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Since we're critiquing originals here,


kwakatak

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I really like it. I listened to it before reading the rest of your post and thought there was a deliberately brittle quality to the tone. I was also wondering how you got such a nice vibrato in the midst of your arpeggios. After reading your description I think it all fits together with your concept -- very well executed. It practically sets the stage for a good shakuhachi solo...

 

LOL - yeah, that's the signature Takamine tone! The funny thing is that the guitar is knockoff of a Martin dread and I tuned it down a whole step and put the capo on the second fret. It must be the laminated construction but I don't care because it works here. I tried it with my Larrivee OM and the mids were too strong so I recorded it with the Tak.

 

BTW, I'm pretty proud of the vibrato, thanks! :)

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I came up with a snippet of a rehash of the main them with the intent of building upon the Okinawan affectation. For this task I reached for my MIJ Takamine and it didn't steer me wrong. I don't know if it's original but it feels closer to what I originally envisioned: a piece set in Okinawa during simpler times. I Googled "Japanese Banjo" and listened to sound clips in the search results and tried to approximate the technique pm my Eastern-made, Western-designed instrument:




I like it but I'm kind of attached to it. What do you guys think?

 

 

I really like it. You immediately set the mood, style and culture of the piece in that short "snippet", IMO. It's strong yet gives a sense of the ellusive. It also sets me to thinking something BIG is coming. Hope that helps.

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I came up with a snippet of a rehash of the main them with the intent of building upon the Okinawan affectation. For this task I reached for my MIJ Takamine and it didn't steer me wrong. I don't know if it's original but it feels closer to what I originally envisioned: a piece set in Okinawa during simpler times. I Googled "Japanese Banjo" and listened to sound clips in the search results and tried to approximate the technique pm my Eastern-made, Western-designed instrument:


http://media.putfile.com/Than-To-Have-Never-Loved-At-All---Okinawan-theme-snippet


I like it but I'm kind of attached to it. What do you guys think?

 

two thumbs up!!! :thu::thu:

 

I like it!!

 

.

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It worked on my Mac.

And mine as well. Sweet tune, Neil!

 

But I must add, having written dozens of songs that began as instrumental-only: what will become the "melody" for lyrics isn't necessarily there yet. When you have words/phrases, you might find that the melody will deviate considerably from the basic idea that's already there in the guitar part, because the ideas/emotions conveyed in the lyrics demand it.

 

And as for cliches: they're a dime a dozen! :lol:

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And mine as well. Sweet tune, Neil!


But I must add, having written dozens of songs that began as instrumetal-only: what will become the "melody" for lyrics isn't necessarily there yet. When you have words/phrases, you might find that the melody will deviate considerably from the basic idea that's already there in the guitar part, because the ideas/emotions conveyed in the lyrics demand it.


And as for cliches: they're a dime a dozen!
:lol:

 

Thanks as well, Michael.

 

Yeah, it's hard for me to describe the creative process that I follow, but I expect and hope that there will be revisions and variations as this progresses. I may hold on to this snippet as-is though to use as an intro though. I plan on revising it to fit the mood of subsequent sections of the song.

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I've been working hard on this for the past month. I've been writing lyrics and fiddling with melodies which led to chord progressions. Now I have enough to build a "verse" section and enough lyrics within the backing story to pen the first verse. I'm also planning an interlude after the second or third verse and took a stab at it as well. Here's what I have so far:

 

http://media.putfile.com/TTHNLAA-02-22-2008

 

Apologies for the slurred vocal and poor quality (low volume, background hiss) but this is basically a single take of playing fingerstyle and singing to a lyric sheet. That and I'm damned tired, so it's off to bed.

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I love the melody Neil. This is a great foundation for a song, the only thing I wasn't too keen on was that it seemed like you were reaching for the notes a bit. Keep us posted on how this one turns out.

 

 

Yeah, I'm not 100% with the lyrics so it's hard to get a firm grip on the melody. I may have to go back and listen to some more Springsteen, Henley and other influences of mine. My biggest issue with the lyrics is really that I want to tell the story in a more linear fashion and already I've gotten ahead of myself a little bit. That's why there's that one part where I'm almost humming.

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OGP, I saw Country Dick and the Beat Farmers several times at Slims in San Francisco back in the day. Nothing slick and or fancy bout those guys. The first time I went with a bunch of people from my local watering hole in the east bay and we were all standing in line. Dick gets out of a car looking REAL hung over. He walks over to us in line and says "Any of you got any booze". My buddy asks if he had a rough night. He said "we did a show in Stockton last night, my aunt and uncle were there and ,well they deserved it" It was a great show as always. Dick had a heart attack during a show somewhere in the valley and passed away a couple of years later. Got to respect bands like that, but I also respect the Keith Urbans and Brad Paisleys, all playing good music just different.

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Sorry kwakatak, Did not mean to stray OT I like your music. Very cool to play your own tunes. Someday maybe.

 

 

That's OK, it's an open forum. I kind of like when others here post their originals as well. It's an open forum and I wouldn't have it any other way.

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