Members wheresgrant3 Posted November 22, 2013 Members Share Posted November 22, 2013 A friend sent this to me.. I laughed. Things You Will NEVER Hear at a Band Sound CheckIf you've played in a working band, you've been through the routine a thousand times. Pull in at a club, haul your gear in, set up and hope you have time to check the sound before downbeat. Below is a list of things no participant at a sound check said. Ever.From the band leader:The levels are perfect! Wow, that didn't take long! Whatever it says on the sound plot I sent you is exactly what we need. No worries, we can skip the sound check. I trust you to get it right on the fly. No thanks. I don't drink. From the singer:My mic is too hot. Can you turn it down? I can't hear enough lead guitar. Too much reverb! No thanks. I don't drink. From the guitaristOf course I can play quieter. Turn up the singer's mic. She's our real focal point. The drums need to be louder. MUCH louder. No thanks. I don't drink. From the drummerYeah, that was me speeding up. Sorry. Wait. I need to check my charts. No thanks. I don't drink. From the bass playerThanks for adjusting the amp while I was gone. It sounds way better now. Hey, can someone get these groupies outta here? No thanks. I don't drink. From the sound crew:The sound plot you emailed last month? I have it right here. We'll be happy to help you load in. Wow, thanks. I could really use your help running the board. Take as long as you like to get your guitar sound perfect Go ahead and move the mic's wherever you want them. No thanks. I don't drink. From the club owner:No problem if your crowd doesn't show, our regulars usually fill the house. Of course, drinks are free for your girlfriends/boyfriends too. Play for however long you want. We'll pay you for the extra time. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Vito Corleone Posted November 22, 2013 Members Share Posted November 22, 2013 haha! Love it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TIMKEYS Posted November 22, 2013 Members Share Posted November 22, 2013 You will hear no thanks I don't drink out of three of us in our band and even in the side project the front man does not drink till after the show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members guitarguy19 Posted November 22, 2013 Members Share Posted November 22, 2013 wheresgrant3 wrote: A friend sent this to me.. I laughed. Things You Will NEVER Hear at a Band Sound Check If you've played in a working band, you've been through the routine a thousand times. Pull in at a club, haul your gear in, set up and hope you have time to check the sound before downbeat. Below is a list of things no participant at a sound check said. Ever.From the band leader:The levels are perfect! Wow, that didn't take long! Said it.Whatever it says on the sound plot I sent you is exactly what we need. Definitely said it.No worries, we can skip the sound check. I trust you to get it right on the fly. We rarely, if ever, soundcheck. God love Presonus and your own full time sound man.No thanks. I don't drink. Don't drink at shows.From the singer:My mic is too hot. Can you turn it down? Spot on.I can't hear enough lead guitar. Spot on.Too much reverb! N/ANo thanks. I don't drink. Don't drink at shows.From the guitaristOf course I can play quieter. Said it many times, and am happy to do it. Sound crews LOVE our band.Turn up the singer's mic. She's our real focal point. N/AThe drums need to be louder. MUCH louder. Spot on.No thanks. I don't drink. Don't drink at shows.From the drummerYeah, that was me speeding up. Sorry. Spot on.Wait. I need to check my charts. N/ANo thanks. I don't drink. Don't drink at shows.From the bass playerThanks for adjusting the amp while I was gone. It sounds way better now. N/AHey, can someone get these groupies outta here? LOLNo thanks. I don't drink. Don't drink at shows.From the sound crew:The sound plot you emailed last month? I have it right here. Spot on.We'll be happy to help you load in. Spot on.Wow, thanks. I could really use your help running the board. And again.Take as long as you like to get your guitar sound perfect And again.Go ahead and move the mic's wherever you want them. And again.No thanks. I don't drink. And again.From the club owner:No problem if your crowd doesn't show, our regulars usually fill the house. Most places we play fit this bill. We play all destination spots that are fairly busy. Anyone we bring is a bonus (most nights).Of course, drinks are free for your girlfriends/boyfriends too. Spot on.Play for however long you want. We'll pay you for the extra time. Spot on.Thank you. We get thank you all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Vito Corleone Posted November 22, 2013 Members Share Posted November 22, 2013 guitarguy19 wrote: We rarely, if ever, soundcheck. God love Presonus and your own full time sound man. For us it's a Behringer X32, but yeah we rarely soundcheck either. When we do it's more about dialing in the room acoustics than anything to do with setting levels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted November 24, 2013 Moderators Share Posted November 24, 2013 Pretty funny and almost right. It's comedy so... I gotta say I've been incredibly lucky with drummers in my life. 3 of my favorite people in the planet are drummers I've worked with and you'll hear exactly this from them "From the drummerYeah, that was me speeding up. Sorry. Wait. I need to check my charts. No thanks. I don't drink." Along with "I need to hear the vocalist and/or bassist more please." Along with "you want a lighter cymbal/snare attack?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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