Members Paolo Di Nicolantonio Posted June 10, 2006 Members Share Posted June 10, 2006 Every now and then one can find really funny phrases on synth manuals. I recently installed the SCSI kit for my faithful Roland W-30 and here's what is written on a page of its manual - BE WARNED!!! If you are a general user, you will NEVER have my manual. NEVER! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gilbertopb Posted June 10, 2006 Members Share Posted June 10, 2006 Mission Impossible! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mook Posted June 10, 2006 Members Share Posted June 10, 2006 I wonder where the 'bototom plate' is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Anonymous Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 Roland VSS multi track recorder manuals made me lol They compared mixer setups to a kitchen, including sink and other utensils, they even provided pics Roland Juno manuals had a picture of heavy duty working mens boots pressing sustain pedals and things Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tony Scharf Posted June 10, 2006 Members Share Posted June 10, 2006 If you want to have fun, download the PDF for the MPC1000. it is almost incomprehensible! Quite ironicly, the 2500 manual is fine.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WhinyLittleRunt Posted June 10, 2006 Members Share Posted June 10, 2006 Originally posted by Mook I wonder where the 'bototom plate' is? No, dummy... they spelled it wrong.... It's supposed to be "Rototom". It's an expansion slot cover for rototom-sound chips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BillyWa Posted June 11, 2006 Members Share Posted June 11, 2006 In German and then [edit] (I assume), translated into English, can be found this statement on the rear panel of the Waldo XTk: "A word to the wise: This device is home to a terrifyingly complex clutter of digital microelectronics, which, even if you are an experienced do-it-yourselfer, pose a great danger to all the rest of your gear, not to mention your earthly existence. Ergo, we implore you to expose this device to neither moisture nor dust and dirt, and particularly, to avoid the interior of the device like you would the plague. We'll even go as far - in your best interest of course - to void the warranty should you fail to comply. Incidently - you look somewhat bewildered..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members syncretism Posted June 11, 2006 Members Share Posted June 11, 2006 Originally posted by BillyWa In German and then translated into English, can be found this statement on the rear panel of the Waldo XTk the german one offers you gummy bears. the quasimidi polymorph and raven have some fantastic manuals. pictures from the berlin love parade and listening advice {"to better understand analogue sequencers, listen to [some album by tangerine dream]"}. class act. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rasp Posted June 11, 2006 Members Share Posted June 11, 2006 Waldorf microQ, page 127. After you have bought your 128th microQ, please contact Waldorf-Music AG. You will recieve a personal device number that authorizes you to have dinner with our Managing Director. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Don Solaris Posted June 11, 2006 Members Share Posted June 11, 2006 Roland MC-303 Groovebox manual: "Protect the unit from strong impact. (Do not drop it!)" "Never climb on top of, nor place heavy objects on the unit" and my favorite: "To avoid disturbing your neighbors, try to keep the unit's volume at reasonable levels. You may prefer to use headphones, so you do not need to be concerned about those around you (especially when it is late at night)." :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members packrat Posted June 11, 2006 Members Share Posted June 11, 2006 The classic drool-proof example of manual writing, held to be from the Apple LaserWriter manual: "Do not expose your LaserWriter to open fire or flame" B> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Khazul Posted June 11, 2006 Members Share Posted June 11, 2006 The one that makes me laugh is the dont-stick-it-in-the-trash sticker to be found on the bottom of most modern expensive synths... yes - Im really likely to stick a $2500 synth in the trash.. (???) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members xavios Posted June 11, 2006 Members Share Posted June 11, 2006 hahaha, there is a couple good ones in the OB-12 manual, anyone got it?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members stikygum Posted June 13, 2006 Members Share Posted June 13, 2006 There is something in German translation that makes English sound funny. My Quasimidi Polymorph manual has quite a few gems in it. I'll have to dig that thing up to see if I can find a few. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bad Chile Posted June 13, 2006 Members Share Posted June 13, 2006 The Quasimidi 309 manual, I recall, implored the user to "do not open the box the Quasmidi 309 comes in with a knife as this may damage the instrument." The manual, mind you, was packed in that same box. - Bad Chile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Soundastic Posted September 13, 2006 Members Share Posted September 13, 2006 Originally posted by Bad Chile The Quasimidi 309 manual, I recall, implored the user to "do not open the box the Quasmidi 309 comes in with a knife as this may damage the instrument." The manual, mind you, was packed in that same box. - Bad Chile No way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mytee2.0 Posted September 13, 2006 Members Share Posted September 13, 2006 the manuals for the metasonix TX1 and TX2 are pretty funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ElectricPuppy Posted September 13, 2006 Members Share Posted September 13, 2006 The PEK manual refers to a complete SysEx download as "the whole banana". That's about the extent of the humor in that manual, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members elsongs Posted September 14, 2006 Members Share Posted September 14, 2006 Originally posted by Paolo Di Nicolantonio The fact that you were able to take a digital photo of the manual means that you did not follow the directions and did not destroy it as you were specifically told. Since you are in direct violation of the law, I have no choice but to report you to the authorities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Yoozer Posted September 14, 2006 Members Share Posted September 14, 2006 I like the sleeve of the box of my Mackie VLZ Pro better. - Keep dry and never open your umbrella indoors- FRAGILE : they made us say this but actually, it's built like a tank-IMPORTANT NOTICE: For sale on Earth only. Not for export to off-world or alternate dimensions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members idiotboy Posted September 14, 2006 Members Share Posted September 14, 2006 deja vu ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Paolo Di Nicolantonio Posted September 14, 2006 Author Members Share Posted September 14, 2006 Originally posted by idiotboy deja vu ? You haven't realized that this thread is older than the one you're quoting above, have you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blue halo Posted September 14, 2006 Members Share Posted September 14, 2006 Now, this may be simply an urban legend, but a friend of mine once told me of a Roland digital piano's manual that was poorly translated from Japanese to English. The Japanese version said to Screw the leg into the unit into the base of the piano, but when translated into English, it came out a little more like {censored} leg of unit.... etc. This is what I've heard at least. He doesn't remember which piano that was from, so I can't easily look it up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rpieket Posted September 14, 2006 Members Share Posted September 14, 2006 Originally posted by Yoozer I like the sleeve of the box of my Mackie VLZ Pro better.The Mackie manuals are written by a comedian. Even the packaging contains jokes like that. But Germans can be funny, too. Who'd have thunk? Although I'm not always sure that it is intentional. From the Quasimidi Cyber 6 manual: "We have designed this for you to use as an enormous tool." -Ron. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members idiotboy Posted September 15, 2006 Members Share Posted September 15, 2006 originally posted by Paolo Di Nicolantonio You haven't realized that this thread is older than the one you're quoting above, have you? ackkk.....my bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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