Fine: feedback appreciated

[Eclepto Funk]

been trying to work on my pitchiness (vocal wise) and trying not to make too many mistakes on guitar

 

any feedback on making this song better would be greatly appreciated

 

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=720152&songID=6536896

[DeveryHarper]

Hey Mr. Eclepto.

 

I really liked the feel of this song. There is definitely nothing wrong with your vocals, I can really get into them at times. I found that in this song, things were really tight up until :56 of the song, and then it got lost for a second or two, then gets back on track.

I really wouldn't have much to say to make it "better" per se, but if I was recording it for you I might have made you record a few parts over--but that's just cause I'm really anal.

The structure of the song is spot on, there are just a few shaky parts. Hard for me to judge being a MIDI man myself, but I can pick the shaky areas out, though. I'd say it's pretty damn good!

[eddieboston2]

I like the song a lot. Great feel to the lyrics. I like the way the chorus mentions a different author/singer each time.

I also like your voice. I'm probably not a good one to judge pitchiness, but it sounds right to me.

[WrdsNmuzik]

Pros: Overall this is a good'un. I agree that it's generally well-performed, and thoughtful. really love the "whatever greatness" line. Good moody vibe, too.

 

Cons: I think the timing of the first chorus isn't as tight as the second . . almost wish they were switched. and I wish the chorus line was just a little more melodically interesting....the resolution of "he's got the odds going his way" tucks in like other lines in the song, so it doesn't really stand out.

 

hope this is helpful.

[BrianKeesy]

Sounds beautiful. It felt like there was a little "glitch" around the :53 mark but other than that it was wonderful. What was that "click" noise?

[rsadasiv]

Sounds really good. Might mute the click track, but everything else sounds nice. Love the name checks (Daniel Johnston, Amy Winehouse, PKD), and the Lord/Casino simile is very clever.

 

Like it a lot. Good job.

[eeglug]

Very nice. In terms of pitchiness, there are moments here and there but I feel they are part of the style you inhabit. There were also spots where the vocal weakened a bit...but again not enough to be a deal breaker. It's a terrific song.

[Eclepto Funk]

hey guys, thank you for the great feedback

 

and thank you for the very kind words

[draelyc]

Personally, I think the vocals are just right for the song, the lyrics, the vibe & most importantly the *feel* a song like this requires. A plaintive cry, is how the vox come across, which does it for me in a song like this.

 

I like the hypnotic picking pattern on the guitar, too.

 

As someone suggested above, I'd lose the click track ~ I don't think it adds anything, and at times it perhaps distracts a bit from the interaction between guitar & vocal.

 

Great feel, overall!

[Eclepto Funk]

hmmm... ok, well the "click" track seems to be calling attention to itself

 

i think i'll lower it some and see how that works

[Eclepto Funk]

well, i lowered the click track a little (but just a little, because i like it)

 

but then i upped the high end of the mix ... so ... i'm not sure i gained anything

 

anyway, here's a video i just did for it. hope you enjoy:

 

http://youtube.com/watch?v=bzkJkwnD06k

[happycannibal]

Loving the atmosphere of the tune, dude. Very eerie and pensive to me. I love the minimal and acoustic ensemble juxtaposed with the pad-ish bass in the background (what exactly is that anyways?). I like the clicky percussion and the littlebit of analog distortion over the whole mix.

 

I think the human performance (with the minor errors) give a nice quality to the song and are right in line with what the song is supposed to be. Also the sloppy and muttered lyrical phrasing give a nice quality as well.

 

Overall- I like it. The song seemed like it knew what it was and was not and had a direction. What did you record it on?

 

Blake.

[nathanael hale]

nicely done.well crafted.Kinda like bob dylan meets kansas.I like the approach to your writing.It's a bit outside the box but follolws a traditional structure as well

[Eclepto Funk]

thanks guys ... this song almost wrote itself, and i decided to keep it simple

 

 

 

What did you record it on?

 

 

 

my pc, with an M-Audio Audiophile 192 sound card. the card is hooked up to a Radio Shack 3-channel mixer into which i run a Yamaha YPT-200 (cheap!) keyboard. for vocals and instruments, i use a Shure SM58 or an SM57 plugged into the mixer.

 

i then record with N-Track Studio (version 5.something) and "master" (such as that is) with Audacity.

 

there are four tracks on this song:

 

1. guitar (a cheap Yamaha FD01 i got at an antique store), recorded with the SM57

2. voice (mine), recorded with the SM58

3. the "click" track (one of the effects on the Yamaha brush drum kit)

4. a bass track (the fretless bass effect on the Yamaha)

[happycannibal]

 

my pc, with an M-Audio Audiophile 192 sound card. the card is hooked up to a Radio Shack 3-channel mixer into which i run a Yamaha YPT-200 (cheap!) keyboard. for vocals and instruments, i use a Shure SM58 or an SM57 plugged into the mixer. i then record with N-Track Studio (version 5.something) and "master" (such as that is) with Audacity. there are four tracks on this song: 1. guitar (a cheap Yamaha FD01 i got at an antique store), recorded with the SM57 2. voice (mine), recorded with the SM58 3. the "click" track (one of the effects on the Yamaha brush drum kit) 4. a bass track (the fretless bass effect on the Yamaha)

 

 

I think that rough dynamic mic feel works well for the song. Where is that little noise coming from? It kind of sounds like cassette hum.

[Eclepto Funk]

 

Where is that little noise coming from? It kind of sounds like cassette hum.

 

 

 

not sure ... it's not analog though

 

oh and i forgot a fifth track, the high hat (also a Yamaha effect)

[Tbone Deluxe]

I kinda like the click track . I got a strange idea ,maybe you could recorded the temp of the click with like a foot tap on a hardwood floor with a little salt on the floor . Might be a cool effect with the shoe sliding over it between taps.

 

I like this one.

T Bone

[griffstar]

Excellent song. I agree with the Dylan comparison in the sense that any "pitchiness" of the vocals add to the song rather than detract. There's loads of character here. Well done, sir.

[ido1957]

Just checked out the date on this thread - bringing it back to life was a good idea. Good song, story, performance. Ditch the click track...

[OAFCORE]

wicked sweet man. I would have to agree with the others about the rhythm samples there though...I would either like to hear more or nothing. maybe add a little more to the click so it's not just that rim shot sound and a few faint ride cymbals...if you came to me and asked me to drum that song I would probably do some beat where I'm "stirring the pot".....just a thought

 

I guess you need to decide how big you wanna make this thing. I could hear that chorus being done totally HUGE. I definitely hear some female back up vocals. You could start the song as you did and then slowly start incorporating more elements until it's this massive ensemble by the end.

 

I have a tendency to want to make things a lot bigger than they should be so you might not agree, but it sounds great the way it is and with a little refining it could be even better!

[Bodyguard2112]

You sir, have a talent.

 

I love this piece. Great atmosphere, lyrics, wonderful.

 

I also have been inspired by Mr. R. Johnson from time to time, during some dark periods. I still have those songs. But... yours is better!

[Eclepto Funk]

hey guys, thank you for the kind words and the feedback

 

this song basically wrote itself ... it's one of my favorites

[Elias Graves]

I like. Consider me a fan.

[blue2blue]

 

been trying to work on my pitchiness (vocal wise) and trying not to make too many mistakes on guitar any feedback on making this song better would be greatly appreciated http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=720152&songID=6536896

 

 

 

I rather like the song, itself. I like the parallel construction around the three outsider/troubled artist types. I wasn't quite sure what to make of the policewoman... fine for busking? Public drunkenness? Both? But after the third time, it really didn't seem to matter why... I guess it's the same magic threshold as playing a 'wrong' note in jazz... after the third time, it starts making sense.

 

The singing seems controlled, maybe a little over-corrected at times (or maybe that's just what I expect, so find) but it shows a grasp of some technique you haven't used much before, a little less quirky, although it's still safely on the edgy side of mainstream. It's always good to have more flexibility and command, but I'd hate to see you completely lose your old distinctive sound.