Members wednesdaysworse Posted July 22, 2005 Members Share Posted July 22, 2005 I was trading jokes about band members at a recent summer fest with one of the sound guys. I learned a few new ones and am looking for more. Some samples: Q - "How do you get a drummer off your porch?"A - "Pay him for the pizza." Q - "How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?"A - " Six. One to change it and five more to say, 'I can do that' ." Any more? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members paulandpaul Posted July 22, 2005 Members Share Posted July 22, 2005 How do you know a drummer is at your front door? The knock speeds up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mightysasquatch Posted July 22, 2005 Members Share Posted July 22, 2005 What do you call a musician without a girlfriend? Homeless. Why do people play bass? They are too lazy to learn the other two strings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Help!I'maRock! Posted July 22, 2005 Members Share Posted July 22, 2005 actually its: how many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb? 10. one to do it, and 9 to say, i can do that, but if you really want it done correctly, you have to do it like this. how do you stop a guitarist from playing? put a sheet of music in front of him. what happened when the bassist locked his keys in his car? he spent 20 minutes trying to get the drummer out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members t_e_l_e Posted July 22, 2005 Members Share Posted July 22, 2005 whats the difference between the PLO and a lead gitarist? at least you can negotiate with the PLO how do you call the guy hanging out all time with musicians? drummer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members superunknown Posted July 22, 2005 Members Share Posted July 22, 2005 What's the last thing a drummer says before getting kicked out of the band? - Hey guys, let's try one of my songs. How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb? - Well, it only takes one to steal the spotlight. What is the bassist's official job in the band? - To translate for the drummer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Woody777 Posted July 22, 2005 Members Share Posted July 22, 2005 How can you tell when a singer's at your door? He can't find the key. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members corso Posted July 22, 2005 Members Share Posted July 22, 2005 How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? 10, 1 to change the bulb, and the rest to tell you how Neil Peart would do it. Howbout singers? Just one....he holds the bulb while the world revolves around him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members quesoreuso Posted July 22, 2005 Members Share Posted July 22, 2005 Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? A: You only have to punch the information into the drum machine once. I notice this has become a drummer joke thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vamp hunter d Posted July 22, 2005 Members Share Posted July 22, 2005 Originally posted by SASQUATCH What do you call a musician without a girlfriend? Homeless. being a musician and not having a girlfriend, I resent that! I mean, sure I live with my parents and dont have my own car...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GuitArtMan Posted July 23, 2005 Members Share Posted July 23, 2005 Johnny: "Mommy, when I grow up I want to be a drummer."Mommy: "But Johnny, you can't do both." Why do bagpipers walk when they play?To get away from the sound. What's the difference between a chainsaw and a banjo?The chainsaw has dynamics. What's the difference between a chainsaw and a hammered dulcimer?You can tune a chainsaw. How long does it take to tune a hammered dulcimer?Nobody knows. What do coffee and Ginger Baker have in common?They both suck without cream! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Weatherbox Posted July 23, 2005 Members Share Posted July 23, 2005 I like the one in Sonaboy's sig... "how many guitarists does it take to cover an SRV tune? apparently, all of them." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members riffdaddy Posted July 23, 2005 Members Share Posted July 23, 2005 This one is person-specific. My bass player is in his late forties. His name is an anagram for "elderly bag". Not really a joke--it just strikes me as funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members StratStevo Posted July 23, 2005 Members Share Posted July 23, 2005 Q: What does a band consist of?A: Two or more musicians and a drummer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lone Flanger Posted July 23, 2005 Members Share Posted July 23, 2005 From Year of the Horse: What's the difference between a drummer and a pig? A pig won't stay up all night to {censored} the drummer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mesabooger Posted July 23, 2005 Members Share Posted July 23, 2005 Is it just me, or has anyone else never found these type jokes funny? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Daneswede1 Posted July 23, 2005 Members Share Posted July 23, 2005 Originally posted by D. being a musician and not having a girlfriend, I resent that! I mean, sure I live with my parents and dont have my own car...... YEs, But you are 46 years old!Its time to move out now! shiieea:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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