OT: School Bomb Threat

mikeofbaltimore · November 15, 2008

Two years ago we'd get a bomb threat almost everyday when summer was about three weeks away. The teachers didn't care anymore so id just walk home with my friends. I don't have many good school stories.

Stark · November 16, 2008

... under the bleachers...

and in the band supply closet

... I miss those days.

Watchdog · November 16, 2008

So, for those who haven't heard it before, here goes. The condensed version doesn't feel good to me. This is looong:

I get a call from my friends one day, about 7PM on a friday. Our ages ranged from 15-17, i was 16. Like most young scallywags and ruffians, fridays are not days for homework or bible study. We wanted drink and salty wenches, and by drink i mean the cheapest malt liquor one can buy. This was before Bush Jr had done the complete kung fu grip on Americas economical testicals. A tall can of Steel Reserve (aka 211) could usually be found on the dodgier side of the tracks for a dollar out the door. Which means a young man in need of a quick drunk could lift the couch cushions and find intoxication in the form of nickles and dimes. Anyone who has drank a tall boy of 211 can confirm this is serious drink for serious drunks.

So i walk to the closest strip mall of grocery stores and starbucks to meet up with them, but since they were lacking mobile forms of communication, they couldn't tell me the plans had changed. After about 30 minutes of sitting around, i take the hint. But i'm not ready to give up just yet. My heart was aching for cheap malt liquor and my cock was aching for flesh. This was no time to give up and turn around. I scroll through my phonebook, contemplating the potential of each name. Most had {censored} but lacked beer, and the {censored} they could have provided is the kind no man would ever touch without the stuff.

I land on j***i's number. Hmmm, she's a nice girl. Cute. Friendly. Large, perky breasts. And short too. Love a very short woman. And i don't need to get drunk to {censored} her. Sounds good to me. After a brief conversation she make's it aware there's a school dance going on no more than 50 yards in front of me. It was called the Glow Dance. Young men and woman with firey loins heaving to and fro to a backdrop of blacklights and school issued glowsticks, glow necklaces, mainstream hip hop, and the occasional non-school issued glowing mouth stick.

I say {censored} it and go. Worst comes to worst i can make a fool of myself in front of priviledged suburbanites and find someone with some grass. I walk up to the doors only to find a ticket table and a big box of money. Uh oh. A brief conversation with the security guard whom i knew on a first name basis led to him dropping a ticket on the floor, if you catch my drift.

I make my way inside and instant terror surrounds me. These people are wealthy, these people are beautiful, these people are well dressed in hip designer jeans and sideways trucker caps. I'm none of the above. My head is shaved, my camo shorts are tattered my chain is swinging, my shirt has the sleeves cut off and a giant pentagram on the back. I stuck out like a Nigerian at a neo-con convention.

But i came here to meet j****i and possibly poke her moist flesh covered glory hole. I'm on a mission, no backing down now. I meet up with her and the usual small talk ensues. She goes off to dance and converse with her girlfriends. I sit back against the bleachers and observe. It was like a bad Indian rain dance on acid and ecstacy. Violently bright lights spasming about in all directions, black lights fill the whole room, inaudible chatters and strange looks. This was an all out attack on the senses.

Just as i realize i have 30 seconds longer to sit here until i become "one of the wallflowers", a young girl walks up. A Freshman, which means she was clueless and slightly retarded. Perfect material for a good vag or throat pounding. I had previously known her, althoughly barely, through a friend. I had spent a total of 20 minutes with her since the 2 weeks ago we had met. She'd eerily linger in my presence as i'd walk to the bus stop after school. The usual vibes one projects when ones company makes you ill never worked on her, they just made her want my attention more. Scary, scary stuff. The fact that i was stuck in this confined space with her was an unpleasant suprise.

But, if her presence will make me look busy, and not alone, i can save my social status among the people here. She'll do for now. We sit and chat, and heavily dumb things proceed to fly from her mouth. She takes off one of her many glow necklaces and puts it on me.

"I look retarded"

"Noooo! You look cute."

"I'm not sure if i really DO cute."

"Well, you could put it around your dick."

After this comment the usual giggles not too unlike nails on a chalkboard proceed. I'm ready to bail on this girl until realize, "Wait, Aaron, this chick doesn't look half bad. Pretty cute actually. Her tounge doesn't feel any different than a supermodels. She's new to the food chain of high school, probably eager to please."

She was wearing tight jeans, a white snug tank top, and short hair complimented by a bandana. She almost reminds me of the We Can Do it poster plastered throughout the classroom walls that had spawned such deviant fantasies as a young child. {censored} it, this calls for action.

I turn to her and put my face by her ear and say....

"How about your tounge instead".

The roar of the mob is getting louder, and i'm responded to with a loud "What?!?!!"

Oh jesus Aaron, you {censored}ed it up this time. She'll slap you and make a ruckus and tell everyone there. They'll stare at you like the deviant wretch you are and the stares will last until you graduate. The creepy bald guy who preys on freshmen. You outdid yourself this time, you pig.

But apparently she couldn't hear me against the crowd. Oh lord, i have to verbally repeat this blasphemous attack on all things chivalrous. One more time, at the top of my lungs. "HOW ABOUT YOUR TOUNGE INSTEAD".

"ok!"

Huh? Ok? Things like this don't come that easily. She must be a man, or a shapeshifter or a trekkie. {censored} it, no time to stall.

"Do you know a good place?" she says.

Upon my entrance i had noticed three cops walking in and out of the bathrooms every 5 minutes. A bathroom stall would have been my first reaction. {censored}. Think, think goddamn you! Wait, the wall ball courts! Dark, secluded, and angled concrete that shelters us from view. Perfect.

"Follow me..."

We walk over there at a quick pace. I'm half erect already. We get to the corner and i drop my pants completely around my ankles. Ass exposed to the wind, cock and balls stabbing forward in the night. My first reaction would have been to pull it out of my zipper hole, but i have never been fond of this. I want a full range of motion and a wide pallete for her to work with. There's a chance this young lady might be a ballsucker.

I have no desire to kiss this girl, when my pants hit the cold concrete i say "Well, do your magic". And magic she does. This girl wasn't older than 15 years old, but this was absolutely not her first time. I gently nudge her head further down till i hear that desired gag. It's the only sound women make that can rival a 26" 3 ply kick. Possibly better.

A while goes by, and i'm about 10 minutes away from turning this helpless childs face into a glazed doughnut. When out of the blue an awful bright light shines on both of us. I turn my head and to to my dismay there's a police officer shining his light on us. I freeze, panic. Just now i realize what an awful sight this man is seeing. And to make matters worse, this girl's eyes are closed and she doesn't see any of this. Still sucking away in a blissfull fashion with work ethic one would only find in an old black housekeeper from victorian times. I pull her head off quickly and she makes the cutest little slurp and pop hybrid. She's aware what's going on now. Not pretty.

He takes us to the parking lot and informs us our parents will be called to pick us up and we're both suspended for 2 weeks. Just lovely.

"Mrs. Woloszynski?"

"Yes?"

"We caught your son skull {censored}ing this girl in the wallball courts. Come pick him up"

Our parents arrive and the mother is freaking out. She threatens to cut my dick off. And in some confused or shocked state, asks, "Officer, what EXACTLY were they doing?!?!!!!!!"

I saw his face change to multiple types of awkward i will probably never experience. Few men get the opportunity to tell a mother who's both shocked, confused, and dissapointed the vile things that were done to their teenage daughters mouth.

He fumbles with his words for a good 50 seconds, lets an akward long pause out, and closes his eyes in shame.

"Uhh. Um. MMMmhmhm. He, uh. *sigh*......................HIS penis, was in HER mouth".

He points to us individually as if there was a wallball court throat{censored}ing gang bust that just happened and he needed to narrow it down.

We parted ways and i was grounded and suspended. Truth.

Here is your John Holmes award for longest post.

cearleywine · January 11, 2010