Members The Real MC Posted May 21, 2007 Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 I just wrote my final alimony check to that scheming vindictive manipulative witch that I divorced three years ago. FREE AT LAST! *pops cork on champagne bottle* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members guitargod0dmw Posted May 21, 2007 Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 Congrats!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members B-Bottom Posted May 21, 2007 Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 Congrats! any plans on what you'll be doing with the extra loot? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members picker13 Posted May 21, 2007 Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 So, have you scratched out the word "Alimony" on your budget ledger and replaced it with "BGAF"* yet? *bass gear acquisition fund Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Funkee1 Posted May 21, 2007 Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 Sayyyyy!!!! That IS good news! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members The Real MC Posted May 21, 2007 Author Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 Congrats! any plans on what you'll be doing with the extra loot? I'm saving the extra loot to buy my next house. I had to sell my last house as part of the divorce agreement. Only in America can a wife cheat on her husband and you still have to give her half of everything and sell the house. NEVER AGAIN! Gear? I got enough of that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Funkee1 Posted May 21, 2007 Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 I'm saving the extra loot to buy my next house. I had to sell my last house as part of the divorce agreement. Only in America can a wife cheat on her husband and you still have to give her half of everything and sell the house. NEVER AGAIN! Gear? I got enough of that... .....and you know they don't have to claim Alimony or child support on their taxes, but You DO??????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Fireball_73 Posted May 21, 2007 Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RobRoy Posted May 21, 2007 Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 I just wrote my final alimony check to that scheming vindictive manipulative witch that I divorced three years ago.FREE AT LAST! *pops cork on champagne bottle* For me it was five years, and the last child support ended at the same time. $3400 a month... Yeah, it makes a big difference financially, but the best part is that you no longer feel like you are on parole all the time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Funkee1 Posted May 21, 2007 Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 For me it was five years, and the last child support ended at the same time. $3400 a month...Yeah, it makes a big difference financially, but the best part is that you no longer feel like you are on parole all the time...There, but for the grace of God, go I........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RobRoy Posted May 21, 2007 Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 There, but for the grace of God, go I........... Yeah, in my case it was an end to just over 20 years and I didn't see it coming... But the story below is so close to my story (and, I have learned, many other men) it is downright scary: Universal Divorce A Male's Perspective On A Bad Idea If you were to believe those brawny viragos at NOW, you might think that universal divorce was a force for liberation of women, and just a splendid thing for kids. You know the line: marriage is the vilest form of chattel slavery, men molest their kids when they're not beating them like drums, and such like. (Actually, I can't think of a better authority on children than 12,000 squalling lesbians who don't have any. Can you?) Well, let me offer a revisionist view of divorce, from a male point of view: After a few years under one roof, Willy Bill and Cupcake no longer get along well. Part of it is Willy Bill's fault, and he knows it. Part of it is Cupcake's fault, but she doesn't know it. She expected marriage to fulfill her fantasies and make her happy. It didn't, because married people are just married people, and life ain't all ham hocks and home fries. This too is Willy Bill's fault. Life, that is. Since Cupcake wasn't happy being single, and wasn't happy being married, she now figures she'll be happy divorced. She's going to have a dynamite social life, not like living with what's-his-name. She'll have a fascinating job and a swell place. Joe Perfect will appear on a white horse and life will be roses again. She forgets that it never was, and anyway there just isn't that much Prozac. The divorce occurs. Which devastates the kids. She says it's better for them to have one parent than to have parents who don't get along. This is the Enabling Fantasy of divorce. Ten years later the kids will still be trying to get mommy and daddy back together. Next, Cupcake learns that the business world is not importunate in its desire for women of thirty-six with no resume. Day care is expensive. As kids get older, their toys cost more. What's-his-name may have been inadequate as a fantasy mechanic, but he did have a sizable paycheck. Joe Perfect doesn't show up, which is hardly surprising. Cupcake isn't Suzy Prom Queen any longer. Most guys shy away from women who always have kids in tow. They have either had kids, and don't want more, or else never wanted them in the first place. As men get older, marriage becomes less important to them. Cupcake finds that the men she might date, typically two to eight years older than she is, are a sorry lot. The good ones have been taken. The leftovers are either gay, or confirmed bachelors, or three-time losers looking for their fourth divorce, or such awful dweebs that nobody wanted them in the first place. Or they've been burned in one marriage and aren't about to make that mistake again. In the divorce, either she got the friends or she didn't. When a couple split, the friends seem to think they can continue to be friends with only one of the former couple. If he got them, she's horribly lonely. If he didn't, she finds that married couples, which most of them were, don't want single people around. Four's company; three's a triangle. If she's attractive, it's worse. Then come the long empty weekends when nobody calls. Depression arrives. She has a hard time growing a new social life because the kids are always there. Depression is two to four times more common in women than men, depending on whose figures you like, and she's got reasons to be depressed. No retirement, for example. She gets a prescription for lithium. Try finding a single woman past forty who isn't on Prozac, lithium, Depacote, Zoloft, or Welbutrin, all the M&Ms of the irremediably unhappy. You can't divorce a car payment. Cupcake finds that she has to have a full-time job, and maybe some part-time jobs too. Days only have twenty-four hours. She doesn't have time to be a full-time mother and have an adult's social life. Often motherhood draws the short straw. She starts leaving young kids alone for long periods while she goes out. By no means all divorced mothers do this, but more do than the newspapers tell you. Latch-keyism becomes inevitable. The kids, unsupervised, feeling neglected, angry because Daddy left, begin to get into trouble. Not infrequently mommy comes to resent her offspring. They're always there, always whining and fighting and wanting this and that. They make her life miserable, which doesn't happen with two parents, and there's no respite in sight. At best she becomes irritable and seems cold. At worst she slaps the hell out of them. Then, dear God, puberty hits. Other things being equal, women are better parents than men for small children. A man would go crazy. For older kids, no. At adolescence they begin asserting themselves and testing Cupcake. A fifteen-year-old girl makes Attila the Hun look like a milk-fed pansy in lace shorts. With mammals like that, Cupcake will soon reflect, no wonder the dinosaurs died out. The kids walk over her, becoming contemptuous. She comes close to hating them for it. A man would say, "No. You aren't going to run away with a feeble-minded dope-dealer who plays bass guitar. Because I say so. We've finished talking about it." It would stick. Women don't do this as well. Relations with the ex run from none to good. Like as not, she hates him because the divorce didn't make her happy. Frequently she gets back at him through the kids. An angry man smacks someone. A woman's aggression is passive: She withholds sex or, after the divorce, the kids, while earnestly pretending she's doing something else. He gets no influence in raising the tads, doesn't get the report cards or school pictures, isn't consulted. At best, he gets called only when the kids get into trouble and she can't handle it. Daddy becomes The Heavy. Five years later when they figure it out, they will be grateful. But that's five years off. And there's nothing he can do about it: "joint custody" or not, if she doesn't comply, his choice is to put up with it, or sue mommy, which is not the high road to a kid's heart. He puts up with it. Don't you love it? I mean, what a deal. The kids hate the divorce like poison, Willy Bill misses his kids horribly, and Cupcake gets to grow old by herself in a bleak apartment with a cat named Fluffy. If that's not social advance, I don't know what is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members venturawest Posted May 21, 2007 Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 (whole lotta bitter stuff deleted for brevity) If that's not social advance, I don't know what is. and y'all wonder why i've never been married at 36. committmentphobic? HELL YES. and there's a fine reason, as quaintly illustrated above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MrJoshua Posted May 21, 2007 Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 The best thing in that long post was the part about how the woman wasn't happy single, wasn't happy married, and won't be happy divorced. That doesn't just hold true for women, though. I can't tell you how many people I know that wonder why they aren't happy with their relationship but think I'm full of crap when I tell them it's because they've never spent enough time alone to figure out what actually makes them happy. It's awfully hard to be happy with someone when you've never figured out what it takes to be happy on your own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RobRoy Posted May 21, 2007 Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 and y'all wonder why i've never been married at 36. committmentphobic? HELL YES. and there's a fine reason, as quaintly illustrated above. That article is several years old now. The author (fredoneverything.net) has several articles there about divorce. His problem is not with the women so much as with the system. Well, it is with the women too. He thinks a young man is nuts to marry any young woman who is the product of the current american culture, regardless of her race. He is a big fan of asian women (actually FROM asia) and Mexican women. About three years ago he put his money where his mouth is and ex-patriated to mexico. He now has a mexican "significant other" and writes no small number of articles about her, her daughter and life in mexico. It is very revealing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RobRoy Posted May 21, 2007 Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 The best thing in that long post was the part about how the woman wasn't happy single, wasn't happy married, and won't be happy divorced. That doesn't just hold true for women, though. I can't tell you how many people I know that wonder why they aren't happy with their relationship but think I'm full of crap when I tell them it's because they've never spent enough time alone to figure out what actually makes them happy.It's awfully hard to be happy with someone when you've never figured out what it takes to be happy on your own. Very true. I am a firm believer in the simple fact that all people are loveable and hateable. Whether or not you love your spouse has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you. It is very empowering and stops the blame game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BeeTL Posted May 21, 2007 Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 I'm six months into a 48 month alimony sentence. The article above is just scary. Cupcake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JeffBass Posted May 21, 2007 Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 I'm happy for you Real MC. Alimony is BS!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldivor Posted May 21, 2007 Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 CONGRATS MAN!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Undead Sycip Posted May 21, 2007 Members Share Posted May 21, 2007 The {censored}ing you get for the the {censored}ing you got. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NeonVomit Posted May 22, 2007 Members Share Posted May 22, 2007 That long post has an awful lot of sweeping generalisations, but the overall tone is about right. Congrats about the gear *cough* i mean house money (enough gear? what?! who can have enough gear?!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members J. Posted May 22, 2007 Members Share Posted May 22, 2007 For me it was five years, and the last child support ended at the same time. $3400 a month... Yeah, it makes a big difference financially, but the best part is that you no longer feel like you are on parole all the time... Thirty-four hundred dollars a month?!? That's over $40k a year. A lot of folks on HCBF don't even make that much! You are one lucky guy... I guess... err... (thinks of what forty grand each year for five years could buy...). At least now you're finally rid of that ball and chain! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members walkerci Posted May 22, 2007 Members Share Posted May 22, 2007 and y'all wonder why i've never been married at 36. committmentphobic? HELL YES. and there's a fine reason, as quaintly illustrated above. Aw hell VW, it's really not that bad. IT"S WORSE! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hi.flyer Posted May 22, 2007 Members Share Posted May 22, 2007 if you guys hate women so much, maybe you should just go gay? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Cougarbruin Posted May 22, 2007 Members Share Posted May 22, 2007 If you were to believe those brawny viragos at NOW, you might think that universal divorce was a force for liberation of women, and just a splendid thing for kids. You know the line: marriage is the vilest form of chattel slavery, men molest their kids when they're not beating them like drums, and such like. (Actually, I can't think of a better authority on children than 12,000 squalling lesbians who don't have any. Can you?) Well, let me offer a revisionist view of divorce, from a male point of view: After a few years under one roof, Willy Bill and Cupcake no longer get along well. Part of it is Willy Bill's fault, and he knows it. Part of it is Cupcake's fault, but she doesn't know it. She expected marriage to fulfill her fantasies and make her happy. It didn't, because married people are just married people, and life ain't all ham hocks and home fries. This too is Willy Bill's fault. Life, that is. Since Cupcake wasn't happy being single, and wasn't happy being married, she now figures she'll be happy divorced. She's going to have a dynamite social life, not like living with what's-his-name. She'll have a fascinating job and a swell place. Joe Perfect will appear on a white horse and life will be roses again. She forgets that it never was, and anyway there just isn't that much Prozac. The divorce occurs. Which devastates the kids. She says it's better for them to have one parent than to have parents who don't get along. This is the Enabling Fantasy of divorce. Ten years later the kids will still be trying to get mommy and daddy back together. Next, Cupcake learns that the business world is not importunate in its desire for women of thirty-six with no resume. Day care is expensive. As kids get older, their toys cost more. What's-his-name may have been inadequate as a fantasy mechanic, but he did have a sizable paycheck. Joe Perfect doesn't show up, which is hardly surprising. Cupcake isn't Suzy Prom Queen any longer. Most guys shy away from women who always have kids in tow. They have either had kids, and don't want more, or else never wanted them in the first place. As men get older, marriage becomes less important to them. Cupcake finds that the men she might date, typically two to eight years older than she is, are a sorry lot. The good ones have been taken. The leftovers are either gay, or confirmed bachelors, or three-time losers looking for their fourth divorce, or such awful dweebs that nobody wanted them in the first place. Or they've been burned in one marriage and aren't about to make that mistake again. In the divorce, either she got the friends or she didn't. When a couple split, the friends seem to think they can continue to be friends with only one of the former couple. If he got them, she's horribly lonely. If he didn't, she finds that married couples, which most of them were, don't want single people around. Four's company; three's a triangle. If she's attractive, it's worse. Then come the long empty weekends when nobody calls. Depression arrives. She has a hard time growing a new social life because the kids are always there. Depression is two to four times more common in women than men, depending on whose figures you like, and she's got reasons to be depressed. No retirement, for example. She gets a prescription for lithium. Try finding a single woman past forty who isn't on Prozac, lithium, Depacote, Zoloft, or Welbutrin, all the M&Ms of the irremediably unhappy. You can't divorce a car payment. Cupcake finds that she has to have a full-time job, and maybe some part-time jobs too. Days only have twenty-four hours. She doesn't have time to be a full-time mother and have an adult's social life. Often motherhood draws the short straw. She starts leaving young kids alone for long periods while she goes out. By no means all divorced mothers do this, but more do than the newspapers tell you. Latch-keyism becomes inevitable. The kids, unsupervised, feeling neglected, angry because Daddy left, begin to get into trouble. Not infrequently mommy comes to resent her offspring. They're always there, always whining and fighting and wanting this and that. They make her life miserable, which doesn't happen with two parents, and there's no respite in sight. At best she becomes irritable and seems cold. At worst she slaps the hell out of them. Then, dear God, puberty hits. Other things being equal, women are better parents than men for small children. A man would go crazy. For older kids, no. At adolescence they begin asserting themselves and testing Cupcake. A fifteen-year-old girl makes Attila the Hun look like a milk-fed pansy in lace shorts. With mammals like that, Cupcake will soon reflect, no wonder the dinosaurs died out. The kids walk over her, becoming contemptuous. She comes close to hating them for it. A man would say, "No. You aren't going to run away with a feeble-minded dope-dealer who plays bass guitar. Because I say so. We've finished talking about it." It would stick. Women don't do this as well. Relations with the ex run from none to good. Like as not, she hates him because the divorce didn't make her happy. Frequently she gets back at him through the kids. An angry man smacks someone. A woman's aggression is passive: She withholds sex or, after the divorce, the kids, while earnestly pretending she's doing something else. He gets no influence in raising the tads, doesn't get the report cards or school pictures, isn't consulted. At best, he gets called only when the kids get into trouble and she can't handle it. Daddy becomes The Heavy. Five years later when they figure it out, they will be grateful. But that's five years off. And there's nothing he can do about it: "joint custody" or not, if she doesn't comply, his choice is to put up with it, or sue mommy, which is not the high road to a kid's heart. He puts up with it. Don't you love it? I mean, what a deal. The kids hate the divorce like poison, Willy Bill misses his kids horribly, and Cupcake gets to grow old by herself in a bleak apartment with a cat named Fluffy. If that's not social advance, I don't know what is. I don't know where you drug up that little waste of 20 minutes, but its hardly accurate or worthwhile. Nothing like promoting stereotypes to keep things the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Undead Sycip Posted May 22, 2007 Members Share Posted May 22, 2007 How do we form our generalizations and stereotypes? By seeing these things happen in real life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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