Members RoboChrist Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 ORDo engineers take all the fun out of Christmas?There are approximately two and one-half billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that, for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.7 miles per household; a total trip of 75.6 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving faster than 675 miles per second -- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can (at best) run at the rate of 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (about three pounds), the sleigh is carrying approximately 570 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that a "flying" reindeer could pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them -- Santa would need 378,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 38,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). Six hundred thousand tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 mps. in 0.001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. Merry Christmas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members i_wanna_les_paul Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 This is all assuming that Santa falls within our realm of physics and does not have a deeper understanding of the space-time continuum. If there really is a fat man in a red suit using labor of the elven kind to mass produce enough toys for those 108 million households, to which he delivers using caribou and a traditional sleigh, why would it be ludicrous to think that he can either bend, warp or fold time to accomplish this task? Maybe it's the engineers who have small minds and need to become more open to the option that Santa really is a physicist who got tired of his day job. Dustin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PaulyWally Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 That's the greatest thing I've read this year!! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members B-Bottom Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 It's called magic........duh!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ToeJamFootball Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 great thread man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PaulyWally Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 Originally posted by B-Bottom It's called magic........duh!!!! Shutup... you flippin non-believers!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Funkee1 Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 That's a bold faced Lie!! i saw him yesterday at the Lakewood Mall, and then again later, playing a bell in front of the Ralphs Grocery store! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lug Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 Originally posted by bassgeek That's a bold faced Lie!! i saw him yesterday at the Lakewood Mall, and then again later, playing a bell in front of the Ralphs Grocery store! +1 and I saw him in Texas at almost the same time, giving credence to his ability to travel fast. I think these "engineers" are the same "smoke and mirrors" boys that are behind all this Global Warming nonsense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 72Rick Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 Originally posted by lug +1 and I saw him in Texas at almost the same time, giving credence to his ability to travel fast. I think these "engineers" are the same "smoke and mirrors" boys that are behind all this Global Warming nonsense. Ya! And I saw him yesterday at the Cafeteria here at work durring lunch!He looks allot like the Cook! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PaulyWally Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 Yeah... right...And I saw him last night at Slim's drinking Irish Car Bombs. He couldn't even stay on his stool... much less drive a sleigh.Explain THAT to me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bassman1956 Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 Screw reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AntiStuff Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 Originally posted by PaulyWally And I saw him last night at Slim's drinking Irish Car Bombs. MMMMMMMM, Irish Car Bombs........Santa is obviously a robot from the future with the capability to change from matter to energy and back at will, therefore being able to break the speed of light and travel through time. I'm guessing he uses some form of matter/anti-mater and quantum vacuum powerplant to generate all that energy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rikshaw Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 we had a busload of santas at the gig last night. it was awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bholder Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 I think some engineers are getting coal in their stockings this year! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members FreestyleIntruder Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 welcome to 15 years ago!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ec437 Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 Originally posted by FreestyleIntruder welcome to 15 years ago!! See, you have the idea. Santa travels through time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members catphish Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 I'd like to point out that those comments look like they would have more likely come from a physicist and/or a mathmatician. Don't blame us engineers for everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ec437 Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 Originally posted by catphish I'd like to point out that those comments look like they would have more likely come from a physicist and/or a mathmatician. Don't blame us engineers for everything. Hey, no one said you could talk.Besides, santa says leading engineers are dead, and I think that carries a little more weight:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tylytle Posted December 22, 2006 Members Share Posted December 22, 2006 Originally posted by bassman1956 Screw reality. +1 Way over rated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DevilRaysFan Posted December 23, 2006 Members Share Posted December 23, 2006 thread closed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ec437 Posted December 23, 2006 Members Share Posted December 23, 2006 Originally posted by DevilRaysFan thread closed No it isn't:D On a slightly more serious note, everyone knows Santa was born in 1835, so that tombstone can't possibly be real. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tapaugh Posted December 23, 2006 Members Share Posted December 23, 2006 Sounds like some engineers received a few too many Erector sets from Santa when they were kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jonathan_matos5 Posted December 23, 2006 Members Share Posted December 23, 2006 Originally posted by AntiStuff MMMMMMMM, Irish Car Bombs........ Santa is obviously a robot from the future. look its santa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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