A second hand groupie story....kinda funny, but no biggie really. So I get asked to play with a band of weekend warriors who just aren't that good. I'm fine with it cuz they are good dudes, I'm just filling in and the pay is good! The other guitar player is a great guy with hams for fingers, but he is older (early 50's), about 5'6, has long hair, wears a SRV hat, and makes "I have gas" faces when he plays, and never hesitates to go out into the crowd and play his solos. Crowd digs the little guy. And he's recently divorced. Turns out he has been hooking up with a gorgeous, tall, leggy waitress from one of the places they play, who is about 5'11. And she is at the Sat night of the show I'm playing at. She is wearing a skin tight tank top with a 'schoolgirl', top of the thigh skirt. As she dances, her skirt climbs up as does her panties to reveal her gorgeous little booty. We were all laughing about it and the guitar player could have given a {censored}. He is happy as {censored} to be an old man banging a 22 year old, even if she is slutty. And she was digging the attention. So at our table during a break, jokingly I offer to be her underwear valet....you know, if I see her skirt and panties riding up on the dance floor, I would be glad to pull the undies out of her butt and help pull her skirt down to 'acceptable levels'. Playing the ditzy flirt, she says: "Would you? That'd be so sweet." And we have a laugh and we let it go. BUT.... On the way up to the stage for the next set, I tell the guitar player, "I wonder what she'd do if I really did that?" "She'd love it. She loves the attention, if you can't tell." "Would you be pissed?" I say. "{censored} no. It'll be funny as {censored}. And she'll let you do it. She's {censored}ing crazy." he says. So during the dance stuff, up it rides...so out I go, with my guitar on. With everybody looking, I tap her on the shoulder, and give her the circular "turn around" finger. She looks kinda confused. So I bend down, take both fingers and run my hand along the seams of her panties, pulling them out of her crack. I then tug down on her skirt a bit, you know, "to acceptable levels". pat her on the head, and return to the stage. The crowd is cracking up, as are the guys on the stage. And chick is LOVING the attention. And this happens three more times before the night is over. Each time I go out there, I play up the "exasperated guy", you know, having the burden of keeping her undies in tact. And each time, she plays it up. The last time I did it, she stuck her ass out as I dropped to one knee behind her, I flipped up the skirt, pulled the panties out, actually tried to "tuck" her butt cheeks in (you know, like they won't go in), flipped the skirt down, returned the skirt to "acceptable levels", gave her ass a little pat and returned to the stage. Every one was cracking up. The owner asked the bandleader to in the future refrain from that stuff, but he wasn't pissed. After tear down, we were all hanging out {censored} loaded, and girlie was waiting for her man. I thanked her for being such a good sport, and she laughed and blathered some {censored} about her undies. I winked at SRV and told her I should get the pair she was wearing as a momento. She pulled them off right then, and stuffed them in front of my pants, and says.... "Take THOSE home to your wife." We could not stop laughing for 20 minutes. As we were leaving I give her a big hug and call her the coolest chick evr, knowing my bud was going to hammer that ass when he got home. Good times.