Moderators MrKnobs Posted March 20, 2006 Moderators Share Posted March 20, 2006 Originally posted by brikus oh yeah...I'd play the young Mr Knobs who bangs the groupies. OLD MrKnobs has been getting some (attempted) action lately too! At Saturday night's show I had some drunk freaky woman hanging on me trying to kiss me. I unloaded her on Pebblestar and that was quite a show. I guess she didn't have a strong gender preference.... At last night's show something similar happened. Another inebriated girl, another incident. I think this one was mostly interested in Pebblestar, but as I was loading gear into my truck she was getting all gushy and huggy with me which I had to put a stop to since my wife was standing several feet away. The wife showed up separately and unexpectedly so I don't think this girl knew we were together. Anyway, she's all over both Pebble and me and my wife is standing with her arms folded amused at my discomfort. I'm looking for an escape hatch as the girl is talking nonstop and suddenly she gives it to me. She starts complimenting me on my new Toyota Truck and and I slip in "Talk to her about it while I'm loading, it's her truck too." The girl's face gets slightly less dim and she says, "Oh, you're his wife..." and starts stammering out assorted random combinations of denials, excuses, and apologies which coalesce into she's really just interested in Pebble which is the truth anyway. I finish loading and get in the truck. Pebble asks me if I think she should bag the chick and I shrug, "Why not, you're young and single." Pebble says, "Your wife told me it's a bad idea." In full earshot of my wife, I reply, "My wife doesn't remember being young, and she's way too conservative to know how to have a good time. I say, go for it. It might be good or bad, but either way it'll be an adventure. Try to nail her before the puking starts." I have no idea whether she did or not, I caught one last glance at them in my side mirror embracing on the sidewalk in front of Darwin's. I suspect you'll hear about it when Pebble shows up here next time. Terry D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vanlatte Posted March 20, 2006 Members Share Posted March 20, 2006 Originally posted by MrKnobs At last night's show something similar happened. Another inebriated girl, another incident. I think this one was mostly interested in Pebblestar, but as I was loading gear into my truck she was getting all gushy and huggy with me which I had to put a stop to since my wife was standing several feet away. Which begs the question; what if your wife was not standing several feet away? Originally posted by MrKnobs Pebble says, "Your wife told me it's a bad idea." In full earshot of my wife, I reply, "My wife doesn't remember being young, and she's way too conservative to know how to have a good time. Terry D. I know the feeling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BeauNasty Posted March 21, 2006 Members Share Posted March 21, 2006 Managing a bar with bands doesn't hurt my game any either. I had one hell of a hot chick on my tail this past Saturday night. Her buddies took a bunch of pics, so I'll share when I get them via e-mail. YES...they are CLEAN pics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rich4Once Posted March 21, 2006 Members Share Posted March 21, 2006 Originally posted by brikus How would you dare abuse disabled people ??? When on earth did you get THAT idea? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators MrKnobs Posted March 21, 2006 Moderators Share Posted March 21, 2006 Originally posted by vanlatte Which begs the question; what if your wife was not standing several feet away? I know the feeling. Then it would have been like the night before, when she was NOT there and some drunk chick was all over me and had to be scraped off. Meaning it made no difference that my wife was there Sunday night, other than I had to find a way to let the Sunday night chick know ASAP before she embarassed herself too much. At my age, I'm not terribly attracted to strange drunk chicks making fools of themselves at a club, no matter how attractive they are. Terry D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ThumpThumpTwang Posted March 21, 2006 Members Share Posted March 21, 2006 Location: Bitching lol. I didn't notice that before. Now I know I gotta visit that place.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members brikus Posted March 21, 2006 Author Members Share Posted March 21, 2006 Originally posted by MrKnobs I suspect you'll hear about it when Pebble shows up here next time. Terry D. And I hope there'll be pics !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BeauNasty Posted March 21, 2006 Members Share Posted March 21, 2006 Originally posted by MrKnobs I'm not terribly attracted to strange drunk chicks making fools of themselves at a club, no matter how attractive they are. Amen, brother! But I'd still {censored} 'em! Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members squealie Posted March 21, 2006 Members Share Posted March 21, 2006 Originally posted by BeauNasty YES...they are CLEAN pics. puss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators MrKnobs Posted March 22, 2006 Moderators Share Posted March 22, 2006 Originally posted by BeauNasty Amen, brother! But I'd still {censored} 'em! Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha! And that, ladies and gentlemen, is rock 'n roll. Terry D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pebblestar Posted March 22, 2006 Members Share Posted March 22, 2006 Originally posted by MrKnobs And that, ladies and gentlemen, is rock 'n roll. Terry D. CHAPTER ONE: SXSW is over. "Hallelujah! Oh Happy Day! I have my city back!" No more SXSW! This weekend though was all about the age old question of how much liquor does it take a for a straight woman to become gay? Whatever this magical # of alcohol content in the blood stream, apparently for some women, she becomes bisexual. It's true - or at least in the case of Glenda the Good Bitch and Chlamydia Johnson. (Names have been changed to protect the incredibly drunk). Saturday night, Glenda had apparently had enough alcohol inside of her system to not only hit on me but on every member of my band - BEFORE WE EVEN PLAYED. Seriously not more than 10 minutes had gone by after we'd stepped in the door. She went up to me, Knobs and our bass player and asked each of us to dance. After we set up everything, Glenda comes up to give me a hug on stage (I hadn't realized yet that she had down the same thing to Knobs). She lip-locks herself to my neck and mutters something about me being sooo beautiful and sooo cool and blah blah blah blah....apparently with x.x amount of alcohol in the blood stream do they become gay but they also draw out the word, "sooooo" a lot. Thirty seconds into the first song though she left with random stranger #12 in the club. ----- Sunday night, Chlamydia Johnson came into my life. Now, Chlamydia came up to me after the set to fling herself on me, give me a delicate kiss on the cheek and tell me how awesome we sounded. I noticed that Chlamydia was hanging out with Bob - our newest band groupie. Bob's the kinda guy that thinks that he's a promoter and can easily get you into any club. Nevermind the fact that Bob still lives with his dad, has no car and only drives a bike due to a minor accident that happened a year ago involving a DWI, his car and a cop. Bob just likes hanging out with "the band". When Knobs, Mrs. Knobs and Joe the bassist were unloading into the Knob's truck, Chlamydia Johnson was outside trying to score with any random member of the band. She flung herself on Knobs whispering whatever nothings into his ear until his wife appeared. Then when she found out Mrs Knobs was his wife, she flung herself onto Mrs. Knobs as well (amidst throngs of laughter from me and Mr Knobs) and told her what a great husband she has, etc. At this point, I did turn to Knobs and Mrs. Knobs and ask, "I don't know man, should I do it? I mean it is easier than a cakewalk." And I fully intended to... ...until... Now Chlamydia is an Amazonian type woman. Not neccessarily fat, but tall and somewhat stout. Outside after the Knobs' truck had left, she pulls me aside from everyone and tells me that I'm not a good singer. "No, wait. You're a great singer but you don't have a voice. No, you have a voice but you're not using it. You're not giving it your all. You know like (grunts at me). I'm a singer and I know how you should be singing from here..." At this point, Amazon Chlamydia Johnson grabs me by my diaphragm and lifts me an inch off of the ground. Despite what you boys may think about my womanly preferences, a woman that can lift me off the ground is NOT my favorite choice. After the Giant puts me back down on the ground, she kind of caresses by back and face. Do you remember that Warner Bros. cartoon about the Sasquatch that picks up Bugs Bunny and says, "I will stroke him, I will love him, I will call him George". That's how I felt at that very moment. Sasquatch Johnson then tells me that she's "strictly dickly" but that the drunker she gets the gayer she gets. I think what were compliments were drunkely muttered into my ear as she seductively bit my cheek (I think she thought she was kissing my lips). Then she manhandles me against the wall and makes out with me, much to the delight of 4 or 5 frat boys outside the club smoking. At this point, I was still thinking of going home with this one. It's what she did afterwards that changed my mind. PS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pebblestar Posted March 22, 2006 Members Share Posted March 22, 2006 (I'm posting in chapters because its such a long story for one post) Chapter 2: Chlamydia Johnson and I went back inside the bar to finish our drinks, which were sitting by Bob at the bar. Bob was also taking advantage of the Amazonian Attention Whore that night too. After only finishing two half-beers (Chlamydia picked up my beer twice and swigged half of it down in one gulp), I was ready to freaking leave. But Chlamydia had one more thing to tell me outside where "no one else could hear" (except of course for the three homeless bums and 4 or 5 frat boys outside). So she takes me outside, now by this point I'm finding most of her conversation trite and hard to comprehend since she's speaking in drunk speak. But a few key words caught my attention at one point - words like "STD", "pregnant" and "on nights like this". It turns out that sometime last year, Chlamydia "on a night like this" went home with some dude, ended up "pregnant" and turns out the same bastard gave her "Chlamydia". Danger, Will Robinson, Danger. As all three of us are leaving the bar, Bob whispers to me "Dude, are you taking that?" I said, "Uh...no. Why? Do you you want it? Cause you know she just told me she has Chlamydia and do you realize she's making out with a homeless man on the street right now?" (with me pointing in that direction.) Bob says to me sheepishly, "Well it's been awhile for me." So we're walking down 6th street to my car. I'm trying to leave Chlamydia behind but as it turns out, I get to be Bob's ride home tonight - which means I'm also Chlamydia's ride as well. Picture me walking hurriedly trying to get out of the rain, while Bob the Groupie is trying to lead Chlamydia Johnson out of the middle of the street as she was twirling in the rain, only momentarily stopping to kiss the random strangers in the street on the mouth. Finally we stop a block away from my car and run inside of this t-shirt shop on 6th. While Chlamydia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pebblestar Posted March 22, 2006 Members Share Posted March 22, 2006 Chapter 3: Ever had to deal with a drunk person trying to play around with you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators MrKnobs Posted March 22, 2006 Moderators Share Posted March 22, 2006 Originally posted by pebblestar Me, I spent the night alone with my cats and could not have been any happier. And ladies and gentlemen, THAT is rock n Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members elbow Posted March 22, 2006 Members Share Posted March 22, 2006 Great story... truth is stranger than fiction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pebblestar Posted March 22, 2006 Members Share Posted March 22, 2006 Originally posted by MrKnobs Is your cat still in heat? I'm not askin' for myself T. Not that night unfortunately. After all that, the bitch at home wouldn't put out. PS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators MrKnobs Posted March 22, 2006 Moderators Share Posted March 22, 2006 Originally posted by pebblestar Not that night unfortunately. After all that, the bitch at home wouldn't put out. PS I know what you mean. T. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members brikus Posted March 22, 2006 Author Members Share Posted March 22, 2006 Originally posted by pebblestar As it turns out, she and Bob had an Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators MrKnobs Posted March 22, 2006 Moderators Share Posted March 22, 2006 Originally posted by brikus So basically you just let the guy get a STD from a tough drunk chick, without warning him ? We should be that lucky. This dude is a parasite, basically. He introduced himself to us as a "promoter" but really he's just a dork who likes to hang around bands and feel like he's part of the scene. He lives with his dad and has no car, and he definitely has no social skills whatsoever. When he first contacted us, he talked a big game and, though we didn't believe him for a moment, we wasted a few press kits on him to see if he could really get us shows where he said he could. The answer, of course, is NO. Even if this guy does catch the jack from the drunk chick, at least he got laid for probably the first time in his life. There is no way in hell he would have hooked up with this reasonably hot chick without the cascading series of shoe scrapings from above as each of us (her primary targets) rejected her for our various reasons. She's definitely cute enough to have had her pick of most guys in that club if she hadn't been both so sloppy drunk and so pathetically desperate. She needed an intervention / rescue mission, not a date. I hardly exchanged words with her, but it was obvious she had baggage stacked higher than Union Station during a porter strike. Terry D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vanlatte Posted March 22, 2006 Members Share Posted March 22, 2006 Originally posted by brikus So basically you just let the guy get a STD from a tough drunk chick, without warning him ? Looks to me like he was warned... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pebblestar Posted March 22, 2006 Members Share Posted March 22, 2006 Originally posted by brikus So basically you just let the guy get a STD from a tough drunk chick, without warning him ? Dude, I totally warned him. He just sheepishly grinned and said he'd find protection. PS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pebblestar Posted March 22, 2006 Members Share Posted March 22, 2006 Originally posted by MrKnobs She needed an intervention / rescue mission, not a date. I hardly exchanged words with her, but it was obvious she had baggage stacked higher than Union Station during a porter strike. Terry D. She sure did. And I kinda felt bad that I didn't do more to help her, but as you said last night you can't be responsible for these people all the time. Pick and choose your battles - look how well I've done with Ciara. PS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators MrKnobs Posted March 22, 2006 Moderators Share Posted March 22, 2006 Originally posted by pebblestar She sure did. And I kinda felt bad that I didn't do more to help her, but as you said last night you can't be responsible for these people all the time. You know just how bad it is considering the number of guys she probably unsuccesfully hit on in the club even before she focused on us. To my experienced eye, she was somewhere between the "20 minutes to nail her before she pukes and probably passes out" stage and the Rohypnol stage. I mean, under other circumstances, she could easily have been the girl in the dressing room bathroom pulling a "train." Ugh! Terry D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members John S. Shinal Posted March 22, 2006 Members Share Posted March 22, 2006 Originally posted by MrKnobs We should be that lucky. This dude is a parasite, basically. He introduced himself to us as a "promoter" but really he's just a dork who likes to hang around bands and feel like he's part of the scene. These come in various species. We had one for a while who I dubbed "Roadie Without A Cause". He kept trying to book us into bizarre stuff too but eventually withered on the vine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members elbow Posted March 22, 2006 Members Share Posted March 22, 2006 Originally posted by John S. Shinal These come in various species. We had one for a while who I dubbed "Roadie Without A Cause". He kept trying to book us into bizarre stuff too but eventually withered on the vine. Mom, I want one of those too. Everybody has one but me. I usually have the drummer/bass player/whatever that is always blowing smoke about his connections and can't get anything. I want one of those semi-harmless models that fades away without the dramatic firing episode. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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