Members LeonardScaper Posted May 17, 2011 Members Share Posted May 17, 2011 I don't mean to hog this most excellent stage, but this one jumped all over me and I need to deal with the lyrics. It seems that someone out in British Colombia wants to put a drum track on it and then send it over to a studio in London to run it through some fancy Neve desk. Go figure. I don't very often have two going at once, but my amazing muse has been, well.....amazing. Anyway, I did the music to this quickly on the wings of the chorus but when I hit the red button for a vocal track I had nothing written down. Everything in these verses was extemporaneous, which is ok for a scratch track, but.....I like it. Or a lot of it anyway. Need to make some quick decisions and get this one off to....wander all around the world...... Somebody needs to stop me from keeping this like it is, which is something like this..... Find That Girl I'm gonna wander all around this big wide world Until I find that girl Until I find her I'm gonna wander all around this big wide world Until I find That girl Repeat Maybe she's down in Houston town I'd like to find her there Maybe she's off in Istanbul....somewhere She might be out in China I'd like to find ya:facepalm: Chorus Instr She might be on her island still Hey I'd like to find her there She'll maybe be lookin' beautiful And so tan and lovely She may be down in Virginia Oh I'd like to find her there Chorus That's it. Really. Two lame verses and a hokey chorus. Somewhat....vacuous....at best. And yet I like it. Guess I'm easy. See? This is what happens if you don't practice the craft of songwriting. All you young songwriters out there....Get Serious! Listen to blue and Lee Knight. Read all of LCK's lyrics....or find yourselves wandering down the dark and lonely road that leads to, well.......Scaperville. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted May 17, 2011 Members Share Posted May 17, 2011 Awww, it ended so abruptly!! Or maybe my computer is being stupid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted May 17, 2011 Author Members Share Posted May 17, 2011 Fixed that link........thanks for the heads up, Grace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted May 17, 2011 Moderators Share Posted May 17, 2011 She might be out in China Or North Carolina Though I sort of dig "find ya" too. I think it's great. You could add a bridge that brings in a little traditional Lenny. I've never met her I never seen her But I know she's waiting to be found I can't forget her Her cool demeanor That's why I wander all around... I'm gonna wander all around this big wide world Until I find that girl Until I find her Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted May 17, 2011 Moderators Share Posted May 17, 2011 What if you created a melodic instrumental hook for the intro and tags. And outro too. Like that melody of the bolded bits below I'm gonna wander all around this big wide worldUntil I find that girlUntil I find her Then put them together so you have "Wander all around - until I find her". Just the melody from those lyrics joined together in one tight phrase. Then... if you were to play that melody as an intro on your harp. And double with lead. Just straight melody for this bit, to create a sort of brass section hook. It's bringing to mind Jackson Browne's homage's to the 50's. Stay, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted May 17, 2011 Author Members Share Posted May 17, 2011 Ooohhh, I like that instrumental hook idea........work that over a bit tonight. And if I can convince myself to retrack these vocals (yeah, I know......just do it!) that China/North Carolina solves that issue beautifully as I can't just keep using that same 'find her' thing at the end of each verse. Thanks, Lee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted May 17, 2011 Members Share Posted May 17, 2011 I like it. I like Lee's ideas. I don't have much else to add I'll get lost in Bostonwander round Austin? Maybe she's down in Houston townI'd like to find her thereMaybe off where Big Ben chimes, maybe in Times Square. I don't know. I don't have a strong enough sense of the rhythm to offer much. The reason I threw in Big Ben and Times Square is because it's possible (just possible, mind you) that if you stick with states and countries you run the risk of sounding derivative of "Kokomo" by the Beach Boys. I also think it's cool to mix the idea that she might somewhere in huge country like China, or within a seven-block radius of a landmark New York City neighborhood. You can play with these ideas. Maybe she's driving with the top down on a freeway in LA, maybe she lives just around the corner from your Uncle Ray? There are lots of possibilities. LCK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rhino55 Posted May 17, 2011 Members Share Posted May 17, 2011 cool groove... I'm a sucker for a simple song that starts with the chorus like this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted May 18, 2011 Members Share Posted May 18, 2011 I don't mean to hog this most excellent stage, but this one jumped all over me and I need to deal with the lyrics. It seems that someone out in British Colombia wants to put a drum track on it and then send it over to a studio in London to run it through some fancy Neve desk. Go figure. I don't very often have two going at once, but my amazing muse has been, well.....amazing. Anyway, I did the music to this quickly on the wings of the chorus but when I hit the red button for a vocal track I had nothing written down. Everything in these verses was extemporaneous, which is ok for a scratch track, but.....I like it. Or a lot of it anyway. Need to make some quick decisions and get this one off to....wander all around the world...... Somebody needs to stop me from keeping this like it is, which is something like this..... Find That Girl I'm gonna wander all around this big wide world Until I find that girl Until I find her I'm gonna wander all around this big wide world Until I find That girl Repeat Maybe she's down in Houston town I'd like to find her there Maybe she's off in Istanbul....somewhere She might be out in China I'd like to find ya:facepalm: Chorus Instr She might be on her island still Hey I'd like to find her there She'll maybe be lookin' beautiful And so tan and lovely She may be down in Virginia Oh I'd like to find her there Chorus That's it. Really. Two lame verses and a hokey chorus. Somewhat....vacuous....at best. And yet I like it. Guess I'm easy. See? This is what happens if you don't practice the craft of songwriting. All you young songwriters out there....Get Serious! Listen to blue and Lee Knight. Read all of LCK's lyrics....or find yourselves wandering down the dark and lonely road that leads to, well.......Scaperville. There's worse neighborhoods. You're right, there's not a lot of lyric meat there. It's light and clever in its casually oblique way -- I probably could have stood a couple more little town related chuckles... The music is pretty infectious, as your stuff so often is. A frothy parasol drink of a song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted May 18, 2011 Author Members Share Posted May 18, 2011 A frothy parasol drink of a song. My best review ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted May 18, 2011 Moderators Share Posted May 18, 2011 Waiter! There's a parasol in my alcoholDo I look like a lady to you?I'm sorry sir, the waiter stalledBut all our drinks are foo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members honeyiscool Posted May 18, 2011 Members Share Posted May 18, 2011 This is really fun. I think you should just read yourself the lyrics out loud until they flow off the tongue, you'll have it by then. Waiter! There's a parasol in my alcoholDo I look like a lady to you?I'm sorry sir, the waiter stalledBut all our drinks are fooI laughed out loud at this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted May 18, 2011 Author Members Share Posted May 18, 2011 I laughed out loud at this. Me too. Yes I have been working on just that. When the drum tracks come in (he is tracking even as we speak) I'll do another full vocal track with some changes and, hopefully a slightly better cadence and feel to the lyric. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted May 18, 2011 Moderators Share Posted May 18, 2011 Me too. Yes I have been working on just that. When the drum tracks come in (he is tracking even as we speak) I'll do another full vocal track with some changes and, hopefully a slightly better cadence and feel to the lyric. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted May 19, 2011 Members Share Posted May 19, 2011 I really like this now I've heard the whole thing! :) *lying back on couch and listening* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Viktoriah Posted May 19, 2011 Members Share Posted May 19, 2011 Hi Leonard,You have a very sexy voice. I was a bit surprised by the way you chose to play the guitar, though. I mean, the staccato thing. I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted May 20, 2011 Author Members Share Posted May 20, 2011 Thank you, Viktoriah........(blushing a little). And you too, dearest Grace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted May 20, 2011 Members Share Posted May 20, 2011 Hi Leonard,You have a very sexy voice. Heheh, I THOROUGHLY agree with this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted May 20, 2011 Members Share Posted May 20, 2011 Another good one Lenny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted May 20, 2011 Members Share Posted May 20, 2011 *still stroking* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted May 20, 2011 Author Members Share Posted May 20, 2011 Thanks, Ram. (blushing even more) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members grace_slick Posted May 20, 2011 Members Share Posted May 20, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeonardScaper Posted May 30, 2011 Author Members Share Posted May 30, 2011 Just popping back in on this thread to put up the finished version with drums. Thanks to all for the help with this one. Out for a nice walk now......see if I can...... Find That Girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BenDuncan Posted May 30, 2011 Members Share Posted May 30, 2011 for some reason in my head I hear at 38 seconds after the little break you keep going with the vocals instead of the guitar solo, like start the Houston part there, having the solo start after the China part then the solo then the wonder part again, I don't know if any good, this isn't my usual genre I like it though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members techforums123 Posted May 31, 2011 Members Share Posted May 31, 2011 Nice !!! looks like stopped ubruptly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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