Members Sir Don Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 I'm pretty sure this topic has been discussed here before so I'll get straight to the point. The band I'm in at the moment is doing very well, plenty of gigs, no hassles or egos among us. However a few days ago I got a call from the bass player asking me if I knew anything about our singer and drummer starting another band. I said no. Apparently what's been going on in the background is they've been recruiting other band member to start another band. I don't know if this means the current band will finish up or not. One of the guitarists that is in line for this band has been coming to our gigs for about the last four weeks, we all know him and I've seen his band a couple of times as well. Another guy at our gig last night I've never seen before. Our bass player tells me he's the bass player for the new band. From what I can gather they haven't had a rehearsal yet so he must've been checking out the drummer and singer. The problem here is that the drummer and singer don't know that the bass player and I know what's going on, so it's just been business as usual. The thing that really annoys me is that this situation is completely disrespectful of me, the bass player and the rhythm guitarist in the current band. We've all been playing for many years, I thought I'd left this type of behaviour behind in my early twenties. I just can't stand this underhanded bull{censored} anymore. Our bass player says just to sit on it at the moment because something will rear it's head soon. I'm not sure about this approach. Any suggestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BlueStrat Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 The new reality is that a lot of us are playing in two or more bands to increase the gigging opportunities. I wouldn't consider it underhanded, and perhaps he was hesitant to tell you about the new project because of the reaction he'd get. Judging by your reaction here. maybe his concerns were justified. Then again, maybe he is being sneaky and underhanded; I don't know him so I can't judge. But I wouldn't get too worked up over your guys being in more than one band. Probably time for a band pow wow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chadd Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 I'd start looking around to replace them in case things go sour. In the meantime, keep putting cash in your pocket from the gigs. Better to be prepared than surprised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members whataracket Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 Yeah, I'd just ask what's going on. They'll either tell you directly, or their body language will tell you if they're not being honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Electric Catfish Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 Has your band agreed to be monogamous, or something? What's the problem? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SpaceNorman Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 Bluestrat's comments about "the new reality" are on the mark. I've learned not to sweat it when bandmates have outside projects. I have outside projects myself. As self declared "part time" musicians - it's not reasonable to expect to a say in what our bandmates do in their free time. I do make clear what I expect in terms of commitment from everybody involved in the current project - and will call out anybody who starts falling short of that commitment. Open and honest communication is key. Dealing with everybody's other projects in an open and drama free manner is critical to making it work for everybody. Done right it can work well for everybody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Wolfgang2049 Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 The fact that it is all behind your back sucks man. Something is up me thinks. Why not just just say there is a side project going on? No big deal right? SpaceNorman is totally right. If there is the same level of commitment, it doesn't really matter. Same with being open an honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gspointer Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 I do not understand peoples inability to communicate. I would ask them if they are looking for folks to start another project, or to find a different band. If the former, no big deal, if the latter, get a time-table for their continued participation and start the hunt for their replacements. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GCDEF Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 Ask them what's up. Personally, I have a real problem with people trying to be in multiple bands, so whatever they say it's probably going to be time to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GreenAsJade Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 Once again Space Norman nails it. And, what's more, it is _not_ always easy to fess up that you have outside projects going on. It's a strange thing where on one hand "what is this? marriage ...hardly" applies ... why _shouldn't_ a person have other projects? And yet on the other hand I know from first-hand experience that it can be awkward, and fell a heck of a lot like you're cheating or something. This is at the heart of the "communication problems" about this sort of thing: fear of what people will say. Thank goodness now if both my bands others have outside projects as well, and it's the sort of thing that gets talked about. One band even came to my other band's gig last week, woo hoo! But don't be suprised if people feel awkward about talking about this sort of thing... it _is_ awkward even when there's no reason for it to be. And if you are feeling possessive of your bandmates, maybe it's time to check where you put that band-marriage certificate ... do you have one or not GaJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GreenAsJade Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 (all this being said, practicalities come into play. I see that RockTheBoss has a solid gig schedule.... one has to wonder how someone thinks that they can be in another band with that level of gigging already in one band. It's one thing to have side projects to keep things moving. It's another to take on more than can reasonably be expect. Nothing is easy, eh? :S ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members New Trail Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 It's true that a lot of people play in multiple bands these days. Maybe we shouldn't think of bands as marriages anymore but open marriages! Anyway, the other members of the OP's band should have been more open about what they were doing, and the problem is that the OP found out about the new band members. Now that the OP knows about this, he can't NOT know about it, so he should deal with it. Just ask the other band members what is going on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jeff42 Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 just talk about it. that's all. if they are doing a side project/ 2nd band thing. fine, no biggie but communication is key. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ForgetMeNacht Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 I do two bands myself. Hell, just about everyone I play with has some project going on. My only concern, if I was in your situation, is the under the radar business. I'd just ask what's going on but in a non confrontational manner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pjrake Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 I'm pretty sure this topic has been discussed here before so I'll get straight to the point. The band I'm in at the moment is doing very well, plenty of gigs, no hassles or egos among us. However a few days ago I got a call from the bass player asking me if I knew anything about our singer and drummer starting another band. I said no. Apparently what's been going on in the background is they've been recruiting other band member to start another band. I don't know if this means the current band will finish up or not. One of the guitarists that is in line for this band has been coming to our gigs for about the last four weeks, we all know him and I've seen his band a couple of times as well. Another guy at our gig last night I've never seen before. Our bass player tells me he's the bass player for the new band. From what I can gather they haven't had a rehearsal yet so he must've been checking out the drummer and singer. The problem here is that the drummer and singer don't know that the bass player and I know what's going on, so it's just been business as usual. The thing that really annoys me is that this situation is completely disrespectful of me, the bass player and the rhythm guitarist in the current band. We've all been playing for many years, I thought I'd left this type of behaviour behind in my early twenties. I just can't stand this underhanded bull{censored} anymore. Our bass player says just to sit on it at the moment because something will rear it's head soon. I'm not sure about this approach. Any suggestions? it's time to confront the situation and let them know how you feel about it. sitting on it might make the situation worse, cause you'll just get angrier the longer is goes on. maybe they just wanna do a side project and the band you guys are in now is really their top priority. just assuming here, but it's best to get it out in the open. -PJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members whataracket Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 I had the impression the OP's concern was that the others in the band were lining up players to replace him and the bass player, as opposed to a true second band. If the new players are scouting the gigs and learning the same material, I'd have the same impression. Sometimes "side project" is a cover for moving people out rather than just confronting an issue. On the multiple band membership thing ... I and the guys I've played with have been in more than one performing band at the same time, and, while everyone has a right to try to do it, I have had three major ongoing frustrations with it: 1) The repertoire you have to keep current gets overwhelming as a front man (hundreds of songs). 2) Gig availability. We often have had to turn down gigs or try to work with a sub because people have other gigs. 3) It puts way more burden on the front man/team to put new material together and get everything ready so you can bring in the guys (usually the rhythm section guys and side men like sax or harp) who have effectively become hired guns. The guy who is in three other bands can take or leave whether the band you are fronting moves forward or stagnates. All he wants is the gigs. It can work, but the amount of work gets demoralizing after a while to the point where we (the front team in one case) or I just said "screw it, we're doing duo and solo gigs" - the pay is better anyway. Then the other guys wonder "what happened?" When I've explained it, they say, "that's the new reality," and I say, "learn to live with it." The bass player and I really argued about it once, and I basically said you have to be damn good as a player to make up for being no help to me as a band leader, and, while I love you like a brother, you're not THAT good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wades_keys Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 I had the impression the OP's concern was that the others in the band were lining up players to replace him and the bass player, as opposed to a true second band. If the new players are scouting the gigs and learning the same material, I'd have the same impression. I'd be thinking the same thing too, in these circumstances. But the first thing I'd do is call these guys out, respectfully but firmly. You know what they say about assumptions.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tinker925 Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 I am in a gigging Cover project - and wanted to start a more serious Tribute project. We let the other members know - and told them if they would like to try out - we would welcome that. It seriously PISSED OFF our back up guitarist that she would have to try out(who I am sorry but is a crappy musician. mis-uses her distortion and wants her distorted guitar out on front- even over the drums - making it very difficult for me as the lead singer and is she had it her way she would be singing lead even though she cannot hold a tune) She has zero desire to take directions from the lead guitarist whom is a serious talent and thinks she is a fine musician. She is an attorney by day - so she comes to the table with a lot of pretense and ego, again even though she sucks as a musician. While thats dealable with the Cover tune project it is not for a more serious Tribute project. SO SHE FIRED the two of us that are starting the Cover project.... and asked the rest of the band to come with her. They are going with music quality and this is now backfiring on her. HERE IS THE POINT THOUGH - had she come talk to us.... we may have had a few conditions for her (which I am sure she would be offended) but we may have considered her for the Tribute project. We told her we had no desire of stopping the Cover project and when we tried to open up and talk to her about it she said I am not discussing in "period". What a putz! Talk to them and find out why they dont want to take you with them..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SteinbergerHack Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 Having multiple gigs is not necessarily a problem. Right now, I'm playing in a band and also doing some community theater work (and will probably do some church stuff as we get closer to Christmas). As long as there is an agreed set of rules about setting dates (i.e., you let everyone know as soon as you accept a gig, so that you don't get double-booked), I don't see it a a big deal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sir Don Posted October 24, 2009 Author Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 I appreciate all the comments here and I know it's not an easy situation to be in but why the hell should I, having learnt about this situation through a third party, have to approach the said band members about the situation? Alot of people here have said that being in multiple bands can work, my experience in the past indicates otherwise. I don't think you can serve two masters. We all work full time so rehearsing for another band would be very time consuming which kind of means to me that there will not be two bands, just one. One of the real disappointments for me is that we got together, rehearsed twice a week for seven months before our first gig, had photos taken, backdrop made, demo recording made, all get along well together and now, less than two years after starting out, it looks like there could be a significant change. Two years in a band is pathetic in my opinion, you've only just got things together in that time and are starting to get a name and some kind of recognition with promoters. I guess I'll just hang in there and see what happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dk123123dk Posted October 24, 2009 Members Share Posted October 24, 2009 Talk to them about it. CALMLY. dk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BlueStrat Posted October 25, 2009 Members Share Posted October 25, 2009 I appreciate all the comments here and I know it's not an easy situation to be in but why the hell should I, having learnt about this situation through a third party, have to approach the said band members about the situation?Because you're the one with your undies in a wad. If you like that feeling, then do nothing. Alot of people here have said that being in multiple bands can work, my experience in the past indicates otherwise.Well, that's you. If it's a problem for you, you probably need to find another band who thinks the same way you do. Obviously, the guys you're with now don't. I don't think you can serve two masters.If a band is your master, maybe you're too emotionally invested in it. Just sayin'. We all work full time so rehearsing for another band would be very time consuming which kind of means to me that there will not be two bands, just one.Apparently the other guys are finding a way to make it work. I guess I'll just hang in there and see what happens.That's probably wise, unless you're waiting to see if they change their mind. Look, I don't know you so take what I say with a grain of salt, but you seem to be a little on the passive/aggressive side. You want other people to behave in a way that is good for you, but you don't want to discuss it with them. You seem to be really into this band, and you seem to be holding these guys accountable for your feelings when you have not made them known. Maybe the reaction you're having here is the very reason none of them want to bring it to you for discussion. Again, just sayin'. If I'm wrong, well...disregard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sir Don Posted October 25, 2009 Author Members Share Posted October 25, 2009 I've always been very passionate about playing music, not as much now as I was twenty years ago, but I do expect people to deal with each other in a level headed way and with respect. I'll be talking to the bass player later on tonight, see if he's heard anything else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members fling the poo Posted October 25, 2009 Members Share Posted October 25, 2009 tonite our band has a show with 3 other bands. two of those bands our drummer is playing in. next week we hit gainesville fest. i am in 3 bands at this fest. one of the bands is me and the bass player from one band but i switch to bass and he switches to guitar. the songwriting duties switch as well i am in multiple bands that tour, put out records and play shows. i'd say as a result all of the bands get better and better. there's rarely if ever, any bad blood. it doesnt work for everyone i know, but if you stagger practices and release schedules and songwriting duties the results are going to be positive. but theres no reason to hide the fact from anyone. thats just plain dishonest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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