Members Tomm Williams Posted November 30, 2012 Members Share Posted November 30, 2012 Wow, what a day. She leaves the house to go to work and discovers a boy laying in a ditch not moving and his bike laying by the road. She stops and runs over to him, fortunately, he wasn't hit by a car, he had an asmatic attack and passed out. She called 911 and helped him inside a near-by building until they arrived. Later that day, she has to drive about 30 miles out of town to pick me up from work as public transportation was cancelled due to high winds. On the way back, it's raining like hell and traffic is really heavy. We come around a corner with dozens of other vehicles and all of the sudden we see (what appears to be) a broken bag of trash strewn across our lane. Not time to swerve, she hit's the "trash" and we keep going. A few miles later,we start seeing emergency vehicles hauling ass back up the highway where we had just been. All of the sudden that sick feeling starts, What did we hit? Turns out a man somehow wondered out in the highway dressed in black, during an intense rain storm and got himself killed. what we saw that we thought was trash was the body parts from him being hit by as many as 70 vehicles (according to CHP). We were one of only THREE people who called CHP to report what had happened. They came to our house, looked at the vehicle (no damage) and told us they already knew who was at fault and we were clear. The officer told me that cars were STILL running the guy over when they arrived. Yeah-------------she had a bad day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Marko Posted November 30, 2012 Members Share Posted November 30, 2012 That first one may well have been a trap; I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Pro Sound Guy Posted November 30, 2012 Members Share Posted November 30, 2012 Originally Posted by Tomm Williams Wow, what a day. She leaves the house to go to work and discovers a boy laying in a ditch not moving and his bike laying by the road. She stops and runs over to him, fortunately, he wasn't hit by a car, he had an asmatic attack and passed out. She called 911 and helped him inside a near-by building until they arrived. Later that day, she has to drive about 30 miles out of town to pick me up from work as public transportation was cancelled due to high winds. On the way back, it's raining like hell and traffic is really heavy. We come around a corner with dozens of other vehicles and all of the sudden we see (what appears to be) a broken bag of trash strewn across our lane. Not time to swerve, she hit's the "trash" and we keep going.A few miles later,we start seeing emergency vehicles hauling ass back up the highway where we had just been. All of the sudden that sick feeling starts, What did we hit? Turns out a man somehow wondered out in the highway dressed in black, during an intense rain storm and got himself killed. what we saw that we thought was trash was the body parts from him being hit by as many as 70 vehicles (according to CHP). We were one of only THREE people who called CHP to report what had happened. They came to our house, looked at the vehicle (no damage) and told us they already knew who was at fault and we were clear. The officer told me that cars were STILL running the guy over when they arrived.Yeah-------------she had a bad day. WOW that is a lot to take in one day!As far as perspective goes both the kid, and especially the homeless guy had days far worse then your wife did! That image in your head of what you thought was trash will probably never go away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RoadRanger Posted November 30, 2012 Members Share Posted November 30, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members agedhorse Posted December 1, 2012 Members Share Posted December 1, 2012 Tomm, your wife had a GREAT day, she just didn't see it from the other perspective. She may have saved the kid's life by being in the right place at the right time (I had a very good friend who died from a severe asthma atack when he was in his middle 30's), and as far as the dead guy, he was already dead when she hit it so she didn't inflict any pain. Sometimes bad things just happen and if you don't know what it was or if it was impossible to avoid, that's just the bad kluck of the draw. In the world you work in, you see that sometimes bad things just happen to people in the wrong place at the wrong time, unfortunately not by accident though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members basschaplain Posted December 1, 2012 Members Share Posted December 1, 2012 Yes, no doubt the boy's parents are very happy you came by. They are blessed that you stopped. It is good to know of a situation where someone cared for another. And remember, the man that died didn't know anything that happened after he took his last breath. You calling CHP and your post reveals good-hearted people that would would have done all they could to change that situation given the opportunity. The first event, she had the power to act and she did. The second, ya'll did all you could; called CHP and grieved some for the tragic loss of a fellow human being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tomm Williams Posted December 1, 2012 Author Members Share Posted December 1, 2012 Originally Posted by agedhorse Tomm, your wife had a GREAT day, she just didn't see it from the other perspective. She may have saved the kid's life by being in the right place at the right time (I had a very good friend who died from a severe asthma atack when he was in his middle 30's), and as far as the dead guy, he was already dead when she hit it so she didn't inflict any pain. Sometimes bad things just happen and if you don't know what it was or if it was impossible to avoid, that's just the bad kluck of the draw. In the world you work in, you see that sometimes bad things just happen to people in the wrong place at the wrong time, unfortunately not by accident though. I'm doing my best to get her to look at it in a different light as you describe. She just says that it's easy for me to say that because I've dealt with so many similar things. Time fixes everything. Gotta feel bad for someone who just isn't that "type" of personality to deal with such horror. Another really odd element in this---------the vehicle directly in front of us (who also hit the victim) was an ambulance. They didn't recognize what they hit either and drove another 5-6 miles before getting dispatched to go back. Just an absolutely suck, suck night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mogwix Posted December 1, 2012 Members Share Posted December 1, 2012 my advice to you and your wife is to be there for each other. what may seem like a bad day can come back as serious trauma years down the road. give your wife some extra kisses for being a responsible human being and know that we're all here with you. Originally Posted by Tomm Williams I'm doing my best to get her to look at it in a different light as you describe. She just says that it's easy for me to say that because I've dealt with so many similar things. Time fixes everything. Gotta feel bad for someone who just isn't that "type" of personality to deal with such horror. Another really odd element in this---------the vehicle directly in front of us (who also hit the victim) was an ambulance. They didn't recognize what they hit either and drove another 5-6 miles before getting dispatched to go back. Just an absolutely suck, suck night. you don't have to "understand" what she's going through, just be there to give her hugs and tell her she's good people. a good friend of mine is an emergency responder and recently went through some very, very hard times. I couldn't begin to understand what he's seen or experienced, all I can do is let him know that I'm a friend and I'm here if he needs me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members agedhorse Posted December 1, 2012 Members Share Posted December 1, 2012 Tomm - check to see about the availability of a law enforcement Chaplin who may be able to help with this. It may be in your benefit package too. Same for a military Chaplin. Both specialize in this sort of thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Miko Man Posted December 1, 2012 Members Share Posted December 1, 2012 Tomm, my sympathy to your wife for what she experienced. She was exposed to two unexpected emergency situations in a single day; that is traumatic. I know that on the few occasions I have been the first person on a crash scene and rendered aid, it has taken a couple of nights before it quit replaying in my head. Best regards to her. Mark C. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Unalaska Posted December 1, 2012 Members Share Posted December 1, 2012 Oh holy crap! Stay home tonite and drink heavily. Not good advise but what the hell! Sorry for your bad day. And give your wife a good back massage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members basschaplain Posted December 1, 2012 Members Share Posted December 1, 2012 Originally Posted by agedhorse Tomm - check to see about the availability of a law enforcement Chaplin who may be able to help with this. It may be in your benefit package too. Same for a military Chaplin. Both specialize in this sort of thing. AH is giving you good advice.There are some common reactions to events like this; difficulty sleeping, replaying the images in your mind, anger, and a host of other physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual responses. Not everyone has them and some have one reaction(s) while someone else will have a different reaction(s). Let her feel and express whatever and however she needs. If the reactions don't significantly reduce in intensity and frequency in a few days, consider having her speak with someone trained and experienced in helping people through traumatic events. If the reactions are overwhelming now, don't wait. If she is up to it, the most prudent action is to not wait and connect her with someone now. Early help often makes things a whole lot easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members drumstix Posted December 1, 2012 Members Share Posted December 1, 2012 Wow, what a turn of events! Pray she feels better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stix 518 Posted December 4, 2012 Members Share Posted December 4, 2012 Tom, I'm a volunteer firefighter and medical first responder in my town. Yes, I/we do see some pretty horific sights at the various scenes we attend. A couple of things as to how the local department(s) handle these situations with our members: 1. The first thing to remember is (from our perspective), we did not cause the tragedy, we're there to try and help lessen it. 2. Any time there is a death, near fatality or massive trauma incident (if necessary), within 48 hours the Fire District brings in a special response team of counselors that work out of the State Fire Marshall's office to meet with the members that were at the scene. This is done collectively as a group and then individually as needed. A few years back I responded to an accident scene that involved the death of a juvenile (under 16) by ejection from the vehicle. After a search of the area, another first responder and I found the body over 100 feet from the accident scene (coroner's office report that was released at a later date indicated that he was killed instantly from a broken neck). I cried all the way home once we were released from the scene. Upon arriving home, I hugged and kissed all three of my boys (aged 11, 14 & 15 at the time) and couldn't let go. My wife was exceptional in how she comforted me with compassion and understanding. The next evening, the special response team was at the station and I met with them and the other attending members of the department. Discussing it with the counselors and the other members helped me wrap my head around what happened and how I was there to do good (much like your wife at the first incident) as opposed to beating myself up because I felt I could have/should have done more. You both are in a tough place as it relates to incident 2. Yet, I say to you, please refer to the first half of item #1 above. You didn't cause the tragedy and, based on your retelling of your experience, there was nothing you could have done to change the outcome. Unfortunately, sometimes bad things happen to good people. That being said, together you and your wife will get through this. Good luck, Stix Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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