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I've hit 30, have a new family.. is my "career" as a live musician over?


cre8ivjay

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I think being >30 doesn't end your music career, but it does unfortunately limit you to only being allowed to play crappy blues covers and being a clapton hendrix blues/rock wannabe band whose impression of creativity involves a phaser and overdrive. :(

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Originally posted by meep

I think being >30 doesn't end your music career, but it does unfortunately limit you to only being allowed to play crappy blues covers and being a clapton hendrix blues/rock wannabe band whose impression of creativity involves a phaser and overdrive.
:(



That's silly.

In fact, it's bull{censored}.

I play in 2 rock bands. One is an old-school punk rock and roll band. We do all originals. The side band is a roots rock band. We also do all originals. NOT "blues/rock," nor Clapton/Hendrix wanna-be's.

I'm 47.

BK

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Originally posted by meep

I think being >30 doesn't end your music career, but it does unfortunately limit you to only being allowed to play crappy blues covers and being a clapton hendrix blues/rock wannabe band whose impression of creativity involves a phaser and overdrive.
:(



Another over-30 here in disagreement. Why do you think this type of band is your only option? I have spent most of my musical life in originals bands, playing a creating my own compositions, which sound nothing like what you describe.

And I'm not about to stop now ...

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I am 33 years old and I just returned to gigging in June after taking 12 months off for the birth of my son. We are currently expecting our second child in May of next year, I have zero intention of quitting.

It all comes down in my opinion to two things: One being balance, which I see has been brought up a lot. Don't spend every waking moment boring your wife or family about band, band, band, band. There is more to life...take part in it with your family.
The other thing is to set yourself up in a realistic situation that well help you achieve the balance that you will need. The band that I am in now does not generally rehearse...we play covers and most of us are established enough on our instruments to pickup songs on the go. So the time spent away from home is spent peforming...not in the basement.
One other thing that I do is that I take every penny of money that I make from performing and I give it to the wife to pay bills, buy clothes, whatever she wants to do with it. So that way, she views my time away from home...as helping the family.

Just some thoughts from a dumb bass player...

:D

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Originally posted by jeffery.addison

I am 33 years old and I just returned to gigging in June after taking 12 months off for the birth of my son. We are currently expecting our second child in May of next year, I have zero intention of quitting.


It all comes down in my opinion to two things: One being balance, which I see has been brought up a lot. Don't spend every waking moment boring your wife or family about band, band, band, band. There is more to life...take part in it with your family.

The other thing is to set yourself up in a realistic situation that well help you achieve the balance that you will need. The band that I am in now does not generally rehearse...we play covers and most of us are established enough on our instruments to pickup songs on the go. So the time spent away from home is spent peforming...not in the basement.

One other thing that I do is that I take every penny of money that I make from performing and I give it to the wife to pay bills, buy clothes, whatever she wants to do with it. So that way, she views my time away from home...as helping the family.


Just some thoughts from a dumb bass player...


:D



Sounds pretty damn smart to me.

Are you sure you're a bass player?

:p;):thu:

BK

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I quit my band after my 2nd child was born. My wife had a C-section and we didn't have any family around to help out. I figured that quitting was the right thing to do.

To make a long story short, I started slippin' into darkness. I tried open jams to keep my hand in, but I would come home more bummed out than when I left.

After three months my wife said "Bobby, you better get yourself another band." My former band had taken on and dumped three other guitarists. They were happy to have me back.

It's clear that playing out once or twice a week somehow balances out the rest of my life. Quite simply, I'm a better husband, father and employee when I'm playing in a great band.

My wife has always been completely supportive and encouraging of my playing. It means more work for her and time away from me, but she pointed out something that I didn't realize--that I'm not complete unless I'm making music regularly. She has a simple statement about spouses (mostly wives) who don't support or actively discourage they're mates who love and need to make music: "She doesn't love him."

Cool, huh?

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Hell, gigging can be a family affair.

We were playing an afternoon benefit gig for 350 people a couple weeks ago that my wife and kids attended. My daughter, who happend to be my eldest at 4 years, came up onstage and joined us for the whole 2nd set with her Pepto Bismol pink uke.

Everybody had a blast. The band was smiling the whole time and the audience loved her there. I was surprised how professional she acted. She took her cues from what the band was doing and never acted like a silly 4 year old. A couple times, she turned around, game me a big smile and a thumbs-up and went back to playing. My heart melted.

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Originally posted by Sterno

Hell, gigging can be a family affair.


We were playing an afternoon benefit gig for 350 people a couple weeks ago that my wife and kids attended. My daughter, who happend to be my eldest at 4 years, came up onstage and joined us for the whole 2nd set with her Pepto Bismol pink uke...


...She took her cues from what the band was doing and never acted like a silly 4 year old. A couple times, she turned around, game me a big smile and a thumbs-up and went back to playing. My heart melted.



(Everyone together now!) Awww... :)

But you're right. She keeps this up, by age 10, she'll be a decent guitar player and at 16, she will truly shred.

I bought the latest Stevie Wonder album, "A Time 2 Love" and he's got his daughter, Aisha, singing with him on a couple tunes...The same daughter he wrote "Isn't She Lovely" about back in the '70s.

Heck, even Yoko Ono has Sean Lennon play bass for her..

In general, be there for your kids..but be there for your music too! In the end you'll set a great example for your kids.

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Originally posted by Sterno

I quit my band after my 2nd child was born. My wife had a C-section and we didn't have any family around to help out. I figured that quitting was the right thing to do.


To make a long story short, I started slippin' into darkness. I tried open jams to keep my hand in, but I would come home more bummed out than when I left.


After three months my wife said "Bobby, you better get yourself another band." My former band had taken on and dumped three other guitarists. They were happy to have me back.


It's clear that playing out once or twice a week somehow balances out the rest of my life. Quite simply, I'm a better husband, father and employee when I'm playing in a great band.


My wife has always been completely supportive and encouraging of my playing. It means more work for her and time away from me, but she pointed out something that I didn't realize--that I'm not complete unless I'm making music regularly. She has a simple statement about spouses (mostly wives) who don't support or actively discourage they're mates who love and need to make music: "She doesn't love him."


Cool, huh?


Nice post, very nice!:)

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Originally posted by Brian Krashpad



Looks like a guitar, but missing a string! Everybody knows basses have 4!


Btw, I kid because I also play bass sometimes:


BKbass2004-09-10.jpg

Now you can tease me about playing with a pick.


;)

BK



*points and laughs*

PICK USER!

:p


I actually have nothing againts using a pick for bass; I used to use one for one song that was just too fast to finger pick. And sometimes the music just sounds better when played that way...

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Interesting thread...

I'm 47 and we have a one year old and a two year old, both boys, both adopted. My wife is 50 and I tell you its tough having two little ones at our age!

She works two days a week and I work full time.

I'm still gigging (top 40 rock/dance cover band) about 3 nights per month plus making about half of my Sunday afternoon teen mass church gigs - thankfully I get paid for those as well.

Like other posters, I really feel like I need to gig. It's so much fun and so different than all the other things I do (I work as an environmental engineer) and I can't imagine stopping. It takes some organization, like if my wife works on a Saturday (she leaves the house at 6:30 am) and I've played Friday night, I'll (hopefully) have a babysitter set up to arrive at 6:30 so I can sleep in. Once or twice I've had to care for the kids all day by myself on like 3 hours sleep (not much fun). It's caused some arguments and disagreements but overall its working out OK, and I figure it will get easier as the kids get older.

I love to gig and i can't imagine stopping.

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Originally posted by liverdust

Simply put:


If your an artist you have to express your self to survive.

 

 

Exactly. You'll still be breathing and walking, but inside you'll be dead.

 

Impossible for anyone who's not artistically inclined to understand this concept.

 

Terry D.

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Originally posted by MrKnobs



Exactly. You'll still be breathing and walking, but inside you'll be dead.


Impossible for anyone who's not artistically inclined to understand this concept.


Terry D.

 

 

The latter bit is untrue.

 

My wife is not artistically inclined yet she understands my need to be in bands and to continue to write and otherwise help create original music.

 

It may be imposssible for the unartistically inclined to feel what we feel, in the way we feel it, but they can be sympatico.

 

BK

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Originally posted by Brian Krashpad

My wife is not artistically inclined yet she understands my need to be in bands and to continue to write and otherwise help create original music.


It may be imposssible for the unartistically inclined to feel what we feel, in the way we feel it, but they can be sympatico.


BK

 

 

Right.

 

Seeing that it is so, is different than understanding it because you feel it too.

 

Unless of course your wife has the artistic temperament as well.

 

Terry D.

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