Overcoming musical insecurity

[Gary Palmer]

Gentlemen, I think I strayed a little off topic and made a number of ill advised comments that may have unnecessarily upset the OP's wife, if she were to read my offerings. I wholeheartedly appologise for any offense or distress my words may have caused and withdraw any comments made concerning her mental health and attitude toward her husband.

Fixed.

[garthman]

Quote from NEWYORK:

Gentlemen,
I may be wrong but I think some of you may have strayed a little off topic.
Please consider the plight of this poor man that has turned to us and sought advice in hope of finding a solution.
How about recommending a poem, or perhaps a prayer, or a book that may offer some consolation?

A sensible remark not clouded by the typical "chip on the shoulder" sentiments.

Quote from NEWYORK (as highlighted by Gary):

Gentlemen,
I think I strayed a little off topic and made a number of ill advised comments that may have unnecessarily upset the OP's wife, if she were to read my offerings. I wholeheartedly appologise for any offense or distress my words may have caused and withdraw any comments made concerning her mental health and attitude toward her husband.


An apology? - which now seems to have disappeared?

[babablowfish]

Quote from NEWYORK: Gentlemen, I may be wrong but I think some of you may have strayed a little off topic. Please consider the plight of this poor man that has turned to us and sought advice in hope of finding a solution. How about recommending a poem, or perhaps a prayer, or a book that may offer some consolation? A sensible remark not clouded by the typical "chip on the shoulder" sentiments. Quote from NEWYORK (as highlighted by Gary): Gentlemen, I think I strayed a little off topic and made a number of ill advised comments that may have unnecessarily upset the OP's wife, if she were to read my offerings. I wholeheartedly appologise for any offense or distress my words may have caused and withdraw any comments made concerning her mental health and attitude toward her husband. An apology? - which now seems to have disappeared?

 

 

I think Gary wrote the post that NEWYORK would have written if he had a sense of decency.

[garthman]

Gotcha

Hadn't drunk enough coffee when I posted that.

[Gary Palmer]

Yes I did edit what had been said and worded the statement in order to hopefully reflect a more mature approach toward others concerning their relationships and the fact that unguarded comments are ill advised.

[babablowfish]

Yes I did edit what had been said and worded the statement in order to hopefully reflect a more mature approach toward others concerning their relationships and the fact that unguarded comments are ill advised.

Well done.

[Cripes]

Am I the only one who's noticed the OP never came back to this thread? I mean, I would have watched the way it unfolded and if I were the OP I would have interjected already with a thankyou and additional comment trying to still the waters here. Then, an antagonist comes out of no where and the Battle of Trafalgar begins. The OP never returns. Could be both people are one in the same? No? Doesn't matter. The reason I take off from this forum from time to time is because the so-called mature forumites allow themselves to get suckered into these petty little off-topic pissing matches and obliviously remain happy in their staunchiness about certain etiquette, morals, and ethics crusades against this poster or that poster. I couldn't care less normally but it's some of the actual long-term members who are making the molehills into mountains. They have become the method and vehicle trolls use to turn this place upside-down. And, no one seems to realize it is indeed themselves who are causing the stir; not the troll. Time and time again it has been said to simply ignore the prattlings of trolls and ill-mannered posters.

 

A little self-restraint? No way. Each long-term member just has to have his or her 15 minutes of fame soap-boxing as fine upstanding citizens of the forum using every opportunity to give speeches. State your opinions one time and move on. Better yet, just leave it alone. If it bothers you I don't care nor should you show weakness by getting up here and claiming it bothers you. That's what trolls are looking for, you know it and yet exasperate yourselves with not only taking the bait but elevating it between yourselves. The troll simply smiles at his work and chalks up another victory. Generally speaking this forum seems to be visited by folks of certain respectable levels of education yet they quickly dispense with rationale and get stupid given the opportunity to visit stupid.

 

In short, the trolls are the catalyst only. What happens after that is all on the members here.

[Brokepick]

If I were the OP of this thread, and I had watched it degenerate into what it has, I would not return, either. NEWYORK got what he/she/it came for. A rising out of us. He/she/it is having a good time at our expense. Members have been banned from other forums for much less than this. Why?

[freetime]

tell her even if you're good on the keys you'll never be as hawt as her

[Ohioarrow]

If I were the OP of this thread, and I had watched it degenerate into what it has, I would not return, either.

I noticed this as well, but not only this thread. Just spot checking the threads he started on the AG - I find that most of them he starts, he never bothers to do a follow up post on.

Not sure what the game is unless it is as Cripes suggests.

[boxorox]

Wow. That was a hot one.
Now, original poster present or not, someone may have a prob with this, so here's to posterity.
There are as many reasons to play music as there are musicians. Give space so you can develop individualy, make time to play together. If assistance is not asked, put a lid on it. If a negative competitive spirit rises, lay back. Enjoy the time together.
Anyone been a teacher or student of a loved one in how to drive a standard transmission? No way everyone comes home happy. Get her lessons with someone else, but only if she wants them. Keep being a buttinski in her learning curve could cause a lot of resentment. Not something to encourage in someone who handles your food and watches you sleep.

[NEWYORK]

Am I the only one who's noticed the OP never came back to this thread? I mean, I would have watched the way it unfolded and if I were the OP I would have interjected already with a thankyou and additional comment trying to still the waters here. Then, an antagonist comes out of no where and the Battle of Trafalgar begins. The OP never returns. Could be both people are one in the same? No? Doesn't matter. The reason I take off from this forum from time to time is because the so-called mature forumites allow themselves to get suckered into these petty little off-topic pissing matches and obliviously remain happy in their staunchiness about certain etiquette, morals, and ethics crusades against this poster or that poster. I couldn't care less normally but it's some of the actual long-term members who are making the molehills into mountains. They have become the method and vehicle trolls use to turn this place upside-down. And, no one seems to realize it is indeed themselves who are causing the stir; not the troll. Time and time again it has been said to simply ignore the prattlings of trolls and ill-mannered posters.

A little self-restraint? No way. Each long-term member just has to have his or her 15 minutes of fame soap-boxing as fine upstanding citizens of the forum using every opportunity to give speeches. State your opinions one time and move on. Better yet, just leave it alone. If it bothers you I don't care nor should you show weakness by getting up here and claiming it bothers you. That's what trolls are looking for, you know it and yet exasperate yourselves with not only taking the bait but elevating it between yourselves. The troll simply smiles at his work and chalks up another victory. Generally speaking this forum seems to be visited by folks of certain respectable levels of education yet they quickly dispense with rationale and get stupid given the opportunity to visit stupid.

In short, the trolls are the catalyst only. What happens after that is all on the members here.[/QUOT

Time to move on upstream.

Might catch me some more morons or one or two of em cretins or even just a few plain old dumb fish.

[Brokepick]

I noticed this as well, but not only this thread. Just spot checking the threads he started on the AG - I find that most of them he starts, he never bothers to do a follow up post on. Not sure what the game is unless it is as Cripes suggests.

 

DH has often posted asking for opinions. This appears to be the first time one of his threads has degenerated like this. I think the blame for this can be placed on the troll, and the moderators' indifference to it.

[DarkHorseJ27]

Sorry it took me a while to come back. The only days I have access to a computer where it takes under an hour to check my e-mail is on Tuesdays and Thursdays (when I have class). If you check I posted this the original post last Thursday.

Thanks to everyone who had a well-meant suggestion.

I've known for a while she has security issues, mostly stemming from her mom. And that she can be overcompetitive doesn't make a good combination. Since I've been with her her security issues have gotten much better, this one is a recent development, and it is about something I'm reluctant to make a concession on, music.

For a while she was jealous of my guitar, saying that I had a connection with it that I didn't have with her. Well, of course I do, its a musical instrument and she's not, and I have a much more important and deeper connection with her anyways. Once she realized that, that problem went away.

I guess I'll have to convince her over time that she doesn't have to feel threatened by a guitar playing piano music.