Members Silverburst LP Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 I saw a goose commit suicide last night... no shit. So my buddy comes over and we're baking it up, watching Big Lebowski, jamming, chillin' and stuff. Well about 12:45 AM rolls around, and there's a good snowstorm going on. He says we should take a stoner walk in the snow. OK... We wander all over the town, looking at old buildings, enjoying the classic architecture, the peace of the steady snowstorm. I tell him there is a quarry near one of the cement plants, but that it's hardcore no trespassing. We say screw and go into this place anyway, and we veer off the road into the plant and wander toward the bushes where a the quarry rim is, we notice some duck footprints going right where we are. So we climb over this embankment to this weird secret ledge thing. as I round the corner, I am spooked to find a goose taking a shit in the snow. He is just as startled, and flutters away a bit toward the ledge (a 2' high little solid barricade is all that separates one from a 200' drop down into a rather large man-made canyon). The goose backs away quacking and half flapping his wings. My buddy comes around the corner and we're just laughing at this goose, who is TOTALLY over-reacting. He starts poking his neack over the ledge and looking down, quacking away. Finally he calms down a little and hops up on the corner of this ledge to a flat spot. We ignore him and start gazing at the quarry in the snowstorm. Cool icicle falls, and little streams and whatnot in the snow was very cool and somehow invitingly creepy. Well, this asshole goose can't stop acting like we're peeing in his cheerios, and starts making noise again, this time looking down with no ledge between he and his fall. I tell my buddy, "I think he's thinking about jumping, man!":poke: My friend says, "Nah, he's alright.":facepalm: I'm like, "No, look at him!" And the Goose is edging closer, peering down below, perhaps telling himself e can make it, or it's not that far. He skooches toward the edge, maybe wanting to fly... who knows. Pretty soon he just takes the fucking plunge!!! Me and my bud start immediately cracking up. We run to the ledge just in time to hear his hollow thud as he smacks the rock ground. But then he went all melodrama and rolled down this little hill, collecting snow as he goes, like a cartoon character as the snow boulder grows and carries them down a mountain. He finally rolls to the bottom, where he hits a frozen stream and just slides across until he skids to a stop. This was too much, me and Josh were in stitches for the next three hours... That was one "dead goose" *boo! hiss* WTF?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jisatsu Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 what the.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members joeyowen Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 lmao, that sounds amazing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jamboree Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sad Darwin Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 That's hot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RoboPimp Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 sounds more like you scared him off the cliff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members goaway Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 best story ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members distance21 Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 You had to have been high. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mr benn Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 Suicide Goose would be a pretty awesome name for a band... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mr. Sarum Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 Alright whose going to say it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 80k Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 That is just about the most awesome thing to witness while baked. I am a little jealous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gambit Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 wow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wilsoneffectsll Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 So my buddy comes over and we're baking it up, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members big_cat Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 Alright whose going to say it? CSB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gambit Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 it's beyond CSB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PKTrono Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 this goose, who is TOTALLY over-reacting done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Silverburst LP Posted February 6, 2010 Author Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 Well, granted, he was a bird, and "over reacting" was my sarcastic spin on it, but honestly, we left him alone, other than some giggling amongst ourselves. We were just checking out the canyon. Stoned or not, it was still so out of left field that it was oddly funny. I thought animals are all about instinct and survival, not manic depression. This fella was looking over the edge like a Stock Broker about leap from a high rise. Then he just... jumped... Weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TravvyBear Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members soupdragon Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 Well, this asshole goose can't stop acting like we're peeing in his cheerios THIS IS THE BEST THREAD EVARR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Silverburst LP Posted February 6, 2010 Author Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 inevitable cool story bro pic. Not very inventive, but I guess someone had to do it. And mr benn: we were both also saying Suicide Goose would be a cool band name or at least an album title. Good times. Well, not for the goose, but... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TravvyBear Posted February 6, 2010 Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 Not very inventive, but I guess someone had to do it. And mr benn: we were both also saying Suicide Goose would be a cool band name or at least an album title. Good times. Well, not for the goose, but... I just got my hands on a new CSB pic, so, you know.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Silverburst LP Posted February 6, 2010 Author Members Share Posted February 6, 2010 I just got my hands on a new CSB pic, so, you know.... respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ode2no1 Posted February 7, 2010 Members Share Posted February 7, 2010 when i was in 10th or 11th grade i got to school late one day and got sent to "tardy sweep" (ridiculous punishment for getting to school late. no no...let's not let them go to class and learn something even though they're late...let's make them sit in the cafeteria in silence until the end of the period). so i'm sitting there with my back to the front entrance where the entire wall is made up of Plexiglas windows when this pigeon flies in full speed...makes its way all the way to the back of the cafeteria and then hauls ass back in the other direction and BAM! smacks into the windows and dies instantly. it was amazing...in a strange sort of sad way...but seriously. this was like 3 or 4 seconds. it was nuts. anyway...yeah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members EL KABONG Posted February 7, 2010 Members Share Posted February 7, 2010 Death Goose! You scared a goose to death how would you feel if someone walked in on you taking a {censored} in the snow? You'd prolly kill yourself too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AnderMocs Posted February 7, 2010 Members Share Posted February 7, 2010 Death Goose! You scared a goose to death how would you feel if someone walked in on you taking a {censored} in the snow? You'd prolly kill yourself too! I'd throw feces at them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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