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Question for those with female band members and play out


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I must ask, did any of you guys asked her to stay and lend some help? Its not some huge unsurmountable problem...99% of people need just a nudge to start helping.

On the other hand, singer in my band helps tearing down even though some stuff in there is more than half her weight...but Im just lucky I guess.

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Another way of handling it was somewhat mentioned earlier. My bass player's old guitar player was/is a prima donna. After the second time of him showing up 5 minutes late to the gig(missing load in of course) the rule of 25% pay load-in,50% gig,25% load-out was put in place. He quit after the next gig.

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My wife, one of the singers and a keyboardist, started to help out a bit more. The keyboards, two, weigh a ton and when I got a "tennis elbow", she jumped in and helped a lot. Only problem is, last gig, she lost one of the speaker mains, so now I'm thinking of going back to the "sit ye down, have a drink and I'll tear down"

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Over time most bands develop an efficiant set-up/tear-down routine. It's easy to let someone slide on he basis of "bad help is worse than no help". So you have to take the initiative and show them what needs to be done. We had a guy who was... less than industrious. We taught him the drill with mikes, cables and stands, and that became his specific job, in & out. He did it well and cheerfuly without being asked again. Also saying things like "The Mons go next" would put him on task. While he didn't take initiative, he was still a good worker when under direction. But he actually wanted to help, and was integrated into the process early. In your case it might be too late to change the situation with your singer without it seeming like an unreasonable demand for extra work to her. Her perspective is "I never knew it was a problem. Nobody ever asked me." Put away past annoyance and talk to her. Could be an explanation of what you expect, or it could just be looking at her after the last song of the night an saying "Put the mikes back in their case and get the cables wound. When you're done, break down those stands and set 'em by the door". If this gets done without whining, remember to give her sincere "Attaboys".

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I must ask, did any of you guys asked her to stay and lend some help? Its not some huge unsurmountable problem...99% of people need just a nudge to start helping.

 

 

We were all busy tearing our personal rigs down at the time....then, all of a sudden, she was gone.

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OP - Did you make that expectation clear to your singer when she joined the band?




I find many singers expect NOT to have to even buy their own microphone. Why is that? That's the tool they need to be in a band. We all have to buy our own instruments and amplifiers.

I don't know why she should ASSUME it's OK to bolt right after the show without even ASKING if we needed help. We are a band....not backup musicians for her to come and go as she pleases.

:) :)

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Our singer doesn't help move anything. But around here the bars own and deal with the PA and microphones and stands, and most of us personally take care of our own gear (if anything gets left behind or falls down some stairs it's our own fault). So there's really nothing for her to do anyway, besides holding the door and watching the cars which she'll do. And she shows up early and leaves late because most of us especially her are big on supporting the other bands we play with (so they'll ask us to play with them again).

Biggest problem we had was a male guitarist dissapearing with his girlfriend while leaving all his stuff at the bar. I don't remember if he at least had it in the car (didn't drive himself). None of us wanted to be an ass and leave it. So we had to bring it to the practice space and drag it up to the third floor without him. He showed up later with dozens of hotwings from his pizza shop. The singers husband ate half of them, but it was his car and he had to carry most of that stuff while the rest of us were busy with our own.

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I find many singers expect NOT to have to even buy their own microphone. Why is that? That's the tool they need to be in a band.
We
all have to buy our own instruments and amplifiers.


I don't know why she should
ASSUME
it's OK to bolt right after the show
without even ASKING if we needed help
. We are a
band
....not backup musicians for her to come and go as she pleases.


:)
:)



Sorry if this has been asked already (I didn't read EVERY post in the thread), but does she, in fact, have her own "instrument"?

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