What do you think of my new electronic song?

Like the title says, I got bored last night and wrote a new electronic song. What do you guys think, and any suggestions for names?

New Electronic Song

No love?

At Midnight's Fairground

I liked it. The ending was a bit jarring. Not bad. Just unexpected. That might be off-putting to some people, but certainly I like it.

Nice suggestion on the title.

As for the ending, it surprises me too every time haha. This whole thing was basically improvised, and by the time I realized the ending was sort of odd, I was already too far in to stop it haha. Any suggestions for how to make it less jarring though?

Thanks again!

I like it, pretty hypnotic. Love the bleeps and bloops in the background. My only suggestion is try fading in the beginning, the start sounds a little awkward.

I like all of the parts, they have a good flow to them. Suggestions I would make.

Try throwing a filter on a few bars. Maybe a telephone effect as this will break it up a bit more. For the ending, try a crossfade between the 2 parts. It will smooth out the transition

Needs a better chord progression and keyboard part. The transition at 3:00 is really rough.

How's Nashville?

I like it.

But to my mind, you're ignoring a whole register. Think about Pink Floyd's The Great Gig in the Sky. Where the female vocal goes off? I think you need to introduce a great melody up in that register but placed back in verb like "Great Gig". Guitar? Synth? Vocal?

Right now, as much as I like it, it sounds like a bed for something that hasn't happened yet.

Alright, just uploaded a new version of the song, and addressed a couple of the problems that were easy fixes. Let's see what you guys think now!

I love the idea. I plan on talking to a female friend of mine tomorrow to see if she thinks she can do anything with it. That sounds absolutely awesome though. I see exactly what you're saying. Thanks!

Thanks again for all your help so far, everyone.

Let me know what you think of the new version!

I still can envision this song playing with a video of a fairground at night. Dark with saturated lights.. near an ocean.

The ending is much better seated into the track and the song now ends in a far less jarring manner.

So, folks telling you that it needs a stronger chord progression.. I don't know that I agree with that. I tend to OVER compose everything, and that is just as inaccessible to most people. Normal music listeners don't appreciate 16 Chords changes before the end of the second verse.

As an ambient tune, I think this is pretty good. Adding vocals or structuring the song more may make you focus too much on one thing and that always defeats the purpose of ambient music.

People, most people who want to make everything sound like pop, are so accustomed to having something melodic floating in a high (soprano/alto/high tenor) register and having such a rigid chord or structure framework.

The good news is, people can be retrained. Make the song you want to make.

I definitely see what you're saying. Great advice. I do sort of dig the idea of giving it a "Great Gig in the Sky" female vocal to it. Sort of a female humming/scat type of thing that gets pushed back in the mix a bit. I may even end up drenching it in reverb to see what happens. I dunno. I may try it, and if it works then great, if not then oh well.

Hot damn, I like it. I think that may be our winner. haha

You have any thoughts on the actual song itself?

Actually, I could see a nest at some point, like insects swarming around or something? It seemed to fit. It sounded pretty good to me, I'm not a big electronica fan, but this seemed enjoyable.

Yeah. Right now "The Nest" is definitely in the lead. I like it.

Thanks again, man.

Basically, when you have two tracks which overlap, you move the faders for the two tracks in opposite directions (track 1 from 100% to 0%, track 2 from 0% to 100%) until track 2 completely replaces track 1. If the tracks match melodically and rhythmically, it's pretty straightforward, if not, you may have to apply some dj black magic to make the operation sound good.

Sorry, that was a little abrupt. I guess that chromatic thing (A/F#, G#/E, G/E, G#/E) doesn't really go anywhere for me. The playing is fine, such as it is, I just think that it is difficult to play an exciting melodic part over that chord progression. The E-B part is slightly better but is still quite harmonically static.