Members dirtybart Posted November 2, 2007 Members Share Posted November 2, 2007 one of my bands. ive been thinking about it for a while and i just dont feel it anymore. the bad thing is its at a time when the others feel like they are on the verge of a breakthrough. if you ask me there is no breakthrough. being in this band has completely sapped my creativity. i also feel bad for one member cuz he put alot into it when he joined up. both financially and philosophically. what really gets me is when we had a linup change a while back the guy that did the leaving said "dont trust so-and-so" at first i wrote it off as he was pissed off as i would be giving the situation. and the more i think about it the more i get irritated cuz a few weeks ago i came across a guy that said my band was looking for a guitar player whick i knew about cuz we were talking about getting a second player. this happened 7-8 months ago and no one told me about it. to me i just thought we were on a communication level on everything so im thinking why wasnt i let in on this? there was a thing about getting a bass player too that i saw and dude got pissed off when i asked about it. he was like "after all i do for you guys..." and he let it roll. after i got the story from the other guy he was asked if he plays bass which to me now sounds fishy cuz i found out it was the truth. is this guy feeling guilty or what? not only that ive been left out of a lot of decisions and im finding out about it after the fact. im seriously thinking about leaving more out of principal than anything. am i overreacting here? thanx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members callous Posted November 2, 2007 Members Share Posted November 2, 2007 Your story is confusing. In general, if you don't feel it, then it's time to move on. Simple as that. Give them some notice, so they can replace you seamlessly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dirtybart Posted November 2, 2007 Author Members Share Posted November 2, 2007 Your story is confusing. In general, if you don't feel it, then it's time to move on. Simple as that. Give them some notice, so they can replace you seamlessly. sorry if its confusing...i was thinking about giving them a month. i think that is more than fair. alot of the real problem has been certain peoples lack of control over their drink intake. they think its everyone elses problem that they sound like {censored}. i just feel like they dont care. and if they dont care im not gonna cause its an uphill battle when you feel like the only one who does...sad:cry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators BATCAT Posted November 2, 2007 Moderators Share Posted November 2, 2007 Your story is confusing. In general, if you don't feel it, then it's time to move on. Simple as that. Give them some notice, so they can replace you seamlessly. Agreed. If you haven't been feeling it for a while, aren't feeling it now, and have made a reasonable effort to change things so that more feeling may happen... chances are you're better off moving on. On the upside, quitting a band you're not happy being in can be such a fantastic relief! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members newmaxnew Posted November 2, 2007 Members Share Posted November 2, 2007 I here you. I have the first band practice after some time off from surgery with a band that I really don't feel anymore. I want to sit down with them and see if there is any reason for me to continue. I feel bad because I wrote everything for that band and they will have to start from scratch again. I played guitar, sang and wrote the material. They will be left with a bass player and a drummer only. Max Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dirtybart Posted November 2, 2007 Author Members Share Posted November 2, 2007 Agreed. If you haven't been feeling it for a while, aren't feeling it now, and have made a reasonable effort to change things so that more feeling may happen... chances are you're better off moving on. On the upside, quitting a band you're not happy being in can be such a fantastic relief! i think it is the relief im looking for. the thing here is i really feel i cant trust them. i dont think they know about me talking to the other guitar guy, if they do they arent saying anything. i also talked to one of the guys a while back on the phone and he was bellyaching about having to do the booking ...etc, etc. and i told him that everyone does something. i told him a bring my PA and hook up the stuff every gig without complaint and he laughed at me. i tried doing something to help him sound better and his comment was "its gonna sound like {censored} no matter what anyway..." i threw up my hands and walked off. this guy when hes having a bad nite likes to sit on his amp, when i am im at least standing up. im just tired of him thinking people owe him an ass kissing... surprise i dont do that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rich4Once Posted November 2, 2007 Members Share Posted November 2, 2007 Are you gigging a lot? Is it a situation where you're really going to be leaving them hanging if you bail? That's the ideal time to quit, if indeed they're going behind your back. I'd try and get everything into the open...get everyone together and hash it out. If you can do that, and you still sense some dishonesty, you can jet, PA and all. You can remind them that "nobody {censored}s with DirtyBart" and wish good luck to them replacing you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jacksplatz Posted November 2, 2007 Members Share Posted November 2, 2007 Just got out of a BS sit like this.RUN!!!!!!!!If they are dishonest to 1 player,you could be next.Get out while you can and hang w/players who are matureas people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wades_keys Posted November 2, 2007 Members Share Posted November 2, 2007 i think it is the relief im looking for. the thing here is i really feel i cant trust them. i dont think they know about me talking to the other guitar guy, if they do they arent saying anything. Grow a pair then and ask him straight up what the deal is. What's with all the mamby pamby passive-aggressive bull{censored}? What I'm saying is you need to tell him everything you are saying on here - I bet you're walking on eggshells and not telling them what you know and suspect. If you don't get a straight answer, pack your {censored} and leave, and put together a band full of people that don't hide behind bull{censored} and manipulation. There's no room for bull{censored} or deceit in a band - that just makes things a lot harder than they have to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tim_7string Posted November 3, 2007 Members Share Posted November 3, 2007 Sounds like a no-brainer to me. Comments like "It's going to sound like {censored} anyway" tell me that they don't respect your contribution. Get out. Immediately. And form another band that will be more satisfying. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bunz Posted November 3, 2007 Members Share Posted November 3, 2007 Grow a pair then and ask him straight up what the deal is.What's with all the mamby pamby passive-aggressive bull{censored}? What I'm saying is you need to tell him everything you are saying on here - I bet you're walking on eggshells and not telling them what you know and suspect. If you don't get a straight answer, pack your {censored} and leave, and put together a band full of people that don't hide behind bull{censored} and manipulation.There's no room for bull{censored} or deceit in a band - that just makes things a lot harder than they have to be. you go girl we ain't gotta take that from no man mmhmmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members twostone Posted November 3, 2007 Members Share Posted November 3, 2007 Grow a pair then and ask him straight up what the deal is. What's with all the mamby pamby passive-aggressive bull{censored}? What I'm saying is you need to tell him everything you are saying on here - I bet you're walking on eggshells and not telling them what you know and suspect. If you don't get a straight answer, pack your {censored} and leave, and put together a band full of people that don't hide behind bull{censored} and manipulation. There's no room for bull{censored} or deceit in a band - that just makes things a lot harder than they have to be. Yep growing a pair definitely will change things sad part mine are to big guess that why I've got the biggest balls of them all yep being straight up is the way it should be. I went thru this kinda BS with a guitarist that join "my band". The egotastical little bastard would stab me in the back tried to turn the band against me. Why he pulled this BS was, he wanted to take over my band because I had great musicians then he wanted to fire me and bring in his snotty little band friends. I seen thru the BS and fired his ass even though the other guys got pissed at the moment they got over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WynnD Posted November 3, 2007 Members Share Posted November 3, 2007 I don't like bands that have secret meetings that exclude members. Your band doesn't have to work in secret either and the other members ought to know that. Get the truth or get out. I don't see any other options. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dirtybart Posted November 3, 2007 Author Members Share Posted November 3, 2007 Yep growing a pair definitely will change things sad part mine are to big guess that why I've got the biggest balls of them all yep being straight up is the way it should be. I went thru this kinda BS with a guitarist that join "my band". The egotastical little bastard would stab me in the back tried to turn the band against me. Why he pulled this BS was, he wanted to take over my band because I had great musicians then he wanted to fire me and bring in his snotty little band friends. I seen thru the BS and fired his ass even though the other guys got pissed at the moment they got over it. weve tried doing the whole 'talking it out' thing. the problem with that is i want to tell them when they aint drunk or having been drinking and they never are sober. talking to someone who cant or wont see what the problem is is a waste when you've already tried that approach. last nite i didnt say two words to anyone the whole nite. no one asked what the problem was so they dont care and now that ive laid it out for them im done. i was gonna give them a month but i wont do that now. it is the whole backstabbing thing. they have a heavy schedule and this isnt the first time its happened. one guy in the band has done it to everyone, in fact i have the demos that he got from a drummer that he got when he was pissed at our drummer at the time. it his own ego that destroying this band but he dont care cause everyone is an afterthought to him, to be in a band like that with something like this hanging over me is a drag... its gonna be over sooner than i planned... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WynnD Posted November 3, 2007 Members Share Posted November 3, 2007 Drinking on the job will get you fired in most businesses. I take that to heart and don't drink while gigging. (Don't drink much so it isn't difficult.) I have enough problems driving home tired anyway. (I'm a "morning" person.) I don't understand why bars provide free booze to the bands anyway. I'd rather see an increase in band pay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dirtybart Posted November 3, 2007 Author Members Share Posted November 3, 2007 Drinking on the job will get you fired in most businesses. I take that to heart and don't drink while gigging. (Don't drink much so it isn't difficult.) I have enough problems driving home tired anyway. (I'm a "morning" person.) I don't understand why bars provide free booze to the bands anyway. I'd rather see an increase in band pay. i think im the only one who is professonal about it. now i do want to say that i do drink and this aint a slam towards folks who do, i just know there is a better time and place and for those who cant handle their booze. we played a beer joint last nite and we didnt get anything for free. i drank pepsi the whole nite. yeah i too am a morning person but i have to be cause i got a kid and a family that depends on me and it sucked trying to get up in the morning with a hangover. so i cut back to almost non existing drinking. i just dont do it at the gigs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dirtybart Posted November 3, 2007 Author Members Share Posted November 3, 2007 Are you gigging a lot? Is it a situation where you're really going to be leaving them hanging if you bail? That's the ideal time to quit, if indeed they're going behind your back. I'd try and get everything into the open...get everyone together and hash it out. If you can do that, and you still sense some dishonesty, you can jet, PA and all. You can remind them that "nobody {censored}s with DirtyBart" and wish good luck to them replacing you. or mr. dickerson lol... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members twostone Posted November 3, 2007 Members Share Posted November 3, 2007 weve tried doing the whole 'talking it out' thing. the problem with that is i want to tell them when they aint drunk or having been drinking and they never are sober. talking to someone who cant or wont see what the problem is is a waste when you've already tried that approach. last nite i didnt say two words to anyone the whole nite. no one asked what the problem was so they dont care and now that ive laid it out for them im done. i was gonna give them a month but i wont do that now. it is the whole backstabbing thing. they have a heavy schedule and this isnt the first time its happened. one guy in the band has done it to everyone, in fact i have the demos that he got from a drummer that he got when he was pissed at our drummer at the time. it his own ego that destroying this band but he dont care cause everyone is an afterthought to him, to be in a band like that with something like this hanging over me is a drag... its gonna be over sooner than i planned... okay you quit now repost I just left the band I looking for fill in the blanks_____________ and so on and etc........ :blah: good luck on your next up coming band hopefully you'll bonce right back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dirtybart Posted November 3, 2007 Author Members Share Posted November 3, 2007 okay you quit now repost I just left the band I looking for fill in the blanks_____________ and so on and etc........ :blah: good luck on your next up coming band hopefully you'll bonce right back. haha thats funny... i have no doubt ill bounce back thanx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rich4Once Posted November 3, 2007 Members Share Posted November 3, 2007 or mr. dickerson lol... That's right, Mr. Overturf! You will be treated how you allow yourself to be treated. :phil: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dirtybart Posted November 5, 2007 Author Members Share Posted November 5, 2007 okay you quit now repost I just left the band I looking for fill in the blanks_____________ and so on and etc........ :blah: good luck on your next up coming band hopefully you'll bonce right back. its a done deal. im moving on... thanx for the advice folks... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rich4Once Posted November 5, 2007 Members Share Posted November 5, 2007 At practice this evening, my bass player mentioned the MySpace bulletin they've posted looking for your replacement. I told him I was up to speed on it thanks to your posts here, and he jokingly threatened me if I applied for the position. I assured him that I'm not right for, nor interested in, that job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dirtybart Posted November 5, 2007 Author Members Share Posted November 5, 2007 At practice this evening, my bass player mentioned the MySpace bulletin they've posted looking for your replacement. I told him I was up to speed on it thanks to your posts here, and he jokingly threatened me if I applied for the position. I assured him that I'm not right for, nor interested in, that job. hehe cant say i blame you for not being interested. its has become an unteneble situation. they've already begun their search...and from what i know its been along time going. oh well...im moving on and not looking back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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