A question for those of you with kids...

[Kindness]

I like to let my boy know that I am there, by going in and giving him a kiss, giving him his stuffed animal, etc... but I don't usually pick him up unless it continues for a while and I think there might be something wrong. Generally that does not happen and he falls back asleep rather quickly. I don't like the idea of not going in at all. I want him to know that I am there, but I don't want him to depend on me to fall back asleep.

 

 

Exactly.

 

I thought my wife was a little over the top when she came up with the rule that Sean would never sleep with us in our bed. Several years later, while all of my friends struggle trying to get their children to sleep alone, we have yet to have a single night where sleeping in his own room has been an issue for Sean. I will be there first to admit that had there been any nights where "crying it out lasted" more than 3-5 minutes, I would have had a hard time with it, but that has never been the situation.

[RIC N BACKER]

there has to be a balance. you cant let them cry it out all the time and you cannot sleep in the crib with them.
I would not want my child to think that no one ever comes for them when they cry.
my 14 year old son will get up sometimes in the night to get a drink,take a piss whatever, I am at the door looking out on him to see if he is sleep walking or may need something. that just comes with being a parent.

my 11 daughter on the other hand will sometimes sniffle in bed till someone comes to ask...are you ok? but that an attention thing.

we or I decided before eith of them came home they were not sleeping in our bed as babies. 1- I was afraid of rolling over on the baby. 2- I wasnt letting anyone get in between me and the wife. you never know when a woody is going to make an appearance...lol

I think I only wacked each of my kids on the bottom less than 4 between the 2 of them in their early years. they never did anything that merited it. I didnt like that approach. they were reprimanded verbally and it seemed to work.

14 and 11 years later all this stuff in this thread is a vaugue memory. so far I think we have done good, they are good kids ......so far

lol

[lyricpoet]

One of my sister's-in-law's sister has let her son sleep in the same bed with her since day 1. He is now 17 years old and a {censored}ing freak of {censored} nature.

Will she be breaking any laws when the kid turns 18? if she's not, she should be- crazy wacked out wench.

I forgot to add- she's still married to her 1st husband. What he does is anyone's guess.

Boy if my SIL knew I was revealing this to the public, she'd have a nervous breakdown!

[J.]

You could try sleeping with earplugs in.

 

I knew a family that had a son who was extremely developmentally disabled because of a botched delivery (blame the doctor on that one). He couldn't walk or feed himself or anything, and many times he'd start to howl and wouldn't let up. When they built a new house they put in a "quiet room" that was soundproofed so they wouldn't have to by bothered by it.

[Emprov]

Constantly coddling a Child and picking it up every time it starts to cry is not a good thing.... you can thank me later:cool:

 

 

Like any other parent, I've seen a lot of kids be born and start their way in life. Can't say that I agree with your first statement 100%. I agree that picking a kid up every time it cries is a very, very bad idea but there are some kids that require a bit more effort, (and frustration). Our first was one of those and I've seen one or two others. We once let her cry for three straight nights...all night for each of the nights, none of use got any sleep whatsoever. Halfway through the fourth night we couldn't take it anymore, she literally would have been killed by one of us. Take into consideration that she wasn't a exactly a newborn, (still in her first year though), and we had been dealing with it for quite a while. Long term sleep deprivation is a pretty bad thing, it does nobody any good to let a kid cry night after night after night. Of course you could say that we didn't let her go long enough, maybe another week or two? Had anyone suggested that at the time they would have been shot, seriously.

[RIC N BACKER]

One of my sister's-in-law's sister has let her son sleep in the same bed with her since day 1. He is now 17 years old and a {censored}ing freak of {censored} nature. Will she be breaking any laws when the kid turns 18? if she's not, she should be- crazy wacked out wench. I forgot to add- she's still married to her 1st husband. What he does is anyone's guess. Boy if my SIL knew I was revealing this to the public, she'd have a nervous breakdown!

hold the phone!

are you saying that this person is still sleeping with her 17 YO son?

this is a crime of morality and probably some sort of child abuse( not even suggesting anything sexual) just the sleeping in the same bed thing is bad enough

[Svi]

I'm so screwed.

[Jazz Ad]

If you listen to your instinct rather than to tough guys and strong principles, you shall be fine.

If nothing else, you should consider that sleeping with your toddler is the best known prevention for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Letting babies cry it out belongs to the 19th century. Dozens of studies established that it brings absolutely no benefit.

[Kindness]

If you listen to your instinct rather than to tough guys and strong principles, you shall be fine.

 

 

Even if that is directed in part at my posts, I agree entirely.

[jasper383]

How old is she?

[willsellout]

Well good news folks. We put her down drowsy last night, she immediately woke up and started crying. That lasted all of about 20 minutes before going to sleep.That's a huge change from the 1.5 hour terror the night previous. She woke up at about 4 in the morning and started crying but me and the wife gave her a few minutes before we went in. turns out that's all she needed to put herself back to sleep. We didn't have to go to her at all in the night. Today she is happier than we've seen her in a long time so obviously no ill affects have taken place. She went down for a nap this afternoon and when we went up to check on her she was up and playing in her crib..which means she doesn't think of it as a prison. All in all, I know there will be some more rough nights possibly, but she has learned to put herself to sleep. Thank god.
I understand where everyone is coming from..but me and the wife need sleep and we as a married couple need time alone without a baby in the room. Our marriage has been suffering tremendously because of the stresses our daughter has brought on with this not sleeping/crying thing. The fact is I'm not willing to risk my marriage so that my kid can sleep with us. I don't think this will have any affect on her in the long run, and there is no conclusive evidence that proves it does. It's all opinions and for me, this is working better than the other several "gentler" methods out there.


Dan

P.S. MrsSvi-Yes you are screwed:D

[willsellout]

How old is she?

 

 

Almost 11 months

 

 

 

Dan

[willsellout]

 

 

Truth is JA that they have no idea what causes SIDS. There are plenty of articles out there that say co-sleeping is a cause of SIDS. I'm convinced no one knows what they are talking about with babies. Not one baby is the same, so how would one route bring about the best results for every child?

 

 

Dan

[willsellout]

MANY fathers of two or more hqave uttered this SAME sentence at your stage. Hell, I said it after the first kid!!! I bet EVEN LUG said it after the first one!

If I have another kid on purpose I'll give you your pick of my basses. I'm not kidding either. There won't be a second.


Dan

[lyricpoet]

hold the phone! are you saying that this person is still sleeping with her 17 YO son? this is a crime of morality and probably some sort of child abuse( not even suggesting anything sexual) just the sleeping in the same bed thing is bad enough

No, nothing sexual, of course, but she's 44-ish and yeah, this boy-child is 17.This is some serious effed up {censored} going on.

One of the posts talked (by whom I can't remember) about it being OK to let 5-8 year olds sleep with their parents. Well just keep going folks like this ditzy broad and you have the most pussified weirdo in the world.

I can't believe some of the pro sleep with parents {censored} I've read here. Where your info comes from must be some new age crystal worshipping dip{censored}.

Let the kid cry and cry and cry until they fall asleep- that's it....it's over. Next night a little bit of crying and boom out like a light. Night after that no crying.

That's the way of the world, folks. Don't {censored} up your kids! My 11 year old is the coolest guitar slinging long-haired no drugs resopects parents not shy no major issues best kid in the world. And that's coming from his father!

[lug]

If I have another kid on purpose I'll give you your pick of my basses. I'm not kidding either. There won't be a second. Dan

 

 

Every kid is different. My first slept 9 hours the first night and I only recall her waking up in the middle fo the night one or two times. My first set of twins woke up at three, ate, and was asleep by 4 almost every night. The youngest set of twins was more along the lines of what you ar experiencing but I aready had a good parent callus so it wasn't so bad for me.

[Emprov]

If I have another kid on purpose I'll give you your pick of my basses. I'm not kidding either. There won't be a second.

 

Sounds like you have an unusually demanding kid, they're not all like that. Believe it or not, two is actually easier than one in many respects. I think I'd kill myself if we hadn't had our second one.

[Thunderbroom]

It's actually this method that leads to insecure, whimpy children.

 

 

I beg to differ. Neither of my children are even close to insecure or wimpy. Neither has slept in bed with my wife and I nor were they coddled at bed time.

[willsellout]

Sounds like you have an unusually demanding kid, they're not all like that. Believe it or not, two is actually easier than one in many respects. I think I'd kill myself if we hadn't had our second one.

 

 

No it's not because of her. She's great with the exception of the sleeping issue which hopefully is becoming less of an issue. Me and the wife both kind of agreed that we just don't have the patience for another kid and we want to provide the best for her. You know, private schools and college etc. Plus me and the wife really have hopes of travelling quite a bit and being able to afford all the things that our parents couldn't afford when we were kids.

I know some will argue that only children are selfish and don't play well with others but I whole heartedly disagree and think it's all in how you raise them. I can't tell you how many people tell me "Oh it's way easier with two than one". Another point I contest. We just really want to have as much freedom as we can have and raise one kid right. Kudos to those of you who have more than one, much respect...but it isn't for us.

 

 

Dan

[Emprov]

We just really want to have as much freedom as we can have and raise one kid right.

 

You know, that's a point that is often forgotten. Having more than one kid totally makes you less portable. Now, you guys can pick up and take off to just about anywhere that you want to go. We have a bit more difficult time when going places. It's a lot better now that we don't have to take porta-cribs, bouncy seats and a diaper bag but still...

[willsellout]

You know, that's a point that is often forgotten. Having more than one kid totally makes you less portable. Now, you guys can pick up and take off to just about anywhere that you want to go. We have a bit more difficult time when going places. It's a lot better now that we don't have to take porta-cribs, bouncy seats and a diaper bag but still...

 

 

Yeah I'm looking forward to not having to tote her bedroom around with us:D

 

 

But yeah the ability to be able to take vacations and not spend 10 grand is a nice thought.

 

 

Dan

[Thunderbroom]

You know, that's a point that is often forgotten. Having more than one kid totally makes you less portable. Now, you guys can pick up and take off to just about anywhere that you want to go. We have a bit more difficult time when going places. It's a lot better now that we don't have to take porta-cribs, bouncy seats and a diaper bag but still...

Does it make you THAT less portable? Seriously, do two kids make travelling that much more burdensome? I would say having children period mades things more difficult.

[Thunderbroom]

Yeah I'm looking forward to not having to tote her bedroom around with us:D But yeah the ability to be able to take vacations and not spend 10 grand is a nice thought. Dan

 

 

If you're gonna spend $10k on a family of four for vacation, how much will you be spending for a family of three?

[willsellout]

If you're gonna spend $10k on a family of four for vacation, how much will you be spending for a family of three?

 

I don't know..whats one less plane ticket, three or four less meals a day, less... whatever; it adds up. But it's not really about the money it's about being able to go and enjoy the time and spend time with less stress. Money is only part of it. one more kid doubles everything.

 

 

Dan

[Thunderbroom]

I don't know..whats one less plane ticket, three or four less meals a day, less... whatever; it adds up. But it's not really about the money it's about being able to go and enjoy the time and spend time with less stress. Money is only part of it. one more kid doubles everything. Dan

 

 

I'm really sorry you feel that way Dan. From my experience, I'd say that travelling with two is less stressful than one. My two kids would entertain each other on long trips. Of course there were times that they'd fight, but that was much less than the time they spent playing games and whatnot passing time.