Members oldgitplayer Posted October 8, 2012 Members Share Posted October 8, 2012 Originally Posted by Lee Knight yeah, maybe. It has a little bit of a "four score and seven years ago" feel to it though. It is a time for change, etc. A little politico speechy. A time! You know? As a matter of fact, if I could figure out how to get "time" out of there, I might too. I love the idea. How it offers hope with all the God is DEAD negative reality. But I don't want to to sound like Abe Lincoln, Martin Luther King or Obama either. The other consideration is the mechanics of speech. "A" works off of a glottal. "The" has the advantage of that tongue to the teeth. rolling into the "t" if "time" All valid points. I've got so much to learn if I'm gonna glottal right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Monkey Uncle Posted October 8, 2012 Members Share Posted October 8, 2012 Make the time to love and live Find the time to love and live Now's the time to love and live Just some thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted October 8, 2012 Author Moderators Share Posted October 8, 2012 Originally Posted by oldgitplayer All valid points. I've got so much to learn if I'm gonna glottal right. Hey, I edit voice over for a living. I live this crap. I've got a VO talent who is a Philippino-American. She has a beautiful, American voice. But she was raised in a Philippino home. And those Philippinos love their glottal stops. Think of the almost consonant sound at the top of each of these: uh-oh. So in the midst of this this beautiful articulation she flaunts, there are these little uh-oh kind of sounds. I'm constantly editing them out and can actually see them a mile away.TMI. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members saturn1 Posted October 9, 2012 Members Share Posted October 9, 2012 Originally Posted by Lee Knight BRemember the time spent driving in your car?The desert was electric, the day to day that can be so hectic Was so far... away If it was:The desert was electric, the day to day, hecticbut so far awayThe comma replaces 'was'. The original line really grabbed me - the contrast between 'electric' and 'hectic' as well as the similarity.Just a thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted October 9, 2012 Author Moderators Share Posted October 9, 2012 Originally Posted by saturn1 If it was:The desert was electric, the day to day, hecticbut so far awayThe comma replaces 'was'. The original line really grabbed me - the contrast between 'electric' and 'hectic' as well as the similarity.Just a thought. You're saying you liked the original way I used "hectic". Cause I do too. I'd really love to buck the trend on this but it's easy to see the communal perception here, and the come around to some sense. I tend to agree with these guys. Not always though. I'd love to have a reason to keep it. ???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Monkey Uncle Posted October 9, 2012 Members Share Posted October 9, 2012 Originally Posted by Lee Knight You're saying you liked the original way I used "hectic". Cause I do too. I'd really love to buck the trend on this but it's easy to see the communal perception here, and the come around to some sense. I tend to agree with these guys. Not always though. I'd love to have a reason to keep it. ???? Hey, it's your song. Don't let us write it by committee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted October 9, 2012 Members Share Posted October 9, 2012 Originally Posted by Lee Knight You're saying you liked the original way I used "hectic". Cause I do too. I'd really love to buck the trend on this but it's easy to see the communal perception here, and the come around to some sense. I tend to agree with these guys. Not always though. I'd love to have a reason to keep it. ???? I prefer the original as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted October 10, 2012 Author Moderators Share Posted October 10, 2012 Thanks O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members guitarville Posted October 10, 2012 Members Share Posted October 10, 2012 Lee, I didn't read all the post, but were you playing the guitar while writing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted October 10, 2012 Author Moderators Share Posted October 10, 2012 Originally Posted by guitarville Lee, I didn't read all the post, but were you playing the guitar while writing it. I haven't even picked up a guitar yet. No... just hearing it in my head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members guitarville Posted October 10, 2012 Members Share Posted October 10, 2012 Originally Posted by Lee Knight I haven't even picked up a guitar yet. No... just hearing it in my head. OK, thanks. It is always nice to hear it in the head and jot it down, and then pick up the guitar, but actually I never do it that way. Bums me out when I pick up the pencil and paper and try to remember what was in my head without the guitar and pencil in hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted October 18, 2012 Author Moderators Share Posted October 18, 2012 Originally Posted by saturn1 If it was:The desert was electric, the day to day, hecticbut so far awayThe comma replaces 'was'. The original line really grabbed me - the contrast between 'electric' and 'hectic' as well as the similarity.Just a thought. I didn't understand this post at the time. That is AWESOME!!!! You fixed it. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LordBTY Posted October 18, 2012 Members Share Posted October 18, 2012 This capture my imagination from the start. I'm not entirely sure what it's about specifically and that could use some clarification (or not.) I look forward to hearing it. "You're not a little girl, I'm not your daddy" is a very good line for a chorus and made me chuckle. I think that should really be emphasized. Haven't heard the melody, but that sticks in the mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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