Rhyming struggles: Kerosine

[roman2]

The rhyming dictionary kinda let me down on this one. It's a 4 lines part, and I really don't want to give up the 3 lines I have so far. So probably someone here has a good idea to save them. So far:

 

1. and THEN the CAN of KEroSINE

2. so LOVEly AND ??????

3. the MATCHbox IN her SHAking HAND

4. will PUT her STRUggle TO an END

 

Emphasized syllables are capped, to give an idea of the rythm. I've tried some variations

 

1. the LOVEly SMELL of KEroSINE

2. the SOOTHing [effect of] morPHINE

 

From the rhyming dictionary, I also found "forseen" to be promising. Something about unforseen events taking place, incorporating kerosin and matchboxes. But I couldn't come up with any ideas I actually liked.

 

So anyone got an idea that could help me out on this?

[grace_slick]

Well, I don't really know what to suggest in terms of the context of anything...but you can rhyme Kerosine with anything ending in EEN, or even maybe EEM or EAM or EEVE...believe, dream...it's the EE bit that matters in my opinion...it'd sound better than being so bogged down in structural stuff, to HAVE to rhyme Kerosine exactly...and as long as it doesn't jar people's brains or grate on them, it should be fine...and you can say what you want as opposed to being so restricted...

 

You could do like..."and then the can of Kerosine...the object of her (insert suitably disturbed word here) dream"...something like that...

 

Cause you've already kind of rhymed "hand" to "end" which...yeah, with some pronunciation-tweaking does rhyme pretty much.

 

But don't listen to me. I know nothing. lol

[Lee Knight]

1. and THEN the CAN of KEroSINE

2. so LOVEly AND ??????

 

...clean

...unclean

...pristine

...obsene

 

 

1. the LOVEly SMELL of KEroSINE

2. the SOOTHing...

 

warmth of

hug of

embrace of

 

...morPHINE

[stickboymusic]

I know this isnt really the answer to your question - but are your 1-4 four lines of a song?

 

If so you could rhyme in this way (quick example)

 

1. and THEN the CAN of KEroSINE

2. farewell to you my friend

3. the dirty MATCH IN hand so clean

4. will PUT her STRUggle TO an END

[roman2]

"embrace of" would be possible I guess. After all, it's the only one where the number of syllables fits. "the SOOthing EMbrace OF morPHINe" is a weird intonation though, might sound unnatural :/

Thanks for all the ideas, though.

[rsadasiv]

Not too many rhymes, but this is the definitive kerosene song for me.

 

I was born in this town

Lived here my whole life

Probably come to die in this town

Lived here my whole life

Never anything to do in this town

Lived here my whole life

Never anything to do in this town

Probably learn to die in this town

Lived here my whole life

Nothing to do

Sit around at home

Sit around at home

Nothing to do

Stare at the walls

Stare at each other

Wait til we die

Stare at each other

Wait til we die

Probably come to die in this town

Lived here my whole life

There's kerosene around

Something to do

There's kerosene around

It's something to do

There's kerosene around

Find something to do

There's kerosene around

 

-Big Black, "Kerosene"

 

[video=youtube;0r5zTZthbFo]

[rhino55]

pristine was the one that came to my mind first

[blue2blue]

roman2, I hope you're not trying to get end and hand to rhyme, because in standard English pronunciation, they don't come close.

[Lee Knight]

 

roman2, I hope you're not trying to get end and hand to rhyme, because in standard English pronunciation, they don't come close.

 

 

Not trying to be contrary, but I think it does. For pop music? It's the kind of rhyme I'd have to convince myself to use, but I think be happy I did. No?

[rsadasiv]

 

Not trying to be contrary, but I think it does. For pop music? It's the kind of rhyme I'd have to convince myself to use, but I think be happy I did. No?

 

 

No.

[Lee Knight]

I speak Californian and they sound very much alike. Not for a poem, but a song?

[rhino55]

 

I speak Californian and they sound very much alike. Not for a poem, but a song?

 

 

They do rhyme, at least to me they do and I dont even speak Californian. That being said, I do think the last line could be stronger anyway

[Etienne Rambert]

1. and THEN the CAN of KEroSINE

2. She was LOVEly in a pair of jeans.

 

So lovely it would scare a queen

 

tear a scream

[LCK]

 

roman2, I hope you're not trying to get end and hand to rhyme, because in standard English pronunciation, they don't come close.

 

 

End and hand are slant rhymes, where the consonant is the same, but the vowel is different.

 

To me (and to many poets and lyricists) slant rhymes are more acceptable than near rhymes where the vowel is the same and the consonants are different. The worst, most egregious example of near rhymes?

 

Did you ever know that you're my hero,

and everything I would like to be?

I can fly higher than an eagle,

for you are the wind beneath my wings.

 

It makes my skin crawl to think of rhyming hero with eagle. That's worse than amateur-hour in my book.

 

Here's an example of a near rhyme that does work. (From "Guilty" by Randy Newman,)

 

You know how it is with me, baby.

You know I just can't stand myself.

It takes a whole lot of medicine

for me to believe I'm somebody else.

 

This works for two reasons. The ending sounds are much closer, plus self has very few natural rhymes, and none of them would make sense in the context of this song.

 

Meanwhile, here's a lyric, by Johnny Mercer, who uses a triple slant rhyme:

 

As my eyes visualize a family

I see dreamily

Emily too.

 

Now that's cool! And it shows how effective a slant rhyme can be.

 

LCK

[blue2blue]

 

End and hand are slant rhymes, where the consonant is the same, but the vowel is different. To me (and to many poets and lyricists) slant rhymes are more acceptable than near rhymes where the vowel is the same and the consonants are different. The worst, most egregious example of near rhymes? Did you ever know that you're my hero, and everything I would like to be? I can fly higher than an eagle, for you are the wind beneath my wings. It makes my skin crawl to think of rhyming hero with eagle. That's worse than amateur-hour in my book. Here's an example of a near rhyme that does work. (From "Guilty" by Randy Newman,) You know how it is with me, baby. You know I just can't stand my self . It takes a whole lot of medicine for me to believe I'm somebody else . This works for two reasons. The ending sounds are much closer, plus self has very few natural rhymes, and none of them would make sense in the context of this song. Meanwhile, here's a lyric, by Johnny Mercer, who uses a triple slant rhyme: As my eyes visualize a family I see dreamily Emily too. Now that's cool! And it shows how effective a slant rhyme can be. LCK

I'd say it's the -mily that rhymes between family and Emily (and homily, chummily, etc). The dissimilar leading vowels are irrelevant to my way of thinking -- but the identical (last) two vowels and the intervening identical consonant make a full rhyme.

 

And, again to my thinking, eagle and hero aren't even half-rymes, since only the first but not the last vowel rhymes. Emo and hero would be such half-rhymes, although pretty unsatisfying, nonetheless.

[roman2]

 

I'd say it's the - mily that rhymes between family and Emily (and homily , chummily , etc). The dissimilar leading vowels are irrelevant to my way of thinking -- but the identical (last) two vowels and the intervening identical consonant make a full rhyme.

 

Yeah, well. Technically, that would make them identities, which aren't rhymes. That's at least what Clement Wood told me.

[blue2blue]

Oh, yeah... I somehow had the pronounciation of "and" in my hand when writing these lines. Crap :/

I almost mentioned hand as a perfect rhyme for hand there. (Actually the link below would call it a mirror rhyme, apparently.)

Yeah, well. Technically, that would make them identities, which aren't rhymes. That's at least what Clement Wood told me.

So, family, Emily, homily, etc, would be considered "identities"? I'll admit I'm not up on my technical terms for the most part (they go in one cerebral hemisphere and out the other ) but that doesn't seem to be how this explainer has it: http://www.trobar.org/prosody/prhy.php According to his definition, it seems identity rhymes are what I would call homophonic rhymes. (They sound precisely the same, from front to back.)

 

(Keep in mind that the writer of that explainer apparently uses British pronunciation -- that is, as he has it, clerk and lark rhyme -- while using a US pronunciation, clerk and lurk rhyme. That's one reason why idiosyncratic or regional/dialect pronunciation-based rhyme can be so problematic. [i'm still trying to wrap my head around his example of talk and torque as such 'identity' or homophonic rhymes. British English speakers -- is that really how y'all say torque? If so, damn that's weird! ] )

[stickboymusic]

 

)

 

 

Talk and Torque are said identically where im from

[blue2blue]

Wild.

 

So, would you also consider fork and talk as perfect rhymes as well? As I think of accents similar to yours, there's the tiniest hint of difference between how I'd pronounce them. Er... not that I'm exactly expert in other people's accents/dialects.

 

Here's my attempt at the distinction (it's faint, for sure, and pardon my laughable fake Brit accent )... http://dl.dropbox.com/u/6216879/recording-20110531-132733.mp3

 

Here's how I'd probably distinguish between talk and torque in my phony Brit acccent: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/6216879/recording-20110531-133649.mp3

 

I'll admit, there's only a hair's difference. (And, in practical terms, I'll try to rhyme anything I think I can get away with. )

[fatusstratus]

I'm not a big fan of staying too strict to rhyming

 

put any of the "ine" chemicals will work

 

and something with a pronounced INE in the last syllable will word like "fiend"..that could probably fit somehow

 

there are EEN/eans too like splean, mean, sheen, ween, teen, bean, peen, lean,

 

EEM/eams are pretty close too -- team, cream, dream, steam, meme, ream, gleam,

 

 

don't let yourself get all too hung up on the rhym...it can get sing-songy and kind of trite if you slave yourself to that

[stickboymusic]

Wild. So, would you also consider fork and talk as perfect rhymes as well? As I think of accents similar to yours, there's the tiniest hint of difference between how I'd pronounce them. Er... not that I'm exactly expert in other people's accents/dialects. Here's my attempt at the distinction (it's faint, for sure, and pardon my laughable fake Brit accent )... http://dl.dropbox.com/u/6216879/recording-20110531-132733.mp3 Here's how I'd probably distinguish between talk and torque in my phony Brit acccent: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/6216879/recording-20110531-133649.mp3 I'll admit, there's only a hair's difference. (And, in practical terms, I'll try to rhyme anything I think I can get away with. )

 

talk and folk absolute rhymes for me indeed

 

haha LOVE your posh british accent!!

[Eddie]

http://www.public.asu.edu/~aarios/formsofverse/furtherreading/page2.html

 

I had never heard of a macaronic rhyme

[blue2blue]

 

talk and folk absolute rhymes for me indeed haha LOVE your posh british accent!!

If you like that one, you'll love this one: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/6216879/recording-20110531-154020.mp3

 

 

(Apologies to future generations; these mp3s will likely disappear sooner rather than later, as they're sucking down valuable cloud space in me dropbox.)

[blue2blue]

http://www.public.asu.edu/~aarios/formsofverse/furtherreading/page2.html I had never heard of a macaronic rhyme

Is that where you rhyme instant macaroni with academic phony?

 

(J/K... looks like a valuable resource and I saved it as a PDF so I could ignore it in the future as well. )

[Lee Knight]

 

I'm not a big fan of staying too strict to rhyming put any of the "ine" chemicals will work and something with a pronounced INE in the last syllable will word like "fiend"..that could probably fit somehow there are EEN/eans too like splean, mean, sheen, ween, teen, bean, peen, lean, EEM/eams are pretty close too -- team, cream, dream, steam, meme, ream, gleam, don't let yourself get all too hung up on the rhym...it can get sing-songy and kind of trite if you slave yourself to that

 

 

Great post. And I went looking for rhymes and didn't come up with half of what you did. Nice.