Members -Assy- Posted December 8, 2012 Members Share Posted December 8, 2012 Meet someone out at a bar, work, etc. They have a band, play 3-4x a month, pull in $100+ a person per night (this would almost pay my rent), they need a guitarist, awesome.I go over to audition, I have their covers ready to go, we start playing, the band is absolute {censored}. It all starts with the off-beat drummer. I sit there and wonder in amazement how the rest of the band doesn't acknowledge this issue. Do you even have a metronome bro? Or are all of you so drunk all of the time that you no longer remember what consistency is? Stop hitting the bass pedal so much, this is a Lynyrd Skynyrd song, not Lamb of God, and you're off by a few milliseconds.The singer... too easy. Your PA might as well be a megaphone, and you can't sing anyways.I have lost count of the amount of times I have had to guise myself in politeness and tell them I am really not interested, despite them praising me and saying I made the "cut".Really not trying to sound like an elitist ass here or anything, but jesus christ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members paul88lx Posted December 8, 2012 Members Share Posted December 8, 2012 {censored}ty drummers ruin everything. I jammed with some guys a while back. We were trying to find some easy stuff to rock out. I suggested Night Prowler by ACDC. Super easy and fun. The drummer grabs his copy of Highway to Hell, pops it in and proceeds to just butcher what is a very easy blues shuffle. I knew right then it was't going to work.Then they wanted to jam Kings of Leon. I'd rather watch paint dry while sirens wail.Oh, I do play drums and can certainly hold it down. So this guy was making my internal metronome flip out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members drewl Posted December 8, 2012 Members Share Posted December 8, 2012 Originally Posted by -Assy- Meet someone out at a bar, work, etc. They have a band, play 3-4x a month, pull in $100+ a person per night (this would almost pay my rent), they need a guitarist, awesome. I go over to audition, I have their covers ready to go, we start playing, the band is absolute {censored}. It all starts with the off-beat drummer. I sit there and wonder in amazement how the rest of the band doesn't acknowledge this issue. Do you even have a metronome bro? Or are all of you so drunk all of the time that you no longer remember what consistency is? Stop hitting the bass pedal so much, this is a Lynyrd Skynyrd song, not Lamb of God, and you're off by a few milliseconds. The singer... too easy. Your PA might as well be a megaphone, and you can't sing anyways. I have lost count of the amount of times I have had to guise myself in politeness and tell them I am really not interested, despite them praising me and saying I made the "cut". Really not trying to sound like an elitist ass here or anything, but jesus christ Dude, you made the cut, how come you never called us back? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members K-Bizzle Posted December 8, 2012 Members Share Posted December 8, 2012 Have had so many stupid auditions and get togethers over the years its ridiculous. Last one was kinda funny. Dude replies to ad "Punk band looking for drummer." When he gets there we talk to him for a minute "yeah I don't really like punk, I'm more of a metal guy." We jammed with him anyway since we already had the room but wtf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SexWithRobots Posted December 8, 2012 Members Share Posted December 8, 2012 After similar issues I have found the best course of action (especially if you are really confident in your ability) is to go sit in at a practice first and see if its something you would be interested in. It may come off as kind of dickish but honestly you will know in the first 5 mins and will save you the effort of hauling gear and learning their songs for something that wont work anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members telephant Posted December 8, 2012 Members Share Posted December 8, 2012 I won't audition for or audition somebody else without hearing a recording first. Don't have a recording? Then you're not worth my time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members -Assy- Posted December 8, 2012 Author Members Share Posted December 8, 2012 Originally Posted by telephant I won't audition for or audition somebody else without hearing a recording first. Don't have a recording? Then you're not worth my time. basically what I am thinking, but around here nobody gets professionally recorded if they are just playing covers unless they are in the wedding gigs. I just want to make a few bucks and hit on some bitches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members telephant Posted December 8, 2012 Members Share Posted December 8, 2012 Originally Posted by -Assy- basically what I am thinking, but around here nobody gets professionally recorded if they are just playing covers unless they are in the wedding gigs. I just want to make a few bucks and hit on some bitches. I heard that. It doesn't have to be professionally recorded. I just want to hear if you can actually keep time and groove. I have to ask though, if these guys don't even have a rough demo how are they getting well paying gigs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members -Assy- Posted December 8, 2012 Author Members Share Posted December 8, 2012 Originally Posted by telephant I heard that. It doesn't have to be professionally recorded. I just want to hear if you can actually keep time and groove. I have to ask though, if these guys don't even have a rough demo how are they getting well paying gigs? in DC area that isn't really well-paying. bars drop hundreds of dollars on people to just show up and make noise it seems. I've heard some god-awful {censored} at these bars, people just get so drunk they don't realize it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Wookieslayer Posted December 8, 2012 Members Share Posted December 8, 2012 What about the times you audition drummers who said they were going to learn the song beforehand and arrive to the audition not having done so.... When you finally get them to learn the arrangement they still fall in and out of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members '63-Strat Posted December 8, 2012 Members Share Posted December 8, 2012 Originally Posted by telephant I heard that. It doesn't have to be professionally recorded. I just want to hear if you can actually keep time and groove. I have to ask though, if these guys don't even have a rough demo how are they getting well paying gigs? Yeah if you don't have *anything* you can let me hear to get an idea it's very likely gonna be a waste of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JR13 Posted December 8, 2012 Members Share Posted December 8, 2012 i jam with a group of people every week, nothing annoys me more than when some kid starts playing drums and can't stay in time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members guidedbyechoes Posted December 8, 2012 Members Share Posted December 8, 2012 In this day and age all you need is a digital camera and an internet connection to know if the person/band you are auditioning is worth the time or not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Goop Posted December 8, 2012 Members Share Posted December 8, 2012 Originally Posted by guidedbyechoes In this day and age all you need is a digital camera and an internet connection to know if the person/band you are auditioning is worth the time or not QFT. Even the worst of the worst cover bands around here have posted youtube clips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members telephant Posted December 8, 2012 Members Share Posted December 8, 2012 Originally Posted by Goop QFT. Even the worst of the worst cover bands around here have posted youtube clips. Which is why they won't offer anything up because they know it sucks. Thus wasting everyones time like a straight newb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Nick H Posted December 9, 2012 Members Share Posted December 9, 2012 Originally Posted by Wookieslayer What about the times you audition drummers who said they were going to learn the song beforehand and arrive to the audition not having done so.... When you finally get them to learn the arrangement they still fall in and out of time. I HATE this, drummers are the worst about doing it to, If you cant show up having learned your {censored}, GTFO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chrispsullivan Posted December 9, 2012 Members Share Posted December 9, 2012 It's just as bad the other way around. My band is looking for a bass player right now and nearly everyone who has come auditioned has completely wasted our time. I won't let anyone come anymore unless they have some clips demonstrating that they can play in time and in tune. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Krank'N Posted December 9, 2012 Members Share Posted December 9, 2012 Originally Posted by -Assy- Stop hitting the bass pedal so much, this is a Lynyrd Skynyrd song, not Lamb of God..... Skynard and LOG do have common-ground...as in someones gonna die. FWIW always take take a pocket recorder to practices and then play it back for the offenders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members soundgardener75 Posted December 9, 2012 Members Share Posted December 9, 2012 Well you didn't ask the most important question: Do you even lift bro? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nerol1st Posted December 9, 2012 Members Share Posted December 9, 2012 Originally Posted by -Assy- Really not trying to sound like an elitist ass here or anything, but jesus christ Welcome to trying to find a band when you don't suck. No I don't think you were being to harsh in your assessment. I have had to do this numerous times. Funny how musicians always seem to "make the cut." No I will not help you suck less Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nerol1st Posted December 9, 2012 Members Share Posted December 9, 2012 Although back when I was looking (I just hooked up doing some stuff with my brother) I ran into this {censored} ALL THE TIME: So you are an instrumental band? Can I show up with any old piece of {censored} drumset? Can I snort coke off your mom's ass? Hey a little better, but are you gigging? Can expect any reimbursement? Any youtube clips? Again do I need to be drug free or can I snort coke off your mom's ass? Look smuck, pick a genre. I don't want to be in a punk/hardcore/metal/old rock/grunge band. That's {censored}ing whack. While we are at it, how old are you because I'm not jumping into a band with a bunch of teens so how about the age of the guy your looking to bag. Also, where the hell is your recordings? {censored} YOUR MANAGER. I was redirected to the manager of a local band looking for both a guitar player and a drummer, the guy was epically bad at communication. The flying {censored} did you get a manager that can't manage his own {censored}ing voicemails. Again idiot, lets pick a genre and go with it. I hate Country, but might entertain rock so how about it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sillypeoples Posted December 9, 2012 Members Share Posted December 9, 2012 Originally Posted by telephant I won't audition for or audition somebody else without hearing a recording first. Don't have a recording? Then you're not worth my time. Video is better. After my first mismatch audition I made a little video of my playing...surprise surprise the band that called had some video of them playing live......answers a ton of questions. Everyone should do this. That said, a band should have a set list, the songs on a CD in the key played and some tabs for the new guy to play with at home.... I've spent a week at home looking up songs, transposing and all that...what bull{censored}...especially when you show up and it's like 'yeah we don't play it like that'.. Brings up another subject of lousy tabs written by guys who like to come up with the most difficult fingering when an easier choice is obvious.......I'm convinced it's meant to throw us off course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members satannica Posted December 9, 2012 Members Share Posted December 9, 2012 I had my first drums "audition" yesterday. I've been playing with a young punk band for a year or so now and kinda ready for some metal stuff, really what I want to do. I've always made a point of learning to a click which is probably the hardest goddamned thing to do ever!I got a copy of this new band's stuff which is all EZDrummer... as in, everything double-kick, everything 900bpm. I got just the straight guitar tracks and learned/wrote the drum lines.Anyway, turned up to rehersal and it pretty much all went wrong from the count in. The first track started off with just a straight 4/4 beat with a build up to a nice syncopated section. The guitarist seemed to not actually keep time whatsoever and I would be surprised if the bassist paid more than Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Wookieslayer Posted December 9, 2012 Members Share Posted December 9, 2012 That must have been fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hugbot Posted December 9, 2012 Members Share Posted December 9, 2012 Originally Posted by telephant I won't audition for or audition somebody else without hearing a recording first. Don't have a recording? Then you're not worth my time. Same, especially if its an original band. I'm of the opinion that if you are serious about what you're doing, you should be recording yourself to improve anyway. I mean how the {censored} are you writing songs without ANY scratch demos? Its 2012, a freaking iphone recording will do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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