Members corngoodness Posted August 31, 2005 Members Share Posted August 31, 2005 I had a bass player and drummer lined up to jam with. We were doing the e-mail thing. We had simular tastes in music, age, etc. Then I told them that I was clean and sober and wasn't looking for a party situation. I haven't heard back from them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members guitarmook Posted August 31, 2005 Members Share Posted August 31, 2005 Which version of 'sucks' would you rather have? The one where you're sober, and can't find people to play with, or the one where you're not sober and can't find your keys, your gear, or your driver's license, 'cause you're in jail for DUI? It could be a hellofalot worse... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members corngoodness Posted August 31, 2005 Author Members Share Posted August 31, 2005 It kinda feels like when you don't get invited to the party because you're a nerd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RupertB Posted August 31, 2005 Members Share Posted August 31, 2005 Originally posted by guitarmook Which version of 'sucks' would you rather have?The one where you're sober, and can't find people to play with, or the one where you're not sober and can't find your keys, your gear, or your driver's license, 'cause you're in jail for DUI?It could be a hellofalot worse... +1 Spend a couple of years nursing along a band member who has a serious addiction (& no desire to kick it) and you'll appreciate those "no calls" a lot more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ToBeAnnounced Posted August 31, 2005 Members Share Posted August 31, 2005 I auditioned for a band years ago, there was another guitar player there before me. He played and sang about 5 songs, guy was really a lot better than me.He leaves, I figure I don't have a chance. Plug in and get halfway through something, the band leader stops the tune, tells me the gig is mine.How is that possible? I ask.The other guy is a cop he replies, as he breaks out a fatty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jackcheez Posted August 31, 2005 Members Share Posted August 31, 2005 Then I told them that I was clean and sober and wasn't looking for a party situation. I'm a guy who doesn't mind a drink now and again. I don't get drunk or anywhere near it. If somebody came off like that to me I might not be interested either. It sounds as though you may have a problem if I have a drink. Are you able to be around people who are drinking ? I don't want any addicts or drunks in my bands. I'd sooner hire clean & sober but if you go making a big deal out of it...in other words, try a different approach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rangerkarlos Posted August 31, 2005 Members Share Posted August 31, 2005 I've been C & S for 20+ years, never slowed down my music. When asked what i'm drinking, i say water or coke. never been an issue. If asked, I say i don't drink. I don't feel a need to announce my sobriety, and i never dog anyone who isn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Next to Nothing Posted August 31, 2005 Members Share Posted August 31, 2005 Originally posted by jackcheez I'm a guy who doesn't mind a drink now and again. I don't get drunk or anywhere near it. If somebody came off like that to me I might not be interested either. It sounds as though you may have a problem if I have a drink. Are you able to be around people who are drinking ? I don't want any addicts or drunks in my bands. I'd sooner hire clean & sober but if you go making a big deal out of it...in other words, try a different approach. +1 billion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members corngoodness Posted August 31, 2005 Author Members Share Posted August 31, 2005 Well the bass player's e-mails were kinda all over the place so I figured he was a little too far out there. So I just didn't want to get into another dissappointing situation. I guess my assumptions were accurate because they never even heard me play and dumped me based on my non-partyness. I aint down with the reptilians no more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members XXX Posted August 31, 2005 Members Share Posted August 31, 2005 Originally posted by Danocoustic Waa.WAA.WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members corngoodness Posted August 31, 2005 Author Members Share Posted August 31, 2005 do you need a pacifier? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sunchaser Posted September 1, 2005 Members Share Posted September 1, 2005 Nothing worse than being the only sober one packing up all the gear, while your bandmates stumble all over the bar trying to pick up chicks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Terry Allan Hall Posted September 1, 2005 Members Share Posted September 1, 2005 Originally posted by rangerkarlos I've been C & S for 20+ years, never slowed down my music. When asked what i'm drinking, i say water or coke. never been an issue. If asked, I say i don't drink. I don't feel a need to announce my sobriety, and i never dog anyone who isn't. Been my aproach for about 25 years! My policy has been C&S during ALL music related activity...and what someone does on their off-hours is not my business! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mrcpro Posted September 1, 2005 Members Share Posted September 1, 2005 If you think that a clean and sober lifestyle sucks just because a couple of party animals won't jam with you... man...you'd better call your sponsor. You're headin' for a relapse...your brain's playing tricks with you. If a new bandmate or customer offers to buy me a drink, I'll refuse at first. But If they continue, I'll pull out my 11 year coin. It's always on me. The response is never hostility. And often in answering their questions I'll get to share my experience, strength, and hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members corngoodness Posted September 1, 2005 Author Members Share Posted September 1, 2005 noooo. See, I've never been in a 12-step program or rehab. I've never had a DUI. I've never been divorced. My health is pretty good. I plan on keeping things that way. I moved here recently from Michigan. I dont know many people. I was dissappointed because I was looking forward to playing with a real drummer and bass player instead of with my drum machine. My mind is just fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Guitar Centaur Posted September 1, 2005 Members Share Posted September 1, 2005 Originally posted by mrcpro .....But If they continue, I'll pull out my 11 year coin. How many drinks will that thing buy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Terry Allan Hall Posted September 1, 2005 Members Share Posted September 1, 2005 Originally posted by corngoodness noooo. See, I've never been in a 12-step program or rehab. I've never had a DUI. I've never been divorced. My health is pretty good. I plan on keeping things that way.I moved here recently from Michigan. I dont know many people. I was dissappointed because I was looking forward to playing with a real drummer and bass player instead of with my drum machine.My mind is just fine. You might check out a AA or NA meeting or two....just might be a couple C&S musicians looking for a C&S dude like yourself! Don't give up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Scafeets Posted September 1, 2005 Members Share Posted September 1, 2005 My experience has been that people who need to proclaim that they're "clean and sober" are sending the message that they don't want to be around drugs or alcohol. That's cool, but I like a beer now and then and would prefer to play with people that are comfortable with that. If what you're really saying is that you don't want to be in the same room with booze, then the clean and sober message is a good way to get that point across. If all you meant was "I'm not gonna party with you," you're probably better off not mentioning it until you get there. Then there's the drug thing: I wouldn't bring it up until the situation presents itself. But when it does, I'd let the person know that you're uncomfortable with the situation. If that doesn't make the situation disappear, then it's time to pack up and go home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mrcpro Posted September 2, 2005 Members Share Posted September 2, 2005 Originally posted by Scafeets My experience has been that people who need to proclaim that they're "clean and sober" are sending the message that they don't want to be around drugs or alcohol. That's cool, but I like a beer now and then and would prefer to play with people that are comfortable with that. Well, I guess I don't proclaim that I'm clean and sober unless I'm pushed, but if I need to explain why I'm not drinking with someone, yeah. But I don't mind being around people and other musicians who are drinking...not at all. It's how I make my living. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members uitar9 Posted September 2, 2005 Members Share Posted September 2, 2005 Rangerkarlos, I agree. I play with three others who take a drink or 10 when ever. I've been C and S since 1986. It doesn't bother me that they do or bother them that I don't. Corngoodness. You have to decide who you want to play with. If it's C and S people, then look for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lee Flier Posted September 2, 2005 Members Share Posted September 2, 2005 Originally posted by Terry Allan Hall You might check out a AA or NA meeting or two....just might be a couple C&S musicians looking for a C&S dude like yourself! Don't give up... Yeah that's a good idea. I know a lot of people who've gotten hooked up with gigs through AA/NA. Made me feel like going to meetings even though I'm not a recovering addict! I've always been used to playing in bars around people who drink, and not drinking, because I started gigging when I was underage. I never tried to stop anybody else having a good time, unless their habit got in the way of the band being able to function. I don't know whether people just figured out that it didn't really matter whether I drank or not, it was just never an issue. I never heard of anybody saying they wouldn't be in a band with somebody because they were sober. That might lead me to believe they have a bigger substance problem than they want to admit, so maybe they wouldn't be the greatest people to be in a band with anyway. As it is now, nobody in my band does any drugs, and we rarely drink either. It just sorta worked out that way, nobody asked each other about it beforehand. It's really a relief not to have to deal with anybody's substance problems, I must say, so if that's what you want maybe you should hold out for that! Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members dughaze Posted September 4, 2005 Members Share Posted September 4, 2005 Don't worry about it. I don't drink or smoke as of the last 10 months and I am enjoying being healthy. I rermember being a heavy drinker and thinking I sounded better when I was drinking and thinking those serious guys didn't know how to have fun. Anyone that doesn't respect someone for wanting to be healthy is retarded. I was retarded for 30 years and knew I was. It's that simple. I quit requiring that people need to not drink to play music with them but I also noticed that just like someone you would rather work with at a serious job the drinkers are my least favorites for logical reasons. Music to me is a fun job and I get "high" when we have those sometimes really on nights. Ha, now I feel good when I wake up in the morning now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tdempsey Posted September 7, 2005 Members Share Posted September 7, 2005 where did you move TO from Michigan, I'm clean and sober andalways looking for musicians to play with, even though I'm on the brink of giving up! (playing with people, that is). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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