Bar Bangers Rant

[wagdog]

His comment to me..."These people don't know what they like."

 

 

That's beautiful!

 

Nice looking tele in your avatar, btw.

[Rich4Once]

My band played a local hole in the wall a couple of months ago. The guy has a big screen directly behind the band, with the Cartoon Network on it. He wouldn't let us set up any lights, and wouldn't let us bring in any PA.

We were expected to play in the dark, in front of a giant tv showing Captain Caveman, and using his house system, which was a pair of 12"+horn cabs on sticks, with an 8ch powered mixer. It was horrible, the pay was horrible, and we refuse to go back. He and his club can rot in hell!

BTW last weekend, we played a different place up the street from him, and had a packed house. One of the people at the show told us they'd been barhopping, and just came from the cartoon joint...it was empty. The barhopper and his friends stayed at our gig until closing.

That's the best revenge right there.

[WynnD]

Bars that don't or barely promote themselves. If the band is doing all the promoting, it should be getting all the newsprint ad money that the club isn't spending. (Ought to look up what that amounts to.)

[WynnD]

Also, if the club tells you to turn it down, do it. (Ignore the cries of the drunks to turn it up.)

 

Several times management has asked the band to turn up. Every time the group sounded worse. We started ignoring everyone who requested it louder. We just sound better at the volume that we play.

[Crownman]

From a cover bands perspective.. This is why I always check out a place at least three or four times on the weekends before trying to book anything there. Also, I walk in with the agreed contract and show it to the person that will be handing out the money at the end of the night. Once they acknowledge that that was what was agreed to, then the equipment gets loaded in. Not one second before.

If the place says that they won't work with a contract then I usually send a nicely worded e-mail like this.

" I just wanted to doublecheck the times so everything goes smoothly. It's 4 45 minutes sets between 9:30pm and 1:30am for $600 right?"

When they reply with "YES" I print it out and take it with me. It's fairly easy to get bar owners or managers to reply to these emails as long as you don't make it contract like.

[BigMac5]

If the place says that they won't work with a contract then I usually send a nicely worded e-mail like this. " I just wanted to doublecheck the times so everything goes smoothly. It's 4 45 minutes sets between 9:30pm and 1:30am for $600 right?" When they reply with "YES" I print it out and take it with me. It's fairly easy to get bar owners or managers to reply to these emails as long as you don't make it contract like.

pure genius!

[MartinC]

Over the years I've done many bar gigs, and experienced a lot of what has been written here. I had a lot of fun at some of those gigs, got flashed by pretty girls, played to good crowds sometimes, made a little money, felt good about what I was doing. But, really it's no way to make money playing music in my area. I always envisioned a huge packed bar where people dig the music and you get paid really well. Never happened. I'm envious of those guys who can make those gigs work.

[Nobody Told Me]

Bars that cancel your show because "the crowds have been slow so we're not going to have bands on those nights anymore". Then a few weeks later they book other bands for "those" nights.

 

Bars that have inadequate exhaust fans. The cigarette smoke is so thick by midnight that you need the landing lights from a 747 to cut through the haze. Singers really enjoy this.

[Nobody Told Me]

Bars that won't do contracts and renege on the agreed price at the end of the night, and then promise they

[tim_7string]

Bars that refuse to open up the door RIGHT NEXT TO THE STAGE because so-and-so has the only key and we don't know where they are right now. So you end up schlepping your gear all through the bar, bumping into people because the tables are so close together. Repeat at the end of the night (so-and-so is still MIA).

Not knowing what time you're supposed to start (8:30 p.m.? 9:00 p.m.? 9:30 p.m.?) because two different people gave you two completely different times over the phone.

My biggest pet peeve: some clubs and bars charging us for a goddamn Coca-Cola on tap. I can understand an establishment charging for a can. But if I specifically request that I don't mind it off the tap, I shouldn't be charged for it! I think it's a pretty minimal perk. Lately, I've been resorting to either just drinking ice water off tap all night or smuggling in my own mini-cooler of pop. At least if the bartender gives it to me off tap, they'll get tips. If not, oh well, their loss. I know of one bartender who will specifically refuse to give me pop for free. I don't go to that person whenever I play that bar (the other bartenders will happily do it).

Constantly hounding us to end our break early and get on stage again "because the crowd is leaving" (this is usually bull{censored}). Well, I'm sorry, but I live by the philosophy "work hard, play hard." I bust my ass on stage, hurting my fingers and stripping my vocal chords. When it's time to relax, I RELAX and no one is going to tell me different, especially if we've already agreed to set times for when we're on stage and when we are off.

Bar owners trying to stiff you from your agreed price (which is already piss poor to begin with) because they personally didn't like your music, even if the crowd was loving it.

This is just a small taste. If I listed everything, I'd be here for hours.

[12Pack]

Bars that don't let you bite the heads off of bats. It's just not "Crazy Train" without the bat chewing.

[Scafeets]

Great list so far. I'll add:

 

Bars that don't advertise and still have the sign outside promoting last weekend's band.

 

Bars where the house sound between sets is played twice as loud as the band's PA.

 

Bar owners that double the price of their drinks on weekends, then complain when everyone shows up late and loaded.

 

Bars that don't have enough qualified security.

 

Bars with no stage.

 

Bars with 8, 9 or 10 foot ceilings.

 

Bars with dirty electricity.

[Scafeets]

 

From a cover bands perspective.. If the place says that they won't work with a contract then I usually send a nicely worded e-mail like this. " I just wanted to doublecheck the times so everything goes smoothly. It's 4 45 minutes sets between 9:30pm and 1:30am for $600 right?" When they reply with "YES" I print it out and take it with me. It's fairly easy to get bar owners or managers to reply to these emails as long as you don't make it contract like.

 

 

I do the same thing. Emails have saved me from "differences of opinion" more than a few times.

[dogtownmax]

Great list so far. I'll add: ... Bar owners that double the price of their drinks on weekends, then complain when everyone shows up late and loaded. ...

yeah, i remember a great show where the bar was _watering the drinks_. it wasnt subtle either. and this was at a pretty stiff price as well.

between bands, _everyone_ went to a neighboring bar and got a little too smashed, because they were drinking faster to get back to the bar with the music.

this was a capacity crowd too, which for this small bar was 50-75 people. it was pretty intense playing to so many really trashed folks.

the bar paid us pretty well too, but how they could be happy about having only gotten a fraction of the booze sales is beyond me

what the expression? penny wise and pound foolish?

[fastplant]

yeah, i remember a great show where the bar was _watering the drinks_. it wasnt subtle either. and this was at a pretty stiff price as well. between bands, _everyone_ went to a neighboring bar and got a little too smashed, because they were drinking faster to get back to the bar with the music. this was a capacity crowd too, which for this small bar was 50-75 people. it was pretty intense playing to so many really trashed folks. the bar paid us pretty well too, but how they could be happy about having only gotten a fraction of the booze sales is beyond me what the expression? penny wise and pound foolish?

Eaxactly, far too many bar owners and managers give their customers such little credit. They honestly believe that people don't realize what's going on. And that's why all these bars fail so miserably. Give a good service for a good price and people will flock there.

[corbind]

Never been paid with anything but cash. How typical is it for bars to pay with check or ask for tax info?

[Scafeets]

We get almost all checks from corporate gigs. Some bars cut a check, ask me to endorse it and then cash it for us.

We only had two organizations ask for tax info in the last five years. One was an Elks club private party and the other was a lawyer's wedding.

I handle the tax and check thing the same way: I have a corporation set up to handle music and web projects. They make the checks out to my company and then I pay the individual band members. Because we're a semi-pro outfit, we never make much of a profit, thanks to the legitimate writing off of equipment, travel expenses, etc. So I do the paperwork as part of my sideline business.I don't file 1099s on the band because we're not talking about a lot of money. They all have day jobs, and I said it's up to them if they claim the $$ or not. If they're itemizing deductions, they're better off claiming the income so they can write off gear.

[RupertB]

Never been paid with anything but cash. How typical is it for bars to pay with check or ask for tax info?

 

 

Two of the three places we play regularly cut us 1099s.

 

Good list so far, though I haven't dealt with most of the BS mentioned in years. The places we play regularly treat us pretty well.

 

We did get caught in a double-booking situation a couple of weeks ago. The bar owner is a good guy who is going through some serious health problems but I had two people driving 2.5 hours to play the gig. He apologized, said to go ahead & play and that he'd call the other band. I felt bad for the other guys.

 

The only complaint I have right now is the establishments' websites. Some are slack about updating their entertainment calendar. One lists the entertainment but provides no link or description of what is being played. Some of the web-sites are just poorly designed (too busy, PITA to navigate).

[Ides of March]

Ya know, all these rants are why I frown on doing the cover band thing. Doesn't matter who you bring or how good you are these places that you guys frequent to play always gives {censored}e to the musicians instead of welcoming them. I have also been through the cover band thing with alot of the same {censored}e you guys have been saying and I got sick of it real fast.
I am glad to be in an original band and play on a bill with other bands who are the same. And I also like the idea of recording and playing and writing better than just learning other peoples music. I do practice with covers though that is fun.

[Howie22]

Ya know, all these rants are why I frown on doing the cover band thing. Doesn't matter who you bring or how good you are these places that you guys frequent to play always gives {censored}e to the musicians instead of welcoming them. I have also been through the cover band thing with alot of the same {censored}e you guys have been saying and I got sick of it real fast. I am glad to be in an original band and play on a bill with other bands who are the same. And I also like the idea of recording and playing and writing better than just learning other peoples music. I do practice with covers though that is fun.

 

 

I understand your point. However, a lot of "cover band" guys, like me, are really just in this for fun and a little extra spending cash.

 

I have no illusions of "making it" in music. That's not my desire here.

 

The idea of writing my own songs and then havning to sell 30 tickets for the club owner, just so he'll let my play for 45 minutes for no pay doesn't sound fun to me either. To each his own, I guess.

[Ides of March]

I don't plan on making it big or playing to a vast amount of people. But for me I love the idea of playing a song we wrote for people who know it and love it. That makes it worth while for me. No matter how many people are there.

[BlueStrat]

 

I don't plan on making it big or playing to a vast amount of people. But for me I love the idea of playing a song we wrote for people who know it and love it.

 

 

You could always play originals in a cover band context, like we do. We currently play 9 of my songs and are working on the 10th. I have 4 more in the wings. And we still get to play four hours and get paid at least 100 bucks a guy.

 

And I've done literally thousands of gigs, and only a fraction of them have been bad. The list I made is a compilation of 34 years or playing out.

 

 

That makes it worth while for me. No matter how many people are there.

 

 

Unfortunately, when you're in a bar, it isn't just about you. If you don't make it worth it for the bar owner, you don't get to go back.

[Ides of March]

Unfortunately for me BlueStrat I don't have....and don't take this wrong I am not being a smartass, but I don't have your experience and unfortuantely you are vastly more known then I will ever be. And I would love to play a show and have each band member get 100 bucks a person but that won't happen anytime soon. I have rifts within the band, when one thing gets fixed, another problem opens up. It's like a black cloud over my head. But I don't give up and no matter if I have just me in the band I will still keep the myspace and keep it going.

You have a good thing going and that's cool, But I need to keep it moving without playing out and playing open mics and acoustic shows which kind a sucks sometimes.

[BlueStrat]

Unfortunately for me BlueStrat I don't have....and don't take this wrong I am not being a smartass, but I don't have your experience and unfortuantely you are vastly more known then I will ever be. And I would love to play a show and have each band member get 100 bucks a person but that won't happen anytime soon. I have rifts within the band, when one thing gets fixed, another problem opens up. It's like a black cloud over my head. But I don't give up and no matter if I have just me in the band I will still keep the myspace and keep it going. You have a good thing going and that's cool, But I need to keep it moving without playing out and playing open mics and acoustic shows which kind a sucks sometimes.

 

Yeah, I remember now some of the trials you've had and shared here.

 

I feel your pain, and all I can tell you is to keep at it and don't give up and you'll either find the right guys or you'll fall into something already going looking for a guy just like you to round them out. That's how I got into the band I'm in now.

 

You'll get there if you just keep plugging away. I'm sending good mojo your way!

[strathound]

I'm sending good mojo your way!

 

 

Click the link below and push the play button on the player for a little Texas Mojo.

 

Sorry, couldn't resist. I'll flog myself later.