Members Mike McLaughlin Posted July 31, 2013 Members Share Posted July 31, 2013 Trust me. It'll happen. You're too old to play gigs when: 1. It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.2. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf or Dolly Parton with no bosom.3. All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m.4. All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub. ...5. You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your set-list. 6. Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie. 7. You lost the directions to the gig. 8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings. 9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage. 10. You feel like heck before the gig even starts. 11. The waitress is your daughter! 12. You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers. 13. Most of your crowd just sways in their seats. 14. You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case. 15. You refuse to play without earplugs. 16. You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30. 17. You check the TV schedule before booking a gig. 18. Your gig stool has a back. 19. You're related to at least one member in the band. 20. You don't let anyone sit in. 21. You need a nap before the gig. 22. After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early. 23. During the breaks, you now go to the van to lie down. 24. You prefer a music stand with a light. 25. You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon. 26. You hope the host's speech lasts forever 27. You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or "cool" factor. 28. Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the audience, 'cause they're younger than your daughter. 29. You can remember seven different club names for the same location. 30. You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it!31. Your date couldn't make it because she couldn't find a babysitter for the grandkids. 32. The set list has to be in 20 point type.. 33. Your drug of choice is now coffee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members msmooth Posted July 31, 2013 Members Share Posted July 31, 2013 Mike McLaughlin wrote: 32. The set list has to be in 20 point type.. Can you add any more? LMAO... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Graeca Posted July 31, 2013 Members Share Posted July 31, 2013 Mike McLaughlin wrote: Trust me. It'll happen. You're too old to play gigs when: 1. It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.2. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf or Dolly Parton with no bosom.3. All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m.4. All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub. ...5. You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your set-list. 6. Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie. 7. You lost the directions to the gig. 8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings. 9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage. 10. You feel like heck before the gig even starts. 11. The waitress is your daughter! 12. You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers. 13. Most of your crowd just sways in their seats. 14. You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case. 15. You refuse to play without earplugs. 16. You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30. 17. You check the TV schedule before booking a gig. 18. Your gig stool has a back. 19. You're related to at least one member in the band. 20. You don't let anyone sit in. 21. You need a nap before the gig. 22. After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early. 23. During the breaks, you now go to the van to lie down. 24. You prefer a music stand with a light. 25. You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon. 26. You hope the host's speech lasts forever 27. You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or "cool" factor. 28. Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the audience, 'cause they're younger than your daughter. 29. You can remember seven different club names for the same location. 30. You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it!31. Your date couldn't make it because she couldn't find a babysitter for the grandkids. 32. The set list has to be in 20 point type.. 33. Your drug of choice is now coffee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Vito Corleone Posted July 31, 2013 Members Share Posted July 31, 2013 Classic!I'm e-mailing that to my bandmates right now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Potts Posted July 31, 2013 Members Share Posted July 31, 2013 Mike McLaughlin wrote: Trust me. It'll happen. You're too old to play gigs when: 1. It becomes more important to find a place on stage for your fan than your amp.2. Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf or Dolly Parton with no bosom.3. All your fans leave by 9:30 p.m.4. All you want from groupies is a foot massage and back rub. ...5. You love taking the elevator because you can sing along with most of your set-list. 6. Instead of a fifth member, your band wants to spring for a roadie. 7. You lost the directions to the gig. 8. You need your glasses to see the amp settings. 9. You've thrown out your back jumping off the stage. 10. You feel like heck before the gig even starts. 11. The waitress is your daughter! 12. You stop the set because your ibuprofen fell behind the speakers. 13. Most of your crowd just sways in their seats. 14. You find your drink tokens from last month's gig in your guitar case. 15. You refuse to play without earplugs. 16. You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 instead of 9:30. 17. You check the TV schedule before booking a gig. 18. Your gig stool has a back. 19. You're related to at least one member in the band. 20. You don't let anyone sit in. 21. You need a nap before the gig. 22. After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early. 23. During the breaks, you now go to the van to lie down. 24. You prefer a music stand with a light. 25. You don't recover until Tuesday afternoon. 26. You hope the host's speech lasts forever 27. You buy amps considering their weight and not their tone or "cool" factor. 28. Feeling guilty looking at hot women at the audience, 'cause they're younger than your daughter. 29. You can remember seven different club names for the same location. 30. You have a hazy memory of the days when you could work 10 gigs in 7 days and could physically do it!31. Your date couldn't make it because she couldn't find a babysitter for the grandkids. 32. The set list has to be in 20 point type.. 33. Your drug of choice is now coffee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shaster Posted August 1, 2013 Members Share Posted August 1, 2013 Wow, talk about comprehensive. I believe I qualify for too many to mention, but I love #28 & #29.I think this one would be too morbid, but a few years ago, I had to change the home page of my website because most of the "famous" people I've worked with are now deceased!But how about this long one: You're often the only person in the band that knows So Into You was by the Atlanta Rhythm Section and that they were an offshoot of the Classics IV when they had their hit Spooky AND you played both tunes when they first came out.Or: You look at a Bose L1 and it just looks like a wimpy Shure vocal Master column Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jimbo_Keys Posted August 1, 2013 Members Share Posted August 1, 2013 Mike, these are priceless (and too true)! I'll add a few ...35. You look at another younger band's setlist and realize you don't know a single song on it.36. You bomb at a nursing home gig because your material's too dated.37. You schedule gigs around your knee surgeries.38. You're not interested in the waitress but have the hots for her mother.39. Your mic stand is older than your drummer. - Jimbo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bob Dey Posted August 1, 2013 Members Share Posted August 1, 2013 LOL, good one Mike.A 30 year old in the audience tells you he's never heard any of the songs you've played. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RoadRanger Posted August 1, 2013 Members Share Posted August 1, 2013 40. You read this list and aren't sure wheither to laugh or cry . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shaster Posted August 1, 2013 Members Share Posted August 1, 2013 Jimbo_Keys wrote: Mike, these are priceless (and too true)! I'll add a few ... 35. You look at another younger band's setlist and realize you don't know a single song on it. 36. You bomb at a nursing home gig because your material's too dated. 37. You schedule gigs around your knee surgeries. 38. You're not interested in the waitress but have the hots for her mother. 39. Your mic stand is older than your drummer. - Jimbo #36 - This almost happened to me a couple of months ago. Played an old folk's home with a duo and we were playing stuff from the American Song Book. Halfway through the gig we switched to The Beatles, Otis Redding and other stuff from the 1960's and the room came alive.#37 - I just turned down a nice paying out of town New Year's gig because my wife is having knee surgery around that time.And I don't even want to talk about #38! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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