Members ido1957 Posted January 14, 2011 Members Share Posted January 14, 2011 Love songs are not very "academic" in their verbage, but I'm not trying to write a thesis - haha. Let me know what you think. http://www.lightningmp3.com/live/file.php?id=26481 Here's the lyrics so you can read along while it plays.... Back In My Arms Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stackabones Posted January 14, 2011 Members Share Posted January 14, 2011 I really dig it. Bright, poppy rock. I must admit, I was really hoping that you had written a song called, "Love Songs Are Not Always Academic." That's a really intriguing title. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted January 14, 2011 Members Share Posted January 14, 2011 Agree with Stack about the engaging pop rock feel. Mostly, it feels very well crafted, musically and lyrically... except I have a problem with this stanza: Am I in your dreams Do you yearn for me Am I a long forgotten love Or just a faded memory Of someone you've been dreaming of ... and, really, my only problem is that or -- the way I read it, a long forgotten love is a faded memory. Otherwise, I think it's solidly what it set out to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ido1957 Posted January 14, 2011 Author Members Share Posted January 14, 2011 Agree with Stack about the engaging pop rock feel. Mostly, it feels very well crafted, musically and lyrically... except I have a problem with this stanza: ... and, really, my only problem is that or -- the way I read it, a long forgotten love is a faded memory. Otherwise, I think it's solidly what it set out to be. Thanks B2B - here's my interpretation Am I in your dreams, Do you yearn for me (really misses me all the time) Am I a long forgotten love (no memory of me whatsoever ) Or just a faded memory (foggy, can't quite remember me/face/what I was like - fading but not yet gone) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted January 14, 2011 Members Share Posted January 14, 2011 Thanks B2B - here's my interpretation Am I in your dreams, Do you yearn for me (really misses me all the time) Am I a long forgotten love (no memory of me whatsoever ) Or just a faded memory (foggy, can't quite remember me/face/what I was like - fading but not yet gone) Ah... the phantom comma. (I seldom use conventional punctuation in my lyrics, either.) Yeah, that makes semantic and grammatical sense, then, as a series of three mutually exclusive possibilities. Still, the relative semantic proximity of the latter two in apposition to the more distant first possibility does nag my ear, just a little. But, in the big picture, a small nag.* Good work! Someone was going to do it, so I thought I'd just cut to the chase... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted January 15, 2011 Members Share Posted January 15, 2011 Nice song, killer solo, good job. With some keyboards this could be a classic Cars song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ido1957 Posted January 15, 2011 Author Members Share Posted January 15, 2011 Nice song, killer solo, good job. With some keyboards this could be a classic Cars song. Thanks man..... Love the Cars - they were very big when I started playing. I played their songs many many times.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ido1957 Posted January 17, 2011 Author Members Share Posted January 17, 2011 Just a friendly bump for any more comments.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted January 17, 2011 Members Share Posted January 17, 2011 I say...to heck with ....semantic and grammatical sense This is just a great rock song!! After the first 'since you been gone' (love the way you deliver that phrase, btw) I was pleading for a guitar break, which you sharply delivered next time around. You made me wait.......it felt even better. Excellent tune! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted January 17, 2011 Moderators Share Posted January 17, 2011 Nice! Actually it strikes me a cool cross of the Cars and the Grass Roots! Cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MarkofCainband Posted January 17, 2011 Members Share Posted January 17, 2011 I think it's a great tune. The only suggestion I could make that hasn't been said already is a small arrangement thing. I think the chorus would really stand out more and be taken to that next level with some backing vocals of some type. Either a harmony line or even some sustained notes behind the vocal (think You Really Got Me by the Kinks and the like...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Marshal Posted January 17, 2011 Members Share Posted January 17, 2011 Like it a lot. The chorus seems inconsistent to me. The tenses seem to flip flop back and forth. I'd think it could be clearer; something like: Am I in your dreams Do you yearn for me Am I a not-forgotten love Or just a faded memory No longer that you're dreaming of (I know that's a little awkward. But it's your song. You work it out ) I suppose I'd like some clue as to why he did the stupid thing he did to let her go. Either that or show some remorse. But it's fine for a pop tune. A pop tune is all about the groove. And it's got a great groove. Great vocal. I think you could use Grace to sign harmony. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rockinrobby Posted January 18, 2011 Members Share Posted January 18, 2011 I think this is knocked out of the park. Fabulous vocal delivery, crisp mix, great tones on the guitars, punchy drums, great lyrics, I have to call this a 10 on 10, hat's off exposing my shiny bald head! I posted a link to it on my FB page. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tbry Posted January 18, 2011 Members Share Posted January 18, 2011 You did good again...nice vocals...!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ido1957 Posted January 18, 2011 Author Members Share Posted January 18, 2011 Thanks LeonardScaper, Lee Knight, MarkofCainband, Marshal, and rockinrobby. It would be great if Grace did some backups - The ones she did for Summer Love came out great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted January 18, 2011 Members Share Posted January 18, 2011 Oh what? Me? I just realised I haven't listened to this yet. lol. I'll do backups if ya like, man. Love to! (when I can sing again *rolling eyes*) I love this song actually. I can also hear The Cars...and something else, but what I don't know... My vocals, if I do 'em, would be different from Summer Love. These ones I'd feel would be more Linda Ronstadt or Alanna Miles than Stevie Nicks / gentle Eagles style. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rockinrobby Posted January 18, 2011 Members Share Posted January 18, 2011 Chick singers are to be coddled, appreciated, stroked, valued... We all need chick singers :-) Guy singers are a dime a dozen! Chick singers are well? You're? You know what you are!?? LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted January 18, 2011 Members Share Posted January 18, 2011 LOL, do I sir? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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