Members thriftyshirt Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 This is from Rag magazine, a perfect example of why the music scene in Florida is generally bollocks: "Guitarist Wanted-Loud, crunchy, MoFo wanted for original Hard Rock Band. Approach like Zakk-Godsmack, Saliva, Korn, etc.. Marshall and Mesa Boys only need apply. Line Six, Peauey, Carium (etc). HOmos stay home and piss with the pups on the porch. Tattooed outlaws welcome( long or short hair). Serious situation, will surround you with some badass MoFos. bring ego, leave bad habits at the door, but ABSOLUTELY- talent a must- Pros Only! Eric- XXX-XXX-XXXX" [nelson]Ha-Ha.[/nelson] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members elbow Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 Originally posted by thriftyshirt This is from Rag magazine, a perfect example of why the music scene in Florida is generally bollocks: "Guitarist Wanted-Loud, crunchy, MoFo wanted for original Hard Rock Band. Approach like Zakk-Godsmack, Saliva, Korn, etc.. Marshall and Mesa Boys only need apply. Line Six, Peauey, Carium (etc). HOmos stay home and piss with the pups on the porch. Tattooed outlaws welcome( long or short hair). Serious situation, will surround you with some badass MoFos. bring ego, leave bad habits at the door, but ABSOLUTELY- talent a must- Pros Only! Eric- XXX-XXX-XXXX" [nelson]Ha-Ha.[/nelson] If you were a pro player, would you answer this crap? 1. I bet it's REAL original 2. WTF is a Carium? 3. A homophobe in FL = one very busy dude 4. Bring the ego? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members squealie Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 I'd like to audition... if only to play my Line6 and snort an 8 ball off the hood of their minivan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members THBv2.0 Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 Wow!!! I always wanted to be a badass MoFo! :thu: Where do I sign up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Markus V Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 Originally posted by elbow If you were a pro player, would you answer this crap? My thoughts exactly... I wonder if carium is badly misspelled carvin?!? Well, that ad is just ridiculous with its numerous spelling errors and overall cheesiness. I'd bet they won't get too many calls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bandard Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 I'm a bald computer consultant in Florida with a Squier Flaticaster. Should I answer the ad? I'll bring my best Barry Manilow chops. I hope they know "Broardway", the George Benson version. Doo doo doo do do doo doo. How's my singing Senor Tatoo? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members protues9 Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 I dont know about florida... but tampa totaly sucks. caus you know, after a long discussion with myself, i've concluded most of the people here like being social more than they do music. Im not willing to do whatever it takes to put my self into scenes and social cirlces... so my outlet is the internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bonscottvocals Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 Originally posted by stansilverman I'm a bald computer consultant in Florida with a Squier Flaticaster. Should I answer the ad? I'll bring my best Barry Manilow chops. I hope they know "Broardway", the George Benson version. Doo doo doo do do doo doo. How's my singing Senor Tatoo? I'm going to audition with my Richard Carpenter chops and lay down "Toe the Line" by Toto. If these guys are what they think they are, they won't have a problem playing Boston - the singer should be able to hit the notes. Why do people think that misspelling and horrible syntax makes them sound bad-assed and professional? Looks more like some childish moron looking for another for a short-lived shot at playing free at the local metal clubs as the opener for other such wee-ners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bandard Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 Originally posted by bonscottvocals I'm going to audition with my Richard Carpenter chops Why do birds suddenly appear.... close to ({censored}in) you!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Brian Krashpad Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 Originally posted by thriftyshirt This is from Rag magazine, a perfect example of why the music scene in Florida is generally bollocks:"Guitarist Wanted-Loud, crunchy, MoFo wanted for original Hard Rock Band. Approach like Zakk-Godsmack, Saliva, Korn, etc.. Marshall and Mesa Boys only need apply. Line Six, Peauey, Carium (etc). HOmos stay home and piss with the pups on the porch. Tattooed outlaws welcome( long or short hair). Serious situation, will surround you with some badass MoFos. bring ego, leave bad habits at the door, but ABSOLUTELY- talent a must- Pros Only! Eric- XXX-XXX-XXXX"[nelson]Ha-Ha.[/nelson] There's very little of that sorta thing in GVL. Apparently you're in the wrong town. Or Rag is from the wrong town. Something like that. BK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RupertB Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 Nice! I'm sure that it'll net them a bunch of real cupcakes in short order. My favorite guitar player wanted ad was posted at raleighmusic.com a couple of years ago. After the obligatory "we play music like "X" "Y" & "Z", it ended with "Must be 16-19 years old, EXPERIENCED PROFESSIONALS ONLY!" [their caps] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lee Flier Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 LOL that's great. I got a laugh out of this one on craigslist: "Drummer needs the heaviest, fastest, baddest, most insane 2 mutha fukkas to get this bitch goin. My buddy already owns the bar and he needs someone to come in there and bust out the dry ice and spit blood on the strippers." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jackcheez Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 "Drummer needs the heaviest, fastest, baddest, most insane 2 mutha fukkas to get this bitch goin. My buddy already owns the bar and he needs someone to come in there and bust out the dry ice and spit blood on the strippers."This ad would get maximum response if they deleted most of it and just said... Drummer needs 2 mutha fukkas. Strippers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thriftyshirt Posted June 14, 2006 Author Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 Originally posted by Brian Krashpad There's very little of that sorta thing in GVL.Apparently you're in the wrong town. Or Rag is from the wrong town. Something like that.BK Rag mazazine is actually statewide. I don't know if its distributed in Gainesville, but its out from Tallahasee down to miami. However, it is seen as kind of a joke by every real musician I know of. As for being in the wrong town, you're dead on. I left out the phone number for privacy reasons, but from the area code I could tell the ad is from Broward. And if I had to sum up Broward bands in a paragraph, this ad would come pretty close. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thriftyshirt Posted June 14, 2006 Author Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 Originally posted by Lee Flier LOL that's great. I got a laugh out of this one on craigslist: "Drummer needs the heaviest, fastest, baddest, most insane 2 mutha fukkas to get this bitch goin. My buddy already owns the bar and he needs someone to come in there and bust out the dry ice and spit blood on the strippers." That is absolutely fabulous. We should turn this thread into a "Worst Musician Wanted ads of all time" thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RG450 Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 I have this strange feeling that both of those bands say "bro" a lot. Just a hunch. *mutha fukka**laughs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RG450 Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 How embarassing. I thought I was in OJ when I posted. Sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jon Doe Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 Isn't "Badass Musician" an oxymoron? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dmtnt Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 Originally posted by thriftyshirt And if I had to sum up Broward bands in a paragraph, this ad would come pretty close. Hey! My band is out of Broward! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bandard Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 I work in Broward. I gotta go! I hope I'm badass enough. Just in case, I'm bringing my pocket protector and swizzle sticks. My Ford Pinto can carry all of their Marshall Stacks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thriftyshirt Posted June 14, 2006 Author Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 Originally posted by dmtnt Hey! My band is out of Broward! So you'd agree then . I've lived here my whole life, and I'd say easily 90% of the bands down here are like this. Of course there are some exceptions, so I hope you're not offended. My band is based out of Delray, and we play in Broward all the time, so I'm included in the "South Florida Bands" category as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members squealie Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 Originally posted by Lee Flier needs someone to come in there and bust out the dry ice and spit blood on the strippers." Sold. Where is the audition? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dmtnt Posted June 14, 2006 Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 Originally posted by thriftyshirt So you'd agree then . I've lived here my whole life, and I'd say easily 90% of the bands down here are like this. Of course there are some exceptions, so I hope you're not offended. My band is based out of Delray, and we play in Broward all the time, so I'm included in the "South Florida Bands" category as well. Sadly, yes I would agree and no offense taken. I've been trying to put together a new project for the last 6 months and have dealt with every flaky wanna-be musician in this godforsaken state. Surprised I haven't run across these "outlaws", lol. On another note, I gotta make it a point to come check out your band. Have heard of you through other sources besides HC and it's all been good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thriftyshirt Posted June 14, 2006 Author Members Share Posted June 14, 2006 Originally posted by dmtnt Sadly, yes I would agree and no offense taken. I've been trying to put together a new project for the last 6 months and have dealt with every flaky wanna-be musician in this godforsaken state. Surprised I haven't run across these "outlaws", lol. On another note, I gotta make it a point to come check out your band. Have heard of you through other sources besides HC and it's all been good. It says in your location that your in Lake Worth...We're going to be playing at Brogue's in Downtown Lake Worth on August 4th. We're going to be in downtown Ft. Lauderdale sooner, at the Poorhouse on July 7th. I love to meet anybody from the forums. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bandard Posted June 15, 2006 Members Share Posted June 15, 2006 I'll try to make it! What kinda music you playing? I'm playing jazz with a hot chic singer wed cocktail hour at the Hibiscus Lounge near City Place. Last night was our second gig and it looks like we're gonna stick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.