Open Mic Etiquette Rant

[Hudman]

 

Great! "Problem", solved. Another case of open mic angst, cured. Your inability to recruit other musicians to perform at this venue speaks to both the venue, and yourself.

 

 

He seems like a nice guy. I don't know why you are being so aggressive towards him. There is a possibility that the open mic host is a dickhead, especially considering that no one attends his open mic night.

[Christhee68]

Reading this whole thing has helped me to develop a new open mic plan (feel free to use it if you like).

 

I have learned of (and played) at 6 different open mics over the past month. My plan:

 

Hit at least one (maybe two) per week.

 

Have four songs ready for each venue (different songs for each).

 

Have four new songs for each venue each week.

 

At the end of the month, I will have played 6-8 times with a minimum of 4 songs each time. I'll have 24-32 songs that I have played in front of a crowd. That should give me a good base of songs if I get the chance to pick up a paying gig at a bar, restuarant etc.

 

I could maybe even pick up a gig at one of the venues that is hosting the open mic, or be invited to fill in for the open mic host if he can't make it some nights.

[OldGuitarPlayer]

I wasn't aware that the OP was playing 15-20 songs at this open mic he is talking about. That is NOT an open mic, that's a gig. Obviously the host is either not advertising or people just don't want to attend it for some reason. If I go to an open mic like that I do my 3-4 tunes and I leave the host to play for himself if that's the case. That is what he is getting paid for. I am certainly not going to play 2 sets worth of material for free. I have been to open mics like that were no one shows up except for me. I went a couple of times and it was the same thing so I never went back. I not only go to an open mic to perform but to also be entertained by other musicians and meet new players. If there is no one else there to play then I get bored after awhile. I think your decision not to go back is the right one.

[Chordchunker]

You have to have thick skin to be a performer. I`m past being burned out on open mikes unless I`m trying to get a gig at the place. I`ve hosted several and now the only open mike I do is the one on this forum.

[phoniclab]

 

I wasn't aware that the OP was playing 15-20 songs at this open mic he is talking about. That is NOT an open mic, that's a gig. Obviously the host is either not advertising or people just don't want to attend it for some reason. If I go to an open mic like that I do my 3-4 tunes and I leave the host to play for himself if that's the case. That is what he is getting paid for. I am certainly not going to play 2 sets worth of material for free. I have been to open mics like that were no one shows up except for me. I went a couple of times and it was the same thing so I never went back. I not only go to an open mic to perform but to also be entertained by other musicians and meet new players. If there is no one else there to play then I get bored after awhile. I think your decision not to go back is the right one.

 

 

Thanks for the voice of reason. If anything that I've picked up from this thread is that I'm not really doing an open mic at this venue. For various reasons it's become a gig and that has probably been at least part of the problem. I really just want to do OM and that's why I think it's the right decision not go back.

[Yamaneck]

 

He seems like a nice guy. I don't know why you are being so aggressive towards him. There is a possibility that the open mic host is a dickhead, especially considering that no one attends his open mic night.

 

 

This whole tempest in a teapot is wildly dysfunctional...

[missedmyexit]

 

That's a hell of a jump, you've never been to this open mic, never met the guy, but you're imagining what his motivations might be. If he felt I was over playing these songs, he could have just come asked me to learn some new material. When I first started going to this open mic there was another individual who came to every single one, twice a week. And every single time, he played all the same songs. I never once heard the host play any of those songs. I'm not sold on the repeating thing. I know that I work on new material. I've said that many times. And from what I've seen I do a better job of it than most of the people I see around town. Ultimately the open mics around here are social events. They are activities put on by the venue on off nights to bring people into the venue. It's like a bar having a volleyball league or a dart league. The bar doesn't care how you play volleyball or darts, all they care is that you're there. Imagine coming to a weekly dart tournament and being told by the organizer you can't play that week because you're using the same darts you used last week. As I've thought about this since I originally posted this thread, I think I've come to realize what really irritated me. It is the social aspect of it. It's the idea of being invited to come play and then being made to feel unwelcome by the host. Despite the hosts motivation, which I don't know and you don't either, it's poor hosting.

 

 

You are correct they are social events and like most the most direct approach is probably the best. You want to know what his motivations are for playing the song, ask him. Politely. Once you get your answer then you'll know and can move on from there. If you didn't want people speculating about his motivations what was the point of the thread?

[Oldskool Texas]

And for the record, I never said you had delusions of grandeur. I said that I've seen that happen. You do seem to have a lot of yourself invested in this, however, to the point that you're discussing it in public and now quitting the gig. That, coupled with your defensiveness at some of the suggestions and ruminations that you invited by starting the thread tells me there's ego involved. That's not necessarily a bad thing; I only bring it up because I think it's healthy to look at your own motivations, not just the host's. Again, if I'm being rude, I aplogize. That's not my intention.

[Queequeg]

musician with an ego?

(hey, isn't that redundant?)

[seagullplayer77]

 

This whole tempest in a teapot is wildly dysfunctional...

 

 

If we're such a bunch of dysfunctional lunatics, perhaps you should go elsewhere. No one's making you stay, and quite frankly, you don't typically have good advice anyway. You pop up every couple of months, spew some venom and cause problems, then disappear.

[gthom]

 

In all honesty, Yamaneck, it's not the OP's responsibility to recruit people for the OM. That's the job of the host, and it's not fair at all to fault the OP.

 

 

That's my take as well. Frankly, I don't understand what the OP has said in this thread that's so off base as to make him the bad guy. He goes to an open mic that often only has one other person (the host) and as a result ends up playing most of his repetoire. If the host doesn't like hearing the same 15-20 songs every couple weeks, he could have simply said "hey, would you mind mixing it up a bit" and if that means that the OP only plays 4 or 5 songs (giving him about a month's worth of material) then fine. But it's petty of the host to try to undercut him by playing those songs first.

 

Seems the best solution is to stop going to that open mic. No need to make the guy feel bad about himself as a player for having a couple sets worth of material.

[Julka]

 

That's my take as well. Frankly, I don't understand what the OP has said in this thread that's so off base as to make him the bad guy. He goes to an open mic that often only has one other person (the host) and as a result ends up playing most of his repetoire. If the host doesn't like hearing the same 15-20 songs every couple weeks, he could have simply said "hey, would you mind mixing it up a bit" and if that means that the OP only plays 4 or 5 songs (giving him about a month's worth of material) then fine. But it's petty of the host to try to undercut him by playing those songs first. Seems the best solution is to stop going to that open mic. No need to make the guy feel bad about himself as a player for having a couple sets worth of material.

 

 

I think people are picking up on the fact that this guy is complaining about something that's a) not that big of a deal and b) is entirely and completely his fault and c) is a problem that he could solve in any number of simple solutions that don't require the help of the internet.

 

Plus the fact that he came in here saying "am I completely off base here" and people responded "yeah, you're totally off base, what are you doing" and he immediately got defensive with the classic "You've never seen me play, you don't know what's going on and you don't know the history or context of this event so how can you even judge". Of course people responded with "Well then start sharing, we've got all the time in the world" and he naturally clammed up with the "it's deep and personal and none of your business" finisher.

 

If I had to guess, I'd say that this guy is 17; the only reason that can't be true is because it would make the host -3 years old. But when somebody asks for advice, rejects the advice because it doesn't agree with their opinions, and then refuses to explain why the advice is bad, it's pretty clear that the only side of the story we're getting is a pretty biased one.

 

Phoniclab, I'm sorry I'm not giving you kind words of advice like you apparently want. Just like it's not your job to come up with new songs to play for this open mic, it's not my job to act like your first grade teacher and tell you that everything you do is fantastic.

[Christhee68]

You don't get it. I'm referring to the original, whining, OP's tempest in a teapot. Still having problems with that JJB mis-install, hm? Buy anymore preamps to try to get it to sound right? Asshole.

 

[gthom]

 

I think people are picking up on the fact that this guy is complaining about something that's a) not that big of a deal and b) is entirely and completely his fault and c) is a problem that he could solve in any number of simple solutions that don't require the help of the internet.

 

 

You've accurately described roughly 80% of all posts ever made on every internet discussion board. But I guess that's why roughly the same percentage turn into pissing matches and the inevitable "you sound like you're __teen years old" posts.

 

But whatever, I don't have a dog in this fight. I've never played at an open mic and would struggle at finding 15 songs to play for my wife, much less a couple strangers down at the local bar.

[Julka]

 

You've accurately described roughly 80% of all posts ever made on every internet discussion board. But I guess that's why roughly the same percentage turn into pissing matches and the inevitable "you sound like you're __teen years old" posts. But whatever, I don't have a dog in this fight. I've never played at an open mic and would struggle at finding 15 songs to play for my wife, much less a couple strangers down at the local bar.

 

 

Most posts like that are made by 17 year olds or younger. If this guy is 20 years older than somebody who's old enough to be hosting an open mic night, then he should know better and I don't feel bad about calling him on his {censored}.

[Tartanlad]

At the end of the day if you dont like the host because of him playing the songs you play normally then simply either confront him

when he's on his own about such and explain in a nice manner and then see what his answer is to that

 

If answer isnt to your liking just dont go back

 

christ in other matters outside of music with work etc ive walked away

and never went back as i wouldnt let anyone piss me around bosses and all

if your not happy best to not go back m8

 

I've the feeling he the host is possibly being awkward with you

by playing exactly the same songs as you were always playing ?

i'd personally have a quiet word with him but thats up to you m8

though hope all works out. Ps Or better still learn new songs as both that would sort him out

and also you shall have learnt other songs ok.

[Opa John]

 

Actually I have listened to the advice given to me on this thread. Here's what I've gathered: The 2 best pieces of advice have been either work with the guy or leave. I've decided to leave. Maybe at some future date I'll go back and talk to the guy. Then there's the advice that I need to learn 13 new songs in every 2 week period or I'm repeating too much. Basically that's 1 new song a day. That's doesn't seem very reasonable to me and I won't be following that advice. But since I won't be going to the OM that caused that advice, I guess it's irrelevant. Then there's the advice that I'm egotistical and have delusions of grandeur. I don't really take that as advice.

 

 

Well, I don't think you need to learn 13 songs in every two week period, but in one of your previous comments you mentioned that your repertoire is up to about 30 songs now. That may sound like a lot of songs to you, but I'd guess there are a butt load of out-of-work musicians running around Nashville who could sit down and play about 450 songs with no repititions. I think you need to back off of the open mike venues for awhile until you've got a few more songs on your set list, I don't think I ever played for an audience until I had about 150 selections worked up. Pretty sure I had about 50 under my belt by the time I was 21......and that was a looooooooooooong time ago!

 

EDIT: Please don't misunderstand what I'm trying to say here. All I mean is that if you had a whole lot more songs to choose from, the chances of the host stealing your thunder are less. And, like a few others have mentioned.....try to find some really obscure stuff that the host can't even remember the tune to. The host is definitely some kind of "a-hole".

[Queequeg]

It happens from time to time. I have been on both sides of this thing. Fact is, there's some tunes that many of us like to play because they are fun to play and they are well-received by the audience. But if he is deliberately mining your set list, that's just a bit weird.

Maybe you could jump up on stage and tell the audience that you were going to play Flight of the Bumblebee but you heard that the host wanted to play it tonight so you wont spoil his thunder, and go with something else. He might get the message.

Open mics (and in particular, the OM host) should encourage musicians.

Most OMs will give each musician 15 minutes or two-to-three songs and then you're off. And if you're lucky maybe you get to come back up again later in the evening. So your 30 tunes would be enough for most OM situations.

I just play instrumentals so I don't think I will ever have 150; certainly not 450 in my repertoire, polished up and ready to go. I try to learn 2 or 3 new ones a month. I don't always succeed. Even when I do this generally has a deleterious effect on other tunes and then I can't remember the older ones.

[seagullplayer77]

The Great HCAG Pissing Match has begun (again). I'll bring popcorn . . . anyone up for bringing some soda?

 

[Hudman]

Wow, the OP came here to vent and he's getting the asshole treatment.

 

I have no clue why people are defending the open mic host (who only had one open mic participant - the OP - now he has none).

 

Some people are non confrontational. They prefer to vent to others rather than risk hurting another person's feelings or starting a fight. It has nothing to do with maturity (as some have suggested). In fact, one could argue that immature people tend to speak first and think second (if at all).

 

Give the guy a break.

[guitarcapo]

Most of the "open mic" guys around here monopolize the whole night playing on their own for their girlfriend and other close friends. Occasionally they'll take a break and let good friends play a little bit (usually along with the host who refuses to totally relinquish the stage. Then at around midnight to 1 a.m. they let "new" people who responded to the flyers have the stage for a few brief songs.

 

It's really a gig for a musician guy without a band but who's already invested in p.a. equipment and needs $100 on a Thursday night. The guy's usually an asshole (Why do you think he doesn't have a band? They kicked him out for being an asshole)

[S~R~O]

Ah! Just get over it.

 

"It's all about the Music" not you.

[OldGuitarPlayer]

Most of the "open mic" guys around here monopolize the whole night playing on their own for their girlfriend and other close friends. Occasionally they'll take a break and let good friends play a little bit (usually along with the host who refuses to totally relinquish the stage. Then at around midnight to 1 a.m. they let "new" people who responded to the flyers have the stage for a few brief songs. It's really a gig for a musician guy without a band but who's already invested in p.a. equipment and needs $100 on a Thursday night. The guy's usually an asshole (Why do you think he doesn't have a band? They kicked him out for being an asshole)

 

I run my open mic in exactly the opposite way. I let newcomers play first and regulars play last. The regulars understand this and don't care as they are there to have fun and hangout, socialize etc...I do not use a list as I know who is there and when they came in and I speak to all ther performers personally to welcome them and let them know when they will be on. I also do not provide a PA as there is a house system. I also do not monopolize the stage. The longest I usually play when I open the show is maybe 20-25 minutes maximum. I'll also sit in and play lead guitar with some performers if they invite me to. I also do not get paid to do this ( I do get to have as many free beverages as I like though ). I only do this for the benefit of other people who want to play.

 

I have hosted open mics were there have been as many as 20 players and as little as 3 players and no one goes away unhappy or disappointed. I have also been blessed with seeing some great performances over the years and have made some good friends from it.

[Christhee68]

I'm pretty new to the open mic thing (I've played 6 or 7 total at 5 different venues) but the best, or most organized went like this:

 

The host started (promptly) the show by saying "Hi everyone, I'm Jim, your host for tonight's open mic. The rules are simple, sign up on the list that's being passed around. That's the order we will go in. Each performer will do four songs. When you're next on the list, be tuned and ready when the performer starts his third song. If you need anything special sound-wise, let me know. I'm the host, so I go first."

 

Everyone there knows when they are on.

 

The others were more like "open jams" where you put your name on a list and the host would call you up at some point, and "you're up next" could mean anywhere from after the next song to an hour later because the host's friends just came in and want to play side one of "Dark Side of the Moon" on acordion, banjo, and kazoo.

 

It's all just for fun anyway. The structured ones are cool because you know exactly what's going on and when, and the open jams are cool because you might get to play more than you expected and may get to jam with a band. It's cool when you're used to playing a song by yourself on your couch and you get a chance to play it with a full band backing you up.

 

I must admit that "Rock and Roll all Night" sounded way better with the band than it did with just me and my acoustic.

[Yamaneck]

 

Ah! Just get over it. "It's all about the Music" not you.

 

 

 

Well said.