I'm feeling really fortunate right now....

[loosegroove]

My dog just got hit by a car and it looks like she is going to be okay. Actually she ran into the side of the car rather than getting hit by it or run over, so we're lucky as hell. I love my pooch. She's at the vet right now under observation, but they say she's doing great.

 

[matterday]

You're very fortunate. Read this so you can have some laughter in your day.

 

Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 11.18am

To: David Thorne

Subject: Re: Pets in the building

 

Hello David

 

I have received your email and wish to remind you that the strata agreement states that no animals are allowed in the building regardless of if your apartment is soundproof. How many dogs do you have at the premises?

 

Helen

 

 

From: David Thorne

Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 1.52pm

To: Helen Bailey

Subject: Re: Re: Pets in the building

 

Dear Helen,

 

Currently I only have eight dogs but one is expecting puppies and I am very excited by this. I am hoping for a litter of at least ten as this is the number required to participate in dog sled racing.

 

I have read every Jack London novel in preparation and have constructed my own sled from timber I borrowed from the construction site across the road during the night. I have devised a plan which I feel will ensure me taking first place in the next national dog sled championships.

 

For the first year of the puppies life I intend to say the word mush then chase them violently around the apartment while yelling and hitting saucepan lids together. I have estimated that the soundproofing of my apartment should block out at least sixty percent of the noise and the dogs will learn to associate the word mush with great fear so when I yell it on race day, the panic and released adrenaline will spur them on to being winners.

 

I am so confident of this being a foolproof plan that I intend to sell all my furniture the day before the race and bet the proceeds on coming first place.

 

Regards, David.

 

 

From: Helen Bailey

Date: Friday 22 May 2009 9.43am

To: David Thorne

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

 

David, I am unsure what to make of your email. Do you have pets in the apartment or not?

 

Helen

 

 

From: David Thorne

Date: Friday 22 May 2009 11.27am

To: Helen Bailey

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

 

Dear Helen,

 

No. I have a goldfish but due to the air conditioner in my apartment being stuck on a constant two degrees celcius, the water in its bowl is iced over and he has not moved for a while so I do not think he is capable of disturbing the neighbours.

 

The ducks in the bathroom are not mine. The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware. I need it to keep food fresh.

 

Once I ate leftover chinese that had been kept in an unsealed container and I experienced complete awareness. The next night I tried eating it again but only experienced chest pains and diarrhoea.

 

Regards, David.

 

 

From: Helen Bailey

Date: Friday 22 May 2009 1.46pm

To: David Thorne

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

 

Hello David

 

You cannot play sounds of dogs or any noise at a volume that disturbs others. I am sure you can appreciate that these rules are for the benefit of all residents of the building. Fish are fine. You cannot have ducks in the apartment though. If it was small birds that would be ok.

 

Helen

 

 

From: David Thorne

Date: Friday 22 May 2009 2.18pm

To: Helen Bailey

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

 

Dear Helen,

 

They are very small ducks.

 

Regards, David.

 

 

From: Helen Bailey

Date: Friday 22 May 2009 4.06pm

To: David Thorne

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

 

David, under section 4 of the strata residency agreement it states that you cannot have pets. You agreed to these rules when you signed the forms.

 

These rules are set out to benefit everyone in the building including yourself. Do you have a telephone number I can call you on to discuss?

 

Helen

 

 

From: David Thorne

Date: Friday 22 May 2009 5.02pm

To: Helen Bailey

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

 

Dear Helen,

 

The ducks will no doubt be flying south for the winter soon so it will not be an issue. It is probably for the best as they are not getting along very well with my seventeen cats anyway. .

 

Regards, David.

 

 

From: Helen Bailey

Date: Monday 25 May 2009 9.22am

To: David Thorne

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

 

David, I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets.

 

Helen

[JETKING]

you're dog is more fortunate,don't you think?

[Bobby D]

mojo sent for your dog....what a sweetie......hope you get good news from the vet!

[loosegroove]

you're dog is more fortunate,don't you think?

 

 

Yeah, no doubt she is very fortunate too!

[loosegroove]

 

mojo sent for your dog....what a sweetie......hope you get good news from the vet!

 

 

Thanks man. Yeah, she really is the sweetest most expressive dog I've ever met. I just got off the phone with the vet and they say everything looks good. I should be heading down there to pick her up soon.

[attic]

Thank you so much for that, matterday!

[loosegroove]

Thank you so much for that, matterday!

 

 

+1

[Zappa74]

Nice lookin dog.

But why did she run into the side of a car? You and her need to have a talk about that kind of behavior.

[Bobby D]

when i wa sjust down in key west, i went to the studio to record a bunch of jingles and "bumps" for a radio station down there.

recorded until DAWN....stumbled out into the morning, and there was a kitty lying there by the door to the studio.

went over to say hello....kitty doesn't move.....run my foot by the face, and kitty sort of reaches out slowly, then EXPIRES. dies right there in front of me.

it broke my heart

but at least i was there with it when it passed. it must have been hit by a car, then crawled over to the studio to die.

i like animals too much.....

[xtoby44x]

You're very fortunate. Read this so you can have some laughter in your day. Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 11.18am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Pets in the building Hello David I have received your email and wish to remind you that the strata agreement states that no animals are allowed in the building regardless of if your apartment is soundproof. How many dogs do you have at the premises? Helen From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 1.52pm To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, Currently I only have eight dogs but one is expecting puppies and I am very excited by this. I am hoping for a litter of at least ten as this is the number required to participate in dog sled racing. I have read every Jack London novel in preparation and have constructed my own sled from timber I borrowed from the construction site across the road during the night. I have devised a plan which I feel will ensure me taking first place in the next national dog sled championships. For the first year of the puppies life I intend to say the word mush then chase them violently around the apartment while yelling and hitting saucepan lids together. I have estimated that the soundproofing of my apartment should block out at least sixty percent of the noise and the dogs will learn to associate the word mush with great fear so when I yell it on race day, the panic and released adrenaline will spur them on to being winners. I am so confident of this being a foolproof plan that I intend to sell all my furniture the day before the race and bet the proceeds on coming first place. Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Friday 22 May 2009 9.43am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building David, I am unsure what to make of your email. Do you have pets in the apartment or not? Helen From: David Thorne Date: Friday 22 May 2009 11.27am To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, No. I have a goldfish but due to the air conditioner in my apartment being stuck on a constant two degrees celcius, the water in its bowl is iced over and he has not moved for a while so I do not think he is capable of disturbing the neighbours. The ducks in the bathroom are not mine. The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware. I need it to keep food fresh. Once I ate leftover chinese that had been kept in an unsealed container and I experienced complete awareness. The next night I tried eating it again but only experienced chest pains and diarrhoea. Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Friday 22 May 2009 1.46pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Hello David You cannot play sounds of dogs or any noise at a volume that disturbs others. I am sure you can appreciate that these rules are for the benefit of all residents of the building. Fish are fine. You cannot have ducks in the apartment though. If it was small birds that would be ok. Helen From: David Thorne Date: Friday 22 May 2009 2.18pm To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, They are very small ducks. Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Friday 22 May 2009 4.06pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building David, under section 4 of the strata residency agreement it states that you cannot have pets. You agreed to these rules when you signed the forms. These rules are set out to benefit everyone in the building including yourself. Do you have a telephone number I can call you on to discuss? Helen From: David Thorne Date: Friday 22 May 2009 5.02pm To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, The ducks will no doubt be flying south for the winter soon so it will not be an issue. It is probably for the best as they are not getting along very well with my seventeen cats anyway. . Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Monday 25 May 2009 9.22am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building David, I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets. Helen

if this is real this is the funniest thing I've read in a while. i was LMAO just thinking about the woman reading these answers. Hilarious

[Naterel]

Hey man mojo sent, hope your dogs fine after this

[turiguiliano]

LOL!!!!!!!!!

You're very fortunate. Read this so you can have some laughter in your day. Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 11.18am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Pets in the building Hello David I have received your email and wish to remind you that the strata agreement states that no animals are allowed in the building regardless of if your apartment is soundproof. How many dogs do you have at the premises? Helen From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 1.52pm To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, Currently I only have eight dogs but one is expecting puppies and I am very excited by this. I am hoping for a litter of at least ten as this is the number required to participate in dog sled racing. I have read every Jack London novel in preparation and have constructed my own sled from timber I borrowed from the construction site across the road during the night. I have devised a plan which I feel will ensure me taking first place in the next national dog sled championships. For the first year of the puppies life I intend to say the word mush then chase them violently around the apartment while yelling and hitting saucepan lids together. I have estimated that the soundproofing of my apartment should block out at least sixty percent of the noise and the dogs will learn to associate the word mush with great fear so when I yell it on race day, the panic and released adrenaline will spur them on to being winners. I am so confident of this being a foolproof plan that I intend to sell all my furniture the day before the race and bet the proceeds on coming first place. Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Friday 22 May 2009 9.43am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building David, I am unsure what to make of your email. Do you have pets in the apartment or not? Helen From: David Thorne Date: Friday 22 May 2009 11.27am To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, No. I have a goldfish but due to the air conditioner in my apartment being stuck on a constant two degrees celcius, the water in its bowl is iced over and he has not moved for a while so I do not think he is capable of disturbing the neighbours. The ducks in the bathroom are not mine. The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware. I need it to keep food fresh. Once I ate leftover chinese that had been kept in an unsealed container and I experienced complete awareness. The next night I tried eating it again but only experienced chest pains and diarrhoea. Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Friday 22 May 2009 1.46pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Hello David You cannot play sounds of dogs or any noise at a volume that disturbs others. I am sure you can appreciate that these rules are for the benefit of all residents of the building. Fish are fine. You cannot have ducks in the apartment though. If it was small birds that would be ok. Helen From: David Thorne Date: Friday 22 May 2009 2.18pm To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, They are very small ducks. Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Friday 22 May 2009 4.06pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building David, under section 4 of the strata residency agreement it states that you cannot have pets. You agreed to these rules when you signed the forms. These rules are set out to benefit everyone in the building including yourself. Do you have a telephone number I can call you on to discuss? Helen From: David Thorne Date: Friday 22 May 2009 5.02pm To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, The ducks will no doubt be flying south for the winter soon so it will not be an issue. It is probably for the best as they are not getting along very well with my seventeen cats anyway. . Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Monday 25 May 2009 9.22am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building David, I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets. Helen

 

[IRG]

I agree, very funny. I read the whole thing to my wife, she lol too. tnx/

if this is real this is the funniest thing I've read in a while. i was LMAO just thinking about the woman reading these answers. Hilarious

[wilsoneffectsll]

Good to hear she's gonna be okay. I had a 1 1/2 year old pup get hit by a car about 2 yrs ago and the S.O.B. didn't stop or nothing. Glad to hear she's okay!!

[bigcheese93]

You're very fortunate. Read this so you can have some laughter in your day. Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 11.18am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Pets in the building Hello David I have received your email and wish to remind you that the strata agreement states that no animals are allowed in the building regardless of if your apartment is soundproof. How many dogs do you have at the premises? Helen From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 1.52pm To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, Currently I only have eight dogs but one is expecting puppies and I am very excited by this. I am hoping for a litter of at least ten as this is the number required to participate in dog sled racing. I have read every Jack London novel in preparation and have constructed my own sled from timber I borrowed from the construction site across the road during the night. I have devised a plan which I feel will ensure me taking first place in the next national dog sled championships. For the first year of the puppies life I intend to say the word mush then chase them violently around the apartment while yelling and hitting saucepan lids together. I have estimated that the soundproofing of my apartment should block out at least sixty percent of the noise and the dogs will learn to associate the word mush with great fear so when I yell it on race day, the panic and released adrenaline will spur them on to being winners. I am so confident of this being a foolproof plan that I intend to sell all my furniture the day before the race and bet the proceeds on coming first place. Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Friday 22 May 2009 9.43am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building David, I am unsure what to make of your email. Do you have pets in the apartment or not? Helen From: David Thorne Date: Friday 22 May 2009 11.27am To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, No. I have a goldfish but due to the air conditioner in my apartment being stuck on a constant two degrees celcius, the water in its bowl is iced over and he has not moved for a while so I do not think he is capable of disturbing the neighbours. The ducks in the bathroom are not mine. The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware. I need it to keep food fresh. Once I ate leftover chinese that had been kept in an unsealed container and I experienced complete awareness. The next night I tried eating it again but only experienced chest pains and diarrhoea. Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Friday 22 May 2009 1.46pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Hello David You cannot play sounds of dogs or any noise at a volume that disturbs others. I am sure you can appreciate that these rules are for the benefit of all residents of the building. Fish are fine. You cannot have ducks in the apartment though. If it was small birds that would be ok. Helen From: David Thorne Date: Friday 22 May 2009 2.18pm To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, They are very small ducks. Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Friday 22 May 2009 4.06pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building David, under section 4 of the strata residency agreement it states that you cannot have pets. You agreed to these rules when you signed the forms. These rules are set out to benefit everyone in the building including yourself. Do you have a telephone number I can call you on to discuss? Helen From: David Thorne Date: Friday 22 May 2009 5.02pm To: Helen Bailey Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building Dear Helen, The ducks will no doubt be flying south for the winter soon so it will not be an issue. It is probably for the best as they are not getting along very well with my seventeen cats anyway. . Regards, David. From: Helen Bailey Date: Monday 25 May 2009 9.22am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building David, I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets. Helen

That is the funniest thing I've read all day.

And I hope your dog is okay! It would be such a shame to see a cute puppy be hurt.

[loosegroove]

Well guys she's home. She's really groggy from some pain killers, not to mention she got her bell rung really hard and it's been a long day. She's seems to be doing well though. Thanks for all the good words.

 

Sorry to hear about your pup Wilson. The guy who hit my dog couldn't have been any nicer. He pulled over immediately and was kind enough to drive me to the vet. He even came into the office to make sure everything was okay. I wish I knew how I could contact him because I owe him a lot of gratitude.

[Naterel]

Oh man, good to hear

I was walking my dog earlier around a busy gas station, making sure it didnt get hit cause people cant drive around here

then I came in and read this thread, and I felt bad but shes fine now.

just gotta take it slow

[wilsoneffectsll]

Well guys she's home. She's really groggy from some pain killers, not to mention she got her bell rung really hard and it's been a long day. She's seems to be doing well though. Thanks for all the good words. Sorry to hear about your pup Wilson. The guy who hit my dog couldn't have been any nicer. He pulled over immediately and was kind enough to drive me to the vet. He even came into the office to make sure everything was okay. I wish I knew how I could contact him because I owe him a lot of gratitude.

 

 

Glad to hear it. Sounds like there are some good peeps left in the world. Thanks for your condolences.

[arcarsenal72]

sorry to hear that, mojo sent!

[mrweems]

is that a boston terrier?

[theboywho]

From:Jeff Peters Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 10.22am To: David Thorne Subject: Membership Renewal Dear David This is a friendly reminder to let you know your gym membership expired last week. Your membership is important to us and we would like to take this opportunity to show our appreciation by offering you a 20% discount on your membership renewal. We look forward to seeing you again soon. All the best, Jeff Peters From: David Thorne Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 1.37pm To: Jeff Peters Subject: Re: Membership Renewal Dear Jeff, Thankyou for your friendly reminder and the kind offer to reduce my membership by twenty percent. I own a calculator but I could not work out how to do percentages on it so have estimated that I save around $372.10 off the normal price of $420.00 - Please confirm that this is correct and I will renew my membership immediately. Also, do I get a Fitness First sports bag with towel and drinking bottle included in the price? I own my own legwarmers and headband. Regards, David. From: Jeff Peters Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.01am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Hello David How did you come to that amount? Our half year membership fees are actually $460 but with the 20% discount as an existing member your renewing membership fee would be only $368 for the six months saving you almost $100 off the normal price. We are not Fitness First so do not have those bags. Cheers, Jeff From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.18am To: Jeff Peters Subject: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Dear Jeff Do I get free shipping with that? Regards, David. From: Jeff Peters Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 12.48pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Free shipping with what? The $368 covers your membership fees for six months. From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 2.26pm To: Jeff Peters Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Dear Jeff By the power of Greyskull that is a lot of money but I admit to being in desperate need of increasing my body strength. My ten year old child often turns the taps off in the bathroom very tightly and I have to go several days without washing. I feel bad constantly having to ask the lady from next door to come over and loosen them for me, what with her arthritis and limited wheelchair access to my apartment. To be honest, I originally joined your gym with full intentions of attending every few days but after waiting in vain for someone to offer me steroids, I began to suspect this was not going to happen and the realisation that I may have to exercise instead was, quite frankly, horrifying. My aversion to work, along with the fact one of your employees, Justin, was rather rude, telling me to 'lift this', ''push that' dulled my initial enthusiasm of becoming muscular and I stopped attending. Regards, David. From: Jeff Peters Date: Friday 10 April 2009 9.17am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Hello David Not sure how to take your email, nobody here would offer you steroids, it is illegal and none of our staff would do this. Justin is one of our most experienced trainers and if you found him rude while he was trying to be helpful and just doing his job then there are plenty of other gyms you could look at joining instead. Cheers, Jeff From: David Thorne Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.02am To: Jeff Peters Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Dear Jeff Yes, I have noticed that there are many gyms in my area. I assume the low qualification requirements of fitness trainers means that there is an over supply of these buffed but essentially otherwise purposeless professionals. I knew a guy in high school who couldn't talk very well and collected sticks, he used to call the teacher 'mum' and during recess we would give him money to dance. Then sell him sticks to get our money back. Advertisement He went on to become a fitness instructor so I view gyms as kind of like those factories that provide a community service by employing people with down syndrome to lick stamps and pack boxes. Except with more Spandex obviously. Regards, David. From: Jeff Peters Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.32am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Go f$*k yourself. From: David Thorne Date: Friday 10 April 2009 11.38am To: Jeff Peters Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Dear Jeff I was, at first, quite surprised at your response; one minute you are inviting me to renew my membership and asking me for money, the next insulting me. After doing a little research however, I have learnt that mood swings are an expected side effect of steroid abuse. As another side effect is a reduction in the size of your p#$%, this gives you understandable cause to be an angry person. I have also learnt that Spandex contains carcinogenic properties so this does not bode well for yourself and your shiny friends. If I woke up one morning and my p#$% was a quarter of the size I would probably take my anger out on those around me as well. There are probably support groups or websites that could help you manage your problem more effectively and picture based books available on the subject for people with limited reading skills. When I am angry I like to Listen to music by Linkin Park. The added angst and desire to cut myself works similarly to the way firefighters fight forest fires by burning off sections, effectively canceling each other out and I find myself at peace. I understand that you guys usually listen to Pet Shop Boys or Frankie Goes to Hollywood so this may be worth a try. Regards, David. From: Jeff Peters Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.04pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due DO NOT EMAIL ME AGAIN From: David Thorne Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.15pm To: Jeff Peters Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Ok. From: Jeff Peters Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.25pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due Is that you being a smartarse or agreeing not to email me again? From: David Thorne Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.32pm To: Jeff Peters Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due The middle one.

 

[theboywho]

Or this one, probably the best.

From: Jane Gilles Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm To: David Thorne Subject: Overdue account Dear David, Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding. Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles From: David Thorne Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm To: Jane Gilles Subject: Re: Overdue account Dear Jane, I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter. Regards, David. From: Jane Gilles Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am To: David Thorne Subject: Overdue account Dear David, Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding. Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am To: Jane Gilles Subject: Re: Overdue account Dear Jane, Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please. Regards, David. From: Jane Gilles Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account Dear David, You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you? Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am To: Jane Gilles Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account Dear Jane, Yes please. Regards, David. From: Jane Gilles Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account Attached From: David Thorne Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am To: Jane Gilles Subject: Whose spider is that? Dear Jane, Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it. Regards, David. From: Jane Gilles Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Whose spider is that? Dear David, Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible. Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles From: David Thorne Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am To: Jane Gilles Subject: Automated Out of Office Response Thankyou for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week. Regards, David. From: David Thorne Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am To: Jane Gilles Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that? Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion. Regards, David. From: Jane Gilles Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that? Dear David, As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees. Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles From: David Thorne Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm To: Jane Gilles Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that? I understand and will definitely make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it. Regards, David. From: Jane Gilles Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am To: David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that? Attached

[loosegroove]

is that a boston terrier?

 

 

Yup. She's got floppy ears, so she doesn't look like your typical Boston Terrier.

[Ponda Boba]

godspeed good dog