones huh? Max Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gtrbass Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 Many women are attracted to a guy for who he is and then immediately begin their efforts to change him. I heard a true saying many years ago; "A man marries a woman for who she is; A woman marries a man for who she thinks she can change him in to". Many women must be the "center of attention" and cannot stand being "along for the ride". JRYou just described my first marriage. We got together after I had already been on tour as a sideman with a major national act and had begun to establish myself. Looking back on it, my marriage really did derail my career. When it was all over I heard "I married you for your potential, and it hasn't panned out", yet the crazy bitch did everything in her power to keep me from focusing on success. It was always little things or verbal jabs and later her affairs. The irony is that today, "princess" lives in a trailer ... Uhhh, I don't. I guess some "investments" take a little longer to pan out than others.If the choice is musical pursuit vs. self absorbed insecure girlfriend, choose the former. If she's hot, you'll find another one. Trust me on this, insecure hot chicks totally suck in bed anyway. Go find a caring supportive hot woman who is secure with who she is (generally that happens after you're over 30) and she will rock your world for real. Until then don't waste your time on little girls. If they act like an idiot, kick 'em to the curb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhat Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 So I guess the Rolling Stones only practice three weeks in a year, how does that support your argument again?Since both of my bands rehearse nearly every week of the year we must be way more professional than the rolling stones huh?Max The last time i heard the stones on the tube ,,, they are slipping. Still the worlds greatest rock and roll band due to their long career ... but not the stones of yesteryear. I am a stones fan,,, the beatles never did it for me.. rat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators MrKnobs Posted March 8, 2007 Moderators Share Posted March 8, 2007 I heard a true saying many years ago; "A man marries a woman for who she is; A woman marries a man for who she thinks she can change him in to". JR Doesn't quite capture the complete horror of it. The whole thing goes like this: "A man marries a woman thinking she won't change, a woman marries a man thinking he will change." Usually, both are wrong. Terry D. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pickinatit Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 It's interesting that the thread title is "band interfering with girlfriend" and not the other way around. You beat me to it! Exactly what I was thinking! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TheLuxLife Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 Interestingly enough, the success rate of relationships is higher than the success rate of bands. You decide what you'd like to make a priority. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wades_keys Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 I was in a band for five years - different set every night - and we were seasoned enough that we could wing through a song right on the gig. No rehearsal. Can you play Skynyrd I Know A Little right on the spot, no rehearsal - and get a great crowd response? "I Know a Little" is one hard ass song to get swingin the right way (Steve Gaines era Skynyrd is some intricate stuff) I would call that professional, no question about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ilovemystrat Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 You beat me to it! Exactly what I was thinking! yea, it should be the other way around, shouldn't it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members brassic Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 yea, it should be the other way around, shouldn't it...Maybe his girlfriend is more important to him than his band. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members elsongs Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 If she can't accept you for what you are, she doesn't actually love you. Find someone else who can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lee Flier Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 Wow, a lot of different responses. I like the one about "full time job, full time band, full time girlfriend - pick two." I think in the OP's situation since the 3x a week thing is temporary seeing as they're a new band, it's probably not too hard to deal with this problem. Just tell your girlfriend it's a new band and this schedule won't continue forever, and at the same time nail down some concrete times/dates/plans for you to spend time with her. This last part is important. Don't leave it open ended like "we'll hang out when we can." Let her know it's important to you to schedule time to be with her just like you do with your band. The female drummer thing too - well it's a new situation and it'll take some time for your girlfriend to get used to the idea, that's all. Once she sees that your relationship doesn't change too drastically over time and you're not screwing around with the drummer, she'll probably chill. As "the chick in the band" I've been there a few times. It usually does take wives and girlfriends awhile to settle down and there's some drama in the meantime but it does settle down once they realize their fears are unfounded. As far as having her out to rehearsals... I wouldn't do that, unless it's just one as several people have mentioned, and it's been discussed with the bandmates and they know about it in advance (and they know it's a one time thing). It's not some big "secrecy" thing but I can't stand having outsiders at practice - once one band member starts bringing friends or SO's over for practice others often start doing it and it becomes a party instead of a practice. Plus, part of the fun of being in a band (since some have mentioned, and I agree, that it's supposed to be fun) is the bond you have with your bandmates, and that gets compromised somewhat when there's somebody else there. You wouldn't want somebody else to be around when you're having intimate moments with your mate , and I feel the same way about band practice. Beyond that, how to handle these situations is unique to each person. If you're extremely ambitious, nothing wrong with spending all your time with your band, but in that case you shouldn't have a girlfriend - it isn't fair to her that she commits to a relationship with you and then you spend all your time away from her (not saying this about the OP but just in general). Once in awhile there might be periods of intense activity if you have an important gig coming up or you're in heavy songwriting mode for a few weeks, and most mature people can deal with that. But if you do have a girlfriend and you only spend a couple of nights a week rehearsing and she has a problem with that, then you probably are just with the wrong person. But in general it helps a lot to just keep in touch and let her know when you're rehearsing AND when you can spend time with her. So she doesn't get home from work thinking you MIGHT do something together and THEN get a call saying you're rehearsing. It makes a big difference. If she knows ahead of time she can plan to do something else, and have a definite date with you to look forward to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhat Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 Wow, a lot of different responses. I like the one about "full time job, full time band, full time girlfriend - pick two." I think in the OP's situation since the 3x a week thing is temporary seeing as they're a new band, it's probably not too hard to deal with this problem. Just tell your girlfriend it's a new band and this schedule won't continue forever, and at the same time nail down some concrete times/dates/plans for you to spend time with her. This last part is important. Don't leave it open ended like "we'll hang out when we can." Let her know it's important to you to schedule time to be with her just like you do with your band. The female drummer thing too - well it's a new situation and it'll take some time for your girlfriend to get used to the idea, that's all. Once she sees that your relationship doesn't change too drastically over time and you're not screwing around with the drummer, she'll probably chill. As "the chick in the band" I've been there a few times. It usually does take wives and girlfriends awhile to settle down and there's some drama in the meantime but it does settle down once they realize their fears are unfounded. As far as having her out to rehearsals... I wouldn't do that, unless it's just one as several people have mentioned, and it's been discussed with the bandmates and they know about it in advance (and they know it's a one time thing). It's not some big "secrecy" thing but I can't stand having outsiders at practice - once one band member starts bringing friends or SO's over for practice others often start doing it and it becomes a party instead of a practice. Plus, part of the fun of being in a band (since some have mentioned, and I agree, that it's supposed to be fun) is the bond you have with your bandmates, and that gets compromised somewhat when there's somebody else there. You wouldn't want somebody else to be around when you're having intimate moments with your mate , and I feel the same way about band practice. Beyond that, how to handle these situations is unique to each person. If you're extremely ambitious, nothing wrong with spending all your time with your band, but in that case you shouldn't have a girlfriend - it isn't fair to her that she commits to a relationship with you and then you spend all your time away from her (not saying this about the OP but just in general). Once in awhile there might be periods of intense activity if you have an important gig coming up or you're in heavy songwriting mode for a few weeks, and most mature people can deal with that. But if you do have a girlfriend and you only spend a couple of nights a week rehearsing and she has a problem with that, then you probably are just with the wrong person. But in general it helps a lot to just keep in touch and let her know when you're rehearsing AND when you can spend time with her. So she doesn't get home from work thinking you MIGHT do something together and THEN get a call saying you're rehearsing. It makes a big difference. If she knows ahead of time she can plan to do something else, and have a definite date with you to look forward to. What it comes down to is that non music people just dont get the idea that if you have a female drummer or singer or guitar player or whatever .. thats good and you have a good band. Dating the female drummer is totally not going to happen. Guys can always go out and find some gal to sleep with ,,,, you cant just go out and find another drummer or guitar player. We had a female drummer in 69 and 70..that was pretty well unheard of then.....she was in a band with 6 horny highschool guys who were all serious musicians. Taking the drummer to bed was the last thing that was going to happen. Who in their right mind would lose the best drummer in the area over a case of the horns. I can say this ,, if anyone at a gig would have given her a hard time ,,, they would have been lookin at a major ass whippin ....she was like family She is 54 now and still playing in a band with a bunch of guys... i got in touch with her after years the other day... she has been with the band she has now for 6 years. rat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BlueStrat Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 Doesn't quite capture the complete horror of it. The whole thing goes like this:"A man marries a woman thinking she won't change, a woman marries a man thinking he will change."Usually, both are wrong.Terry D. My dad always said: A man finds a companion. A woman finds a project. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zurich17 Posted March 8, 2007 Members Share Posted March 8, 2007 uh oh. girlfriend giving me a yell down the phone because I don't talk to her enough in the evenings. apparently i spoke to her a lot more when we first started going out. difference being that now I'm in an awesome band, my guitar playing is back up to scratch...back then I got kicked out of a band for being sloppy, barely practiced. She knows that music comes before her, essentially, so why get so anal when I practice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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