Were you?/Would you?

[skinthrasher]

1.Were you ever forced to practice an instrument by your parents?

 

 

2.Would you ever make your kid practice an instrument?

 

What are the pros and cons? I would like your opinions on this as I have put out alot of dinero on instruments for my oldest daughter and I just can't seem to get her motivated enough to actually get her over the hump so to speak! But I don't want to put any bad vibe on the whole subject.

 

 

Any suggestions would be appreciated!

[aenemated]

1 - no. my parents believed playing music was a waste of time. i was supposed to be a golf pro.

 

2 - no. despite the fact that i'll never have kids ... if i *DID* ... i wouldn't force them on anything. if there's interest there, i suspect they'd pursue it and express said interest. nothing worse to a kid than having {censored} forced on them.

 

which reminds me of a fun story.

 

when we played oakland a couple weeks back, the first night of the trip, we stayed with some friends of the singer. really, really awesome people and a BEAUTIFUL home. said friend's wife was musical (an awesome piano player) and both their kids (who were being looked after by others so we could throw down and party with the parents) were into music.

 

the next morning, i was woken up by having a bulldog puppy thrown on my head by the singer ... and the daughter of the friends. i was immediately introduced with "maggie, this is trent - our drummer."

 

despite being hungover as hell, i was able to learn miss maggie loved playing drums. i think she's around 7 or 8. so i talked to her a good bit about it. super sweet, smart and sassy little girl. so i thought it'd be cute to give her the sticks i'd used at the show the previous night. so before we left, i went to my stick bag, got em out ... and brought them inside to give to her. she got all quiet and embarrassed ... said thank you and ran off to her room. (after her dad made the awesome comment "i hope that's the last time she's given drumsticks by some mother{censored}er in a band.")

 

a week or so later, the singer got a letter from her ... saying "tell trent thank you so much for the sticks, they're sooo cool and i took them to school the next day to show to everyone."

 

kids are cool, as long as they're not mine.

[cearleywine]

The way I see it is that the instrument is a tool. More than encouraging the instrument itself, I think encouraging the music that can come of it will help build the passion. I was never pushed into playing, and my folks certainly don't perform. But I've always had music played around me. If I had a child that begged for an instrument I'd probably push them to play, best of luck. I know positive reinforcement works with almost everything.

[Gremson]

No, and No.

 

But my parents made music/instruments extremely available to me. There were always keyboards, drums, percussion, guitars, etc. around for me to play with. I was encouraged to do what I wanted with myself. Just so happened music was it for me. I hope to do the some thing with my offspring , and hope they make the same choice.

 

It would be {censored}ing tragic if I had kid and it wanted to be an accountant or something when it grew up.

[TheGirlfriend]

was forced to pick an instrument in school. i fell in love with the cello.

i kicked it's ass. played in the county wide honor orchestra and rocked 1st-3rd chair throughout middle and highschool.

my parents never made me practice, i WANTED to be good.

it was smart on their part, anything else they encouraged i rather bluntly avoided.

 

i kept my cello after highschool. the douche i chose to date after turning 18 needed cigarettes.

he pawned it for a few hundred bucks and didn't tell me until it was unaffordable to save.

 

my hatred ran so deep i've never considered repurchasing....

 

long story short? present, but don't push.

[aenemated]

i'm pretty sure the only reason i have any interest in playing music is my half brother, who is 12 years older than me.

 

it all started on his 18th birthday. i woulda been around 6. he got a '73 gibson les paul goldtop for birthday/graduation. i remember being completely enthralled by it; like it was this completely foreign apparatus intended for god knows what.

 

i asked him "what is that?"

 

he said "it's a gibson les paul goldtop. the only guitar you'll ever need."

 

my mom tells me she used to find me in my room asleep by the air vent; as i'd been laying there listening to him play.

 

so i'm pretty sure that's where it came from. and there's a goldtop les paul tattooed on me in honor of all that.

 

but i was pushed to be a pro golfer. started playing when i was 7 or so. was scratch by the time i was 15. then music got me, and it was all downhill since then. i remember my dad asking me why i was wasting time with "that {censored}?" so yeah, never any support for that.

 

i can still shoot par, though. depending on my putting.

[Gremson]

Go Hollywood!

 

How often do you get {censored} for being a drummer with a Les Paul tattoo?

[aenemated]

ha never, actually. there's so much, no one really seems to see it anyway.

 

though, one night i was in line to get into a show at some venue in hollywood ... and i overheard some kids behind me talking. one was like "whoa, that dude has a rad les paul tattoo!" and his friend responded "whatever, that's an old guy guitar."

 

goddamn little punks.

 

that said, i don't even have a LP goldtop anymore. sold it to fund my custom trussart steel deville. which is a LP shape, just a million years better.

 

i DO have two kanji i got when i was about 19 at the top of my right arm that i kept when my current tattooer was covering old, {censored}ty tattoos. when i got them, i was told one meant "to play music" and the other "to play drums."

 

being the worldly fella i am now, i have a japanese friend who i asked about them one night. she said they were no real english words for translation, but the best she could do is that it says "beautiful explosion."

 

which i think i like better.

[cearleywine]

What a {censored}ty story girlfriend, you should of took that {censored}ing loser to court.

[soundcreation]

It's a tough question to answer. I teach kids from 3 to 13 and motivation can be a challenge.

 

I was never forced to play anything. I loved music as long as I can remember. My mom said I use to sneak into my uncles room when I was 3 or 4...stick in the Elton John 8 track he had and jump on the bed to crocodile rock, and benny and the jets. Funny thing was though it took me forever to choose an instrument because I really couldn't decide. I wanted to play drums AND guitar (even bass too) and for some reason wanting both caused me to play neither. I finally got the drums at 16 or so and my mom was super supportive. But thinking back, it probably would have been better if she pressed me more. You know. Chose one for me or whatever.

 

Would I force my kid (if I had one)? I don't know. The easy answer is "you shouldn't have to force your kids to do anything". But the reality is most kids won't do {censored} if they don't have too. Even stuff they probably would really like. So sometimes you have to tell them to get their little asses in gear and get to work. I mean if your kid said.."dad I don't like math and don't want to do it"..would you say "OK, sweetie, you can quit math." ?

 

At the same time though we as musicians also have to understand that many people...not just kids, are really not into music the way we are. And you might have to be willing to accept that your daughter just isn't really that into learning music. This is VERY hard for musicians to understand.

 

It's a very rare kid that gets weirdly obsessive about playing an instrument..like a buddy rich or whatever. Most kids are just going to see practicing an instrument as a chore.

 

How old is your daughter? If she's on the younger side...you know, like 6 to 12 or so....I'd say make her practice. She can decide later if she doesn't really want to play. If she is older...14 and up...well...you might just have to accept that music isn't her thing....or hope she comes to it herself later.

[Carpathian]

 

present, but don't push.

 

 

I like this idea

[TheGirlfriend]

What a {censored}ty story girlfriend, you should of took that {censored}ing loser to court.

 

oh colby.

i have a gazillion {censored}ty stories that should have ended in "i sued 'em"

but i don't sue.

i sorta don't believe in it.

 

i'm content knowing that some people will die regretting the crappy stuff they've done.

and if they don't there's nothing i can do.

suing them would just give most people a push to screw someone else over to make up for lost funds.

 

i'm sure lack of suing can encourage the 'i can get away with this' attitude.

but his case was a prime exampe.

he would have gone to mom, borrowed her money and never paid it back. that would've made me feel even {censored}tier.

[KidAircrash]

Yes, and no. My dad started forcing me to play piano when I was 7. He plays keyboards professionally and gave me a few lessons at first. Then he forced me to practice for 30 minutes a day, every day or I was grounded. I really really hated it. I usually spent most of the 30 minutes hitting a few keys while daydreaming and watching my other friends play two-hand touch football right outside in the street.

 

When I was 9 my dad said that if I joined the school band, I could play another instrument instead of piano. I started playing saxophone and I liked it for awhile, but my band director was a dick. He made me hate it, because I was never as good as another kid who played saxophone with a real passion and he picked on me constantly.

 

It wasn't till I was 16 that I liked playing music, when I picked up the guitar and could play along to rock music that I loved to listen to.

 

When I have kids, I'm not going to force them to play anything. I'm going to just make musical instruments available for them to play and tell them how fun it is to play all the time. If they don't get into it oh well, there's more productive things they could be doing anyways.

 

Sorry for rambling with a bunch of run on sentences

[boxofrocks]

No my old man is a tough guy truck driver, he hated and still hates that I'm a musician, thinks that stuffs for girls and wimps, really he does.. Yet first thing he does when he gets in the car is turns on the radio, go figure..

I'd never force it on to my kids, much the same as religion, they make their own choices, but I do encourage it, art is a very important thing in my house, creativity is encouraged and rewarded, rather that be music, drawing, painting, video, even crochet or knitting whatever it is, it's encouraged.

[Shawn76]

I was not forced into playing but played cello in school.

My daughter plays violin. I don't push her to play or practice.She said she wanted to start playing it in 5th grade so I bought it for her.She is still playing it and is in 7th grade. She said she is going to play through High School as well.

I encourage her to do the best she can and to practice as much as possible to become good.

My son is starting to show more of an interest in drums and has been playing on my kit the past few weeks. He just goes up in my room and does drum rolls and hits cymbals,He is short for his age so he can't reach the bass pedal and hi hat pedal at the same time so I put the hi hats down for him and he uses the bass. I don't force it on him,he knows where they are and what times he can play.

I think forcing a kid to do anything will just result in a negative attitude towards whatever it is and they won't do as good as they would if they want to do something.

[Carminemw]

I was never forced...they saw I was interested early on and they sent me to lessons every Saturday ay Yeager's music store in Baltimore. I just loved it, practiced 2-3-sometimes 4 hours a day on my own. That and baseball were my loves I think. When I out grew Yeager's they sent me to the Peabody Conservatory. By then I was playing in bands in the neighborhood so drum practice changed to band practice, but I still lovd it...

 

Would I force a kid to practice? To a point but not to where it makes music detrimental or un funlike. If you push too hard, you turn them off on it. My granddaughters loved drums(now bass) and the other piano. One has an interest and now one does not. The younger one was good at it but it did not stick...she's now intoi basketball. Jenna has turned to the bass so to speak. She was forced with piano...she HATES it now...pity.

 

I tell my students that mom and dad only want the best for them and to be the best they can. Their job is to practice and to try and dedicate a little time each day. But when it's no longer important to them and they start to hate coming to lessons, I tell them to let their parents know (by then I will have seen it and already talked to them about the situation)...it's not supposed to be be an ordeal. Oh I tell the students it's going to get harder, but that doesn'e mean it's still not going to be fun. Some of the best times are when you succeed at things that are hard and you've earned. They just have to be the best THEY can be...not necessarily the best! I have one that practices at least a couple hours a day now. He's gonna be a player I can tell, and some that are like pulling teeth to get them to practice. I believe in nudging and not forcing.

[skinthrasher]

 

long story short? present, but don't push.

 

 

Oh! Boy! Have I presented! Birthday PRESENT! (drums, which I have to give her credit for getting me into playing) Christmas PRESENT! (guitar)

[JMR]

1.) no.

2.) no, If I ever have kids (doubtful), I'd want them to express interest by themselves.

[skinthrasher]

 

i can still shoot par, though. depending on my putting.

 

 

Nothin' better than a hot putter!

[zildjian@consol]

No and no, growing up wanted to race motocross, got really good ,practiced everyday. started racing pro in high school, invited to Mexico nation GP.A family down on their luck lives with me...long story, but good friends.Their daughter plays viola, we encourage her, I showed her how to learn to play hard parts by taking it 1 bar at a time, then taught her tempo,so her playing smoothed out , she jumped from seventh chair to 3rd chair. I think when kids struggle you need to show them how to get passed it so they have a good feeling about themselves....just my 2 cents

[skinthrasher]

 

No my old man is a tough guy truck driver, he hated and still hates that I'm a musician, thinks that stuffs for girls and wimps, really he does.. Yet first thing he does when he gets in the car is turns on the radio, go figure.. I'd never force it on to my kids, much the same as religion, they make their own choices, but I do encourage it, art is a very important thing in my house, creativity is encouraged and rewarded, rather that be music, drawing, painting, video, even crochet or knitting whatever it is, it's encouraged.

 

 

My daughter is a wonderful artist and can sketches with charcoals like nobodies business, very creative mind. Thats why i've really been verclamped by her non commital to the whole music thing. I know she would really have an affinity for it. She has been first chair on clarinet for the past 3 years in school band and very rarely practices like she should.

[satman]

no and ?

just my situation at the moment. my daughter is 19 and when she was younger she got into guitar from watching me play,she got really good and i was a happy dad but then all of a sudden boys came into the picture now the guitar sits in its case

to force the issue now is a lost cause.

[zildjian@consol]

no and ? just my situation at the moment. my daughter is 19 and when she was younger she got into guitar from watching me play,she got really good and i was a happy dad but then all of a sudden boys came into the picture now the guitar sits in its case to force the issue now is a lost cause.

 

Satman pick up her guitar and one of her favorite songs, but miss up on purpose to see if she'll notice, that might spark her to play

[satman]

 

Satman pick up her guitar and one of her favorite songs, but miss up on purpose to see if she'll notice, that might spark her to play

 

 

man thats so funny you said that.

sometimes when i want to mess with her head i will do just that.

i will start playing the intro to diary of a madman and i will jack it up and shes quick to correct me and show me how its done.

[keric]

I did not have music forced on me. Once my parents saw that I had an interest in drums all they asked was that I take it seriously and practice if they were going to take me to lessons every week. They were nothing but supportive of my playing over the years.

 

Likewise I did not force it on my son. When he was in grade school he got involved in band, trombone for some reason, and through his school years he always treated his participation in music as more social than inspirational. Since my college degree is in music education I helped him personally and worked after school with small group projects if his music teachers asked. I made sure that he respected his teacher's need to have the material learned for rehearsals, but I realized early on that his main passion was computers, so he was not going to take his playing beyond what was required in the classroom.