do any teens here have problems with parents going to all your gigs

[thetrooper9]

my mom and my grandparents go to all my gigs it would be a little better if they came because they like my music but i know they dont like my kind of music. my mom will usually set up a camera to film me but if i watch it all i hear is them talking the whole time. its just really annoying that they come, and worse that they dont even listen to my playing.

 

i think ill wait until im on my way to the gig before i tell my mom about it next time.

 

i was wondering if anyone else has had this problem?

[rhat]

 

my mom and my grandparents go to all my gigs it would be a little better if they came because they like my music but i know they dont like my kind of music. my mom will usually set up a camera to film me but if i watch it all i hear is them talking the whole time. its just really annoying that they come, and worse that they dont even listen to my playing. i think ill wait until im on my way to the gig before i tell my mom about it next time. i was wondering if anyone else has had this problem?

 

 

 

 

I feel your pain. Thank god when I played in working bands in high school for 4 years that my or any of the other parents never showed up at any gigs. They were real cool about just staying out of the way ,, but were very supportive when it came to helping out with the cost of gear. Gear was god awful expensive in the 60s

[Rich4Once]

I'd say be happy that they care enough to go, even though they don't like the music. That means they love you, which isn't really such a bad thing. My dad did everything he could to keep me from playing guitar...I didn't get one until my parents divorced and mom got it for me at Christmas.

 

When my kid brother was 12, he went to stay with him for a summer. He left our house with his guitar, some clothes, and hair down to his shoulders. When he got to dad's house, the guitar went in the closet and he was taken to a barber. He didn't get his guitar back until they were leaving for the airport to come home. It took quite a long while for his hair to grow back out. He swore he'd never visit dad again...he's 35 now and still hasn't.

 

Be happy your folks are supportive...there are so many out there who aren't.

[rhat]

 

I'd say be happy that they care enough to go, even though they don't like the music. That means they love you, which isn't really such a bad thing. My dad did everything he could to keep me from playing guitar...I didn't get one until my parents divorced and mom got it for me at Christmas. When my kid brother was 12, he went to stay with him for a summer. He left our house with his guitar, some clothes, and hair down to his shoulders. When he got to dad's house, the guitar went in the closet and he was taken to a barber. He didn't get his guitar back until they were leaving for the airport to come home. It took quite a long while for his hair to grow back out. He swore he'd never visit dad again...he's 35 now and still hasn't. Be happy your folks are supportive...there are so many out there who aren't.

 

 

 

Supportive is one thing,,,, showing up at the gigs with a camara ,,,thats a little too much support in my book. ya got to give kids some space ,, esepcially when it comes to bands. supportive is helping with gear, hosting practice , buying a mini van etc.

[slight-return]

I try to be supportive of teenage musicians, but they usually kick me out after they tell me they have garments with underwires for that kind of support

[thetrooper9]

im going to see frank vignola play this week and my grandparents are going with me. this is really pissing me off because they dont like that kind of music they just want to talk to me but i wanna relax and pay close attention to frank's playing.

[slight-return]

tell them

 

you could go soft sell

"grans, it's one of those concerts that's really more for musicians - the music is kind of left field and they don't really like chatting during the performance. I know it's not your cup and I'd hate to have you sit there bored. How about I meet you for desert and coffee after the show?"

 

Or you could go in more direct

"grans, I'm really really excited to see this guy for me it's a lesson as a well as a show. I'd really like to go alone so I can concentrate fully on the music."

[Hegmatronicon]

 

im going to see frank vignola play this week and my grandparents are going with me. this is really pissing me off because they dont like that kind of music they just want to talk to me but i wanna relax and pay close attention to frank's playing.

 

 

How old are you? It may be that they are chapperoning.

[Hegmatronicon]

 

I try to be supportive of teenage musicians, but they usually kick me out after they tell me they have garments with underwires for that kind of support

 

 

LMAO!!!!

[thetrooper9]

im 17 im about to start college. i wanna do some things on my own.

[Hegmatronicon]

im 17 im about to start college. i wanna do some things on my own.

 

Hmm ok. Well - best thing to do is sit down and explain that stuff to your parents Be nice about it tho.

[TBH]

My parents have never come to a gig of mine, ever.

[Nobody Told Me]

Trooper9, just be glad they aren't coming up on stage to fix your hair or straighten your clothes. I saw a "band mom" who would not let her son finish a song before she was up in his face, coaching him in front of the audience. He looked like he wanted to crawl away and die. I felt sorry for him.

[GreenAsJade]

I totally don't get what the problem is.

 

Are the parents making a scene at the gig, or sitting quietly at the back with a camera? If the latter WTF who cares!?

 

"Hey, mom, it's great that you're supporting my gigs, but it's a little embarrasing when you stand at the front with the camera, kinda dampens the rock & roll vibe. Do you think you could be a bit more discrete?"

 

GaJ

[chadd]

Hmm ok. Well - best thing to do is sit down and explain that stuff to your parents Be nice about it tho.

 

Something along the lines of:

I appreciate your support but I've noticed that you guys end up talking (I'm assuming) about other things all through the show. If you aren't into the music, please don't feel like you have to be there. In fact, lately it has been making me feel a little uncomfortable knowing that you guys aren't there to enjoy the music.

 

It may work, it may not work, but at least you've been polite and given them the chance to back out gracefully.

[WynnD]

My Mother showed up for two of my gigs in my life. (40 years of playing.) My Father attended one. Never expected them to understand the music. If they lived closer, they might have attended Jesus Christ Superstar performance that I was playing bass for. My Dad's been gone for 14 years, I wish I had your problem. (Maybe you'll come around in 40 years.)

[Nijyo]

My parents came to every "school band" performance I had, all the way up through the end of high school. Though interestingly, not for the theater productions I was in.

 

But they stayed away from my "rock" playing. At least where my Mom was concerned, she wanted me in music, but I think the potential "evil" (not kidding in any way shape or form, she really believed it) of metal kept her away *and* keeping an eye to make sure I didn't start sacrificing doves in the basement.

[Lopp]

 

I wish I had your problem. (Maybe you'll come around in 40 years.)

 

 

+1 to both.

[germs]

My parents fought me tooth and nail about my pursuit of music. They were never supportive, and attempted to stifle any amount of influence it had in my life, including but not limited to clothes, the music I listened to (CD and radio), and the amount of guitar I was allowed to play.

 

Sometimes, I feel they regret enrolling me in lessons in the first place. Not that those lasted long anyway...

 

Point is, my parents have come to exactly ONE gig in 10 years. My band was playing the opening slot for a national act at the biggest venue in town (biggest that wasn't the 'dome, that is). They came, showed their faces, and left about 20 minutes after my set. Not a word said.

 

Shortly after, I had a sit down with them and explained the best I could about my decisions in life. It took a few years, but they've eventually come to accept what it is I want to do.

 

I'm not saying you're following the same path. Sounds to me like you just want some space. I wish my parents were half as supportive as yours. Truly I do. There's a lot of good advice here, and a lot of the "flip side of the coin" - just goes to show you that things are not usually the situation you're dealing with. Could be worse...

[thetrooper9]

yeah im glad there not as bad as not wanting me to play. there was one point when i was 8 or 9 when my dad didnt want me listining to music.

i just got a tv in my room and i found a channel that played music videos all day. i would watch it for hours then one day my dad blocked it. i dont know why he did that he never said anything about it was just blocked one day. hes the one thats been to a judas priest concert.

hopefully i wont have to deal with it much longer.

[Ender_rpm]

Welcoem to the transisiton to adult hood mang. Your parents will still try and keep you as "thiers" when you are ready to be out in the world. BE thankful they are supportive, and want to spend time with you. That's probably the key thing here: they love you and WANT to spend time with youwhen you are doing what you love because they like to see you happy. that is a very good thing You'll go off to college soon, get swept up in the scene, and the little boy they have known and cared for all these years will harden into a man. Take the time to appreciate this last bit of time before you leave the nest, and absorb all the wisdom you can, before you are out on tour in a {censored}ty van one day and your mom calls to tell you your grandfather passed away and can you make it home for the funeral when you are "making" $50/day. Not that I learned that lesson or anything. Best of luck andhave fun!!

[sabriel9v]

 

My parents fought me tooth and nail about my pursuit of music. They were never supportive, and attempted to stifle any amount of influence it had in my life, including but not limited to clothes, the music I listened to (CD and radio), and the amount of guitar I was allowed to play. Sometimes, I feel they regret enrolling me in lessons in the first place. Not that those lasted long anyway... Point is, my parents have come to exactly ONE gig in 10 years. My band was playing the opening slot for a national act at the biggest venue in town (biggest that wasn't the 'dome, that is). They came, showed their faces, and left about 20 minutes after my set. Not a word said. Shortly after, I had a sit down with them and explained the best I could about my decisions in life. It took a few years, but they've eventually come to accept what it is I want to do. I'm not saying you're following the same path. Sounds to me like you just want some space. I wish my parents were half as supportive as yours. Truly I do. There's a lot of good advice here, and a lot of the "flip side of the coin" - just goes to show you that things are not usually the situation you're dealing with. Could be worse...

 

 

Ditto. To the OP, be glad your mom and grandma give a {censored} about your weird music.

[WynnD]

This is a time of transition for you and your parents. Some parents make the transition from parent to friend and others try to prevent its occurrence. The change went well for my Son and myself. He's become a man that I would enjoy spending time with even if we weren't related. I feel sorry for people whose families aren't like that.

[Citizen_Insane]

 

This is a time of transition for you and your parents. Some parents make the transition from parent to friend and others try to prevent its occurrence. The change went well for my Son and myself. He's become a man that I would enjoy spending time with even if we weren't related. I feel sorry for people whose families aren't like that.

 

 

This is a good way to put it. My mom and I have learned to become really good friends since I've moved out. But we've always gotten along pretty well. She's the one that nurtured me into doing music in the first place. When I quit violin in high school her brother gave me my first guitar and she immediately went out and bought me my first amp....not a black face champ, but a complete POS Crate SS. Oh well, we didn't know any better back then.

 

On the other hand, my dad seems completely incapable of making the transition from father to friend. He lets his pride get in the way of everything and he always knows what's right:facepalm:

[boxorox]

A lot of folks on my Dad's side were pretty talented musicians. More on a personal enjoyment level. Music was important to them. My mother, although not fond of the style I was into, was very supportive. She came out to see me just once. Somebody spilled beer down her back (it was really crowded) and she dumped a pitcher on him. Much hilarity ensued.

My suggestion would be to start taping shows so you can rough synch that footage your Mom's taking. You might not think so now, but you will really treasure that stuff in a few years.