Members agedhorse Posted June 19, 2002 Members Share Posted June 19, 2002 Originally posted by mackoid Yeah, for you old guys. Not for the youngsters like me. But isn't that what makes you older??? What doesn't kill you will definately make you stronger (and smarter) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Six String Stuntman Steve Posted June 19, 2002 Members Share Posted June 19, 2002 Originally posted by bassknave Hey, nasty and profane are good, too. Hooray for nasty and profane!!! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ATOMICDOG1 Posted June 19, 2002 Members Share Posted June 19, 2002 I was zip tying my effects loop and channel switching cables, that run back to my amp from the pedal board. I had 3 cables, about 20ft, with 35 zip ties. I finish up, look down, and there is the 4th cable that I forgot to put in! So I just doubled it up with 70 zip ties. PITA. I hate it when you forget the obvious. My favorite is when I get done soldering a cable and when I look down at the bench, there's the barrel...DOH!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tripoutski Posted June 19, 2002 Members Share Posted June 19, 2002 Originally posted by ATOMICDOG1 My favorite is when I get done soldering a cable and when I look down at the bench, there's the barrel...DOH!! I just relived a lot of frustration reading this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zeromus-X Posted June 19, 2002 Members Share Posted June 19, 2002 Same here... I do that all the time working with computer parts too, though. Or when I solder the connector back on and forget to put it through whatever tiny hole I had to take the connector off to GET it through. Did that make sense? Hmm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members agedhorse Posted June 19, 2002 Members Share Posted June 19, 2002 Try screwing this up when building up a multi-pin harness! That's a real pisser... I really check twice now, and still do it once and a while. I then walk off my temper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ATOMICDOG1 Posted June 19, 2002 Members Share Posted June 19, 2002 A while back, I was working for a company who, in addition to live prod work, did installs. We had a kid who was working for us and we had him doing a FOH position at a huge church. All he had to do was fish a 40 pr. snake through a 3" conduit and then solder the XLRs on it while we were doing an afternoon corporate gig. So we come back from the show (maybe 3hrs later) and he has about half of the snake soldered... still on the stage. He hadn't fished it yet. Took him a while to get all those XLRs off:rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members theelmsrock Posted June 21, 2002 Author Members Share Posted June 21, 2002 MrKnobs, you better get busy writin'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators MrKnobs Posted June 21, 2002 Moderators Share Posted June 21, 2002 You guys! You have no idea how busy I am! In the next ten days I have two gigs (playing), live sound at one festival, and five nights of studio work booked, not to mention my day job. I'm also currently working with 3 manufacturers on various musical projects! Until they perfect cloning, there's only one of me! OK, OK, I guess I can write a short one. About 10 years ago I was working FOH sound for a popular country band in a little {censored} hole SPJST hall in Dime Box, Texas. Now Dime Box is interesting because there is an old Dime Box and a new Dime Box. At one time, there was only Dime Box. Then, the state built a highway to it. Most of the locals didn't like that so they moved the entire town to a more remote location. All that remained in what is now old Dime Box is a gas station / convenience store, plus a few houses and farms. Everybody else is now happily relocated down a tiny farm to market road.I mention this because it gives you some idea of the type of town Dime Box is. DB has really not changed since the 1940s or 1950s, a town comfortably stuck in time. The town has one KC or SPJST hall (I forget which) where every last person from 6 to 60 comes out on Saturday night for "the dance." Doesn't really matter who's playing, everyone shows up. The old folks dance to drippy country standards and the kids wait until they leave for the band to crank up the volume and start thumping out the rap and modern rock they crave. This may be a strange culture to some of you, as it was to me when I first started working it. It is extremely lucrative; bands working this "big halls in small towns" circuit typically make $2,000 to $3,000 on a Saturday night. There are at least a dozen bands in Texas that make their living entirely in this way.So I find myself working in this culture shock gig. About halfway through the show, some large disturbance occurs and almost all of the crowd pours out the door leaving the hall empty. Normally, this signals a fight, which is even more entertaining to the locals than the dance. The band keeps playing, but since the need for a soundman is diminished with no audience, I decide to venture out and see what's going on. There is a crowd gathered around a pickup truck. In the bed of the truck lies a young man, writhing in obvious pain. I can't see what's wrong with him because a large crowd is huddled up against the truck looking at him. Some are young girls and are giggling. An older man pushes through the crowd, huddles with several other town elders; they shoo the crowd away and drive off with the boy still in the truck bed. Strange.Someone explains to me what has happened. The guy, a little drunk, and on a dare, climbed the flagpole outside the hall, complete with an admiring female audience. Somewhere near the top, he lost his grip and slid down the pole. Not a big deal, except that flagpoles have a cleat that is used for fastening the rope. In this case, the cleat caught the unfortunate young man in a tender place as he fell and neatly removed his family jewels. The men were debating where to take him, as Dime Box is quite remote from any hospital. I learn later that he has been taken to Caldwell, another small town, about 30 miles away, all the while laying in the back of the pickup truck over the bumpy dirt road.Later that night, just before closing time, someone stops the band and gets up on a mike to make an announcement. The doctors in Caldwell were able to save one of his testicles! He will be able to sire a family. That is all. The crowd cheers! Just another night in Dime Box, Texas.Terry D.$$$TDO$$$ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Tommy the Cat Posted June 21, 2002 Members Share Posted June 21, 2002 ROFL!! Terry, man, you gotta write a book just full of these short gig stories! Seriously, I think that would do pretty well. Our (the bass forum's) own Zeromus-X has some writing skillz too...hell, his Limp Bizkit audition story spread all over the internet, and landed him in Spin magazine.Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, write a book! Short little gig story...we were playing a carnival, and I believe it was in May. I live in the South, and it is hot around May. We were playing on one of those trailer-stages, the portable ones with no vibe and that look like the inside of a beer can. They also have the added ability to gather sunlight and heat very well. It must've been at least 100 degrees on that stage, not to mention the humidity. Anyway, long story short, our singer passed out in the middle of a song. We have a videotape of it - it's hilarious! You see him fall down behind a wedge, his feet bounce up, then he's out of sight. It's great. :DThe crowd liked it too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tarantinos Posted June 21, 2002 Members Share Posted June 21, 2002 That last one could really be felt... keep Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Six String Stuntman Steve Posted June 21, 2002 Members Share Posted June 21, 2002 Originally posted by MrKnobs Someone explains to me what has happened. The guy, a little drunk, and on a dare, climbed the flagpole outside the hall, complete with an admiring female audience. Somewhere near the top, he lost his grip and slid down the pole. Not a big deal, except that flagpoles have a cleat that is used for fastening the rope. In this case, the cleat caught the unfortunate young man in a tender place as he fell and neatly removed his family jewels. ........ .......I learn later that he has been taken to Caldwell, another small town, about 30 miles away, all the while laying in the back of the pickup truck over the bumpy dirt road........ ....... The doctors in Caldwell were able to save one of his testicles! He will be able to sire a family. That is all. OOOOUUUUCCCCHHHH!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!!! Oh God Terry, that was BRUTAL!!!! I could almost feel the pain just reading that.I wonder whether to laugh or go reinforce my "diamonds" with plaster or something.Keep 'em coming king!!-Nigel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ron C Posted June 21, 2002 Members Share Posted June 21, 2002 A couple of years ago i was sound engineer for a band called "Stormrider", they play 80's metal (covers) like Manowar, Kreater, Slayer that kind of stuff. While i was standing behind the Mixing console this hells angel dumbass who looked like Catwesel came to me asking if I knew the function of all those buttons and faders . I noticed he wasn't the smartest guy around so I said to him: "Most of these buttons are all fake, it's Rock 'n Roll you know!", I pressed a PFL button of an not connected channel and said: "look when i press this, that LED' s burning, thats all! can you hear a change of sound?"and when i twist this knob, do you hear a change of sound? ", he agreed there was no difference in sound of course. "It's all show i told him, just to impress people like you!"Rock 'n Roll you know!...Wow he said, i didn't knew that".Then he asked me where i used the headphones for, I pointed at a couple of CD's and said to him: "Do you really think i'm gonna listen to this metal crap all evening, now way, i just brought some of my own CD's to listen to, and I even get paid for it!" Yeah, he said that's {censored}ing clever! He looked at me as if i was his hero and bought beers for me all evening!When i told this story to the band later on, they told me that guy was some local idiot, you defenately don't want to have fight with! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members theelmsrock Posted June 21, 2002 Author Members Share Posted June 21, 2002 Ron - Thats too good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zeromus-X Posted June 21, 2002 Members Share Posted June 21, 2002 Thanks for the kind words TTC -- I'll have to post some more stories on here soon! I know I've got a few more. Nothing like MrKnobs, though, so don't expect TOO much. I've got a few further up the list though. At least one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rocknrollwillneverdie Posted June 21, 2002 Members Share Posted June 21, 2002 Originally posted by MrKnobs You guys! You have no idea how busy I am! In the next ten days I have two gigs (playing), live sound at one festival, and five nights of studio work booked, not to mention my day job. I'm also currently working with 3 manufacturers on various musical projects! Until they perfect cloning, there's only one of me! OK, OK, I guess I can write a short one. About 10 years ago I was working FOH sound for a popular country band in a little {censored} hole SPJST hall in Dime Box, Texas. Now Dime Box is interesting because there is an old Dime Box and a new Dime Box. At one time, there was only Dime Box. Then, the state built a highway to it. Most of the locals didn't like that so they moved the entire town to a more remote location. All that remained in what is now old Dime Box is a gas station / convenience store, plus a few houses and farms. Everybody else is now happily relocated down a tiny farm to market road. I mention this because it gives you some idea of the type of town Dime Box is. DB has really not changed since the 1940s or 1950s, a town comfortably stuck in time. The town has one KC or SPJST hall (I forget which) where every last person from 6 to 60 comes out on Saturday night for "the dance." Doesn't really matter who's playing, everyone shows up. The old folks dance to drippy country standards and the kids wait until they leave for the band to crank up the volume and start thumping out the rap and modern rock they crave. This may be a strange culture to some of you, as it was to me when I first started working it. It is extremely lucrative; bands working this "big halls in small towns" circuit typically make $2,000 to $3,000 on a Saturday night. There are at least a dozen bands in Texas that make their living entirely in this way. So I find myself working in this culture shock gig. About halfway through the show, some large disturbance occurs and almost all of the crowd pours out the door leaving the hall empty. Normally, this signals a fight, which is even more entertaining to the locals than the dance. The band keeps playing, but since the need for a soundman is diminished with no audience, I decide to venture out and see what's going on. There is a crowd gathered around a pickup truck. In the bed of the truck lies a young man, writhing in obvious pain. I can't see what's wrong with him because a large crowd is huddled up against the truck looking at him. Some are young girls and are giggling. An older man pushes through the crowd, huddles with several other town elders; they shoo the crowd away and drive off with the boy still in the truck bed. Strange. Someone explains to me what has happened. The guy, a little drunk, and on a dare, climbed the flagpole outside the hall, complete with an admiring female audience. Somewhere near the top, he lost his grip and slid down the pole. Not a big deal, except that flagpoles have a cleat that is used for fastening the rope. In this case, the cleat caught the unfortunate young man in a tender place as he fell and neatly removed his family jewels. The men were debating where to take him, as Dime Box is quite remote from any hospital. I learn later that he has been taken to Caldwell, another small town, about 30 miles away, all the while laying in the back of the pickup truck over the bumpy dirt road. Later that night, just before closing time, someone stops the band and gets up on a mike to make an announcement. The doctors in Caldwell were able to save one of his testicles! He will be able to sire a family. That is all. The crowd cheers! Just another night in Dime Box, Texas. Terry D. OW! it hurts just HEARING someone tell that...ow...i wish i could tell cool stories like that...ow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators MrKnobs Posted June 21, 2002 Moderators Share Posted June 21, 2002 Originally posted by rocknrollwillneverdie ow...i wish i could tell cool stories like that...ow... There's no storytelling art involved, I'm just recounting what actually happened to me or others while I watched.You know, when you have a 30 year career in music on the road and in the studio, a few things are bound to happen. Of course 19 out of 20 gigs are boring and uneventful, but then..... Terry D. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ATOMICDOG1 Posted June 21, 2002 Members Share Posted June 21, 2002 We were on our way to a gig in South Dakota, when we stopped in a small town in southern MN to get gas. When we came out of the gas station to leave, the truck made a horrible grinding sound and the starter basically disintigrated. We were about 40 miles from the gig in Sioux Falls and most of the towing companies that were open didn't have rigs big enough to handle a large cube van full of gear. So we kept calling around and finally found a towing company that was located on the interstate just east of Sioux Falls with a semi tractor towing rig. He came all way to where we were to pick us up and even brought his son to drive a car with us in it to Sioux Falls. Meanwhile we had talked to the club a couple of times and the owner was really cool. He even offered to send some one out to get us, but we told him we were on the way. So we finally had the tow truck driver take the truck to the club. there were a couple of people standing there when we pulled up, and they yelled into the club that the band was finally there. Upon hearing this a waitress came out and says "So, you guys are the band, huh? I heard you had a hard time getting here. Maybe this'll make you feel better." and she flashed us her tits. I was kinda liking the place by now, but I really liked it when I walked in the door... There were HUNDREDS of bras hanging from the rafters, each with a name and a date. There were also motorcycles hanging from the main beam running the length of the building. (did I mention that it was a biker bar? ) They were the coolest bunch of people that we have ever played for. Even though we started an hour late they were very responsive and kept buying us drinks. God, I like that place... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members noblues=notrock Posted June 21, 2002 Members Share Posted June 21, 2002 During baseball preseason, we do conditioning. You know, long distance running and other hard, physical things that we will never use in baseball. One of the exercises involves a long elastic band. It is used to tether two people together. One person takes off running, and the other person follows after him after a delay, in which tension builds, which slingshots you forward and is supposed to get your muscles conditioned to running faster (especially since the penalty for lagging behind too far or tripping up is getting dragged across the ground accidentaly but quite publicly). A guy, one of my best friends on the team, was the second guy (the guy who runs after the first guy). The coach wasn't there that day, so the whistle (which signals when the second guy can run) was left in the hands of the captains, who weren't really sure of the ideal timing. The person who my friend would be taking off after was pretty fast. The first guy took off, and after a few seconds we heard the whistle. Unfortunately, the other thing we heard before that was a loud snap, followed by an even louder stream of profanity. The elastic band had snapped at the waist of the first person, and had flown about three-quarters of the length of the length of the gym. As the bands were connected at the waist, the band hit my friend in a place not too far south of there. Luckily, besides some embarassing swelling and some pissing of blood, he was alright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rocknrollwillneverdie Posted June 21, 2002 Members Share Posted June 21, 2002 Originally posted by Garry Vogel Way back in the 80`s metal days (circa Shout At The Devil), my old band snared a weekend at a local seedy metal club. Our last song of the third set was "Take Me To The Top" by Motley (SHeesh, what a lame song-- I had to teach the other guitarist Jim how to play the unison solo even...). A few days prior, we had tested our concussion mortar outside at the singer`s house (he had a cop for a next-door neighbor, and after clearing the potential noise issue with him, he witnessed the boom with glee...). For those unfamiliar, a concussion mortar is a big steel tube with a heavy base that you fill with smokeless powder, and set off with model-rocket igniters. A standard load is two capfulls of powder. We set it off outside on the trial run, and DAMN! is it loud! If it wasn`t for the next door cop alerting dispatch, we would have had a visit from the authorities.On Friday nite after the second set, I asked the bandmembers if anyone had loaded the mortar. No one had, so I filled it with a couple capfulls, and thought, "heck, let`s make it a good one," and put in another for good measure. Went to the bar for an intoxicant or five, meanwhile our "stage manager" (just a friend of the band who liked to hang and scam groupies) hadn`t heard my previous inquiry and loaded the tube with another normal dose, and also thought, "what the hell, let`s rock the house," and added another couple capfuls. He goes outside to smoke something, meanwhile our singer just gets back inside the club from a parking lot BJ from some skank, and he decides to load the sucker. He puts in a couple capfuls, and notices there`s just a little left, so he empties the rest into the mortar (keep in mind how dark it is with the stage lights off...).So now there is OVER *6* TIMES the normal load in the sucker!Fast forward to the end of the set, we hit the last chord as I was as far away from the mortar, which is planted dead center in front of our drum riser (made of 3/4" plywood, four feet tall to simulate "big band" status), as was possible.BOOOOOM!...Tom, our singer is blown off the stage all the way onto the first center table, knocking over drinks and pitchers, landing on top of two overweight leather sluts...the drumriser (3/4" plywood, mind you) cracks and blows backward, toppling our drummer and his Peart-sized kit and ripping the front bass drum head...Glasses get knocked off of tables in the back row...Geno our bassist gets blown sideways into his towering bass rig, the amp head falls on his head...Decades of filth, dust, dead roaches and other insects are blown off the ceiling and rafters, covering all the tables with disgusting debris, including a couple dead rats...all woofers on the PA, along with the horn compression drivers are blown out...I couldn`t hear anything but ringing in my ears for a couple days...JT the bouncer runs into the room from the front door, sees the debris, and laughs his ass off, saying that "I`ve worked here for four years and that`s the LOUDEST thing I ever heard!"I have heard that the Smothers Brothers incident with The Who (depicted in The Kids Are Allright) was caused bythe same misunderstanding.Anyway, we decided to stick with strictly visual pyro from then on. GREAT STORY! that one had me literally laughing out loud... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rocknrollwillneverdie Posted June 22, 2002 Members Share Posted June 22, 2002 Originally posted by MrKnobs There's no storytelling art involved, I'm just recounting what actually happened to me or others while I watched. You know, when you have a 30 year career in music on the road and in the studio, a few things are bound to happen. Of course 19 out of 20 gigs are boring and uneventful, but then..... Terry D. yeah. that's what i meant. or something like that. i'm just saying that i have a boring life in comparison with yours...possibly because i'm only 16, and so you have been playing music as a career nearly as long as i have been ALIVE.your stories are so much more interesting than those that are taking place now - which basically consist of the following 3 steps:1. writing songs2. getting lucky and writing one that ends up as a hit3. playing 10,000+ seat stadiumsoccasionally, the second step is replaced by "send demo to Fred Durst, who listens to it while stoned and just happens to like it" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Six String Stuntman Steve Posted June 22, 2002 Members Share Posted June 22, 2002 Originally posted by rocknrollwillneverdie 1. writing songs2. getting lucky and writing one that ends up as a hit3. playing 10,000+ seat stadiumsoccasionally, the second step is replaced by "send demo to Fred Durst, who listens to it while stoned and just happens to like it" It's a sad world. RUSH would've been smeared soooo bad if they came out now.....simply because they committed the mortal sin of "playing" their instruments. -Nigel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members agedhorse Posted June 26, 2002 Members Share Posted June 26, 2002 OK, I forgot about this one, but the production manager at a facility I do contract work for (over 25 years) reminded me of this. It happened last year. We were loading into a 550 seat legit. theatre (full fly gallery) on a major CA university campus and we are parked in their loading dock with a truck & 16' trailer with all permits and documentation. This parking enforcement officer starts hassling us about a 30 minute limit for the loading dock and we explain that we have the permits which allow us to be there 24/7 since the dock is reserved EXCLUSIVELY for us. She says it doesn't matter, and if we are not doing any active loading, it's considered parking, which we also had a permit for, but she doesn't care. So, after we dumped the 7000 lbs of PA, we had one of the crew, take a rack and roll it into and out of the trailer for 2 additional hours while set-up took place. Crew rotated, and maybe a case changed every now and then, but we were actively loading! Boy was she pissed, I thought she was going to blow a gasket. She called her superiors and they sent a "suit" out to see what was happening. We did this all with a straight face, and I then pointed out that we had exclusive use of the dock from the head cheese and we needed the parking officer's vehicle moved since we had some equipmemnt that could get out of control and could not be held responsible for accidental damage. The suit smiled and sent her on her way, still fuming. Rumor circulated around the parking department, and I got in the mail a "hands off" permit and haven't had a problem since! I hear that they still laugh about how we handled the situation. I was able to get away with it because it was easy and correct to go up the food chain. I also knew most of her superiors all the way up to the director of parking services, who confirmed that she was no longer doing that kind of work... they had a serious problem with her behaviour in a loading zone incident! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Six String Stuntman Steve Posted June 27, 2002 Members Share Posted June 27, 2002 If you look back to earlier posts by ashivraj, sherinian_gonnabe and myself, you'll come across our show from hell....a concert about a year ago where everything went absolutely wrong.Mentioned there are tom and jerry...the school electricians who happen to be in charge of the mixer...and hence ex officio "sound techs". Well, we anticipated the probability that they'd kill our show, so we asked a classmate of ashivraj to "supervise" the two of 'em, and make sure there weren't any massive blunders.He failed.At first they tied him up, and kept undoing all his levels (which he was DESPERATELY trying to keep intact). He was outnumbered and after a certain point...nearly gave up.One song on our setlist that day was a hindi song called "Dil Chahta hain" which roughly means "My heart wants (love)". That was the only non-english song for the day and we figured a huge part of our audience might like it....it was catchy, relatively new and popular, and was famous for it's "whooping" guitar solo (which basically means a loud guitar) that everyone related it with.Now I'd heard this song only once before the show, and we hadn't practiced it at all...except once, the night before when I was taking a break. I vaguely knew there was a solo somewhere...and I more or less knew the chord structure....and to cover up I programmed a "dj turntable scratch" type sound on my processor that I could play around with through the song.By the time this song came around, tom and jerry had abandoned the mixer and left our "soundman" to it. I told him beforehand to make sure the scratch was audible and the guitar solo was LOUD (purely because everyone was looking forward to it....i swear:rolleyes:).Disaster! The song started, the crowd went absolutely WILD and people were getting up all over the place.....and the whole 12th grade jumped onto the stage....almost knocking us and our gear over."Is it time yet" I asked abhi"No""IS it time yet""No""Is it time yet""Wait, Wait...NOW!!"I hit the processor, ran to centre stage and started whacking out an improvised solo. It was pretty good except that I COULDN'T BE HEARD!! Where was the bloody soundman??? ON THE STAGE!!! AAAAHHH!!!There I was....going wild as hell centre stage, fingers flying across the fretboard...with no sound! I felt like a modern day nu-metalist.-Nigel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Six String Stuntman Steve Posted June 27, 2002 Members Share Posted June 27, 2002 Refer here for background on this story.When babies are born, they are held upside down and slapped on the bottom to get the blood flowing. Our school "head of music dept.", tommy, was dropped on his head.My evaluation of him is that he obviously had a really good trainer and has learned a vast musical wealth, but he just lacks the brains to use it right. Every song must have five hundred maj5ths or dim9ths or aug15ths or God knows what else. Some people, like my father, know how to throw in a good number of chords and really enhance the song. Tommy on the other hand knows how to make people cringe.Saturday Night Fever was no exception. From day one, he would add 8 million chords to each song and have wild running jazz basslines in his left hand....until everything sounded like a tuneless, structureless mess.Oliver wouldn't quite stand for it. At first he would gently tell tommy at practice to "simplify" the tunes so that people could keep a beat. Tommy dared not say anything to Oliver, but would complain for hours on end to me. "It takes musicians to keep the time. You have to have a musical sense. What the hell is this? A school? what do I look like, a music teacher? He picks out these kids because they can hold a tune and he expects me to train them?? What the hell do I look like? A music trainer?" Some people just don't get it.Finally the day of final selection of lead role comes. I and 3 others came into the auditorium and Oliver had us each read some script and sing "Stayin' Alive"....with that king tommy on the piano.The first guy goes up, loses beat, Tommy murmurs something under his breath.The second guy goes up, loses beat, Tommy tells him to keep the beat by tapping his foot.The third guy goes up, loses beat, Tommy starts shouting at him telling him that he's an idiot with no sense of rhythm. Oliver quietly watches.I go up, Tommy says to the others, "Now listen to Nigel, he will keep perfect beat, because he's a good musician." Tommy starts playing his 500 bassnotes, and 12 note chords (CDEFGAB...a Cmaj7sus4add13) and I'm desperately trying to make out what's happening."Ah!..err..Uh?, Ah! Eh? Sta-yi-yi-yin al...no..err..alive"By now tommy is totaly stumped and curses the world for being full of heathens.Oliver couldn't help himself anymore. Two days later tommy managed to throw a whole choir off...and Oliver got off his chair and started throwing f's and b's left right and centre...."Tommy, you imbecile! You *&$#$%& fool! You %^*%#$ @$$hole!! You're the stupidest f-ing arse I've ever seen....you're playing SH*T, you're going to ruin my f-ing show!!""But see, Kevin, THEY'RE the ones messing up, they can't keep time""YOU F-ING FOOL!! YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT A WHOLE BLOODY CHOIR OF 40 odd STUDENTS CAN'T KEEP TIME???""Yeah"By now ashivraj, sherinian and I were sniggering away, trying desperately not to laugh...tommy had that a long time coming.The ironic thing is, he still didn't stop. In fact, he played more crap everyday, and got a good firing atleast 15 times. Some people are truly gifted.-Nigel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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