Members onewhiteduck Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 Originally posted by Mickaroony About 10 years ago me and some mates where at the local swimming pool and we were letting some rip to see who got the most bubbles happening. One of the guys who I won't name (Scott) had a go, he suddenly turns around and starts swimming for the side off the pool....where all going WTF? Anyway as hes climbing out of the pool this massive log rolls out from the leg of his shorts back into the pool. This was the middle of summer and the pool was packed, use your imagination for the rest of the story I've never laughed that hard before on this forum. Oh man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members onewhiteduck Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 Originally posted by Abouttreefitty ==Years ago, I went to work with this horrible hangover. I was working at a nice pharmaceutical company. I got paged on my beeper and was looking for a phone. I saw an office door open and took a gamble on using the phone. As I was sitting in this really nice office, the urge to crack a rat was really strong so I lifted one cheek and let it rip. Bad move. Liquid napalm. I was wearing a long lab coat. The {censored} went through my pants, left a big stain on the labcoat and seeped into the chair I was sitting on. So now, I smell really bad, I gotta ditch the labcoat, my underwear, and somehow clean the pants I was wearing. I find a bathroom and grab a stall. Good thing I had a pocket knife. It's much easier to remove {censored} encrusted underwear with a knife. I ended up trying to flush the underwear because the mens room was constantly full of people. Instant clog. I got my jeans clean with lots of paper towels and water that also ended up in the clogged bowl. The was an 8" wet spot on my pants now. I had to steal another labcoat. In my search for a labcoat I walked by the office that I had fouled. There was a woman showing her chair to about 4 people. I'm dying here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tonemeister87 Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 I just read all the stories again. That one on the train has to be fake! Oh man, I haven't laughed so much in a long time! LMAO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ulank Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 Originally posted by tin whistle This is pretty gross but when I was about 20 I had this girlfriend who's girlfriend happened to coincindentally get picked up at some area rock club by my future brother-in-laws brother. *head explodes* So it was you!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ulank Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 My buddy told me about his woes once: He had Indian food for lunch one day in the city and had about a 45 minute drive home. As soon as he gets on the hiway, he starts getting a rumble. He's fighting it the whole way. Finally, he's about two blocks from his house and it's getting so bad, he's doing the ass-clench dance while trying to drive and he just had to let it go. It was so bad it bubbled up out the back of his jeans all over his sheepskin seat cover. Thankfully he was close to home, and the sheepskin seat cover was saved by the washing machine. Though I think he put that one on the passenger seat afterwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jem7vwh Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 This thread is GOLD! I can't stop laughing, oh my. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bob the dentist Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 Originally posted by jem7vwh This thread is GOLD! I can't stop laughing, oh my. +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members The Berzerker Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 Originally posted by Bradman006 That reminds me of that Jackass Vid where the guy is sprinting down the road naked {censored}ting himself. Funny you should mention that - one time me and my buddy were getting {censored}bag wasted watching the Jackass movie, and I'd eaten some SKETCHY chinese food earlier at work. anyway towards the end of the movie I was on about my 14th beer when the dodgy food caught up with me and - BOOM!! total instant {censored}storm in my pants I just immediatly left without saying anything and drove home, pulling what would later be dubbed the '{censored}pants smokebomb tm' btw, theyre about to release a 2nd Jackass movie, looks {censored}ing funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Abouttreefitty Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 Originally posted by The Berzerker Funny you should mention that - one time me and my buddy were getting {censored}bag wasted watching the Jackass movie, and I'd eaten some SKETCHY chinese food earlier at work. anyway towards the end of the movie I was on about my 14th beer when the dodgy food caught up with me and - BOOM!! total instant {censored}storm in my pants I just immediatly left without saying anything and drove home, pulling what would later be dubbed the '{censored}pants smokebomb tm ' btw, theyre about to release a 2nd Jackass movie, looks {censored}ing funny Is your name a reference to this wrestler? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sekler Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 lmao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members The Berzerker Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 Originally posted by Abouttreefitty Is your name a reference to this wrestler? shno Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bradman006 Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 {censored} humour is the best!!!! I love {censored}! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mr 5150 Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 That thread was genious. I remember everyone in the office wondering what the hell I was laughing my ass off at. The lab coat one was classic :D :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Whammyless Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 This thread rocks. I think I vaguely remember the old thread, I was just a lurker then. So, it's not a "{censored} my pants story" but along the same lines: Many years ago, I was at a restaurant at Magic Mountain with some friends. Several of us go to the bathroom to use the urinals and someone is in a stall frappin their ass like they're trying to get a VW bus out of it. I'm using a urinal trying not to laugh but then a friend of mine using the urnial next to me proceeds to make fart noises with his mouth really loudly, imitating the guy in the stall. Everytime the guy would go "plppp, plppp", my friend would over-emphasize and go, "PLPPPPP!!! PLPPPP!". I laughed so hard I was spraying piss everywhere except the urinal; luckily the urinals had the side guards! We all started busting up loudly and as we left and started to exit the restaurant, an old couple comes in and they're asking each other, "I wonder if this is a good place to eat?". One of my friends touches the old man's arm and says, "yeah, but just don't use the bathroom". I'm hoping to read more {censored} stories, this thread has some funny {censored}! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bradman006 Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 We were in the shopping mall one day after school and my brother turns to my mum with this horrified look on his face and sais 'mum, I farted and poo came out'. It was classic!!!!!!!!!!!!! (he was 11). I took him to the department store toilet and looked over the top as he wiped {censored} off his legs, making sure he did'nt miss any. We had to flush his jocks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jeverist Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 The lesson here is never fart to show off or to get back at someone...cause if you're not squeezing your ass cheeks together, sometimes you don't know what'll come out. Originally posted by Pepi Not at work but I remember riding home with my nephew and I raised my left cheek and said " Take that". I filled my pants full of {censored}. That was a fart that backfired on me. He had to smell {censored} the rest of the way home ... 30 miles This happened around 20 some years ago and he still brings it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Random Hero Posted July 21, 2006 Author Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 Just as I remember, some of the stories are absolutely legendary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members fishfartz Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 my younger brother back when he was in kindergarden {censored} his pants and it came rolling down his pantsleg out on the floor OK, thats somewhat normal for that age. but he has always had problems having to run to the bathroom fast forward to now - im 29 hes 27, he was pumping gas in his van and actually {censored}, it went down his pantsleg and piled up right there by the gas pumps. he then had to go in and pay while stinking. he called and told me and i grabbed my camera and went there but they had cleaned it and was heading inside mwith a bucket! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Pepi Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 Originally posted by jeverist The lesson here is never fart to show off or to get back at someone...cause if you're not squeezing your ass cheeks together, sometimes you don't know what'll come out. Some people just never learn ... I've shat myself many times Commericial: Since I've been taking Prevacid I've not shat my pants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Remedy Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 LOL! - "Take That!" HAHAHA!~~~ :D so funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Pepi Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 I remember reading on the Vstar motorcycle forum. This guy was having the major lower rectum pain while riding home on his Vstar. He come up to some railroad tracks and when he went over them he totally shat himself. He went into detail about {censored} getting all over his pipes and smoking. It was a real hoot reading his thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dman11 Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 When I was in 4th grade there was this Vietnamese kid that sat next to me named Long.He was the class clown and was really out of control and undisciplined.The teacher would ignore him most of the time so when he asked to go to the bathroom the teacher said "NO".He asked again,still "NO".He asked again "I really gotta go mrs.Riddick-"I said No".It started as a really ,really bad smell,like a blooming fart little by little annoying you till the smell became a physical force.Iknew something was wrong but couldn't put my finger on it.But I also noticed a look on long's face sorta looking like -"Don't tell anyone....please.I'm like waddaya mean long .he says "look";- there was a Spicy-Yellow-mustard-like dripping from his pantleg.By now the smell was unbearable I gagged when I saw the drip and a Girl tha sat behind him threw up a little and when the techer approached her ,she gagged as well and backed way off of where long and me were and said "what happened,covering her mouth and nose with her hand.I said ,"um ,ma'am, um I think Long shoot himself,"What?",Long shoot himself,....Long did what?"and a kid behind me said"Long {censored} himself."Oh my God.Everybody spread out like moses parting the red sea.I mean quick.Long put his head down and began to cry a horrified wail(I'll never forget it) as the kids all in disgust get up and file out of class.That kid never heard the end of it till he graduated.He was named "Student most likely to {censored} himself":freak: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tonemeister87 Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 Originally posted by dman11 That kid never heard the end of it till he graduated.He was named "Student most likely to {censored} himself":freak: ROFL! Great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dman11 Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 Bump for....... toilet humor:freak: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members STEEL KAGE Posted July 21, 2006 Members Share Posted July 21, 2006 Originally posted by Tonemeister69 I just read all the stories again. That one on the train has to be fake! Oh man, I haven't laughed so much in a long time! LMAO! Nah The Train Story was Told by Mentoneman and hes definitely on the Level Some of these stories are so funny that they hurt... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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