We need another bad joke thread

[thinkpad20]

When they got back to the US, Jack got the old RV out of storage where he

and Sammy had left it after their tour of the fifty states, he loaded up

Sammy and the sword, and they headed for the desert.

 

When they got to the small town that Jack had been trying to find those

years ago when he'd met Nate, Jack was in a funk. He didn't really feel like

walking all of the way out there. Not only that, but he'd forgotten to

figure the travel time correctly, and it was late afternoon. They'd either

have to spend the night in town and walk out tomorrow, or walk in the dark.

 

As Jack was afraid that if he waited one more night he might lose his

resolve, he decided that he'd go ahead and drive the RV out there. It was

only going to be this once, and Jack would go back and cover the tracks

afterward. They ought to be able to make it out there by nightfall if they

drove, and then they could get it over tonight.

 

Jack told Sammy to e-mail Nate that they were coming as he drove out of

sight of the town on the road. They then pulled off the road and headed out

into the desert.

 

Everything went well, until they got to the sand dunes. Jack had been

nursing the RV along the whole time, over the rocks, through the creek beds,

revving the engine the few times they almost got stuck. When they came to

the dunes, Jack didn't really think about it, he just downshifted and headed

up the first one. By the third dune, Jack started to regret that he'd

decided to try driving on the sand. The RV was fishtailling and losing

traction. Jack was having to work it up each dune slowly and was trying to

keep from losing control each time they came over the top and slid down the

other side. Sammy had come up to sit in the passenger seat, coiled up and

laughing at Jack's driving.

 

As they came over the top of the fourth dune, the biggest one yet, Jack saw

that this was the final dune - the stone, the lever, and somewhere Nate,

waited below. Jack put on the brakes, but he'd gone a little too far. The RV

started slipping down the other side.

 

Jack tried turning the wheel, but he didn't have enough traction. He pumped

the brakes - no response. They started sliding down the hill, faster and

faster.

 

Jack felt a shock go through him as he suddenly realized that they were

heading for the lever. He looked down - the RV was directly on course for

it. If Jack didn't do something, the RV would hit it. He was about to end

humanity.

 

Jack steered more frantically, trying to get traction. It still wasn't

working. The dune was too steep, and the sand too loose. In a split second,

Jack realized that his only chance would be once he hit the stone around the

lever - he should have traction on the stone for just a second before he hit

the lever - he wouldn't have time to stop, but he should be able to steer

away.

 

Jack took a better grip on the steering wheel and tried to turn the RV a

little bit - every little bit would help. He'd have to time his turn just

right.

 

The RV got to the bottom of the dune, sliding at an amazing speed in the

sand. Just before they reached the stone Jack looked across it to check that

they were still heading for the lever. They were. But Jack noticed something

else that he hadn't seen from the top of the dune. Nate wasn't wrapped

around the lever. He was off to the side of the lever, but still on the

stone, waiting for them. The problem was, he was waiting on the same side of

the lever that Jack had picked to steer towards to avoid the lever. The RV

was already starting to drift that way a little in its mad rush across the

sand and there was no way that Jack was going to be able to go around the

lever to the other side.

 

Jack had an instant of realization. He was either going to have to hit the

lever, or run over Nate. He glanced over at Sammy and saw that Sammy

realized the same thing.

 

Jack took a firmer grip on the steering wheel as the RV ran up on the stone.

Shouting to Sammy as he pulled the steering wheel, "BETTER NATE THAN LEVER," he ran over the snake.

[thinkpad20]

[Say Ocean]

I {censored}ing hate you.

[TU BE]

14 year old boy comes home from school and tells his dad "today, I had sex with my Math teacher!!!"

Dad: "That's great son! You're officially a man now. So...you gonna do it again tomorrow?"
















Son: "Nah, I need to give my ass a few days to heal."

[Say Ocean]

 

 

AAAHAHAHA

[thinkpad20]

I {censored}ing hate you.

Did you read the wh:ole thing?

I actually thought it was quite an interesting story when I first read it. Well, the ending leaves a bit to be desired though

[Say Ocean]

Did you read the wh:ole thing? I actually thought it was quite an interesting story when I first read it. Well, the ending leaves a bit to be desired though

I read most of it, skimmed some, once I start reading something I can't leave it unfinished. It was an interesting story the ending seriously made me laugh for a few minutes straight. {censored} it's cracking me up right now

[Talic]

Here's a joke... Sarah Palin!


on another note my favorite bad joke:


What would you rather be or a duck?






























No...I didn't mis-type...

[Scarlet_Worm]

I just spent 40 minutes reading that you {censored}er:mad:
















































good job:thu:

[int.parascope]

That story was pretty good minus the last line.

[The Anomaly]

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

 

 

That made me laugh, hard.

 

Why do blondes like tilt steering?

 

 

 

 

 

More headroom

[The Anomaly]

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre. So the landlord gives her one. James

 

 

Man, I'm trying, but I just don't get this one. It's early tho.

[-todgemistro-]

"Give her one" can also mean shag

[TomTFS]

I'd like to double her entendre!

[rawk100]

Patient: doctor doctor, I've got a cars steering wheel stuck down the front of my pants!!.....

Doctor: does it hurt?.........




















































Patient: no, but its driving me nuts!...........

[Gnt1856]

Patient: doctor doctor, I've got a cars steering wheel stuck down the front of my pants!!..... Doctor: does it hurt?......... Patient: no, but its driving me nuts!...........

That's nearly as pathetic and stupid as your location.

[rawk100]

That's nearly as pathetic and stupid as your location.

But nowhere nearly as pathetic and stupid as YOUR location you donut!....

[Gnt1856]

But nowhere nearly as pathetic and stupid as YOUR location you donut!....

But really, bewbsville?

Least mine has snax.

[-todgemistro-]

[rawk100]

But really, bewbsville? Least mine has snax.

I agree snax are important but, given the choice, I'd go for bewbs anyday..........

[pa1mer_eldritch]

Two bee-keepers having a chat...

"How many bees have you got?"
"Ten thousand."
"How many hives?"
"Twenty-five. How many bees have you got?"
"A million."
"A million??! How many hives?"
"One."
"A million bees??!! In only one hive???!!"
"Yeah, {censored} 'em. They're only bees."

[jaytee123]

Whats the difference between jam and jelly?

I cant jelly my cock down your throat now can I?




I walked past the police station today there was a sign in the window saying man wanted for rape so i went in and asked for an application.

[mrelusive]

more a riddle than a joke, but it's definitely in the realm of "bad."



You are in a room with no windows or doors. The walls are indestructible. All you have is a table and a mirror, how do you get out?

answer coming soon.

[thinkpad20]

Two bee-keepers having a chat... "How many bees have you got?" "Ten thousand." "How many hives?" "Twenty-five. How many bees have you got?" "A million." "A million??! How many hives?" "One." "A million bees??!! In only one hive???!!" "Yeah, {censored} 'em. They're only bees."

 

 

wat

[thinkpad20]

You are in a room with no windows or doors. The walls are indestructible. All you have is a table and a mirror, how do you get out? answer coming soon.

In b4 horrible punch line (I know this one )