Members Eclepto Funk Posted January 20, 2010 Members Share Posted January 20, 2010 help needed, as usual this is what i would consider a "finished" mix. there's a couple of flubs in the vocals, but i can live with them. do you consider this finished? is the guitar in tune? how is the timing? does the mix work for you? anything else that occurs to you? thanks in advance http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=720152&songID=8628992 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted January 20, 2010 Members Share Posted January 20, 2010 I've been trying to make time to give this intriguingly titled song a good listen for a while now... Hmm... It's not the eschatological worry-fest I had assumed. That's for sure. The onerous tasks tumble across each other and while most of them make laugh while also making me properly uncomfortable, they seem, by and large, to be pretty criticism proof... ... except... Bleep and lip. We're expecting a rhyme, you've set us up through the whole song to expect that rhyme... and I waited, having scanned ahead to see if you'd try to mash the pronunciations toward each other somehow... that didn't happen but it leaves a big hole in the rhyme scheme... part of my brain is still going: leap, creep, sheep, peep, deep, sweep, beep, steep, keep, heap, jeep, reap, sleep, weep, zeep... (Zeep? Well, you can see what mucking with the rhyme does to my brain...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted January 20, 2010 Members Share Posted January 20, 2010 Sounds good. I might not have noticed it if Blue2Blue hadn't mentioned it, but the bleep/lip non-rhyme didn't work for me either - you went a long way to get the Alabama/Obama rhyme, but the lip rhyme didn't work. The short i in dick would work a lot better with lip in any case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stickboymusic Posted January 20, 2010 Members Share Posted January 20, 2010 id chew on asbestos pull a train with my belieffind an LA cop and give him some grief yes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted January 20, 2010 Members Share Posted January 20, 2010 How about giving him some relief... That sounds like an onerous duty, for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chicken Monkey Posted January 20, 2010 Members Share Posted January 20, 2010 There are so many knockout lines in there that the limp ones really stand out. I'd get a little surgical and keep the gold. I'd also work on the enunciation--I'd really like to hear what all of these offers are, but I can only pick out one of every couple. The "feel" of the track is fantastic--very Freewheelin'. Good mix, good playing, and good arrangement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Eclepto Funk Posted January 21, 2010 Author Members Share Posted January 21, 2010 alright, the bleep/lip line is abominable and excretable, and i could enunciate better (good luck ... English is my second language) thanks CM for the comments on the mix ... everything else i mentioned sound good? tune, time, basic stuff like that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members speierg Posted January 21, 2010 Members Share Posted January 21, 2010 EF, I think is my favorite song that I've heard from you. You've got some really great lines in there. Fix up the one or two that others have mentioned and this is a real Dylanesque gem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members meandthecity Posted January 21, 2010 Members Share Posted January 21, 2010 I like this song but there is one line that real strikes me wrong "pop your zits" the thought of it makes me sick a little but i got a weak stomach for stuff like that. But I love the rest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chicken Monkey Posted January 21, 2010 Members Share Posted January 21, 2010 everything else i mentioned sound good? tune, time, basic stuff like that? "Good" is relative, but it all sounded right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted January 21, 2010 Members Share Posted January 21, 2010 everything else i mentioned sound good? tune, time, basic stuff like that? Yes, all that stuff is fine - there is nothing getting in the way of the song, and the song itself is a strong, Dylanesque flurry of socially relevant and appropos images with a powerful metrical rhythm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members eeglug Posted January 21, 2010 Members Share Posted January 21, 2010 There are a few moments where I might alter the phrasing a little...nothing that I could explain in a post here. It's the kind of thing where we need to be in the same room while I pretend to produce you. But it's minor stuff - you pretty much nailed it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members davilazita Posted January 21, 2010 Members Share Posted January 21, 2010 When I was listening I thought very Dylan and I read that speierg said the same after! Kudos for that, even have the harmonica! Really love the lyrics to this track. The percussions nice aswell. I think the guitar could sound a bit sweeter with EQing, but its a pretty decent mix. Nice Job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted January 21, 2010 Moderators Share Posted January 21, 2010 I like this. You have a very old school, free form sense of rhythm. It's the kind of thing you either work to fit in the box or you leave it and let it shine. I say let it shine as you have done here. It's like Dylan, if Dylan were a Muddy Waters fan instead of a Woody Guthrie fan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Eclepto Funk Posted January 22, 2010 Author Members Share Posted January 22, 2010 thanks guys ... trying to get my songs as good as i can get them as always, invaluable help here. thank you. I think the guitar could sound a bit sweeter with EQing can you make a few suggestions, or is it more like you have to play around with it yourself to see what needs to be done? it would be a great help if you could make suggestions, though i know that's probably difficult Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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