Played a terrible show Saturday

[alwaysharp]

My buddy and I have been writing a few tunes with the intent of getting together a full band and we played a gig on Saturday. We played with just the two of us on guitar and vox. Which would of been fine. I mean, we sound just fine that way. But...my buddy decided to get himself "lubed" up for the show. Suffice to say, it was awful. He didn't tune up. I had my tuner and tried to hand it to him and he was like, "oh, I'll just tune up to you." So I was pissed. I told him to just use the damn tuner. But he wouldn't. So he starts tuning up and the sound guy comes over the PA saying that he didn't want to hear him tuning up in the PA. So he stopped tuning and never fully tuned up. Then we start to actually play. First off it sounds awful 'cause of the tuning. But secondly his singing sounds like crap. And on top of all that, he kept missing chord changes and putting in changes where there weren't supposed to be any.

 

After the show I'm visibly pissed. Frankly, I was embarrassed. Not to sound like an ass, but I consider myself a fairly professional musician. I mean, I can play decent and I've gigged enough in enough different venues and genres that I kinda know the drill. I thought this guy did too. But obviously not. I felt like I was playing in some half-assed, high school garage band. So anyway, he then starts to go on about how that gig was lame, and {censored} this stupid little town. Which it was a lame ass gig in a lame ass town buuuuttt, I kept telling him, that is NOT THE POINT. But he just didn't seem to get it. I'm in the "there's no bad gigs" camp. Ugh, it's frustrating.

 

Long story short, he had me convinced that he was into making good music and what not. But the fact of the matter is he's really just more concerned with trying to be a rock star. Or thinking he already is one or something. See, that was my first experience with someone like that and I'll tell you what, it totally blows.

 

*catches breath*

 

Alright, rant over.

 

[VonBonfire]

Live and learn man. There are plenty of rejects to go around in the music scene. Even on a local level.

 

I get "lubed" before the show, just not "trashed" which is what it sounds like your out of tune cohort was.

 

I had to let a really good bass player go once cause he was "lubed" until 3 o clock the following afternoon. Everyday.

 

It's best to tell this guy to take a walk. You wrote some songs. Call that enough time wasted. You got no time to waste. You should realize you got no time, unless music is just recreational for you.

 

Save yourself a hassle. Wastoid rockers were hard working musicians before they became wastoids. The guys who are wastoids prior to being stars are rare, virtually to the point of non existence. Ditch 'em.

 

.....although, a guys gotta call his own shots. Do what you know is best and it'll work out.

[Li10]

damn, think you've written all those wonderful, masterfully crafted songs, and then some guy completely destroys them.

 

This echoes Bluestrat's advice - it only takes one guy being an idiot to make the rest of the band look like idiots. Not that you looked like an idiot... but it was a damn good bit of advice. Actually what I quoted was a statement. But I'm trying to make a point!! Gargh I hate it when I do this.

[alwaysharp]

Ya, well we did look like idiots. That's what I'm saying. It sucks too because he is a really good friend of mine. So I feel awkward about it. If it was just some random musician I managed to hook up with that's one thing. I've never had a hard time in that situation. But under these circumstances, with him being my buddy and all, I'm pretty sure it's gonna be one of those things where he's gonna be quite bitter. But oh well. That's part of the gig.

 

And the other thing is that I do take music seriously. I would like to make my living with music. I mean, I don't have pipe dreams of being a rock star. But, I'd love to make my living by teaching and gigging. I'm an avid jazz guy and I have hook ups to good gigs. So it's a real possibility. But this guy just wants to be Pete Doherty. Who, if you don't know, is the lead singer of the Libertines and Babyshambles. The guy is a literal crackhead, heroin addict junky. Given he is an amazing writer. But nothing I would aspire to. Anyway, I'll give an update as to what happens. I'm half expecting the "well next time I won't drink so much yada yada" sort of response. But, I've been through that sort of thing with other people under other circumstances and I've found that it's never true. So I don't really see it going any other way than splitsville.

 

It's seriously like breaking up with a girl or something. See, I'm used to gigging and what not on an on-call sort of deal. I was in a solid band back in the day but we split in a fairly logical, easy sort of way. This whole thing is new to me. Playing for fourteen years, gigging for the past five pretty good, but man. This sucks. But ya, lesson learned. Experience is the best teacher they say.

[bloolight]

Wow, that sounded like a nightmare. I was afraid our gig on Saturday was going to be the same way, but it was due to my singer being in a car accident earlier in the week and suffering a fairly bad concussion. He was still a little spacey at the gig, and screwed up a few chord changes. Fortunately, he's good enough to cover such slips, and the people watching didn't notice. We were lucky, I suppose that the "crowd" was pretty thin...we did manage to get a few kindergarten-age kids to dance like fools during our version of "Crossroads." It was a shaky night, but we got through.

 

I'd never play with a drunk or a druggie under any circumstances. It's just too painful to get stuck on stage during a situation like you described.

[BlueStrat]

Here's the deal: There are 6 billion people on the planet. Odds are, there is one that can write and play with you and not make you look like an amature doofus. I'd set about looking for one and tell your pal that friends are friends, but business is business, and to go find someone else to humiliate.

[Li10]

another great bit of Bluestrat advice...

[rvschulz]

Here's the deal: There are 6 billion people on the planet. Odds are, there is one that can write and play with you and not make you look like an amature doofus. I'd set about looking for one and tell your pal that friends are friends, but business is business, and to go find someone else to humiliate.

 

while i admit that this is a true statement, well, i don;t have the time to interview 6 billion ... holy crap ! i know, you are just making a good point, and i am in a silly mood.

[Scafeets]

I'd show up at a friend's wedding or funeral trashed before I'd {censored} up his gig. With friends like that....

[I was The Funk]

It seems this issue comes up a lot. There was a thread about it last week where the same advice was offered.

 

Here's the deal. Despite what people see as the "rock and roll lifestyle", music is not exempt from the rules governing everything else in life. Success is dependent on

 

1. Hard Work

2. DISCIPLINE

3. Luck.

 

If you take it seriously and act professionally (part of disciple) then you can take advantage of luck.

 

The difference with live performance is that you are 100% staking your reputation every time you play. If you suck, then you lose everyone who saw you suck.

 

Given that, I don't know why ANYONE would choose to play drunk. Who knows who is going to be in the audience that night.

[callous]

Who is the leader of your band--you or him? Take charge, and tell him what you expect at the next gig. If he fails again, then can him.

 

If he balks at you taking charge, then quit.

 

You must take action, or you will end up in that situation again.

[Singin' Dave]

 

Who is the leader of your band--you or him? Take charge, and tell him what you expect at the next gig. If he fails again, then can him. If he balks at you taking charge, then quit. You must take action, or you will end up in that situation again.

 

 

I think I'm with this one. Give him one more shot, but clearly define your expectations ahead of time - not too wasted to play, tuned, prepared etc.

 

If any of these aren't in line, you have clearly laid out what you expect and he has clearly not given a feck - then get out of it. But if this guy is a good friend as you say, one more try after an open and honest talk is the way to go IMO

[alwaysharp]

Well, I'm not giving him another shot. I'm actually moving in the next few weeks to go to school. So, he's on his own. But, even if I wasn't moving, I'd be done with it anyway. I don't have the time or patience. I've been playing, practicing, studying and working my ass off for the past fourteen years to be at the level I'm at. I prefer to work with people who take it just as serious. He just had me fooled is all. The gig, and his reaction to it, made it very clear that he's not that serious. He just has delusions of grandeur. Anyway, school should be awesome and I should have no problem starting a number of projects with serious musicians.

 

[wades_keys]

 

~Where we're going we don't need F major 7's.

 

 

I gotta say i love that quote - specially since the notes for FM7 are FACE:thu:

[Opus Antics]

Not to defend him, because what he did was a huge no-no, but if he knew you were leaving to go to school and would be doing new different stuff with other people, maybe his heart wasn't in it. Maybe those comments about stupid little town and all that were more directed at him losing his buddy. Maybe he didn't know how to handle it and that's why he got drunk and ended up sucking.

 

I don't know. Just saying maybe you can still save the friendship - don't leave mad. Maybe he's just bummed that you're leaving and not handling it well.

[alwaysharp]

No, I don't think so. He keeps saying, "Dude, like, when you go down south I'm totally coming with you. I'll just crash on your couch and we'll totally rock it." And I've had to let him know that that's not happening. He got drunk because he's a hopeless alcoholic. Not to get on his case, or give out too much info, but him and I have both recently gotten into trouble with the law. Where I've taken to the doing better for myself, staying sober, going to school, not being around the same people and environment I was in, he's the complete opposite. He went right back to his old ways. And this wasn't his first time in a situation like this where it is mine. So I just don't see him changing or anything. And frankly, I'm the guy who always thinks he can help his friends do better for themselves yada yada. All the while, I let my life go to {censored} in the process. And I'm not blaming my friends, I probably do it so I don't have to try. That way I can't fail sort of thing. Ya know, be on top of the {censored} pile. Well, I'd much rather be at the bottom of the winner pile and try to work my way up. I'm far too...capable of living the life I want to just let it go. Anyway, sorry to rant and go off on a tangent. It's just that there are other factors that I can't really mention. But they affect the situation a great deal. But hey, school will be friggin awesome.

[alwaysharp]

Btw, thanks about the qoute. That's my clever little catch phrase that's managed to stick.

[TotalPoser]

Yeah, sounds like you're doing right in ditching the loser. I love people who think they can just leach off people forever. We had a lead guitarist like that, who one night (while we were trying to set up for the show he had booked) wanted to borrow our other guitarist's truck because he had to move out of his apartment the very next day...our guitarist let him know in no uncertain terms that that wasn't hapening, since he was all ready going to be out of town. He had to tell him a couple times that "No, you can't borrow the truck since I'm leaving early tomorrow morning." People like that think the world revolves around them.

 

Someday reality will hit him, but doesn't sound like anytime soon.

[BlueStrat]

 

Well, I'd much rather be at the bottom of the winner pile and try to work my way up. I'm far too...capable of living the life I want to just let it go.

 

 

With an attitude like that, you'll probably get there. Good on ya. Keep it up!

[corbind]

Yea, booze can make anyone sound worse. I have lots of experience in that.