Members Fendercaster Posted September 14, 2005 Members Share Posted September 14, 2005 This past Saturday, I was getting ready for our gig, one of the most anticipated I've had in a long time. It was our first time in the venue, a small redneck/bikers bar, but a really fun place to play. After so many Moose clubs and American Legions, it's great to play a place where they're not constantly telling you to turn down and play more slow stuff! At 5:00, four hours before showtime, my other guitarist calls and tells me that he has an emergency at work, their website was down and he has to go in and see if he can get it up and running. I said okay, I'll see if I can find someone to cover for you. I called everyone in my book, but with such short notice, couldn't find anyone who could help us out. They were already playing or couldn't find a babysitter on such short notice. So, I dug through my old song lists, and we went in as a three piece band instead of four. The people loved us, we got more bookings and everything turned out fine. But here's the kicker - I found out that my other guitar player was playing that night with another band! I went to their web page, and there's his picture in the band photo! I knew that he'd been helping them out, their guitarist had just left the band, and he (our player) told me that he would be working with them when we weren't playing, though our band was his top priority. In fact, just last week, when I gave him the dates for some new jobs, he said "Great!, keep 'em coming!" Now, I know that players leave bands all the time, but the way he did this to us just burns me up. He knew damn well at least a week or two in advance that he would be playing the job with the other band Saturday night. If he had come to me then and said he was leaving us to go with them, I would have said okay, good luck, no hard feelings, shook his hand and started looking for a replacement. But four hours before we're to play, and lie to me?! I don't think so! This was a guitarist whom I'd admired for over 25 years, and I was so thrilled to be finally working with him in a band together. Well, we played together for a year, but it's certainly over now. He has a history of doing this to other bands, but I really didn't expect him to leave in the way he did. I lost a hell of a lot of respect for a great guitarist the other night! Sorry about the rant, but this has been making me fume for the last five days! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ShoNuf Posted September 14, 2005 Members Share Posted September 14, 2005 It amazes me the lengths that people will go to avoid simple confrontation. Seems to me all the dude would have had to do is be honest about the gig then a healthy dialog could have begun and then a decision could have been made. I have found that getting to the point, quickly and honestly (even if negative) is the best approach. Sorry to hear that man, I hope all goes better for you in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guitar Centaur Posted September 14, 2005 Members Share Posted September 14, 2005 Originally posted by ShoNuf It amazes me the lengths that people will go to avoid simple confrontation. Sometimes there's good reason for it (not saying that's the case here). I was in a band a few years back with a pair of brothers who turned out the be redneck racist assholes. The other guitar player and I had finally had enough of their constant whining about song selection, that we went over to gather our gear and give notice. (they wanted a setlist full of nothing but arena rock crap that NOBODY could dance to!) Well, Mr. redneck asshole decided to take it personally and get all "badass", threatening to kick the other guitarists ass (in typical bully fashion, he picked on the smaller of us two). I had to step between them before he took his badass act to the next level. These are the kinds of idiots that make lies and deceit from afar a viable alternative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members doubleR Posted September 14, 2005 Members Share Posted September 14, 2005 Bands are relationships--what your (now ex) guitarist did to you was just like having a girlfriend cheat on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zookie Posted September 14, 2005 Members Share Posted September 14, 2005 In my circles it's quite common for musicians to sit in with various bands. It's what you do. However, this is a different animal. He left you high and dry and wasn't truthful about it. It is analogous to cheating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Singin' Dave Posted September 14, 2005 Members Share Posted September 14, 2005 This sounds like pretty darn childish behavior, particularly for someone who has been playing for 25 years + (meaning he's old enough to stand up for himself and communicate honestly). You're better off without this jacka$$.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members guitarmook Posted September 14, 2005 Members Share Posted September 14, 2005 Fire him. Now. And... talk to the band he's playing with - you don't have to be mean about it, but tell them what they're in-for... tell them exactly what happened, and that you don't expect them to fire him, or anything, but that he flaked on you, and he doesn't work for you anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members caveman Posted September 14, 2005 Members Share Posted September 14, 2005 Get your three man act together and when he shows up for the next gig tell him you no longer need his no good ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Locke Posted September 14, 2005 Members Share Posted September 14, 2005 Originally posted by caveman Get your three man act together and when he shows up for the next gig tell him you no longer need his no good ass. We did something like that with an asshole drummer we had before our current one. We had an upcoming gig in two weeks and I found a new drummer who was a better player and, most of all, a good guy. Our then current drummer had had two {censored}ing months to learn the songs but no. He was the sole reason a few gigs went really badly. He didn't know even one song from beginning to end and always said he'd learn them by next time. Yeah, right. Well, two days before the gig he calls me and asks where we should meet and I tell him he doesn't need to come because we'll be doing the gig with another line-up. Of course he got upset but what was he gonna do? Stupid {censored}. Oh well, glad we got rid of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tin whistle Posted September 14, 2005 Members Share Posted September 14, 2005 have sex with his girlfriend/wife/boyfriend. that'll learn him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members EugeneBr Posted September 15, 2005 Members Share Posted September 15, 2005 One of my friends once left a band after the leader explained his badass behaviour by saying to her: "Because I'm a star and you're nobody!" This wasn't the first time he did it, either. That used-to-be leader still plays sometimes, but mostly solo ... and I don't even wonder why...Fendercaster, this guitarist will get what he deserves, one way or another... Just make sure your band doesn't share it with him. Well, I mean, yes, like everyone else here says, fire him, get a new player and strive for the future, instead of squelching through the past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members flip333 Posted September 15, 2005 Members Share Posted September 15, 2005 quote:--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Originally posted by caveman Get your three man act together and when he shows up for the next gig tell him you no longer need his no good ass. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yea, socialize with him. Be his pal. Let him show up for the gig like everything is fine. Then let him have it: "Hey Wally, the Beav and I been thinkin we'll do OK with out ya. I'm sorry an' all, but it just seems like its best for everyone." He won't know what to say, because he will know he deserves it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wheresgrant3 Posted September 15, 2005 Members Share Posted September 15, 2005 A few years back I had a popular cover band that did pop tunes punk style. We had built up quite a following. We played together for over five years and although none of us were friends (in the sense that we would hang out together on our time off)we had a manageable working relationship. However the last six months I could tell our singer wasn't happy. He was drinking more often at shows. He was always "Hot or cold" but he was becoming more "Hot" than cold. On one Monday after a gig, he called me to say that he wanted out.... it wasn't fun for him anymore. I understood, and I looked at our calander. We had some new rooms booked which I felt I could cancel however we had two important shows coming up and asked... well would you mind filling in these last two shows until we could decide to find a replacement OR just retire the band. His answer was "Nahhhh.... Sorry dude... I'm just not feelin it". I was professional.... I relayed his message to our bandmates and we agreed to end it instead of looking for a new singer. Me and the singer didn't talk to each other for 3 years. Then we bumped into each other at a street music festival. I had moved on to a few other successful bands... he hadn't done anything musically. We got a beer together at a local bar and decided to catch up with each other. After two beers he mentions to me that he sees my current band playing all over the place, and that I must be making some good coin. I respond "Yup!" and gigs are steady and cool. He replies that he's forming a new band and that wouldn't play out as much as my current band and if I was interested, maybe I could fill in on guitar. They would work around my band's schedule. My reply.... "Naaaaaaah .... I'm not feeling it" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Meatball Fulton Posted September 15, 2005 Members Share Posted September 15, 2005 Originally posted by Fendercaster He has a history of doing this to other bands, but I really didn't expect him to leave in the way he did. Read what you just wrote! If he's done it before to other bands, why should yours be any different? Good riddance I say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members flip333 Posted September 15, 2005 Members Share Posted September 15, 2005 What goes around comes around. Don't forget to be consistent with your own intentions. Peace in the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ermghoti Posted September 16, 2005 Members Share Posted September 16, 2005 Fire him, and invite his girlfriend to be the guest of honor at a gang-bang. Guitarists are a dime a dozen. Sad but true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members slapjaw Posted September 17, 2005 Members Share Posted September 17, 2005 Let him go !!!!!!!!! You don't need that kind of trouble in any type of band. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Scafeets Posted September 17, 2005 Members Share Posted September 17, 2005 Fire him four hours before then next gig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mstreck Posted September 18, 2005 Members Share Posted September 18, 2005 F**k him. You're 100% better off without him. Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dughaze Posted September 18, 2005 Members Share Posted September 18, 2005 Originally posted by Scafeets Fire him four hours before then next gig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members fuzzball Posted September 21, 2005 Members Share Posted September 21, 2005 I would let him go, you just can't trust him now. I did leave a band without notice once. I was in a band as a bass player and the guitarist was a major pain in the ass. We were practicing for a gig and he was being a big ass, he would only play the songs he wanted to play even if they were well out of his range. After the practice a the guitarist and I got together and talked about it, we decided to quit (this was a day before the gig). We then started a new band that was much better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Europa760 Posted September 21, 2005 Members Share Posted September 21, 2005 thats {censored}ed up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members FWAxeIbanez Posted September 23, 2005 Members Share Posted September 23, 2005 Originally posted by fuzzball I would let him go, you just can't trust him now. I did leave a band without notice once. I was in a band as a bass player and the guitarist was a major pain in the ass. We were practicing for a gig and he was being a big ass, he would only play the songs he wanted to play even if they were well out of his range. After the practice a the guitarist and I got together and talked about it, we decided to quit (this was a day before the gig). We then started a new band that was much better. I was in a side project band for a short time with the other guitarist in my main band... it was a lot like that, he kept playing these songs horribly and wanted to be top dog... I am always the hitler of any band I'm in because I'm so picky about stuff... I have always believed in cutting out the fat, so if a riff sucked I'd say so (with tact, naturally) and I'd expect others to do the same to me... anyway, I had to quit, cuz being the riff nazi in two bands at once was just too draining Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ThomasH Posted September 23, 2005 Members Share Posted September 23, 2005 Just tell the man straight up that he is out. Don't play games with him. Why bother with that kind of petty {censored}? Just get rid of him and move on. And remember that live is too short to spend it holding grudges. Maybe his stupid behaviour will turn out as a blessing in disguise. You could try out being a three-piece band for a while. Who knows, maybe you will end up prefering it. Just talk to your band members about it. Communication is key. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members seahorse Posted September 24, 2005 Members Share Posted September 24, 2005 The coldest way to fire this guy is to do it the way a rock star would. Get a third party to call him up and say " The band got together and decided that you were no longer needed. You just don't fit in." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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