Members TimeKeeper310 Posted December 15, 2006 Members Share Posted December 15, 2006 Holiday Eating Tips 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas! 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. 8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert-Labor Day? 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards. 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips and start over, but hurry. January is just around the corner. Remember: Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, screaming, "Hoo-yah, what a ride!" MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Old Steve Posted December 15, 2006 Members Share Posted December 15, 2006 Nice! Merry Christmas, Timekeeper! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 1001gear Posted December 15, 2006 Members Share Posted December 15, 2006 C- Merry Christmas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members FitchFY Posted December 15, 2006 Members Share Posted December 15, 2006 Outstanding! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nklarow Posted December 15, 2006 Members Share Posted December 15, 2006 Merry Christmas... Jeez, I've been singing Christmas carols in Latin all day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members robbyg Posted December 15, 2006 Members Share Posted December 15, 2006 Just reading this gave me gas! I WILL follow your manefesto! merry christmas ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members the DW Posted December 15, 2006 Members Share Posted December 15, 2006 Originally posted by TimeKeeper310 ...Remember: Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, screaming, "Hoo-yah, what a ride!" +1000 Wishing everyone a joyous holiday season! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TimeKeeper310 Posted December 16, 2006 Author Members Share Posted December 16, 2006 :wave: ....just wanted to share it...came in my e-mail, and I got a little laugh from it..... ...it's been a great year, hanging out with you guys in here!!! Laizzez les bon temps rouler!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Pearl Player Posted December 16, 2006 Members Share Posted December 16, 2006 Volcano? NO NO NO..... Devils Tower... Eat and Repeat. And If I have to explain it... HEHE I wont... HAPPY HOLIDAYS everyone! Now where did I leave my Christmas GOOSIE!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Drumming4Him Posted December 16, 2006 Members Share Posted December 16, 2006 Go look through your house for the perfect gift for your best friend. -sm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mraia Posted December 16, 2006 Members Share Posted December 16, 2006 Fantastic! Words to live by, and not only during the Holidays!! Its been a pleasure having you around here TK! Merry Christmas to you and yours! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aqualung211 Posted December 16, 2006 Members Share Posted December 16, 2006 I blew my whole check on my mom last night:2 boxes of fine italian chocolate2 french vanilla scented candlesWeird aroma/fragrance jar....you put the sticks inside the jar and the scent seeps the the wood. Like a 2000 year old Glade plug in i guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mraia Posted December 16, 2006 Members Share Posted December 16, 2006 Originally posted by aqualung211 I blew my whole check on my mom last night:2 boxes of fine italian chocolate2 french vanilla scented candlesWeird aroma/fragrance jar....you put the sticks inside the jar and the scent seeps the the wood. Like a 2000 year old Glade plug in i guess. Thats the way to do it! Fine Italian Chocolate,eh...well done, sir. Well done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aqualung211 Posted December 16, 2006 Members Share Posted December 16, 2006 Originally posted by mraia Thats the way to do it! Fine Italian Chocolate,eh...well done, sir. Well done! All vaginas crave chocolate...fact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mraia Posted December 16, 2006 Members Share Posted December 16, 2006 Originally posted by aqualung211 All vaginas crave chocolate...fact. Ummm...this IS your Mom we're talking about, right:confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aqualung211 Posted December 16, 2006 Members Share Posted December 16, 2006 Originally posted by mraia Ummm...this IS your Mom we're talking about, right:confused: Yeah...but it's a female thing. All women go ape-{censored} for it. It's like crack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mraia Posted December 16, 2006 Members Share Posted December 16, 2006 Originally posted by aqualung211 Yeah...but it's a female thing. All women go ape-{censored} for it. It's like crack. It is that! Man, I love the dark stuff. With nuts. Gotta have nuts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aqualung211 Posted December 16, 2006 Members Share Posted December 16, 2006 Originally posted by mraia It is that! Man, I love the dark stuff. With nuts. Gotta have nuts. Do you like your nuts warm and salty? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mraia Posted December 16, 2006 Members Share Posted December 16, 2006 Originally posted by aqualung211 Do you like your nuts warm and salty? Sure!! Who doesnt like some warm salty nuts in their mouth!! Nothing like wrapping your lips around some nuts, right:rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aqualung211 Posted December 16, 2006 Members Share Posted December 16, 2006 Originally posted by mraia Sure!! Who doesnt like some warm salty nuts in their mouth!! Nothing like wrapping your lips around some nuts, right:rolleyes: [/quote http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_i8DfkuDuIg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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