Members Matximus Posted December 16, 2009 Members Share Posted December 16, 2009 Drinking song. I came up with this this morning, although I've been thinking about the main lyric "Drunk all the time..." for a while, because, well, I really do wish that, sadly. This is a first draft. Ten minutes old. I haven't come up with any chords yet. I envision it as a three or four-chord sing-songsy Irish pub tune. Let me know if you like any the stanzas more than the others. Or have any better ideas. I'm probably only going to use Four stanzas and two refrains in in final version. So it'll be short. 2 minutes at the most. So I have to whittle it down to the strongest ones. I wish I were drunk all the time I wish I were drunk all the timeWhiskey at lunchAt breakfast some wineI wish I were drunk all the time I wish I were drunk all the timeI wish I were drunk all the timeWaking up toastedAnd passing out blind (drunk)I wish I were drunk all the time I don Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MDR Posted December 17, 2009 Members Share Posted December 17, 2009 I like the first stanza (lunch/breakfast). As you say, some stanzas are better than others. My favourites are hired/resign and sunlight/moonshine. The refrains are the key parts to the song. Spend more time honing them. It'll be a fun pub-tune. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Matximus Posted December 17, 2009 Author Members Share Posted December 17, 2009 Thanks for the replies. Wisconsin to Ireland... That's pretty good. I'll try and work those places in... I wonder what are some states, nations or other places that rhyme with "INE"... Breakfast... Moonshine and Resign. Yeah. They do look better than some of the others... Like I said it's gonna be two stanzas of Wishin I was drunk, one of the bridge stanzas, and maybe two more wish I was drunks.. .. ... I didn't have time to do chords last night. Maybe tonight. We'll see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stackabones Posted December 17, 2009 Members Share Posted December 17, 2009 Here are the verses I'd select. I wish I were drunk all the timeI wish I were drunk all the timeToss me a bottleScrew that lifelineI wish I were drunk all the time I wish I were drunk all the timeI wish I were drunk all the timeFrom the day I am hiredUntil I resignI wish I were drunk all the time I wish I were drunk all the timeI wish I were drunk all the timeOut at the moviesIn the grocery line I wish I were drunk all the time I wish I were drunk all the timeI wish I were drunk all the timeDoing good deedsWhen doing crimeI wish I were drunk all the time I wish I were drunk all the timeI wish I were drunk all the timeI don Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members easilyspooked Posted December 17, 2009 Members Share Posted December 17, 2009 You will alienate most of your audience by boasting that you have no problems and drink for the taste of it. i'm not sure i agree with that, i read the line ironically and i thought of it as sung with a smile, because we've all said that same thing and we were all liars. but the point about mentioning the bar is spot on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Matximus Posted December 17, 2009 Author Members Share Posted December 17, 2009 Nobody likes the B Stanzas!!! I was also fiddling around with doing something with the rhymes of "Be With her" and "My Liver" ... as In if I can't be with her... I'll SOMETHING SOMETHING My liver... I'm not sure. So make it about being drunk because of some broad... ...I'll go back to the drawing board on that. But I like the votes so far for the main stanzas. So I'll keep "resign" and "moonshine." I can't get with Grocery line or good deeds. I think I'm going to start with the "breakfast" one. I agree it's obvious. But I think it's good to start a song on an obvious note, as it spells out for the listener exactly waht this is all about. It's easy to grasp. So that's three: Resign; Moonshine; Breakfast. The last one is going to come down to between "lifeline" and wasted out of my mind. I think lifeline is more original. But people eat that {censored} up when you talk about getting wasted.. I'll try em both out.. We'll see. Anyway - thanks for all the feedback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Matximus Posted December 17, 2009 Author Members Share Posted December 17, 2009 i'm not sure i agree with that, i read the line ironically and i thought of it as sung with a smile, because we've all said that same thing and we were all liars. but the point about mentioning the bar is spot on! And yeah - I mean that to be ironic. The singer clearly has demons and many many many problems if he wants to be drunk all the time. He's full of {censored}, you know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MDR Posted December 17, 2009 Members Share Posted December 17, 2009 "If I can't be with herI'll pickle my liver" "From Londonderrydown to Tipperary" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stackabones Posted December 17, 2009 Members Share Posted December 17, 2009 But people eat that {censored} up when you talk about getting wasted. Yeah, those are the folks who yell FREEBIRD. And then there are the folks who dig drinking songs a la Tom Waits. Which one would you rather hear? One approach is marketing, the other is songwriting. Are you sure you even need a B section? You haven't written the music yet, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Matximus Posted December 17, 2009 Author Members Share Posted December 17, 2009 Yeah, those are the folks who yell FREEBIRD. And then there are the folks who dig drinking songs a la Tom Waits. Which one would you rather hear? One approach is marketing, the other is songwriting. Are you sure you even need a B section? You haven't written the music yet, right? Oh yeah - no doubt. Great point on Freebird. But I certainly tend to favor Marketing approach. I'm not above pandering to the Freebirders. I'm certailny no Tom Waits. I fancy myself closer to an Ad Man than an ARTISTE when it comes to making songs. I'm not embarrassed about it. On the B section - no I haven' written the song yet. But I actually have it all planned out in my head without touching the guitar. I'm thinking a classic progression based around I-IV-V-I. I'll vary it up for the B section, going up or down a key. Not sure yet. The reason I want to have the B section though Is I want the song to go somewhere, to have a little more to say. I'm also worried that the "Wish I Were Drunk" repeats could become a cloying drill if I don't break it up a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Stackabones Posted December 17, 2009 Members Share Posted December 17, 2009 Oh yeah - no doubt. Great point on Freebird. But I certainly tend to favor Marketing approach. I'm not above pandering to the Freebirders. I'm certailny no Tom Waits. I fancy myself closer to an Ad Man than an ARTISTE when it comes to making songs. I'm not embarrassed about it. So ... how are sales? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ferdinandstrat Posted December 17, 2009 Members Share Posted December 17, 2009 Oh my god that is brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Matximus Posted December 17, 2009 Author Members Share Posted December 17, 2009 So ... how are sales? Right?? Well. You know the answer to that.... But I have been gigging more, which is what It's all about for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Matximus Posted December 17, 2009 Author Members Share Posted December 17, 2009 Maybe it would be better if the singer had the self awareness to say he's full of {censored} instead of saying he drinks for the taste of it.It's easier to identify with someone who calls bull {censored} on them self than someone who is making ironic excuses.That verse just feels a little like back peddling to me.If you're going to be ironic there I would be more over the top like saying how you don't have a care in the world and life is jolly and the singer should be oblivious to the demons.Let the listener lie to themselves.Let the listener either really believe the song or like the song on a tongue in cheek level.Don't do it for them.It's like if you write a song like Santa Claus Is Coming To Town you don't want to throw in a verse about how you believe in Santa even though you hear he's not real.I don't think you want to put that element of doubt in the song.It breaks the illusion.It's just goes against the grain if that makes any sense.Make it easy to sing.Imbibing is not a good "song" word.I want to enjoy singing this song in a pub someday! Alright... the B verses clearly need work. I'll think about what you said and I'll keep workshopping em. And I was actually really proud of the "Imbibin" "hiding" rhyme scheme. I'm afraid I love it too much to let it go... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members samtrips Posted December 17, 2009 Members Share Posted December 17, 2009 Alright... the B verses clearly need work. I'll think about what you said and I'll keep workshopping em. And I was actually really proud of the "Imbibin" "hiding" rhyme scheme. I'm afraid I love it too much to let it go... Always throw away your favourite lines. Also, I think you could get away with a bit of irony in there, but it needs to be real subtle I think, don't let it be overtly obvious that the narrator knows he is too {censored}ed up, but it should be possible to reveal that he isn't really doing the best by himself. Great idea though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Matximus Posted December 17, 2009 Author Members Share Posted December 17, 2009 alrighty... here is the close to finished draft... And I did this all in my head. The first time I've ever done that, actually. I haven't even sat down with the guitar yet. But I have the melody in my head and these chords should line up. This is a pretty standard progression, you've seen it a thousand times. Also, an A chord or Em might work in the B verse, just change the energy a bit. I'm not sure until I try it. Sing-songsy and mid-tempo Irish pub song. The energy I'm thinking of is a cross between Afro-Man's "Because I got High" and "Sad Songs and Waltz's" by Willie Nelson. GI wish I were drunk all the timeCI wish I were drunk all the timeG Whiskey for DinnerDFor breakfast some wineG C G I wish I were drunk all the time I wish I were drunk all the timeI wish I were drunk all the timeFrom the day I am hiredUntil I resign I wish I were drunk all the time C I don Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted December 17, 2009 Members Share Posted December 17, 2009 Too much thinkin' spoils your drinkin'... I say take it the way it came and, when you throw it up against the music, keep whatever sticks. I'll admit, I almost stopped in my tracks at the wine for breakfast (dude, it's a shot of Sauza Extra Tequila and a Cerveza Negra Modelo for breakfast... it's the only civilized thing unless you're on your honeymoon, in which case it's champagne with strawberries floating in it)... I'm speaking form memory, of course. (Well, not the honeymoon thing, at all, maybe. Or, at least, not literally a honeymoon. Per se. Like a honeymoon. Only... you know... without the commitment issues.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Matximus Posted December 20, 2009 Author Members Share Posted December 20, 2009 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HH1QhRhJ7JI Wrote chords yesterday morning finally. Still need work on B verses, either with the words or melody or something. Something is flat and off. Be mindful that I just wrote the melody and chords like a half-hour earlier.... GI wish I were DrunkCAll the TimeG D I wish I were drunk all the TimeC EmFrom the Day I am hired Until I resignC D GI wish I were Drunk all the Time .....Cash My Life savings and Drink Every DimeI wish I were drunk all the time EmI don't have demonsCOr Dark ReasonsG DFor Always Getting FacedCI Ain't imbibingEmCause Problems I'm hidingD D7I Simply like the Taste ....I Don't need sunlight I have my moonshineI wish I were drunk all the time Toss me a bottle And screw that lifelineI wish I were drunk all the time I can't rememberWhat started this benderI also don't know whenI first got pissedBut I know thisI don't want it to end Even when I am wasted out my mindI wish I were drunk all the time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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