Members dramey Posted June 9, 2011 Members Share Posted June 9, 2011 Alrighty then, I've been working on this one since about 2 days before my 44th birthday, my 46th is coming up in August and I'd like to have it done and recorded by then. You know, before I have to rename it to How To Have a Post Midlife Crisis. I've got a really rough demo of it down but need to give the vocals another go before I let anyone hear it. I think it needs a bridge, but nothing has come to me yet. This is totally different from the kind of stuff I normally write, but I'm having fun with it. Let me know what you think. Feel free to tell me how to make it better, or give me some bridge ideas. How To Have a Midlife Crisis... On A Budget Standing in the bathroom choking back tears. Combing over my bald spot, shaving my ears. Plucking out the gray hair to hide a few years. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Chorus I can Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue2blue Posted June 9, 2011 Members Share Posted June 9, 2011 I was 3/4 sold from the first Happy birthday to me... On paper, it looks like there might be a few rough spots, rhythm-wise (the shrink verse and maybe the boob verse), but maybe you've got some trick delivery up your sleeve that will make it all work out. We'll have to wait to hear it, I guess, on that count. It's a droll, fun little song, overall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rsadasiv Posted June 9, 2011 Members Share Posted June 9, 2011 I was 3/4 sold from the first Happy birthday to me... On paper, it looks like there might be a few rough spots, rhythm-wise (the shrink verse and maybe the boob verse), but maybe you've got some trick delivery up your sleeve that will make it all work out. We'll have to wait to hear it, I guess, on that count. It's a droll, fun little song, overall. +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted June 9, 2011 Members Share Posted June 9, 2011 The shaving the ears part really resonated with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dramey Posted June 9, 2011 Author Members Share Posted June 9, 2011 On paper, it looks like there might be a few rough spots, rhythm-wise (the shrink verse and maybe the boob verse), but maybe you've got some trick delivery up your sleeve that will make it all work out. We'll have to wait to hear it, I guess, on that count. It works when I sing it. At least I don't think it sounds like I am cramming too much in. I'll try and get a vocal I am not ashamed of on it tonight or tomorrow, if my sinus allergies will let me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dramey Posted June 12, 2011 Author Members Share Posted June 12, 2011 How To Have A Midlife Crisis... On A Budget This was an attempt at country. The problem is that I really don't listen to a lot of country, and it shows. It's still a bit southern fried, and I'd like to see what a good chicken pickin guitar player could do with it, but alas, I don't know any. I'm still a long way away from being done with this. There are still a couple rough spots in the vocal and guitar. I'm not 100% happy with the solo, but haven't as of yet come up with anything better. I also need a few fills (I suck at fills), and harmonies (I suck at harmonies), and maybe a bridge (yup, suck at those too), but that would mean starting from scratch with the recording so maybe not... In any case I was trying to break out of my depressing lyrical rut with this one... and well, its still a little depressing, in a fun sort of way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted June 12, 2011 Moderators Share Posted June 12, 2011 It's great. After listening to your rendition, it totally flys. Don't need no chicken pickin. I'd say with your rough rock rendition. It's perfect. Really. The mix could make it come alive... and that's not there yet, but your tune? Very cool. Your playing. Spot on. Your voice? Perfect. Lyrics? Loved them from the start. I'm diggin it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BumbleBb Posted July 15, 2012 Members Share Posted July 15, 2012 This is my favorite song I've heard on here, I just came back to find it again. I absolutely love this song. I think it should be on the radio. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dramey Posted July 15, 2012 Author Members Share Posted July 15, 2012 Ah shucks. Makes me want to work on some music today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members HoboSage Posted July 15, 2012 Members Share Posted July 15, 2012 Awesome tune, Bro. You speak for a lot of us! Love the guitar riffs, the singing, lyric - everything. I only have one suggestion. I don't think the last line of the chorus should switch the "I" persepective to the "you" perspective like this one does, and i think the way you sing "And that's how you have a midlife crisis, on a budget" gets hung up a little in the flow and takes just a wee bit too long to run it's course within the pace of the chorus, and that causes a corresponding hitch in the music to wait for the lyric. Anyway, I think you should sing the final chorus line straight away following the preceding line like in these three alternatives: "I guess need to take a look at my life, and learn how to love it. And have my midlife crisis on a budget/(Because)I need a midlife crisis on a budget/(Because)A workin' man's midlife crisis has a budget." The hook concept is great, and I personally think having the last line of the chorus "Because a workin' man's midlife crisis has a budget" would sell it the best. GREAT SONG! David Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted July 15, 2012 Members Share Posted July 15, 2012 Great tune, definitely radio friendly. Other than the mix, the only thing that jumped out as a possible change is the song is pining for a money note on "me" at the end of the final verse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dramey Posted July 15, 2012 Author Members Share Posted July 15, 2012 This song is about a year old. B just necroed it . Actually I like a lot of those suggestions, but I'm not sure I feel like revisiting it, give me a few years. And yeah, my mixes suck. I'd love to get better at that stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BumbleBb Posted July 15, 2012 Members Share Posted July 15, 2012 Ah shucks. Makes me want to work on some music today. I'd love to know the chords for this, as I can't play by ear. Seriously, I love it, I've played it for my husband a few times too. I like the "you" part in that line midlife crisis line, I wouldn't change it but that's just personal preference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BumbleBb Posted July 15, 2012 Members Share Posted July 15, 2012 Ah shucks. Makes me want to work on some music today. I'd love to know the chords for this, as I can't play by ear. Seriously, I love it, I've played it for my husband a few times too. I like the "you" part in that line midlife crisis line, I wouldn't change it but that's just personal preference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dramey Posted July 16, 2012 Author Members Share Posted July 16, 2012 The verse is mostly open chords D A Bm G D, I think. The chorus is just A Bm and G but a little trickier as I am shuffling back and forth between the A and Bm fairly quick. Now that I think about it I may have used a capo, but I don't feel like getting out of bed to check. It can't be that hard to play if I was able to do it . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BumbleBb Posted July 16, 2012 Members Share Posted July 16, 2012 The verse is mostly open chords D A Bm G D, I think. The chorus is just A Bm and G but a little trickier as I am shuffling back and forth between the A and Bm fairly quick. Now that I think about it I may have used a capo, but I don't feel like getting out of bed to check. It can't be that hard to play if I was able to do it . Ha, well then you should see me play. Thanks for the tips on the chords. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Monkey Uncle Posted July 16, 2012 Members Share Posted July 16, 2012 I like this one a lot. You're getting lots of love from this crowd because most of us can relate all too well. The "restless leg" verse occupies the typical bridge spot. You probably could turn that verse into a bridge just by flipping the chords and melody around a little. I found myself wanting a second verse before you launched into the first chorus; you know, typical pop AABAB structure. But it's fine as-is if you want to keep it that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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