Super OT: I'm in a predicament. :( (long read)

[Boris the Blade]

Your dad already told you not to drop any classes and continue to pay what you're paying and he will take care of his situation. Let him figure it out, he's been around long enough and he's not asking for anymore help than what you are already giving him. If you're making enough to pay your current bills, stay in school and finish it ASAP, especially if you getting the FA. The sooner you are out of school the better. The full time job is tempting right now, but finishing your school quick is a wiser long term career move. It won't get any easier to finish school when you get older.

 

 

My dad has never been good at fixing any bad situations. A while back when my dad was laid off from his job, he pretty much relied on my older brother and my mother to handle things. I was not working at the time. What my dad expects is a job to fall in his lap. My uncle offered him a job, which he worked with him for a while, but he got laid off from that job too. Now my dad stays home. Sometimes he will go out, but only to visit people.

 

I've always been passionate about school. It has always been number one for me. But damn, the way things are going right now, I just don't know what to do..

[rushtallica]

You need to do what is best for YOU in the long run, IMO. It might be another story if he had health issues preventing him from getting a job, but in this case, I think your future needs to be the priority.

 

 

+ 1

 

 

 

As long as you (Boris) are committed to doing well in school instead of partying and wasting it away, I hope you take advantage of the situation with school. Education is getting more and more expensive, and as time goes by it often gets even tougher to be able to afford to go to school as well as do well in it.

 

I would talk to your father and let him know how important school is to you and that he should go to a temp job agency as well as read the Sunday classifieds and get busy. Help him see without downtalking him that you want to stay and be a help but that he has to get his head on straight or possibly risk losing you from the home, as well. I'm not young and have had problems managing money, but at least I always take care of the necessities. Hopefully your father will get the gravity of the situation after everyone else already left. Maybe he has a disorder that makes it tough for him, and I can understand it. But if that's the case it wouldn't hurt to try to convince him to get help for himself.

 

Worst case scenario you may have to look either for another roommate to stay at your father's house with you to help pay bills or maybe move somewhere else and room with someone or on school campus if it's not too expensive.

 

Good luck with whatever you do, but I hope you're able to get school to work out for you.

[Dark Angel]

I really don't see how this is relevant to the topic considering my predicament has nothing to do with moving out. I already said, I have no intentions of moving out. I want to help my dad.

 

 

 

If you want to help your dad, do what he would do if the roles were reversed.

 

"Dad, you need to start pulling your weight around here. I don't care what job you get or what it pays, but get a job. Your mom is worried you're just coasting through life and will never amount to anything."

 

If he was your age, and you told him in 20 years that this would be the case, he'd want to kick his future ass, assuming he is a real man.

 

I buy expensive presents for all my family because I love to give. I know not to with my dad. The very idea of receiving instead of providing makes him sick to his stomach.

[Boris the Blade]

+ 1 As long as you (Boris) are committed to doing well in school instead of partying and wasting it away, I hope you take advantage of the situation with school. Education is getting more and more expensive, and as time goes by it often gets even tougher to be able to afford to go to school as well as do well in it. I would talk to your father and let him know how important school is to you and that he should go to a temp job agency as well as read the Sunday classifieds and get busy. Help him see without downtalking him that you want to stay and be a help but that he has to get his head on straight or possibly risk losing you from the home, as well. I'm not young and have had problems managing money, but at least I always take care of the necessities. Hopefully your father will get the gravity of the situation after everyone else already left. Maybe he has a disorder that makes it tough for him, and I can understand it. But if that's the case it wouldn't hurt to try to convince him to get help for himself. Worst case scenario you may have to look either for another roommate to stay at your father's house with you to help pay bills or maybe move somewhere else and room with someone or on school campus if it's not too expensive. Good luck with whatever you do, but I hope you're able to get school to work out for you.

 

 

Haha I almost never party. I do hang out with a few buddies during the weekends once in a while. Thats about it.

 

I'm going to keep talking to him more. It would be nice if at least my older brother could come and talk to him too but my brother is pretty much a ghost. I almost never see him and don't really hear from him.

 

Well I still have a couple weeks to make a final decision. I'm going to think long and hard about this. Too much on my mind...

[OverDriven]

I read the OP and I haven't read any of the rest of this thread, so this may have been said already.

It sounds like you are a really good kid. You should be proud. A lot of younger people these days feel entitled to everything, and it's nice to see someone who helps their family a bit.

Here's the way I see it: If everything is working out fine as it is, then stay on course and take the classes. You also need to get your dad to a psychologist or doctor as he is obviously depressed. There is a deeper problem when a person doesn't want to be a contributing member of society.

Good luck and hang in there.

[starsnuffer]

Don't take the full time position. Don't give up on the rest of your life.

Look at it this way: You'll be able to take much better care of your dad after you get through college and get a real job. Don't throw it away for some unskilled position that will get you nowhere in life.

Your dad probably doesn't want you to throw your future away either.

IF your dad just sits around all day, you can just harvest one of his kidneys to get you through another year of college. He's not using it.

-W

[guitarbilly74]

My dad has never been good at fixing any bad situations. A while back when my dad was laid off from his job, he pretty much relied on my older brother and my mother to handle things. I was not working at the time. What my dad expects is a job to fall in his lap. My uncle offered him a job, which he worked with him for a while, but he got laid off from that job too. Now my dad stays home. Sometimes he will go out, but only to visit people. I've always been passionate about school. It has always been number one for me. But damn, the way things are going right now, I just don't know what to do..

 

 

I have no doubts you are a good guy and want to help your dad. That is pretty clear. But at this point, you have to take your dad's word that he will take care of the situation and worry about finishing your school.

 

If you think it's hard to conciliate work and school now, just wait until you're 25 or 30. It only gets harder, not easier.

 

You need to worry about finishing your studies and continue to pay what you've been paying. No more, no less.

 

Leave it very clear to your dad that you will continue to help with everything you've been helping with and that's it. If gets to the point where you can no longer stay there because he's too late on his share of the bills, well then find another living arrangement. You've helped him , you paid your share.

[Boris the Blade]

I read the OP and I haven't read any of the rest of this thread, so this may have been said already. It sounds like you are a really good kid. You should be proud. A lot of younger people these days feel entitled to everything, and it's nice to see someone who helps their family a bit. Here's the way I see it: If everything is working out fine as it is, then stay on course and take the classes. You also need to get your dad to a psychologist or doctor as he is obviously depressed. There is a deeper problem when a person doesn't want to be a contributing member of society. Good luck and hang in there.

Thanks.

Things seem kind of ok right now, but considering that there may be potential layoffs in my department, my meager income and the lack of willingness of my dad to find a job, it just seems things are only going downhill.

My dad is on anti depressants. He's been on them for close to 2 years. makes me sad...

[Boris the Blade]

Don't take the full time position. Don't give up on the rest of your life. Look at it this way: You'll be able to take much better care of your dad after you get through college and get a real job. Don't throw it away for some unskilled position that will get you nowhere in life. Your dad probably doesn't want you to throw your future away either. IF your dad just sits around all day, you can just harvest one of his kidneys to get you through another year of college. He's not using it. -W

 

 

I guess I will take his word for it. I'm hoping he figures something out. I have up until the 18th of July to make a final decision.

 

The new position in the new department would definitely be a good experience though. But I would lose out on those MIM classes I need to take. Sucks they aren't available at night.

 

And yeah, I can't imagine having to work and go to school when i'm like 10 years older. Some of my managers take classes at night or online. However they have different majors and the classes they need to take are available at night. The classes I need (MIM calculus, physics) are not.

 

Thanks for all the advice and the posts guys. I have a lot to think about.