Members SpaceNorman Posted April 1, 2009 Members Share Posted April 1, 2009 It's one thing when a bandmates help one another out when somebody needs to skip out on load in/load out (day gig means last minute arrival, kid is in hospital, huge thing at work early next morning, etc.) That stuff happens to everybody - so I don't mind helping depending on the circumstances. However, to allow a band member to simply leave because she doesn't carry would never fly with me. Heck - even if her only contribution is to open the door while the rest of us schlepp stuff - it's still a contribution. That's a situation that I would correct immediately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tlbonehead Posted April 1, 2009 Members Share Posted April 1, 2009 Our variety band has one female singer (along with a male singer who is the leader). All the guys move and set up the equipment including the P.A. I don't expect her to schlep heavy equipment (there are some things most girls just aren't good at). But, when the gig is over.....she bolts. The rest of us are there tearing down and moving the stuff. I think she should at least help with rolling up cables (which would be a big help) and stay to the end when we're finally leaving the venue. Since she basically just has to show up and sing...and then decides to leave right after the gig, why should she get the same amount of $$$$ as the rest of us? I'm thinking if the rest of us make $125, she should only get something like $100 if she's not going to help out. She's an OK singer.....decent, but has a tendency to sing flat some times. If she was exceptional , I would tend to let it slide. Here's something.....the other singer wants to play a freebie at a large outdoor event mainly for the exposure (we mainly play parties and weddings....not in bars) to get gigs. When we were voting on it, she said "I'm OK with it...all I basically have to do is show up for the gig and sing". The singer wants to just not tell her she's getting less...letting her think we're all getting the same amount. Comments? GPF Ya, why the H are you letting her get away with it? Not only does she not even play an instrument, she only sings some of the sings, and not very well, evidently. Even w/o the part about not helping with the real work, she doesn't deserve an equal share. Why is she still in the band? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chicken Monkey Posted April 2, 2009 Members Share Posted April 2, 2009 The female singer in my last group wound cables at the end of the night, when she was done gladhanding the crowd--that was something I had no interest in doing, so better her than me. She'd even haul monitors and stuff out to the station wagon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tlbonehead Posted April 2, 2009 Members Share Posted April 2, 2009 You need to be careful here now. You don't want to create animosity becuase once that seed is sown, it's pretty hard to keep it from growing. A little diplomacy is in order. I'd suggest you come at it from a different angle than "you ain't keeping up your end of the bargain sister!" Appeal to her desire to be "one of the guys" so to speak. Suggest that when she takes off after a gig it kills the "band vibe" and you guys would love it if she'd hang around and shoot the {censored} and so forth and "maybe you can give us a hand packing up too!" Might be sorta transparent but at least it doesn't sound antagonistic. Who knows, maybe she takes off becuase she is sensing a vibe that you guys don't want her around - maybe she thinks shes in the way...I disagree. How debse do you have to be to not know that it is part of your responsibility to do the stuff required to be a gigging band. Obviously she knows she is getting out of what she should be helping with. Other than a few things, most band stuff isn't that heavy. lots of trips out to the hauling vehicles with smaller stuff like mics, stands, guitars, etc. Same with actually tearing down. The vast amount of time is dpent rolling cables and putting stuff away. Nothing that requires a bulked up person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WynnD Posted April 2, 2009 Members Share Posted April 2, 2009 As an occasional occurrence, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. I usually pack in and setup by myself, but at the end of the gig, it's so nice to have help loading out. Most of the women I've gigged with got their hands dirty. Our sax player doesn't, but he has a bad back, one lung and diabetes. (Not kidding, but he's a great musician and fun to work with. ALso doesn't get drunk and shows up on time. He stays until the entire band is loaded up.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zekmoe Posted April 2, 2009 Members Share Posted April 2, 2009 Agreed. Singer issues. Someone who's never owned gear, never looked at gear, read about it, or understands it. It's just been there every time they went to sing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Spacehog26 Posted April 2, 2009 Members Share Posted April 2, 2009 One band I play in, we pretty much trained our wives to do our pack-up for us! We lug amps and lights etc, but all the cables get coiled and put in the right cases, mics and instruments get put away... it's all good. Lead Singer Disease is an evil affliction, and needs immediate treatment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stratman77 Posted April 2, 2009 Members Share Posted April 2, 2009 My wife is the lead singer in our band... Everyone has an assignment.. I am the grunt.. I haul all the big gear.. she handles cables, setting up board.. organizing her keyboards and mic stands.. After the gig .. she gets her mandatory beer and rolls up cords, puts guitars in cases.. etc... If you explained what her role is in the beginning and she has ignored those responsibilities then she needs to be told.. if you have taken an approach of she will help out .. I don't have to tell her.. and she leaves.. then that is your fault:cop:.. Some people literally have to be told and led around by the hand...remember 80% of the world lacks common sense:poke:... she might fall into that category...If you sit her down and explain that if she doesn't help out and contribute then her cut will be reduced...and she still doesn't help out after that:facepalm:... then it is time to find another singer.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tim_7string Posted April 2, 2009 Members Share Posted April 2, 2009 All this. Agree, start out friendly. She may even not be familiar enough with how things go together or come apart and needs to be taught what contributions she CAN make. She may be afraid of breaking something. My band used to have a female singer who, if nothing else, at least hung around and helped carry what she could; guitars, small bags, like pedal/cable bags, watched the stuff already in the vehicles while we went inside for more...etc. She needed direction, especially in the begining, but at least had the where-with-all to ask, "what can I do to help ?" Mine too (back in 2005-2006). I was surprised whenever she would ask to carry some things, like my keyboard stand or my bag o' cords, especially since the band was named after her and she was often still in her sparkly dress! She was definitely a team player and I greatly appreciated that. Even before I started my current band with my girlfriend, she was eager to learn how to set up and tear down my stuff for gigs. She is also eager to figure out how to run the mixer, which is cool. So this way when I'm singing during soundcheck, she can set things for me as I will for her when she's singing. Gender shouldn't matter. Heck, I've been in bands with male lead singers that bolted while the rest of us tore down the equipment for the night. Real divas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jeff42 Posted April 2, 2009 Members Share Posted April 2, 2009 Our variety band has one female singer (along with a male singer who is the leader). All the guys move and set up the equipment including the P.A. I don't expect her to schlep heavy equipment (there are some things most girls just aren't good at). But, when the gig is over.....she bolts. The rest of us are there tearing down and moving the stuff. I think she should at least help with rolling up cables (which would be a big help) and stay to the end when we're finally leaving the venue. Since she basically just has to show up and sing...and then decides to leave right after the gig, why should she get the same amount of $$$$ as the rest of us? I'm thinking if the rest of us make $125, she should only get something like $100 if she's not going to help out. She's an OK singer.....decent, but has a tendency to sing flat some times. If she was exceptional , I would tend to let it slide. Here's something.....the other singer wants to play a freebie at a large outdoor event mainly for the exposure (we mainly play parties and weddings....not in bars) to get gigs. When we were voting on it, she said "I'm OK with it...all I basically have to do is show up for the gig and sing". The singer wants to just not tell her she's getting less...letting her think we're all getting the same amount. Comments? GPF WOW. this sounds like a woman I was in a band with a few years back. If the gig was at 10pm she'd show up at 9:30pm (usually missing sound check) and at 2:05am she was out the door. She also was flat alot and was a terrible frontperson never interacting with the crowd. Be up front with her. tell her you don't expect he to haul the heavy stuff but she can cut time off of your setup by setting up mics and cables and stuff. Same with tearing down. If she says no then say you are getting less pay than the guys that ARE setting up & tearing down. BTW A band I know does this. you get $50 deducted if you don't want to set up or tear down. It's a choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members joel77 Posted April 2, 2009 Members Share Posted April 2, 2009 Most gigs we take setup and tear down money off the top and divide that among those that help. Makes it very simple; you want more money, be there to help. If you can't, or won't, than you make less. Until recently we had two girls in our band. Over time they learned what to do to help. Now we have one girl and she's very helpful. We have more trouble with the drummer taking as long to tear down his drums as it takes the rest of us to tear down the PA. We also have a very strict sound check time. Have your gear set up and ready to go or get your a** chewed!! There is an advantage of having a band leader that's not afraid to speak his mind! I may not always agree with him, but I can't argue with the success of the band. 40 nights already this year. Joel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ToneGrail Posted April 2, 2009 Members Share Posted April 2, 2009 You need to be careful here now. You don't want to create animosity becuase once that seed is sown, it's pretty hard to keep it from growing. A little diplomacy is in order. I'd suggest you come at it from a different angle than "you ain't keeping up your end of the bargain sister!" Appeal to her desire to be "one of the guys" so to speak. Suggest that when she takes off after a gig it kills the "band vibe" and you guys would love it if she'd hang around and shoot the {censored} and so forth and "maybe you can give us a hand packing up too!" Might be sorta transparent but at least it doesn't sound antagonistic. Who knows, maybe she takes off becuase she is sensing a vibe that you guys don't want her around - maybe she thinks shes in the way... I disagree. I think it's better to be upfront, but professional. Pussyfooting around the issue never seems to work, especially when the person gets the idea that sticking around also means packing up the gear. If a person is set on getting out of doing grunt work, then tricking them into it will work.....exactly once. The girls in my band know that it's only a matter of minutes before I start poking them with the proverbial cattle prod if they were to sit around while I was doing all the loading. They know better than to get on my bad side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Z_Zoquis Posted April 2, 2009 Members Share Posted April 2, 2009 Actually, I sorta disagree with myself too. lol. I hadn't read the OP very closely and sorta missed the fact that this singer wasn't the only singer and that she's "OK, but not great." I do think though that the notion that the singer "doesn't even play an instrument" is a bit unfair. I've been in a few bands over the past couple of years and I've come to realize how important the singer is to the bands success. If you don't have a decent singer, you really don't have much of a band. Its an important position. But of course that person needs to do their share of the grunt work too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dessalines Posted April 2, 2009 Members Share Posted April 2, 2009 Well based on the opinions I see here, the consensus seems to be....KILL HER!!!!!!!!:mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members New Trail Posted April 2, 2009 Members Share Posted April 2, 2009 This reminds me of an old joke, like to hear it?, here it goes: How does a female lead singer change a lightbulb? She just holds the bulb up and the whole world revolves around her. But seriously, I would have to deal with this if it happened all the time. Occasionally someone has to leave early, miss set-up, miss tear-down, or whatever, but the OP's singer somehow feels entitled to do it all the time. I would have to settle it, or one of us would have to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Pine Apple Slim Posted April 2, 2009 Members Share Posted April 2, 2009 Agree with the poster who said it just may be plain lazyness, regardless of singer or sex. The laziest bandmate I ever had was a fiddle player. Dude would magically appear as soon as soundcheck started, eveybody would be muttering wheres ***, and all of a sudden there he'd be, sitting over on a monitor tuning his fiddle and flirting with some bar chick. Then disapear in a poof of Irish Leperchan pixie dust just as quickly after the last song. He didnt last long, altho he was a great player. Id be diplomatic and give the gal a chance in a non threating manner, but if things dont improve...not so sure I'd cut her pay, more likely just cut her out altogther. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GuitarPlayerFL Posted April 2, 2009 Author Members Share Posted April 2, 2009 Well based on the opinions I see here, the consensus seems to be.... KILL HER!!!!!!!! :mad: Consider it done!!!! :mad: (Just kidding )All the comments are appreciated...thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mynameistaken Posted April 2, 2009 Members Share Posted April 2, 2009 Every band I have been in pretty much agrees with me when I say "I'll play for free but I get paid to set up and tear down." IMO if she isn't putting in a fair share of the work when setting up and tearing down then she does not deserve the same pay. We have a female singer that always jumps in and starts rolling cables, tearing down mic stands, etc... and is always there until the end with the rest of us; she gets equal pay and respect for that! agree. every band I have been in with a female they have pulled there weight and helped out where they could. she needs to help our take a pay cut! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GreenAsJade Posted April 2, 2009 Members Share Posted April 2, 2009 May be too late, but one thing is that whoever talks to her should do it on the side to start with. No need for her to be embarrased in front of everyone. It could easily be oversight on her part "Oh, it seemed natural that each person packs up their own stuff". She may not even know (yet ) what a PITA packing up is. Pay cut is no good. If you do that, someone else will decide they'd rather forgoe some cash and head home. Where will that end? GaJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members New Trail Posted April 2, 2009 Members Share Posted April 2, 2009 ....Pay cut is no good. If you do that, someone else will decide they'd rather forgoe some cash and head home. Where will that end?GaJ I was in a band once with roadies. I don't remember how much they got paid but eventually 2 or 3 of the band members took over the roady duties for the extra pay. Everyone was happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GreenAsJade Posted April 3, 2009 Members Share Posted April 3, 2009 So - that is a solution - just get the band to agree that x% of the take is for the setup/teardown, and it will be shared amongst those who do it. This only works if x% is worth it even if you are the only bastard left stuck doing it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GuitarPlayerFL Posted April 3, 2009 Author Members Share Posted April 3, 2009 Come to think of it, what if the OP is the only one who's upset? Have all of the other members even discussed it among themselves without her? The male singer/band leader is the one who mentioned it in the first place and then we all pretty much felt the same way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members quicksilvergirl Posted April 3, 2009 Members Share Posted April 3, 2009 I know a lot of people don't want their cables coiled improperly - they end up re-doing it themselves, and I get that. I feel lame that I don't do it the way they want, but I give it a shot. I can't lug super heavy equipment, but I'll set up and tear down what I can and carry whatever load I can handle, even if it takes many more trips than a guy would spending loading in/out. But regardless of my heavy lifting abilities (or lack thereof), I would never dream of leaving until the last person has their gear loaded in their truck and is ready to roll. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cherri Posted April 3, 2009 Members Share Posted April 3, 2009 Don't hand out the loot until the gear is packed up. Make her wait, and ask her to help load out. When I started as a vocalist, I honestly had no idea about setting up and tearing down. Our band leader waited until he was seriously ticked off to speak up. Did he made that expectation clear when he hired me? No, he assumed I knew it already. He didn't know I had never been in a band before. OP - Did you make that expectation clear to your singer when she joined the band? If not, don't get frustrated. Educate her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ForgetMeNacht Posted April 3, 2009 Members Share Posted April 3, 2009 hey I've been with bands where a 5'2" 99 lbs singer helped push roadcases. Of course nothng wrong in helping the little stuff as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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