Members DIEZELPOWER77 Posted March 8, 2010 Members Share Posted March 8, 2010 I will always be into music, and always play in some form or fashion(just the acoutic guitar right now). But my question is: When is it time to give up the dream? My Story(short version): I started playing piano when I was 8yrs old, and always had a knack for learning by ear. Even before I took lessons, I taught myself to play the "Graduation song". Then I started playing guitar when I was 13, and was a great rhythm guitarist. I went to Berklee School of Music for their Summer Performance Program in "95, and did surprisingly well. Switched to bass when I was 15 cause they're hard to come by. I didn't wanna switch cause of all the typical stereotypes of playing bass, but I learned how to make it my own "animal". I actually became really good, and me and the other guitarist formed a band. We played a few shows, and by luck, got signed to Ghostface Killah's(Wu-Tang Clan) new label, Starks Enterprises. We were also to be on an independent film's soundtrack(Bully) as the main track. Unfortunately, there was animosity in the band, and we split due to "musical differences". After that drama, I was gonna hang it up. Several years later, I had a friend get me back into playing. I've had mixed feelings about what I wanna do, but I really enjoy playing, and the possibility of playing in a band again. I was also thinking that I was just reluctant to try because of my history with the previous band. I would love to play bass in a band/group again. I look at the online videos for Musician's Institute, and feel I could "ace" through alot of'em, with some effort. But this is how I look at it now. I'm 32yrs old, newly married, unemployed, and possibly starting a family. Plus, I feel like the music scene in my area is not where I need to be to push on. Maybe I'm just defeating myself,or maybe it's time. Hoping you all can give me some insight? Thank You fellow musicians. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhat Posted March 8, 2010 Members Share Posted March 8, 2010 I think i would focus on getting a day job to meet the responsiblity of the family thing. then do music on your own terms with people who are in your same situation. You are at that age,,, so step up to the plate. Family comes first Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kmart Posted March 8, 2010 Members Share Posted March 8, 2010 I will always be into music, and always play in some form or fashion(just the acoutic guitar right now). But my question is: When is it time to give up the dream? Maybe I'm just defeating myself... You are defeating yourself unless/until you recognize you need to adjust the dream. If you're hellbent/set on some sort of major label deal and super rockstar fame and fortune...go for it. But the realities are:1) You're probably too old alreadyand2) The major label big time deal doesn't exist anymore anyway. I used to think I wanted the big superstar deal myself. If someone put me in that situation right now, I certainly wouldn't pass it up, but I've continued to adjust my goals as I got older to reflect the reality of what I COULD possibly achieve. I fought the fight for that for years, and in that time I've passed on independent deals that would have shafted my band, a guaranteed spot in a band signed to a minor label (Lookout!) with one of my favorite guitarists (a former bandmate) because I'd have gone into even further debt right off the bat, etc. I made all those decisions because they were the right ones at the time. As I got older, I re-assessed my goals, and came to the following realization: what I want, more than anything, is to play. I can do that now, and that's all I need to remember: I do 'this' because I enjoy doing it, not because there are 5000 people in front of me as opposed to 500 or 50, and not because I took home $10k or $1000 or $100. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dk123123dk Posted March 8, 2010 Members Share Posted March 8, 2010 I will play music until the day I die. dk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TrickyBoy Posted March 8, 2010 Members Share Posted March 8, 2010 You are defeating yourself unless/until you recognize you need to adjust the dream. If you're hellbent/set on some sort of major label deal and super rockstar fame and fortune...go for it. But the realities are: 1) You're probably too old already and 2) The major label big time deal doesn't exist anymore anyway. I used to think I wanted the big superstar deal myself. If someone put me in that situation right now, I certainly wouldn't pass it up, but I've continued to adjust my goals as I got older to reflect the reality of what I COULD possibly achieve. I fought the fight for that for years, and in that time I've passed on independent deals that would have shafted my band, a guaranteed spot in a band signed to a minor label (Lookout!) with one of my favorite guitarists (a former bandmate) because I'd have gone into even further debt right off the bat, etc. I made all those decisions because they were the right ones at the time. As I got older, I re-assessed my goals, and came to the following realization: what I want, more than anything, is to play. I can do that now, and that's all I need to remember: I do 'this' because I enjoy doing it, not because there are 5000 people in front of me as opposed to 500 or 50, and not because I took home $10k or $1000 or $100. +1 It's amazing how much satisfaction I get at the age of 38 doing this. I wouldn't give it up for the world. That being said, I have the wife/kid/job. In a way it's liberating, because you get yourself set financially and you get to play music on your terms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 3shiftgtr Posted March 8, 2010 Members Share Posted March 8, 2010 Leading an artistic lifestyle doesn't mean you have to be tied to the fame thing. You can be a relevant ARTIST (not rockstar) and lead a normal lifestyle. Thurs night I cut some skronk/noize guitar on some hip hop tracks for a signed artist. That was a blast. Fri was a killer gig with one of my orig. instrumental projects. Sat was a western swing rehearsal (??) that was strangely satisfying, Sat night was a cover gig (ho hum), Sun. a.m. was a church gig (ho hum for Jesus), and Sun night was the western swing gig (Awwwhaw!). All paid (including the rehearsal). Last week I got a check in the mail for some buy out music I sold, all the work this weekend was paid, and after teaching today, I'm finishing up a demo track for a label. It is all under the industry's fame radar, but it is all creative and fun and artistically satisfying. I see my family every day and give them the attention they need for me to consider myself a good husband and father. And I spend my days making and/or teaching music. I have some musical 'day job' stuff (teaching), but I have released projects (that have done o.k.) and consider myself on the path of an artist. My focus is on the music I want to make. You the stereotype of the artist as a rockstar or dumpsterdiver waiting on his/her chance at being a rockstar is a sham. Pure bovine scatology. You can lead an artistic lifestyle and still be a normal person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RupertB Posted March 8, 2010 Members Share Posted March 8, 2010 +1 on both kmart's & 3shftgtr's posts. Pinning your future on the "Music Biz Lottery" is a fool's errand. The good news is that the internet & modern recording apps give you an unprecedented level of access to an audience. There are plenty of opportunities to keep your hand in music and, if you're very good & work hard, maybe even make a decent living. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members toneforhire Posted March 8, 2010 Members Share Posted March 8, 2010 I dont know you or your abilities so dont get offended but I would lower my expectations to meet reality...at 32, chances are that hitting the big time and becoming a rock star are over... I would concentrate on a day job, and becoming a husband/father, and keep your music as a side thing...play gigs, play in bands, maybe even a little session work... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DIEZELPOWER77 Posted March 8, 2010 Author Members Share Posted March 8, 2010 I do agree with the fact on concentrating on my family(not a father yet-she's not pregnant), and getting employed. And I do agree with how the music industry has changed, especially about "making it". Although it would be nice, I'm not looking to be a "rockstar", and maybe that's how it's coming off as. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DIEZELPOWER77 Posted March 8, 2010 Author Members Share Posted March 8, 2010 I guess I'm just frustrated cause any time I try to form something, I'm expected to be playing southern rock or country, due to finding out my age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GuitarPlayerFL Posted March 8, 2010 Members Share Posted March 8, 2010 Technical virtuosos are a dime a dozen. A great songwriter is rare and there is no age limit on writing great songs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pickinatit Posted March 8, 2010 Members Share Posted March 8, 2010 I think i would focus on getting a day job to meet the responsiblity of the family thing. then do music on your own terms with people who are in your same situation. You are at that age,,, so step up to the plate. Family comes first :poke:No, In the O.P.'s case a J..O..B has to come first. I can't believe he used "Unemployed" and "ready to start a family" in the same sentence!!! (just to be clear, it's the O.P. I'm ribbing here, not you Rhat.) Seriously though (O.P.) there's nothing wrong with playing music as a part time thing or even fulltime if your wife is willing to give you that opportunity. With her cooperation you might still be able to pull it off (following your dream I mean), but you need to do it NOW, before any children come along. Once that happens, if you haven't already made it...well, it's going to get more and more impossible to follow your dream. Sit down and talk it out with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DIEZELPOWER77 Posted March 8, 2010 Author Members Share Posted March 8, 2010 I can't believe he used "Unemployed" and "ready to start a family" in the same sentence!!! Well, there are variables/specifics in my relationship with my wife and I that I didnt feel the need to share. I was more trying to have the idea of my age, the scene around me, and the "musical" part to be the focal point of the conversation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Remedy Posted March 8, 2010 Members Share Posted March 8, 2010 What do you want to do musically? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jimiv Posted March 9, 2010 Members Share Posted March 9, 2010 A great songwriter is rare and there is no age limit on writing great songs. THIS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 3shiftgtr Posted March 9, 2010 Members Share Posted March 9, 2010 What do you want to do musically? This!^^^^ This is your chance to decide what you want to do musically. Eff the ageism crap. That is the politics of the weak. Make your musical life now all about your ART. YOUR art. Don't worry about anything else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chevybusa Posted March 9, 2010 Members Share Posted March 9, 2010 I could be way off here, but just from reading what you wrote it seems that you're a lot like me in that you love music but can't stand dealing with all the bull{censored} and nonsense that can come with being in a band and gigging and dealing with other musos and "the business". If I were you I'd get a computer and a DAW and just start playing and writing and recording. In my late teens and early 20's I played out regularly with quite a few different bands (though never had anywhere near the success you did) and I finally got to the point where I simply couldn't deal with all the aforementioned BS. Ever since I've just been writing and recording and playing at home with the gear in my sig and I've never been happier musically. I'd say it's a great starting point to help flush out what you really want and enjoy musically. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ides of March Posted March 9, 2010 Members Share Posted March 9, 2010 Never give up, if your dream is to play than play. I have been in bands, and played around Philly, and then my daughter was born and I stopped. Didn't stop playing just stopped the band thing. I played open mic's and wrote on acoustic for awhile. Now my daughter is 2 and I am not in a band anymore, and for some reason get asked all the time to join one and it never pans out, but practice every night learning new songs and singing at an open mic and that is good enough for me. I am 36 and fame and fortune through this is not a possiblility anymore, and that's fine with me. I just like being on stage and playing, I have a job, a wife and 2 kids and this is my other love and it's always been there and always will. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DIEZELPOWER77 Posted March 9, 2010 Author Members Share Posted March 9, 2010 Thank you all for your advice. I guess I was just lost my way with music. After hearing everything you all had to say, I know what I should be doing from now on. Thank you again, you have helped me so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pjrake Posted March 9, 2010 Members Share Posted March 9, 2010 Technical virtuosos are a dime a dozen. A great songwriter is rare and there is no age limit on writing great songs. sig worthy! -PJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members germs Posted March 10, 2010 Members Share Posted March 10, 2010 personally, i had 2 (read: TWO!!!!) FAILED debut albums on a major and independent national subsidiary by the time i was 25. hows that for a sign? so after heading home with my tail between my legs, i focused on salvaging my marriage and relationship with my daughter. sometimes it just isn't meant to be. BUT that doesn't mean you can't do it on your own terms. i'm just focused on making good music right now, while working full time and doing the family thing. i've got a good band right now, and we're finishing up our debut EP. no plans to tour - that's for suckers and kids in this economy. and IF we happen to be in the right place at the right time, great! but i'm not putting all my eggs in one basket anymore. and there's NOTHING wrong with picking up a cover band gig to help pay the bills and sock money away (for gear!) once times get better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MDLMUSIC Posted March 10, 2010 Members Share Posted March 10, 2010 I turned 57 today. I have a well-paying day job, but still gig regularly at local clubs and Moose lodges. I'm pretty sure I'll never be a "rock star", but in my area I am well known and respected for what I do. When I hire other musicians to do gigs with me they often tell me that when somebody asks where they're playing and they say they have a gig with me, the response is usually very positive. When I'm out and about in the community I invariably meet someone who has seen me perform and wants to let me know how much they enjoyed themselves. Really, what more could you ask out of this business? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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