Members Kid_A Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 Right I know some of you guys on here are going through similar things so felt its a good place to start.. My drummer has terrible depression, he has a chemical imbalance in his brain, his dad had it and went mad years ago, but got through it... now he's had this for years, but its been ok, he gets by, though his confidence is mega low, and he can never see any light at the end of the tunnel... no matter what we try and say.. The pills he is on also make it hard for him to do his thing with the other sex, which means its a lose lose situation.. So last night he took a massive dose of sleeping pills and was hoping to never wake up again... he's just woke up and told me this. I really dont know what to say or do... I really feel for him, he's my best mate and i feel i have nothing to offer him in terms of help.. What do you guys reckon I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mer2112 Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 Get him some professional help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sethlover Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 Sorry to hear that. He needs to get help from a pro. The best you can do is point him in that direction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bobby D Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 that's SERIOUS {censored}. luckily, his actions speak more of a cry for help than actual suicide. my old bassist HUNG HImSELF:cry: he needs some professional help. YOUR DUTY is to help convince him of that. and there's no shame in getting some help. clinical depression is serious stuff. his medication may need to be changed or the doseage altered. however -- a PROFESSIONAL is needed here.....and maybe a few days of in-patient care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ming Chow Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 302 him now!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Collapse Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 You can't really do anything. Take him to a professional or hope he works it out on his own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Headlow Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 I'd say just do your best to be there for him, and also try to get him to get some professional help. I've suffered from depression and anxiety for the last 7 years, and in some circumstances so called 'friends' trying to help have made things worse. Unfortunately I'm going through a bit of a bad patch at the moment myself. Happily though I'm blessed with great band mates who have been a great help, just by keeping me occupied with music. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kid_A Posted March 16, 2009 Author Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 that's SERIOUS {censored}. luckily, his actions speak more of a cry for help than actual suicide. my old bassist HUNG HImSELF:cry: he needs some professional help. YOUR DUTY is to help convince him of that. and there's no shame in getting some help. clinical depression is serious stuff. his medication may need to be changed or the doseage altered. however -- a PROFESSIONAL is needed here.....and maybe a few days of in-patient care. Im really sorry to hear that mate... He know's he needs help, I know it too. I've told him to change his doctor and sort his medication out as its clearly not working...Cheers for the replies anyway guys... appreciate the help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mr. moon Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 Contact your local social services department and talk with them ASAP, especially the suicide attempt!!! Drive your friend wherever they ask that he go. Make sure you clearly point out the suicide attempt, or you'll just get shuffled around. Make sure to say the word suicide, as it is a "red flag" for getting emergency services!!!! Call before it's too late. Your friend might get pissed with you, but at least when it's all said and done (regardless of the outcome good or bad) you can say that you were a true friend and did what you could to help. good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bobby D Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 Im really sorry to hear that mate... He know's he needs help, I know it too. I've told him to change his doctor and sort his medication out as its clearly not working... Cheers for the replies anyway guys... appreciate the help well, my bassist emailed me a couple of weeks before he did it, i didn't know anything was wrong but YOU have a chance to make a difference.don't know how it works in the UK, but he needs to be committed for at LEAST three days of in-patient care and observation. seriously. even if you have to "trick" him into going somewhere, and lead him to the hospital or something.he needs to be in the care of behavioural health professionals RIGHT NOW...or else you're gonna feel like i do, wishing you had DONE SOMETHING for him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mr. moon Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 Contact your local social services department and talk with them ASAP, especially the suicide attempt!!! Drive your friend wherever they ask that he go. Make sure you clearly point out the suicide attempt, or you'll just get shuffled around. Make sure to say the word suicide, as it is a "red flag" for getting emergency services!!!!Call before it's too late. Your friend might get pissed with you, but at least when it's all said and done (regardless of the outcome good or bad) you can say that you were a true friend and did what you could to help.good luck! ...And yes, I have personal experience with this exact scenario, sadly, it did not turn out well, but I did what I could. -mr moon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cobalt-60 Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 Medication has caused me nothing but problems and misery, it very well may be playing a big part in his as well. Pills can do some scary {censored} to you. If he decides to go off of them, for the love of Christ, make sure he does it properly. Going cold turkey on some of those is the worst thing you can possibly do. But yes, he needs to go pro, somebody that's going to work well with him and knows what the {censored} they're doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bobby D Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 Contact your local social services department and talk with them ASAP, especially the suicide attempt!!! Drive your friend wherever they ask that he go. Make sure you clearly point out the suicide attempt, or you'll just get shuffled around. Make sure to say the word suicide, as it is a "red flag" for getting emergency services!!!!Call before it's too late. Your friend might get pissed with you, but at least when it's all said and done (regardless of the outcome good or bad) you can say that you were a true friend and did what you could to help.good luck! this ^^^ do it NAO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gambit Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 an old band mate and good friend of mine attempted suicide. like everyone else above i would suggest counselling and that he speaks to his GP or other professional about the medication he's on.. or maybe even alternatives.. i'd add that just try and openly talk about it with him. go somewhere comfortable and try and really open up about everything you don't talk about or avoid.. avoid being around people who's idea of talking about it is 'cheer up, fella' 'let's go get wasted' etc.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bobby D Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 trying to fix a broken mind WITH a broken mind is bound for failure. no amount of "brojo", drinking, or drugging will help. suicide is serious business. at least he trusts you enough to tell you about it. which means that subconsciously, he wants and needs your help.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Guest Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 I'd get him to go to therapy. Medication's pretty tricky, so I'd try the talking cure first. Institutionalization is a last resort - I've been lucky enough to avoid it, but a few of my friends haven't. Horror stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kid_A Posted March 16, 2009 Author Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 trying to fix a broken mind WITH a broken mind is bound for failure.no amount of "brojo", drinking, or drugging will help.suicide is serious business. at least he trusts you enough to tell you about it. which means that subconsciously, he wants and needs your help.... This is the problem, im going through my own issues, mrs losing her job, problems with going off in my family, stress of a job, stress of a band... i was gona off to have some beers with him tonight, but maybe thats a {censored} idea. He said hes gona call his doctor tomorrow, but keeps saying it wasnt suicide, hes saying he just wanted to sleep and didnt care how much he took... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bobby D Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 I'd get him to go to therapy. Medication's pretty tricky, so I'd try the talking cure first. Institutionalization is a last resort - I've been lucky enough to avoid it, but a few of my friends haven't. Horror stories. incorrect answer, my friend. therapy was needed LONG before this. at this point, what is needed is real fulltime care, at a facility, for at least 72 hours. personally, the 72 hours i spent in the mental ward were three of the most interesting days of my life.....his mileage my vary. but -- he is PAST the point where simply talking about it is gonna fix anything. his meds need to be changed or the doseage altered. he need to be evaluated and treated. SERIOUSLY. i know what the F%^VCK i am talking about here, from hard experience....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mr. moon Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 The longer you wait to grow a pair and try to save your friends life, the less chance you have to do something. Your friend tried to take his own life, and you're afraid to try to help him? People who actually go through with a suicide attempt are usually way beyond "gentle happy nice talk" therapy.WTF?Get off your ass and do something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members The Dog Boy Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 Always a very "delicate" situation. Like many here have advised, professional help is the order of the day. He could start just by talking to his GP. They can usually assess whether or not he is on the right kind and amount of medication, and also refer him to someone for counseling, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Psychoanalysis, a period of time spent under observation, or some such other method to help him deal with his problems. He should definitely try to stay away from all other forms of "self-medication"...i.e. drugs, alcohol etc. as these almost invariably do NOT mix well with any form of appropriately prescribed medication. Music can be a blessing for him...try to keep him involved. Any form of healthy exercise, and a decent balanced diet can do wonders as well. That's as far as my thinking takes me at the moment. I wish you and him the best of luck...and again, like others have said, the admission of the suicide attempt is definitely a cry for help. Deep down, he wants to get better, but is obviously not sure how to go about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members attic Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 I'm doing my last master year in psychology. Both drugs and therapy can help, but like Bobby D said, at this moment medication is probably the fastest way to get him going. Then start combining it with therapy to fix the real problem because a chemical imbalance in the brain might be the cause, but it might be just a consequence of the mental problems as well. Correlations does not mean that there is a causal relationship. Of course, nothing I'm writing here means a lot because of such little information about this person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KBN Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 As others have said, get him some professional help, but there are things you can do to help. I had a really bad 3 year stretch a number of years ago and while I don't think I was in as bad of a place as your friend, it was pretty bad. Obviously I am speaking from my experience and there may or may not be something that helps you here... Hopefully there is. What finally got me out of the depression was when a couple of friends started forcing me to do things that benefited others. Ok, they didn't exactly force me to, but they were firm with me and called me out when I had bull{censored} excuses why I wouldn't, or couldn't participate. They started signing up to dish up food at the homeless shelter. They signed up to play shows for charity. They started visiting people in prison who had no one to visit them. And they brought me along. I hated it at first and on a certain level resented my friends for it. But my friends are smarter than I am and they knew that getting me to do things that helped others would slowly make me realize my value and that I am needed. All of a sudden things weren't meaningless. It is hard to want to die when things have meaning. I realize this is anecdotal, but hopefully it is applicable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jules-RM Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 The pills he's on now could be contributing to his current mental state. I've had REALLY bleak depression since I was 3 (yeah you can get it that young), it got progressively worse in my late teens/early 20s. I tried to hang myself once (I was 25 then), my mom found me before it was too late. Pills didn't work for me. What worked is to get myself out of my current situation, and I found what is now my current wife. To be honest, my wife changed things for me. I still have black periods, but it really helps to have a good woman to take care of you. Instead of focusing on his "chemical imbalance" it's good to take a look at the entire situation. Does he have a steady GF, what's his housing situation like, does he like his job, what does he eat (does he have a healthy diet, diet can be a trigger), does he drink alcohol, does he drink soft drinks (caffeine is also a possible trigger)? Medication doesn't fix the real world issues, it just makes him not care. I would suggest professional help too, but I've had to deal with a lot of quacks in my life, most "pros" are nothing more than drug peddlers. Make sure they are good, ask for references. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vinnies Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 professional help today. if you care about the guy, you might even want to drop the dime on him yourself, and use the word suicidal - others have said this here, but it can't be stressed enough. the guy needs Help (note the capital h). TODAY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members HeartfeltDawn Posted March 16, 2009 Members Share Posted March 16, 2009 What medication is he on and what has he actually been diagnosed as suffering from? A chemical imbalance suggests something bipolar in nature but I'd like to hear what you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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